Total Drama, What is Real?
by TheGunmaster
Summary: An Alternate version of Season 5 made with my buddies Rufus T. Serenity and CRGGL. Chris Mclean is gone, in prison... so there's a new Host running the show... but that isn't the only change. 18 newbies competing with 15 vets, for a cash prize of 2 million big ones! But they'll all soon find out that on this season... things are not as they seem on Total Drama... What is REAL?
1. Total Drama, What is Real?

Total Drama, What is real? Episode 1… Prologue.

"Hey Dudes, this is another Season of Total Drama, and I'm your new Host, Kevin Rawlings!"

Kevin is a tall, lean guy with spiked Blonde hair, dull green eyes, and pale skin, dressed in a Dark blue Muscle Shirt, tight black Jeans with a white belt and bronze buckle, and gold Converse High-Tops. He's grinning ear to ear.

"Chris would be here but he's currently facing 15 years in prison for breaking over a dozen environmental protection laws. I know I'm supposed to say that I feel sorry for him but I don't. Jackass is finally getting what he deserves! I had to work with him during 2 movies… think he's bad hosting this show? TRY HAVING HIM ON A FILM SET!" Kevin screams in rage.

He quickly composes himself, and smiles. "But enough about that has-been. You may know me from my time in "EX-calibre" or as Mike Truth on "Restrained Progression", or more recently for my Album "Blue Rain", but enough about me… on with the show!" Kevin exclaims.

"As you can see… WE'RE BACK ON THE TOTAL DRAMA AFTERMATH STUDIO!" Kevin yells as the camera pans out across the entire studio.

"But before we start the new season, we have many new competitors, and they have to be introduced… ROLL THE AUDITION TAPES!" Kevin yells as a giant wide screen comes out of the ceiling.

* * *

**"And now we have our first Audition tape… Damian!" Kevin exclaims, smiling.**

1. Damian

Gender: Male

Age: 17

Height: 6'0

Weight: 190 pounds

Family: Heather (eldest sister), Melody (younger sister), Mom, and Dad.

Label: The Hellraiser

(Static)

A kind of tall kid with almond-shaped black eyes, spiked jet-black hair in an orange t-shirt and jeans appears on camera.

"Hey Guys, I'm Damian... why should I be on Total Drama? Well, I'm the Captain of the track squad, the lacrosse team, and the hockey team. And..." Damian grins deviously, "… my older sister is Heather. Yeah, THAT Heather! I wanna show you guys something..."

Damian takes the camera off its tripod, and walks over to the bathroom, where Heather is drying off her long hair, which is now neon pink and says, "Hey Sis!"

Heather glares at him as she says, "What do you want you creep?"

"Oh I just wanna show you something..." He hands her a hand mirror, she gasps and her eyes widen in horror as she sees her hair. While laughing, he adds, "Yeah that stuff won't come out for months!"

"DAMIAN!" Heather Shrieks in rage.

Running down the stairs away from infuriated Heather while laughing maniacally, he turns the camera back to his face as he's running, "If you guys wanna see more of that, you'll put me on the show!"

"DAMIAN, WHEN I CATCH UP TO YOU, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!" Heather shrieks off camera.

Damian continues laughing manically and running.

(Static)

* * *

**"Ok, so we have Heather's little bro tormenting her… great stuff! I hate that bitch!" Kevin says before adding, "Next up… is another sibling of Heather…and she's even better! Melody Everyone!"**

2. Melody

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Height: 5'10

Weight: 120 pounds

Family: Dad, Mom Heather (Eldest sister), Damian (Older Brother), unnamed youngest sister, unnamed Cousin

Label: The Mirror Image

(Static)

"Camera on big sis?" The camera nods that it is.

"Great!" A girl with Almond-shaped blue eyes, with short jet-black hair in a bob cut, with a pair of violet sunglasses on her forehead, with a purple-strapped tube top with a golden ring in the center holding it together is speaking.

"Hi guys, my name is Melody, I am the younger sister of someone you guys might be familiar with... Heather, the queen bee."

Melody walks a ways out, revealing she's also wearing blue jean daisy dukes, and brown shoes with purple straps.

"Just like my sister, I'm determined, cunning, and have a devious mind, Melody says with a smile before adding, "But unlike her, I'm smarter, prettier, and more athletic!"

"HEY!" Heather yells off camera.

Melody expression turns serious, and she points to the camera as she says, "And I'm going to do the one thing you couldn't Heather, WIN! Watch out Total Drama, cause Melody's coming to town!"

Heather leaves the camera on the mantle as she gets in Melody's face, "What did you just say?"

Melody gets right in Heather's face, and says, "I'm going to WIN!"

They growl in each other's faces and then get in a slap fight.

(Static)

* * *

**"Once again, Heather does not get along with her siblings… what a surprise" Kevin says, rolling his eyes. "Next up is another sibling of a classic contestant, Greg!"**

3. Greg

Age: 16

Height: 5'10

Weight: 140 pounds

Family: Mom, Gwen (Older sister)

Label: The Prankster

(Static)

A kid with round, black eyes, with a round face, wearing a blue ball cap with white lining covering brown hair in a mullet, a green t-shirt with a skull in the center, and blue jeans, is playing at his turntables.

"Oh, camera's on? Awesome! Anyways, I'm Greg, as you can see, I'm an absolute master with turntables... mixers, synthesizers, if it has anything to do with being a DJ, I'm all over it yo!"

"ARRRRAGHHH!" Greg cups his hand to his ear to hear the scream, and nods while smiling in satisfaction.

"If you're wondering where that scream came from, it came from my sister's boyfriend Duncan, you may know him, he's a class-A jerk, and he just fell into my trap."

Greg turns the camera around to find a Duncan who's covered in feathers and glue standing in the doorway.

"Hey Duncan, how does feel to look like a chicken? Ha-ha-ah..."

"YOU LITTLE MOTHER**ER! AFTER I'M DONE WITH YOU YOU'LL WISH YOU NEVER HAD BEEN BORN!" Duncan runs towards the camera, with murder in his eyes.

"Oh Crap! Gotta go, see ya later homies!"

(Static)

* * *

**"HA-HA-HA-HA-AH… I hate Duncan, and this is just too rich, I think I'm going to like this kid!" Kevin says grinning before adding, "Next up is a contestant that shockingly isn't related to a previous one… Rob!"**

4. Rob

Gender: Male

Age: 18

Height: 5'10

Weight: 170 pounds

Family: Mother, Father

Label: The Sharpshooter

(Static)

A white skinned male of average height and build with both a beard and mustache of five o' clock shadow is on one knee on patch of grass with nothing but grass behind him. He is wearing an army cameo vest with a bright red shirt underneath it, grey pants, and a tan cowboy hat. His attention is focused on a M40 hunting rifle with scope beside him. As he starts placing bullets in the M40's chamber and while still focusing on the gun, he talks to the camera.

"Greetings Total Drama. I'm Rob. I would be a great asset to your show because despite only being eighteen, I'm already a highly regarded sniper in the American military. I could explain my credentials but actions speak louder than words…with a bang."

On **'a bang'**, the Sharpshooter had placed the last bullet in the sniper rifle's chamber. For the first time, the teenager in the army cameo vest and red shirt underneath it looks at the camera. For the first time his bright yellow eyes and his dog tag necklace are visible to it. Rob then moves the camera slightly so a target many paces away can be seen on the side. With a smirk, he says calmly but confidently, "Observe."

The Sharpshooter then focuses once again on the sniper rifle and gets it ready. Now showing the black glove and watch on his right hand, Rob fired six shots in succession.

After firing, the camera is picked up by Rob and shakily records one of his sides as he runs several meters to the target. Once there, the camera regains focus and shows one hole, at the very center of the target. Rob had hit the bull's-eye very center six times without any flaw indicating any deviation of any bullet however slight!

Looking at this with a look of justifiable pride, Rob turns his attention to the camera.

"I don't think I need to say anymore aside from the fact that I would be a great additional to Total Drama and…" The teenage Sharpshooter began before his cell-phone started ringing, "Uh, one second."

After looking at the caller ID, he developed a brief expression of woe before answering.

"Hi, Dad. I'm at the shooting range doing my audition tape for Total Drama. Da...Dad. Dad, listen, we've been over this before. I'm not a crazed gun fanatic; I'm a military sniper. Well the difference being that one is a job and the other's mental sickness! Yes Dad! You can be into guns and not be a psycho. Why do you think the shooting range has a rule that you can't shoot while someone is looking at the targets? Do you think that…?"

**BLAM!**

Rob stopped mid-sentence as a target not too far away from his current position was fired upon. Not sure how to process this, it took a second shot knocking off his grey cowboy hat to get Rob running away as fast as he could while still holding the camera.

(Static)

* * *

**"This dude is Killer! The ratings are going to spike! YES!" Kevin exclaims with excitement. "Next up is a tattoo artist, interesting… anyway here's Francisco everyone!"**

5. Francisco

Gender: Male

Age: 18

Height: 6'3

Weight: 275 pounds

Family: Mother, Father, Older Sister (23), Younger Sister (17), Younger Sister (10)

Label: The Tattoo Artist

(Static)

As some smoke passes by the cameras lens it shows a somewhat seedy tattoo parlor. At first the eyes is drawn to a man in his forties who bald, burly, brawny, and very tall. But his exact height is unknowable because he is allying on a bench his stomach. He is getting a tattoo and the camera focuses in on the person giving the tattoo, who's 18.

The eighteen year old is pretty tall too while also possessing very tan skin with several tattoos of different sizes and styles and a very muscular build. He has messy black hair and dark brown eyes. Though the mountainous older man blocks the camera's view, it is still noticeable that the muscular teenager is wearing white tank top shirt and blue shorts.

The teenager is so focused on the tattoo he's making that it takes the person filming him to remind him he's on camera for him to address the camera while still working on it.

"Hola! Francisco here. I think I'd be a good contestant for Total Drama because I would approach it as I do every tattoo I make, with effort, care, and all of my heart and soul. While the money would be useful to help my family's tattoo parlor, I'd like to compete for another reason. I'd like to show the world that people of Hispanic heritage are not all cruel manipulators like Alejandro who hurt people and…"

**"EEEEIIIIGHH!"**

The mountainous man is on his stomach screaming in agony, as Francisco got distracted and not only messed up the man's tattoo but also damaged his skin. As the man stands and stares daggers at him, Francisco looks at the camera in the way a deer looks into a car's headlights.

(Static)

* * *

"Ha-ha… not the way to make a good impression my man" Kevin says in between laughs. "Maybe you'll change that in the competition… anyways… onward with… BRITNEY?!" Kevin exclaims in shock.

6. Britney

Age: 17

Height: 6'2

Weight: 175 pounds

Family: Dad, Mom, Kevin Clark (Aka Kevin Rawlings)

Label: The Songstress

(Static)

A tall girl with long, flowing blue hair, with round green eyes, and violet lips dressed in a pink tank top, tight white shorts, and short lime-green heel-boots is sitting on a large, comfy looking red couch in what looks like a studio. She's warmly smiling at the camera.

"Hi Total Drama, and all you Brit-Brit fans out there! I am obviously Britney Clark; you may recognize me as one of the best teen songstresses of all-time, in fact..." She pulls out a framed platinum album as she smiles smugly, "…my latest album, "My Time" just went platinum b***es!

"DOES MY MUSIC SUCK NOW?!" Britney shouts, clearly addressing a deep concern. Realizing this, she attempts to act like it never happened as she resumed her audition tape, "Ahem! Anyways, when I get on Total Drama, I can guarantee you guys insane ratings that you've never had before, just because I'm just that awesome!"

"No you aren't, YOU FUCKING SUCK BRITNEY! AND YOU'RE MUSIC'S EVEN WORSE!" Someone yells off camera.

She growls, and pulls a bat out from under the couch, and smiles evilly as she says, "Excuse me for a minute" before walking off camera.

"DO YOU WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN?!" Brit screams off-camera.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Someone screams as a nasty **"whack!"** can be heard, followed by a dull thud.

She walks back to the couch, bat still in hand as she pulls out her smartphone, and dials somebody. "Hello, David? Yeah, it's me again... another moron managed to sneak through security AGAIN! I wouldn't have to keep doing this if you actually hired some competent security! No, these morons who know nothing about me deserve everything they get! YOU ARE MY AGENT, DO YOU'RE FUCKING JOB DAVID!"

She hangs up her phone and looks up awkwardly at the camera. "Sorry you guys had to hear and see all that sorry... remember, I equal ratings heh-heh...sigh..."

After sighing, she face palms herself.

(Static)

* * *

**"WHAT THE FUCK?! Why is my little sister on this show?! Is this someone's idea of a sick joke?! I DID NOT SIGN UP TO TORMENT MY SISTER ON INTERNATIONAL TV! WHERE IS MY CONTRACT!? WHERE'S THAT F**KING CONTRACT!?" Kevin says in a rage far more intense than any we have seen from the new host so far.**

**An intern nervously hands him his contract then scurries off in fear. He reads it again… "Apparently I did… and it's in the Motherfucking fine print! FUCK FUCK FUCK! I should know better… I've been in this business long enough to know what can be in the fine print! GODDAMNIT!" Kevin yells, hitting himself in the head in frustration.**

**"We're going to cut to commercial as I have a "friendly chat" with the producer… CUT TO COMMERCIAL NOW!" Kevin screams in rage.**

* * *

1 Commercial break later…

Kevin can be seen holding the business suit clad producer by the cuff of his shirt, Kevin beating him yelling "I had no fucking clue my sister was going to be on this show! I'm the host! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE!"

"Uh Kev, commercial's over man." One of the stagehands says off-screen.

Kevin looks at the camera shocked and then drops the producer with a look of distain on his face. The producer crawls away, his face bloodied and bruised, groaning "I can taste my organs…"

"Sorry about that heh-heh… SHIT… anyways onto…" Kevin looks down the list, "…Nise!"

* * *

(Static)

7. Nise

Age: 16

Gender: Female

Height: 5'5

Weight: 105 Pounds

Label: The Quantum Physicist to Be.

A small Japanese girl with short black hair, yellow horn-rimmed glasses covering small round onyx eyes, wearing a sky-blue t-shirt and black pants with a white lab overcoat appears on camera.

"Oh! You startled me... Hello everyone! My name is Nise. For my audition, I'm going to do something amazing and world-changing... I'm going to make a much more efficient lithium-ion battery!"

She smiles as she pours in a semi-solid white and silver colored Lithium-Magnesium mixture into a metal casing... it starts to smoke... her eyes widen in fear.

"Oh Crap! It's not supposed to do that! RUN!" Nise shouts as she grabs the camera and tries to run away, only for a bright yellow flash and an earth-shattering "BOOM!" to envelop the area! The camcorder cuts out.

The feed reappears; the camcorder is sitting on the floor on its side. Nise right in front of it, her lenses cracked, her hair singeing, and her clothes in tatters. She coughs, "Oh... my head... that's not the way it was supposed to work..."

(Static)

**"Ouch… I hope she's okay… I'm She'll be fine everyone!" Kevin says unsure before changing the subject by saying, "Enough of that. We are moving right along onto… Chris apparently, roll it!"**

* * *

8. Chris

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Height: 5'7

Weight: 170 Pounds

Label: The Enigma

(Static)

It's a bright sunny day with some large and grey object in the background out of focus. However what is in focus is the back of a figure in a hooded black overcoat, a black fedora hat, and a long black cape that reached the grass covered ground. Still not facing the camera, the figure with nothing visible but a back of black cloth speaks.

"They say that there's a need to seize the day. And yet they say that life's a game after they take the board away. They give you a costume and outline to improvise in futility. Total Drama…allow me to show you the character of this totally dramatic persona."

With that, the caped figure turned around in a rapid motion and threw its arms into the air as it said loudly, "Voila!"

Now facing the camera, the figure's front was now visible to it, but little more was revealed. Most of the front was just as covered and coal-colored as the back by black rubber pants and the front of the overcoat. But what enticed the eyes the most was the face, or what should have been a face. Instead it was the smiling "Comedy" mask of classic theater. Though the expression on its face was unknowable, one could imagine a smile as wide as the face-covering one on the mask as the figure addressed the camera.

"Though I have many sides to my person, for convenience sake, I'll answer to Chris. And while I may just look like some weirdo wearing a bitchin' mask, there's a lot more to me. Your broadcasting of adolescent anguish will allow me to show that greatly. They don't see that. They call me crazy! But would a crazy person fire himself out a giant cannon because he thinks a little girl is the queen of the Moon people? Yes, yes he would!"

With that, the camera zoomed out and revealed that the large grey object behind Chris was in fact a giant cannon! The camera sees that there's a comically long fuse which Chris than attempts to light while struggling to get a lighter to maintain a flame. As Chris continually clicks the lighter to get it to work correctly, he talks to the camera once more.

"So, before I'm blasted into the sky on a few megaton fart of explosives and gunpowder, I can assure you that I'd be great for bringing in the ratings! Just like I'm about to bring the falling cheese after I reach the moon. Cheese! For everyone! Delicious yummy cheese!"

He finally gets the lighter to keep a flame for long enough for him to light the cannon's fuse. Struggling to keep back a laughter churning within him, Chris addresses the camera.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to penetrate the womb of God with my rubber pants! Pah-pa-rah…CHEESE! Ha, ha, ha!"

(Static)

* * *

**Kevin's eyes are wide in alarm, "Okay… that dude's batsshit crazy, and kinda scary…WHY IS HE WEARING A MASK?!" He asked before admitting, "Even though, I kind of like him."**

**Reeling from the shock of realizing that, Kevin composes again, "Ahem… onto the next one… Mathieu… please be normal…"**

9. Mathieu:

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Height: 5'4

Weight: 140 Pounds

Family: Mother, Father, Michael (Younger brother, 10), Lindsay (Younger Sister, 10), Buster (Younger brother, 7)

Label: The Magician

(Static)

The camera shows a fairly short white male with short dirty blonde hair. He is wearing a white-buttoned shirt with a black jacket over it. Looking down, one sees blue jeans and red shoes. But the most eye-catching feature is a black cape extending to his ankles that is kept together by a golden diamond shaped holder on his chest with a bright and shining ruby center.

"Greetings to the non-magical mortals in charge of Total Drama! I am Mathieu, illusionist extraordinary…in training. For your viewing pleasure, and to persuade you that I am more than worthy of competing on your show, allow me to show you a feat of magic started in ancient times as far back as when…"

"Come on Matt! Please just do the trick already!" A voice coming from someone many years younger than Mathieu interrupted in clear annoyance.

"Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore…woman with low self-esteem does for money…or candy. Now then, on to the illusion!"

As Mathieu starts to get ready, a song starts to play in the background. It's the song 'The Final Countdown', created in 1986 by the Swedish band 'Europe'. The illusion begins.

"You see, Total Drama, I, can be many things. There's no limit to what's up my sleeves. If need be, I could take up…" Mathieu before pulling a wooden club out of his sleeve, "…the club to strike my way to victory!

"Or I could take up…" The wooden club splits and reveals a bouquet of fake flowers, "… the flower to use peace and friendship to earn the ample bounty of cash you offer.

"While I do fancy the flower over the club, I promise you that no matter which path I chose, I will endure while everyone else…" There's a flame as a hidden lighter under his sleeve ignites the flowers into a flaming display, "…burns away!"

After looking at the burn of the bouquet in pride, Mathieu returns his focus to the camera with the most confident and boastful face he could muster.

"So let me be on Total Drama and I'll give you a magic show the likes of you could never…"

"Matt!" Michael, Mathieu's younger brother, said as he interrupted in alarm.

"Not now Michael, I'm about to make the final push. I'll give you a…" Mathieu said, ignoring the panic in his younger brother's voice. He wouldn't ignore what came next.

"But Matt! Your sleeve is on fire!"

"Wha…AHHH!" Mathieu said as he realized that his sleeve was in fact on fire and spreading over his shirt. He started screaming and running frantically around the room.

(Static)

**"HA-HA-AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-AH…" Kevin says, getting up off the ground where he was laughing, and wipes the tears from his eyes. "That guy's gonna be great for the ratings! He SO makes up for Brit, Nise, and… (Kevin shudders) Chris. Plus he's hilarious! Lovin' it!**

**"Any who, though they have a tough act to follow, the Next Newbies are Mary and Joseph!"**

* * *

10. Mary and 11. Joseph

Ages: 16 (Joseph) and 17 (Mary)

Genders: Male and Female

Height: 6'1 (Joseph) and 5'9 (Mary)

Weight: 165 pounds (Joseph), and 115 pounds

Family: Mother, father, Deceased older brother named Abel (Joseph), and Deceased Mother, Father, twin younger sisters Sarah and Sasha.

Label: The Religious Wackos

(Static)

"Hello everyone, my Name is Joseph!" Says a tall, thin, but still muscular Arabic boy with dark brown hair in a mullet, dark brown eyes, wearing a sky-blue T-shirt with a gold crucifix in the centre; and Khakis with brown sandals.

"And I am Mary!" Says a shorter, but still tall (for a girl), Arabic girl with long, flowing black hair with a white headband in it, with almond-shaped green eyes, and brown lips, wearing a red tube top, white jeans, and red sneakers, with gold crucifix necklace around her neck.

"We are Coptic Christians!" They both say in unison. "In our home country of Egypt, we were heavily prosecuted against by the Muslim Majority... my older brother Abel was killed for his faith." Joseph says with sadness in his voice. Mary begins to tear up "And I lost my mother" She says, doing all she can to keep herself from crying. "After that, our families fled to Canada, I was 11" Joseph says. "I was 12" says Mary.

"Despite everything, even though we're in such a great and free land such as Canada, Christians are still prosecuted against" Joseph says angrily, his fists clenched. Mary pats him on the shoulder to calm him, than she says, smiling warmly "That's why I'd like to use our winnings to start our own Church, where every Christian in this beautiful country will always be welcomed and loved".

"If we get on Total Drama, we will bring you something you have never seen before... true faith in what you believe in" Joseph says, with a determined smile on his face. "And with the lord on our side, there's no way we can lose!" Two younger girls who look like younger clones of Mary climb on her lap. "And these are my younger Twin Sisters, Sarah and Sasha" Mary says, smiling very warmly.

"If you win, will we be able to see mother again?" Sarah asks. Mary begins to cry. "Excuse me, could you turn off the camera father?" The camcorder goes to black as Joseph is trying to comfort Mary.

(Static)

**"Okay, that is some sad shit right there, but "Sniff"… so inspiring! I'm rooting for you guys!" Kevin says with tears in his eyes before adding, "Though I must stress that most Muslims are not such murderous A-holes!"**

* * *

**"Next up is… Giavanna!**"

12. Giavanna

Age: 18

Gender: Female

Height: 6'9

Weight: 235 pounds

Family: Dad, Mom, Elijah (Little Brother)

Label: The Tall Bombshell

(Static)

At first just a green tank top and large breasts are seen while a sweet sounding female voice is heard saying, "Come on you stupid damn camcorder, just go a little higher..." This is followed by the sound of a creak…followed by the sound of a loud snapping! After the snapping we see a girl's face, round with entrancing emerald eyes, long fire red hair, full red lips, and gold hoop earrings.

"Well it looks like I broke the tripod. Anyways, Hi Total Drama! I'm Giavanna. And I'm obviously really, really tall... like 6 foot 9 tall." She says with a noticeable sigh.

Her face then brightens with a smile as she to talk to the camera showing her face, "But that is not my only defining trait... I am also an award-winning amateur poet..." She turns the camera around so the cam sees all her Poetry awards and medals. After lingering on them for a second or two, the camera returns to her face.

"... I'm the Star player on my School's Basketball team, Captain of the track team, and hold the all-time records for hurdles and high jump." The camera first pans downwards for a sec to reveal that she's wearing navy-blue yoga pants with pockets, and pink and white track shoes before panning upward to reveal her MANY sports related trophies, medals, and awards.

Once again returning to her, Giavanna grins with pride as she adds, "Plus, I've already gotten applications from Yale, Princeton, Boston College, Queen's University, McGill University, and the University of Montreal!"

"I've been a HUGE Total Drama fan since it first debuted. I love Cody, Gwen, Dawn, and especially NOAH, EEEEEEE!" Gia suddenly squealed in fangirldom before happily exclaiming, "He's just so cute, smart, and funny... I just wanna hug him like the adorable little smartass teddy bear he is!"

"Hey sis..." Someone says off-camera. Suddenly she catches a basketball with one hand and starts smirking as the person off-camera says, "Wanna play some B-Ball, one on one?"

"You know I almost always beat you right?" Gia replies.

"But when I do, the look on your face is priceless!"

"Alright, I just have to finish this up, then I'll come down" Gia replies before returning her attention to the camera in her other hand, "That was my little brother Elijah, he's very competitive... see ya guys, I have to kick my brother's butt again"

Gia puts down the camcorder as she spins the basketball on her finger before turns it off.

(Static)

**"WOW… tall, red hot, strong AND smart… it will be a pleasure to meet her, and I'd have no problems with her hugging me…" Kevin says, with a pervy look on his face. He only then sees the camera, "AHEM! Anyway… next contestant is… yet another freak show, sigh… Nanon."**

* * *

13. Nanon

Age: 17

Gender: Female

Height: 4'9

Weight: 110 Pounds

Family: Mother, Father, Twin sister

Label: The One Armed Girl

(Static)

The camera shows a teenage girl standing next to a pole whose top is far out of sight. The girl is pretty short, not even five feet tall. She is very lean and in excellent physical shape. Her hair is a long, black, and tied into a long ponytail. Her skin is a very dark tan and her facial features are similar to those of people of Mediterranean descent. Her legs are extremely muscular and yet very smooth.

She is wearing a light bluish-green all body spandex bodysuit that leaves her legs and left arm totally exposed. On her left wrist is a silver bracelet with gold star symbol. Around her neck is a rabbit's foot on a small chain.

But none of these are the features that attract attention the most. That honor belongs to the fact that she has no right arm, not even a little stump of a limb!

"Hi. My name is Nanon." The girl began in a cheerful manner before her voice became noticeably less upbeat and even a tad annoyed, "Let me answer your first question. Yes, I have no right arm. I haven't had one since birth."

But the initial cheerful tone in her voice returned as she continued her audition tape, "But now let me answer your next question. I should be on Total Drama because I am, despite what some would call a handicap, extremely capable. Allow me to demonstrate."

The camera then moves away from the girl and focuses on the top of the pole, there's a golden medal attached to it by a thick blue thread. The camera returns to the short girl.

"As you can see, there is a medal on the top of that pole. It is ten feet off of the ground, a little more than double my height. One second."

With that, Nanon pushed herself off the ground and leapt into the air so fast that the camera barely catches it! After about five seconds, she comes crashing down back to the same exact spot she was when the audition tape started. She is wearing the golden medal around her neck and shown a face that indicates that the feat just shown speaks for itself.

(Static)

**"First Chris… and now this chick?! Where are you finding these people?! Are we searching mental asylums and circuses for contestants now?! Kevin loudly asks the camera incredulously before adding, "Anyway… the next contestant is Jay"**

* * *

14. Jay

Age: 18

Height: 5'11

Weight: 145 Pounds

Family: Mom, Dad, Younger Sister

Label: The Puppetmaster

(Static)

A guy with dark brown hair arranged in a Mohawk and dark brown eyes who is dressed in a army green T-shirt, a grey vest, black jeans, and tan colored high tops appears on screen, sitting on his bed.

"Camera on... great. Hey dudes, names' Jay... What are my best traits? There are so many" Jay says, smiling arrogantly. "Well, I'm an aspiring singer-songwriter, and I've been a MASSIVE TD fanboy since forever My favorite contestants of All-time are Alejandro and Scott... they're AWESOME and so much more relatable than most of those losers... they're my heroes!

"Like them, I'm a master at reading body language, charismatic when I want to be, and will do ANYTHING to win, and trust me, I will WIN! Why? Because my family deserves a better life than they have now, especially Mom..."

He holds up a picture of his mom, and hugs it and starts tearing up a little as he says, "Mom, I'm so gonna win this for you..." before he suddenly changes his tune but not so much that the previous one feels insincere as he says, "But I'm so much more than a lame-ass momma's boy, trust me... as long as I'm around, Total Drama will NEVER be boring!"

As he stares into the camera smiling evilly he says, "Jay, signing off."

(Static)

* * *

**"OOOHHH… this dude looks like trouble… but trouble equals ratings!" Kevin says before adding, "Next up is…Ari!**"

15. Ari

Age: 18

Gender: ?

Height: 5'6

Weight: 130 Pounds

Family: Mother, Father,

Label: The Ninja

(Static)

There is total darkness without any coloring of any kind and not definable outlines. When all of a sudden, directly in front of the camera, two bright electric blue eyes appear!

Then a light goes on, revealing a person who aside from their electric blue eyes, a small black space in between those eyes that indicates black skin, and a slightly shorter height has features unknowable because they are wearing the stereotypical all-black ninja outfit.

With the figure not saying a word, the camera moves to reveal a long hallway with four vases with a Japanese design to them. The Ninja then walks into the edge of the camera.

Keeping their chosen code of silence, the Ninja pulls out some shuriken, metal throwing stars. After looking at the vases, they are unleashed at the vase on the left, destroying it!

Then, the silent figure dressed like the shadows pulled out a Kusarigama, a sickle and chain. Once the sickle was being spun on the chain, the Ninja charged the vases. After what appeared to be several strikes at thin air, the Kusarigama was withdrawn. Nothing happened for a few seconds. However the vase on the right suddenly shattered into dozens of tiny pieces!

The instant after the right vase was smashed rings of fire developed around remaining two vases. It is also noticed that there are two trails of gunpowder leading to the Ninja.

Coming closer to the camera, the Ninja displayed a written message that said:

_'The last two vases are filled with gunpowder. I will be lighting the trails of gunpowder before charging them. I will strike each vase with one of my feet. My timing must be precise. If I strike them a second too early, the results will be unimpressive. If I strike them a second too late, I'll be directly exposed to a life-threatening explosion. But, if I hit the vase so it starts to break the second that the flame from the gunpowder trail reaches it, it will create an impressive explosion increased by the flaming rings while also providing enough push for me to jump backwards away from the force of the explosion.'_

Once the message was removed from sight, the Ninja lit the two trails of gunpowder at the same time with a lighter in each hand before spiriting towards the vases! Almost near them, the Ninja leapt into the air and forced a foot onto each surface of Japanese design!

**KAABOOOOOOMM!**

The two remaining vases exploded in an impressive sight as the two flaming loops created a large fireball out of the exposed gunpowder! But the Ninja was nowhere to be seen…

Until it handed right in front of the camera…completely unharmed!

With the fiery glow of the destroyed vases behind it, the Ninja just looks at the camera.

(Static)

**Kevin smiles impressed as he says, "Ok, now that was EPIC! I can't tell if Ari is a guy or a girl though, got any info on who this is?" A stagehand shakes his head "no".**

**"REALLY?! So we have a silent mystery Ninja contestant… that is gonna really spike the ratings… AWESOMENESS DUDES!" Kevin exclaims grinning before switching over to the next contestant to be revealed, "Next is Solita!"**

* * *

16. Solita

Age: 17

Gender: Female

Height: 5'2

Weight: 105 pounds

Family: Unknown

Label: The Orphan

(Static)

A shorter aboriginal girl with short black hair, round onyx eyes, dressed in a purple and violet striped sweater, torn acid-washed jeans with a faded brown belt with a slightly tarnished brass belt buckle, and black and white striped sneakers appears on screen.

"Hi Guys... I'm Solita" She says, smiling nervously, "I may not look it right now... but I can be a fierce competitor, I'm determined, and very strong willed."

"I'm much stronger than I look, so watch out! I'll be there to knock out as many people as possible on the way to the finish! In fact I'LL BRING YOU GUYS THE MOST DRAMA EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW!" She exclaims with excitement.

She smiles, nodding her head in thought, "That actually sounded pretty damn good."

(Static)

**"The most Drama?" Kevin asks curiously. "Well, you have some pretty high standards to beat, I wish you luck my teenage friend devoid of parents. Now then, we have a movie buff in the house! Wonder if he likes any of my movies… here's Carlyle everyone!"**

* * *

17. Carlyle

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Height: 6'0

Weight: 260 Pounds

Family: Mother, Father, Younger brother

Label: The Cinefile

(Static)

The camera reveals a teenage boy who's on the taller and fatter side sitting at a desk. Both his skin and eyes under glasses are black. His hair, both on his head and on his face is brown. The hair on his head is starting to slightly thin on his head leaving the impression of the starting of baldness. While his facial hair is both a thick but short beard that fully covers his chin line and two lengths of hair from his beard that form an almost mustache but each end stops under his nose. There is a very small gold earring on his right ear. As far as clothes, he's wearing a brown jacket, a yellow t-shirt that is visible underneath the jacket, blue jeans, and most oddly of all a sloppy dark red tie that's not fully tied.

Before speaking to the camera, which seems to be a webcam, we see an expression of confidence and natural ease, almost as if he's been speaking into a camera for years.

"Hello. I'm Carlyle Coleman. I love and remember movies, even the ones no one else does! As my video reviews and podcasts for the website 'Knocked Over ' will show, I have a borderline archival knowledge of movies. Movies of pretty much every genre, language, style and time period, from the 1915 ground-breaking but horribly racist "The Birth of a Nation" to the recent genre shattering greatness of "The Dark Knight"."

Taking a moment's pause, with an expression of awe over his face, Carlyle continues.

"Anyway, I should be on Total Drama because I would be able to bring in the ratings of a fair portion of the 46,000 registered members of 'Knocked Over '. Also know that I'm not the cliché cinema snob or a critic of nostalgia. And I know better than to give into greed. After all, just like "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" shows us, greed only leads to one final fate…" After taking a two second pause for dramatic effect, Carlyle explained what this final fate was, "…being killed behind a conveniently placed donkey obscuring your death to the camera by some awesome but slightly stereotypical Mexican bandits!"

Despite the lusciousness of that that statement, Carlyle looks into the camera with an expression indicating that he believes it to be very wise words indeed!

(Static)

**"Aww… he didn't mention any of my movies, oh well" Kevin says with a shrug and a smile before saying, "And now we come to our last new contestant… Seems we got a poet on our hands... Erebus everybody!"**

* * *

18. : Erebus  
Age: 18  
Gender: Male  
Height: 6'2  
Weight: 280 Pounds  
Family: Mother, Father  
Label: The Machiavellian Poet

(Static)

A camera reveals a room with the décor of the home of a nineteenth century aristocrat. There are two figures right in front of its field of vision. The first is a medieval suit of armor and under most circumstances that would be the one to attract the most attention. But this wasn't most circumstances so that honor belonged to the second figure.

The second is a tall teenage male whose appearance is as beautiful as it is bizarre. Firstly there were the features of his face. Though most striking of these were his bright amber eyes, the other features like his white skin and his smooth, finely combed chestnut hair were just as impressive. Most of the bizarre with the beauty came from his clothes. His broad and muscular upper body was covered by a long black coat with a white starched collar, a grey waistcoat, and cravat with a pattern of purple and orange stripes. The lower half of his body displayed black trousers with the chain of a gold chain watch coming from the trousers' right pocket and black shoes. But the oddest features of his dress were a long opera cape with an outer layer pure black and the inner layer bright red and a cane with a handle craved with detail into the head of a raven with small rubies for the eyes.

Whatever other minor details of body or dress were shown was quickly overwhelmed by a face and muscular build that was on par with, if not greater than, Justin and Alejandro. He had the overall demeanor of a refined English gentleman, and this notion was reinforced when he began speaking with an English accent that could be sexy or scary depending on what effect was desired.

"Hello Total Drama, vile programming based on the pain of teenagers and lack of trust. For your contemptible viewing pleasure, I present myself, with the name of Erebus!

"I've watched your show and been appalled by Chris, an idiot full of hollow thunder signifying nothing but vanity and hair gel. With the later being a better companion when it ignites in the fires of Hell.

"The same sentiment extends to Chef, a disgruntled laborer and deprived lackey who cannot cook. His efforts in the kitchen have all the success of a worm impaled on a hook.

"You must be asking, 'Why is he auditioning if his opinion of us is so abysmally low?' That's because your competition offers a chance like few others for my intellect to glow.

"You also might fancy me as a poetry writing pansy so you think I'm soiling myself in fear-filled apprehension? To that silly notion, I fart in your general direction!"

After that, the teenager speaking in rhyme paused for the first time and grabbed his cane's raven head shaped handle. Pulling on it revealed that the majority of the cane's length concealed a sword! With the blade glistening, Erebus began his final words.

"My bodily form and rapier wit may ooze sophistication and the highest standards of class. But I will not hesitate for one second to break my cane off in a motherfucker's ass!"

With that and a single swift moment of the blade while not taking his amber eyes off of the camera, the head of the medieval suit of armor was removed from the shoulders of similar steel and rolled off-screen with a loud clang. Erebus continued to simply stare into the camera; clearly feeling his final point was made without words.

(Static)

* * *

**"Holy SHIT and what a poet we ended up with... I really like this... THE RATINGS ARE GONNA EXPLODE THIS YEAR!" Kevin says with crazed excitement dripping from his voice.**

The widescreen goes up into the ceiling again as Kevin announces, "These 18 brand new contestants will be facing off against the best and brightest Total Drama has to offer, the newbies will be playing with and against…

"Harold… understandable." Kevin says.

"Jo… they're gonna be in trouble there." Kevin says chuckling.

"Cody, the popular choice."

"Oh god… Anne Maria… I hate that b***h too, and she's gonna be hitting on me the whole time, I know it!" Kevin groans.

"Leshawna… I always did like her." Kevin says smiling warmly.

"STACI?! FUCK!" Kevin yells angry.

"Noah…awesome."

"Dawn… gotta love the moonchild… you'd have to be heartless not to" Kevin says.

"Izzy… great… now I have to deal her, Chris AND Nanon... why can't we have NORMAL people?" Kevin asks increduously.

"Owen, the fartmachine… haven't they got tired of him yet?" Kevin asks confused.

"Justin, eh he brings in the ratings, I guess." Kevin says, shrugging.

"Katie… WONDERFULL… if Sadie's on here I swear…SADIE?! FUCK, FUCK, MOTHERFUCKER! I hope one of them gets eliminated early. I don't know how much of their squealing I can possibly take!" Kevin says, shaking his head.

"DJ… I hope he's over that whining phase." Kevin observes.

"Alejandro… I hate this dude… gives Spaniards everywhere a bad name…" Kevin says with distain.

"Duncan… seriously?! Chris may have liked him, but I don't! Why do we keep on giving this Douche the spotlight?!" Kevin exclaims angrily.

"And…SCOTT?! YOU BROUGHT BACK THE WHITE TRASH REDNECK?! This is Bullshit!" Kevin screams angrily.

He composes himself again to say, "Don't worry if your favourite original contestant wasn't listed. There is FAR MORE to this season than any of you could know! Be assured that just about every contestant who's ever been on Total Drama will get there shot at the prize.

"But for now, that's the starting roster… 34 contestants… 2 million dollars on the line… who will win? Find out this season on **Total, Drama, What is real?**" Kevin exclaims as the title is lit up on the wall behind him.

"I'm your host Kevin Rawlings everyone… goodnight!"

**This is made in partnership with my friends Rufus T. Serenity and CRGGL. **

**Total Drama and all its characters are property of Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network.**

**Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me, Giavanna, Erebus, Carlyle, Nanon and Mathieu belong to Rufus, and finally everyone else and the basic story belong to CRGGL.**

**Please read, review, and spread the word!**


	2. What is Real? Episode 2 19 new faces!

**Total Drama: What is Real? Episode 2 (Part 1): Reunions and Introductions**

* * *

"Hey all you guys and gals out there, Kevin Rawlings is in the house!" Kevin exclaims happily.

"This Season, we are back on the Total Drama Action film set, where our contestants will be competing for 2 MILLION DOLLLLAARRS! Welcome to… Total, Drama, WHAT IS REAL?" Kevin added with exclamation as the camera again pans out over the whole set. "And here come all our 1st batch of competitors now, all the classic contestants so far…"

A bus pulls up carrying all the veteran contestants, the door opens…Owen practically bursts out of the bus.

"And here's Owen everyone!" Kevin exclaims.

"Oh god, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M BACK! THIS IS AWESOME!" Owen yells in excitement.

"Me neither." Kevin says under his breath.

"So you're the new host? WOW… such a big celebrity… other than the fact you're a washed-up druggie has-been at 25…" Duncan says smiling viciously as he exited the bus behind Owen.

Kevin narrows his eyes, walks up to Duncan and gets right in his face.

"You listen up, and you listen good punk! Chris may have liked and put up with your bullshit, but this show is under new management…MINE!" Kevin yells at the punk before adding in little more than a venom filled whisper, "I may not be allowed to let my personal feelings towards the contestants affect my judgement to the point that I either help them or target them but I still have them. And just so your clear, my personal feelings towards you are that I hate your guts. So you'd better watch your step and keep little remarks like that to a minimum. Otherwise you'll be in for some serious pain. Got it, DUNCAN?!"

Duncan gets up and is going to say something but then he realizes that since Kevin is the host this is a battle he could not hope to win. So, with reluctance he holds his tongue and walks off muttering angrily to himself.

"Finally glad to see a host who doesn't put up with Duncan's crap, and I'm glad it's you Kevin." Harold says, smiling. He had seen the whole episode from the windows and was beyond pleased.

"Harold MacGrady! Awesome to see you again my man! How are things? And how are Trent, Cody and Justin?" Kevin says, shaking his hand with a genuine smile on his face.

"Good Kevin. I'm starting my own album after this season is over in fact. I don't know about Trent, it's been **a few months** since I've heard from him. As for Cody and Justin, you can ask them now." Harold says, pointing to both of them as they were exiting the bus.

"Cody, the Codemeister! How's it going dude?" Kevin asks Cody.

"Not bad, not bad… those rabid fangirls can be very hard to deal with sometimes though." Cody says, giving Kevin a fist bump.

"True dat, man, true dat… Justin! How's my favourite male model and singer?" Kevin asks, shaking the model's hand.

"Pretty good. I'm glad you're hosting Kevin… much better than Chris. And I gotta say, for someone just out of rehab, you look pretty good."

Kevin runs his fingers through his spiked blonde hair, and gives Justin a wink, saying, "I try", while grinning ear to ear.

But Kevin's grinning was stopped as there was some commotion coming from the direction of the bus. It was the next contestant trying to get off of the bus, the key word being trying. While for most this would be a simple task, most were not in a neck brace with both his right arm and right leg in a cast. He almost had succeeded when he tripped off the bus and landed flat on his face. This would have produced at least a twinge of sympathy from the host and other five contestants…if it weren't for the person that was so injured and struggling.

"Scott everybody!" Kevin exclaims.

"Ugh… could someone help me up? I think my nose is bleeding…" Scott asks.

Kevin ignores him as the next contestant comes off the bus…Anne Maria!

"Jersey Girl… help me." Scott says to her.

She grimaces, spits on him, and kicks Scott viciously to the side in the stomach, "Why, so you can leave me behind to be kidnaped by Freakzekiel again?"

"There was nothing I could do damn it! None of us knew where you were! How was I supposed to know?!" Scott yells.

"Just an excuse you pathetic piece of white trash!" Anne replies.

"OMG its Kev Rawlings! I have your EX-calibre albums!" Anne squeals in excitement, leaving Scott on the ground, whimpering, "Someone please help me…PLEASE, I can't get up…" But none of the contestants even make a move to help him. Duncan and Anne Maria even laugh.

FINALLY, Kevin walks over and helps him up. "Just letting you know… I'm not doing this because I want to, but because I'm contractually obligated."

"I'll take what I can get." Scott replies, the blood dripping from his nose and mouth onto his shirt.

"Ok, damn… Scott took up too much screen time; everyone's come off the bus already… Staci, Leshawna, Katie, Sadie, Noah, Jo, DJ, Dawn, and Izzy and Alejandro guys." Kevin says with slight disappointment in his voice.

Despite being denied a proper introduction, all of those listed off by the new host were exactly as their fan remembered them…except for Alejandro. The Latino mastermind was still horribly damaged from his dip in lava at the finale of Total Drama World Tour, though he wasn't in a lame Darth Vader rip-off robot body anymore. Instead, he was in a wheelchair with the majority of his body aside his face completely covered by bandages and braces of different kinds.

Scott walks over to the original cast, and spits down at their feet, saying, "I fucking hate you all!" even as his nose still bleeds.

"The feeling's mutual." Jo replies.

Scott walks over to a bench separate from the rest of the cast, and starts to cry again.

"We still have the make-up confessional if you want to use it. I recommend that everyone, in particular those who were denied a proper introduction thanks to Scott, record their thoughts. Let the good viewers know your thoughts and the challenges that you think you will face this time." Kevin says.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I'm back ya'll!" Leshawna shouts at the camera. "And I'm ready to win this thing once and for all! I feel like I have a real shot, I won't be fallin' for any tricks like those Al used last time. I don't think there will be too much competition from the original contestants. The only major players that I can see are Duncan, that Jo girl, my sugar baby Harold and maybe DJ and Noah. Maybe the newbies that were hinted at to us on the bus will be more of a challenge though?"

(Static)

"My first objective? Get Duncan and Alejandro out of this game as soon as possible! Duncan is a lying, cheating, sadistic dirtbag who doesn't deserve to be here, and Alejandro…" Harold says clearly with anger but he then almost growls furiously, "GOSH! He used my own code of honour to take me out! That was a low blow, and he will pay the price. Mark my words!"

(Static)

"Well, my big mouth screwed me up big-time last time… just keep it shut and concentrate on the game, and I'll be fine. Just don't mention things like my great, great, great…" Staci says, not realizing that she was undermining her own efforts to not repeat the same mistake as before.

(Static)

"I cannot believe I got dragged onto this show again. And this season looks like it will likely be the worst one yet! I'm stuck with the Anti-me, the punk, a very broken Aledrago, a Hippie girl, and one consistently pissed off Jockette…" Noah says with a dismissive roll of the eyes.

"And those are just the ones that are bad enough or wired enough that are worth mentioning. So there's not much competition here. While pretty much my only "friends" on this show aside from Owen, Izzy and Cody are the only real threats that I see among us. That's it. And I sincerely doubt that any of the noobs will be much better…or be of any interest to me in anyway" Noah says, his trademark cynical nature on full display for the countless viewers watching the show.

(Static)

"Well, I'm back on the show… with the curse long gone. I'm gonna win this time! Nice guys do finish first! Owen proved it; Cam proved it again last year. Now it's my turn!" DJ says happily.

(Static)

"What a sad, pathetic bunch of losers, pussies, dumbasses, and weaklings. Izzy's too much of a nut to really make it far, Staci's sure to get herself eliminated first again. Scott and Al are way too beat up and broken to really represent much of a threat anymore, I wouldn't really be surprised if they get pulled out due to the poor shape their in. Cody and Justin making it as far as they did WERE flukes. Without Sierra and any dumb girls to fall back on, they will fall pretty quickly I think. The others aren't even worth mentioning. Aside from Duncan and possibly Leshawna, this will be a cakewalk for me. The only real variables are the unseen contestants. Maybe I'll get some actual competition from the new meat? Probably not though." Jo says in a very nasty tone before laughing at the likely lack of challenge from the unrevealed contestants.

(Static)

"They'll all regret laughing at me; and regret leaving me on that curb. THEY'LL ALL PAY! After I'm done… MY NAME WILL BE BURNED INTO THEIR BRAINS!" Scott shouts.

(Static)

"No Beth? No Lindsay? No problems… I see two major improvements over pig-girl and Ms. Airhead, smarter and stronger than both of them combined and ripe for the picking. Their names are Jo and Anne Maria. Once they fall for my undeniable charms, I so got this in the bag…" Justin says with a confident smile before laughing manically.

(Static)

"I wish Heather was here…" Alejandro says from his wheelchair with what sounds like longing until he reveal his true feelings with, "…so I could eliminate her first! It's because of that Bruja (witch) that I'm stuck in this thing… oh well; causing havoc on everyone else will have to do."

(Static)

"OF COURSE the new host has to know Dork, Geek, and the She-Male… and hates me! This puts me at a major disadvantage!" Duncan states with a face fully displaying fury at his situation.

(Static)

"I'm back bitches! And this time… NOTHING is getting between that sweet, delicious cash and me!" Anna Maria says with self-confidence and greed brimming in her heavily accented voice.

(Static)

"I'm here to prove I can win…or least makes it pretty far on my own. I DO NOT need Sierra's help to win! I've survived a freakin' bear attack and wild dingos! I can handle this, no problem!" Cody says, clearly eager to disprove the notion that he only got far in TDWT because of Sierra.

(Static)

" OMG! I can't believe I'm back on the show! Finally, Sadie and I get our second chance to win this thing! Only took another 3 seasons…" Katie says with her trademark bursting happiness.

(Static)

"I can't believe we're back on the show! I've been looking forward to this… finally a chance to get revenge on Justin for leaving us at that cave! And if Katie or I win, we can open our own Fashion label… EEEEEEE!" Sadie says with just as much passion in her voice as Katie's.

(Static)

"Oh man I'm so stoked! This maybe my final kick at the can, so I gotta take advantage of it!" Owen exclaims to the camera.

(Static)

"Izzy is so excited to be back on the show! This time Izzy's going to the top, just like Izzy does when she tie her ankles together and goes up a down escalator! WHOO!" Izzy says happily.

(Static)

"I can't say I'm exactly thrilled to say I'm back on Total Drama, but at least we have a new host not named Chris. And I'm determined to win that 2 million dollars for…" Dawn says before being interrupted by a saddened sniffle, "…all those poor creatures on Wakanawa! I sincerely hope none of these new contestants are as bad as Scott, or this could be a very short season for me."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Greeting contestants! Whether you've been deemed heroes or villains by the fans, whether you've been seen on every season of the show or just one, you are here to compete for TWO…MILLION…DOLLARS!

"And not only is our reward greater this time, but the season as a whole is the biggest one yet!" Kevin proclaimed to the contestants who had already been on this show and knew the drill.

"Yeah, yeah…we've heard this before. The fact that were back at the same abandoned film studio that you used in Action doesn't exactly inspire much faith in those old, repeated words." Noah said, his sarcastic wit on full display.

"Very perceptive Noah. It's no wonder you're a fan favourite with that wit of yours. Allow me to address your points. Firstly, while we are at the same location as Total Drama Action, things will be happening very differently. Secondly, this season will have the most contestants of any season! While more will be added later on, right now that includes eighteen new contestants!"

"Yay… more people to join us in our mutual suffering" Noah drawled in his usual tone.

"And now that all of the returning original contestants have been introduced, let's begin bringing in those eighteen brand spanking new contestants!" Kevin happily explained to the camera.

Unbeknownst to the original contestants assembled, a second bus carrying (most) of the new ones had parked not too far from where they were and the first of the new people was making her way towards them. This was in part because one of them raised his is voice in angered alarm.

"What! You mean that's all of the first time people that there are going to be!" Duncan loudly shouted.

Most of the original contestants were at a loss as to why Duncan was reacting so strongly to this. One of the few who weren't at a loss, Noah, spoke out loud for no one the reason as a rhetorical question.

"Aw…Duncan upset that he doesn't have Gwen's lips to kiss or Courtney's heart to break?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY GEEK!?" Duncan angrily roared, as he got right in front of Noah and lifted the smaller bookworm by his sweater's collar into the air. His normally indifferent eyes now as wide as dinner plates and his legs frantically kicking the air, Noah found himself more frightened than ever before as he looked into almost monstrous eyes.

Some of those present might have tried to help Noah but the first of the new contestants was now becoming visible as she was approaching where all of them were assembled. Everyone except for Noah and Duncan, each too entranced by the emotions of the other, had turned to face the teenage female coming closer with every step. Almost every set of eyes was staring at her in wonder. For some this was because of her appearance: her amazing figure, following fiery red hair, enchanting emerald eyes, and impressive chest made this very understandable. For others this was because of another, more rare, reason.

This more rare reason was hinted at as a massive shadow started covering Noah and Duncan. Neither of the teenage boy noticed that the sun seemed to be blocked out. In particular Duncan was too distracted to notice, he was experiencing something that had been missing for so long.

Gwen had been trying (to Duncan's great annoyance) to get him to stop bullying nerds. He truly hated that, especially since so many of them, like Noah here, were asking for it. But seeing the fear in Noah's eyes and feeling the rush of happiness under his skin had confirmed it was right and proper to Duncan that Noah should be his human prey.

Smiling sadistically for feeling this rush for the first time in months, Duncan threatened Noah by saying as darkly as possible, "You know Bookworm, I seem to remember offering you a lip piercing like mine? But I think I'm going to give a lot than just that."

With that, Duncan, now holding Noah by his collar with only one hand, turned the other into a fist. He was so ready to beat this pompous pipsqueak within an inch of his about to be violently ended short life! But then…a massive object fell onto Duncan's shoulder!

Shocked at this, Duncan turned his head to the right and saw that it was a hand, a hand that though somewhat slender was massive. Though just resting on his shoulder, Duncan could tell that there was so much power there that would not need much to unleash it. Equally shocking to Duncan (and Noah), it was a hand that had bright red fingernails.

Both boys were too focused on the hand to pay attention to the person attached to it until a voice, both full of surface level sweetness but churning anger just beneath that surface, asked, "Is there a problem here?"

Shaken out of his stupor by this voice, Duncan regained his bearings…and his pride. There was no way that he would allow himself to be chased away by her, no matter how freakishly large her man-hands were!

"What if there is man-ha…" Duncan began to say as full of bravado as he could as he turned his head to stare this girl in the eyes. He had stopped when he didn't see any eyes. Instead all Duncan had seen was the bright light green fabric of a teenage girl's tank top. Slowly craning his head upward in disbelief, Duncan believed his eyes less and less as they reached the top of this figure. At the top, he saw a face normally full of positive emotions and self-doubt that showed restrained but unquestionably fierce wrath for him.

Had Duncan not been so surprised by her size or frightened by both her eyes staring daggers and the powerful hand on his shoulder, he would have tried to hit on this girl. But both of those factors were so. Though Duncan wasn't as smart as Noah, he had enough common sense to know that picking a fight with this girl was one he could never win.

So with great reluctance overpowered by greater intimidation, Duncan dropped Noah. As his green Mohawk appeared to be a shark's fin cutting through the sea of the crowd, the same hand that had been on Duncan's shoulder was now helping Noah get on his feet.

After dusting himself off, Noah had just stared at the gigantic young woman before him. Similar to Duncan, he could not believe what he was seeing but not for the same reasons. While he too was shocked by her height, what had amazing him more were her looks and actions. The fact that her features were so large yet so similar in portion and appearance to a supermodel blew even his advanced mind. But even more amazing than that was what she just did. She had saved him; Duncan might have beaten him into dust otherwise! Why would she do that for someone she had never meant before? He could figure that out later. Right now, Noah knew what he had to do…something he normally hated doing.

With a voice still reeling from fear and shock but flowing with gratefulness Noah simply said, "Thank you."

For some reason, those two words had changed this girl's face. Whereas moments ago her expression was one of absolute wrath and anger, now it was gushing sweetness. With a massive smile and eyes twinkling, the gorgeous giant girl replied, "Your welcome."

It was then that Noah noticed some bright red on this girl's cheeks. Why was there red?

Giavanna knew all too well why there was red on her face and she hoped he hadn't noticed. Noah was even cuter in person! It took all of her restraint to not reach out and press his smaller body against hers. The last thing she wanted was to be another Sierra.

Though it was only for a second or two, it felt like the two were stared at each other for an eternity. Neither party was complaining about this and would have kept it up but…

"My, my Giavanna. I knew you'd get a reaction from the original contestants but not like this. Hopefully, the impression you left on them was one for the better, yes?" Kevin asked with a smirk, knowing more than most why Giavanna had just saved little Noah.

"Um…Oh yes, Kevin…" Giavanna said, being snapped out of her trace by his words. Taking one last look at Noah before heading towards the others, she smiled as she added, "…hopefully."

The two then walked towards the other revealed contestants and stood near each other. Every now and then each would sneak glances at the other. Noah wasn't fully sure why. Giavanna didn't have a doubt in her mind as to why.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I… um, have no idea what to make of this Giavanna girl but…" Noah starts to say before blushing and scurrying out of the Confessional.

(Static)

The Tall Bombshell is living up to her label as her head is above the camera's sight and her large breasts were occupying the space that would normally be reserved for the person's head. Realizing this, Giavanna lowers her head and the camera reveals an expression of awe on her.

"Oh wow… my first Total Drama Confessional! Ahem!" Giavanna says before she gets a slight blush on her face, "Anyways, I hope I made the right impression on Noah…I really do."

Then her facial expression changes to a very devious smile, "I made the impression I wanted to make on Duncan though. He better not even think of bullying Noah while I'm around."

(Static)

"Just you wait dorks! Just you wait…" Duncan says as he cracks his knuckles and laughs. "When there's no one to cover your asses, I'll be there…"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL **

* * *

The next two contestants were making there way towards the revealed contestants. As they did, they were talking to each. As they were walking and talking, the others took a look at them.

One of them, who was slightly taller than the other, has almond-shaped black eyes and is wearing an orange T-Shirt, blue jeans, and yellow sneakers. The other had dark chocolate brown hair in a Mohawk arranged in a shark-teeth pattern with dark sunglasses over his dark brown eyes who is wearing an army-green T-shirt, grey vest, black jeans, light-brown coloured high-top sneakers, and a sliver crucifix around his neck.

"So you like Shinedown, Linkin Park, AND Three days Grace? Awesome man!" The black haired dude in the orange T-shirt says.

"Yeah, but 3 Doors Down is the SHIT!" The Mohawked boy exclaims.

"True enough man. My name's Damian, by the way." The black-haired, orange T-shirt guy says.

"Mine's Jay, it's a pleasure to meet you Damian." The Mohawked dude replies

They spot the host, and the Mohawked kid, Jay, runs over to him immediately as he says, "Holy Shit, Kevin Rawlings?! You're hosting the show now?"

"Yep, you must be Jay, huh?"

"Ayup, that's me." Jay replies.

"And you must be Damian." Kevin says to the other revealed teenager after shaking Jay's hand.

"Dude! I sampled your new album, and it's pretty awesome if I do say so myself." Damian says.

"Indeed it is and…" Kevin says with a grin as he spontaneously pulls his new album out of the back of his pants, "…my new album, _"Yellow Lightning"_, is now in in stores and in I-tunes dudes!"

Jay gives Kevin an odd look. Noticing this, the host says, "What? I gotta get the word out somehow."

"Have you ever heard of commercials? I heard they're all the rage these days." Jay says deadpanly, eliciting a laugh or two from people nearby.

"Hey, why is Scott sitting alone on that Bench… and why is his nose bleeding?!" Jay asks incredulously as he notices the ginger teenager in isolation and several types of body casts.

"Oh, he tripped on the bus steps, and no one likes him, so I had to help him up. But it's Scott we're talking about here… who cares?**"** Kevin asks.

Jay glares at Kevin as he says with noteworthy fury, "I do… no one deserves what he went through… **NOBODY!" **That last part being yelled caught everyone's attention, including Scott's. This only increased when both Jay and Damian walked over to Scott, and sat beside him.

"Hey, my name's Jay." Jay says, pulling off his sunglasses to shake Scott's hand.

"And I'm Damian." Damian says as he shakes Scott's hand.

"Good to meet you guys. Nice to know SOMEONE gives an shit about me here." Scott replies to both of them.

"Dude, I'm you're biggest fan! I even started an online fundraising petition for you!" Jay says smiling.

"**YOU **did that?" Scott asks in shock, and then hugs him as hard as he can with his one good arm as he added with tears running down his face. "Thank you! If it wasn't for you and Cameron, I would still be in that trauma chair!"

"Whoa man, its okay dude! It's no problem." Jay said in shock before turning to another as he said, "I raised money for Al too."

"So you're the one who raised $200,000 for me? Thank you mi amigo (my friend)." Al says as he rolled himself over to Jay, Damian, and Scott.

"Guys, it's no problem! I'm your biggest fan, head of both Fan Clubs! And **no one** deserves what you went through." Jay says two his two biggest idols, two of Total Drama's worst villains.

"I can safely say that I agree mi amigo." Alejandro replies, trying to smile, but can't due to the stiffness of his bandages.

"Yeah, me too. Thank you Jay, for everything" Scott says, smiling for the first time today.

DJ walked up to Jay as he said, "Wow, I didn't think anyone coming would even talk, much less be nice to Scott and Al."

Jay smiles and booms out "What, didn't your Mama teach you to forgive and forget?"

Everyone gasped, everyone knew how much DJ cared for his mother.

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Did I just hear what I thought I heard him say what I thought he said?" Alejandro asks.

(Static)

"Oh SSSHHHNAAAAPPP!" Leshawna says with a snap of her fingers.

(Static)

"DJ is a buddy… but DUDE that was a wicked burn! Nice!" Duncan says approvingly.

(Static)

"Goodbye Duncan 2.0" Noah says with his normal cynical drawl.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Now, DJ was in almost any situation a kind, calm, and often timid person. But one of the few exceptions to that was when he felt like his Mama was insulted. When that happened, DJ would feel a strong anger and otherwise out of character desire for violence. And right now he looked like he wanted to slam Jay into the ground.

"Jesus man! I was just kidding! Don't you know how to take a joke?" Jay said as he laughed with a smile to the larger black teenager.

Unsure if this was genuine, DJ just stared at the new contestant for a second. But as far as he could tell the teenager with the Mohawk was sincere with no offensive being intended. DJ's expressions soften, and he starts to laugh. Jay, Damian, and Scott all join him in laughter (Al can't due to the Bandages). DJ stops laughing after about a minutes and says, "Oh man you had me going for a minute there! You're all right… I'm DJ".

"I already know who are, but it's nice to meet you in person DJ. " Jay says, fist bumping him.

Noah eyes Jay suspiciously. Jay notices, but doesn't care.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I am VERY wary about that Jay guy… maybe it's the shark teeth Mohawk, maybe it's the fact that he was wearing sunglasses? Maybe it's that he seems a little TOO smooth… or maybe it's the fact that he **raised online petitions for Al and Scott to get better and is the head of their fan clubs! **All those things tell me that I have to keep my eye on him." Noah informs the camera.

(Static)

"I cannot believe I'm on Total Drama! And I'm already buddies with SCOTT AND ALEJANDRO!" Jay exclaims like the Total Drama fan boy that he is. He then pulls out a paper bag and breaths into it to prevent him from hyperventilating from his excitement.

"YEAHHHHHHH! This so makes up for the fact that they choose Anne Maria over me last year… what a bitch! Oh, I almost forgot… HI MOM!"

(Static)

"Jay seems like a perfectly stand-up guy… and he so had me!" DJ says with a laugh as he claps his hands. "I was seriously considering flattening him for a second. He has one hell of a sense of humour, don't think momma would approve of it, but Momma doesn't always have to approve of everything right? I think I'll be proud to call Jay a friend."

(Static)

"Wow… one of the first real buddies I've had on this show. I can't believe someone gave a s**t enough about me to actually raise money for me to get better. That's never happened before… I have no Idea what to think…" Scott says in confusion while scratching the back of his head.

(Static)

"It sure is nice to have someone like Jay around. He will be a very valuable ally in the weeks to come." Alejandro says with an expression of pondering on his tan Latino face.

(Static)

"It is very difficult for me to get a read on Jay. His aura is mostly grey, with hints of black, red, and blue… he is hiding something. I may have to watch him very closely?" Dawn ponders.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL **

* * *

The next new contestant stepped off the bus and started walking towards her opponents in this season. She was a tall (but not nearly as tall as Giavanna) girl with short jet-black hair in a bob and wearing round violet sunglasses hiding beautiful almond shaped sapphire-blue eyes. She's wearing a dark purple strapped tube top with a gold ring in the centre holding it together, sky blue daisy dukes, and dark brown pumps with purple straps. Surveying those present through her violet sunglasses, the newest contestant says in a condescending tone, "Pfff… not much competition here."

As she is walking towards the others, Kevin walks up to her and says, "Oh, you must be Melody."

"Sorry, I don't have time to talk to washed-up strung out Musicians." Melody says as she walks by him.

The new host's eye twitches, as he doesn't move for a few moments. "I just got out of rehab, so I'm not strung out… and I'M NOT WASHED UP!" Kevin screams angrily.

"You just keep on telling yourself that… maybe all the voices in your head will go away." Duncan says, laughing. Then a nun-chuck-wielding Harold whips him upside the head.

"Thanks buddy." Kevin says.

"Anytime." Harold replies, looking down pleased at the dazed Duncan.

"Wow, who's the Heather clone?" Cody asks, puzzled by Melody.

"Even better question… who's the **Hottie**?" Jay asks, entranced by Melody.

Both boys were right. Melody was very attractive. And indeed other than the bob haircut, slightly shorter size, and a different color scheme in her clothes, she looked uncannily like Heather.

"I look like her because she's my sister." Melody replies, choosing to answer Cody's question.

"Figures." Noah replies.

Her face brightens up for a second as she shouts, "Damian!"

"Aw crap." The called to teenage male mutters.

"I didn't know you were competing this year too!" Melody exclaimed in disbelief.

"Uh, you know this guy?" Owen asks.

"Of course, he's my brother." Melody says condescendingly with a roll of her eyes.

Everyone there gasps. Damian facepalms himself as Melody frowns.

"Thanks for spilling the beans, sis." Damian replies.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Thank you for shouting to the entire world that I'm Heather's kid brother… I REALLY APPRICIATE IT!" Damian shouts with all the hate-filled venom his voice can muster.

"Melody sees Heather's actions on this show as something to be admired, learned, and improved on… I see it differently. She was a bitch, pure and simple. I'm here to prove that not all of us in this family are like Heather. Assuming that they'll not treat me like a leper now that they know."

(Static)

"I have no problems with being Heather's sister in this contest… she would have won if she had been smarter in her scheming, oh and didn't start liking the enemy. I'm smarter, I'm stronger, I'm better, and I WILL WIN!" Melody says before she starts to smile evilly. "And I can't wait to throw it in her face when I do."

(Static)

"Who cares if she's Heather's little sis?! Besides, she is hot! That Giavanna girl is not too shabby herself, but she's WAAAAAAAYYYYY to tall for me… I prefer girls like Melody." Jay says.

(Static)

* * *

Though no one said anything almost every pair of eyes began glaring at Damian. He was showing signs of being greatly saddened. Someone else, knowing what he must be feeling, walked over to him and placed a large hand on his shoulder. Unlike with Duncan, this hand on the shoulder was meant to comfort. This was helped by the words said by the person, Giavanna.

"Hey look guys. Damian maybe Heather's brother… but that doesn't mean he's like her. Give him a chance."

"T-thanks, I-I'm Damian." Damian says as he looks up at her, trying not to blush.

"Giavanna, pleasure to meet you Damian. I hope we can be friends." Gia says, smiling warmly.

"Wow…" Damian says starstruck as she walks away.

"I couldn't agree more Gia…" Jay says, fist bumping Damian before turning to Melody and saying suggestively, "…And as for you, I'll be seein' you tonight."

"Get bent creep!" Mel replies, in angry lack of interest.

"You don't know what you're missing!" Jay replies, grinning.

Several people present, most notably Noah, roll their eyes.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Being Heather's brother must be rough… I feel so sorry for him. I know what it's like to be ostracised and stereotyped. Even now I'm picked on for being "too tall" by the girls in my hometown. And sadly my situation is not much better with the guys. One guy I asked out last year said it would "compromise his manhood" if he went out with me. How lame is THAT?!" Giavanna says to the camera, switching from her sympathy with Damian to her unpleasant past.

(Static)

"Huh, a girl actually paid attention to me and stuck up for me? I can't believe it! At home, even though I'm the Captain of the Hockey, Lacrosse, and Track teams, the girls either ignore me or pick on me just because I'm HEATHER'S BROTHER! But maybe I can change that, here and now, with Giavanna…maybe?" Damian says to the camera, switching from his unpleasant past to his new found but rapidly growing attraction for Giavanna.

(Static)

"That Jay guy just creeps me out… ugh." Melody says before making disgusted gaging noises.

(Static)

"She'll give in eventually… no one can resist me for long…" Jay says with swagger before his face becomes much more worried and rational. "Sadly that includes Noah. He'll see what I'm doing sooner rather than later. So he has to be numero uno on my hit list and the first to go!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

The next person to step off the bus was a tall (but once again, dwarfed by Giavanna) and muscular boy with chestnut coloured hair and amber eyes. He is dressed in a bowler hat, long black coat with a starch-white collar, a grey waist-coat, a cravat of orange and purple, black trousers with black dress-shoes, holding a gold pocket watch that shines in the sun, and a very glossy black cane with a handle in the shape of a raven's head.

To say that his appearance was bizarre and caught the attention of the others would be putting it mildly. Jay sees him (and so does everyone else, it's very difficult not to notice a teen dressed so immaculately) and walks up to introduce himself.

"Wow, I never thought I'd see an English gentleman around here before… are you sure you're in the right place?" Jay asks jokingly.

The tall boy dressed like a gentleman replies with a sophisticated British accent and slight smile, "I can assure you young man with a Mohawk, I am in proper place. For this is where we will be competing for two million dollars, in a manner not too dissimilar from a race."

"Heh, I see what you did there. But could you speak in plain English please? Name's Jay by the way and yours is…?" Jay says, holding out his hand, smiling.

The gentlemanly dressed boy looks puzzled, as if not sure what to say for a second, but then shakes Jay's hand and replies with "I am Erebus, and it is a pleasure to meet you Jay but I must politely decline. For this is the manner of language that I have grown accustomed but I sincerely hope we can forge a friendship just fine." Erebus then releases Jay's hand.

"Uh… ok that's cool" Jay says as Erebus walks away to meet the others.

"Snobby Jerk!" Jay says with his fist clenched close to his face.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Stuck-up English Jackass! Think I'm not good enough to speak plainly to me huh? Well Erebus, you have just made yourself my first target once I put my game plan into action and Noah's out of the picture! Trust me, once the bookworm bits the dust then…" Jay threatens the camera before making a throat-slicing motion across his neck and smiling evilly, "…you are GONE!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Greeting and salutations to all! I look forward to competing against all of you, be you large or small." Erebus says as he approaches the majority of those assembled.

His eyes then turn to Melody and he is instantly interested. Walking up to her, he says, "Melody, I must say that Cody's comment that you are a clone of Heather is such vile slander. With your beauty, you are infinity superior and in every way her better!"

Erebus then kisses Melody's hand. While somewhat puzzled by that, Melody was smitten. Like Damian, Melody's relation to Heather left her virtually un-pursued by the guys at her school. Unlike her brother though, Melody had no real issue with this. She didn't find any of the boys in her hometown attractive enough to date. So, with Erebus not only being the first guy to say he had interest in her and with him being the first guy, who she considered attractive, is it terribly shocking that her face began blushing a bright red? This would last a few seconds because…

"You got to be kidding me! Is no body seriously going to ask what is wrong with this poetry spewing pansy?" Duncan said, having since regained consciousness.

"If you take umbrage with me, my not so good sir, I must inform you of some news. If you seek to slander or take up arms against me, that is a fight…" Erebus says, with his amber eyes like flames in anger at being insulted and having his little moment with Melody ruined, as he grasp his cane's raven head shaped handle and revealed the hidden sword, "…you are destined to lose!"

Genuinely shocked that this turn of events, Duncan shut his mouth real quick in fright. This genuinely shocked everyone but for some this turned into something else very quickly.

"Dude!" Izzy exclaimed, "Is that a real cane sword? I've always wanted one just in case I'm at some kind of formal dance and have to fight my way out in the event of a zombie apocalypse!"

"Yes, of course it's real, my dear Izzy. And let me just say it will be an honor to compete against one who is surging with a lust for life while being fully enraptured in honesty."

The impulsive redhead, similar to Melody earlier, blushed. Its not every day that a guy as handsome as this gives you such compliments. As Izzy and a several other people like Harold and Cody marveled at the exposed cane sword, another person was looking at the newest contestant with considerable worry.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Owen looks into the Confessional camera with that same worried look as when Izzy was clearly impressed by Erebus.

"Breaking up with Izzy was one of my biggest mistakes. I've come to regret it ever since. I was hoping to patch things up with her this time around. But how can I compete against a guy who's not only muscular and handsome but is sophisticated and has a sword?"

Then Owen's natural optimism returned as he says, "Maybe I'm over reacting? Maybe Izzy not that impressed with this E-Bus guy?"

(Static)

"Izzy just found a new best friend!" The Wild Redhead exclaims to the camera.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Yo, Kev! You really lettin' this guy have-a sword?" Anna Maria asked Kevin in true alarm.

"Yep! It's seriously cool, it's a cane sword for crying out loud!" Kevin explained before adding, "Besides, he wouldn't come without it."

"But what if he threatens someone with it?" DJ asked in fright as he started to slightly shake.

"That'll make for good TV." Kevin says with shocking indifference to DJ's fears.

"B-but, what if he k-ki-kills someone with it?" DJ says as he almost reaches near panic. Fortunately for him, Katie, who was standing near him and was shocking able to pull herself away from Sadie, patted the taller teen's shoulder in comfort. The Gentle Giant smiles at the thinner and darker skinned BFF.

"Then we will be sure to disqualify him." Kevin assured him. "Also, sadly, we'll have to kick off the person he decapitated and/or stabbed to death too. But its understood that Erebus will not use that one any of you, right?"

Kevin's words didn't help DJ any. Noticing this, Erebus approaches him, withdraws the sword into the cane, and says, "You truly have nothing to fear my equal in size though darker friend. You have my word that I will not sure this sword on anyone here in anger as a gentleman."

The Gentle Giant didn't have time to wonder the genuineness of this statement as the next new contestant stepped off of the bus. He was a tall, dark, and muscular Hispanic male with messed up black hair and blue eyes that's dressed in a white muscle shirt, navy blue shorts, and brown sandals. Many of the girls, and Owen, were staring at this newest and very handsome contestant.

"Hola Francisco! How are things at the family's tattoo parlour?" Kevin asks Francisco.

"They are good me amigo. In fact I just got a tattoo especially for this season."

"Is that right? In fact, now that you've mentioned it, would you mind showing the others here your tattoos? I'm sure the ladies here and those watching from home would be very grateful."

"Of course. We must give the ladies what they want." Francisco said as he took his shirt off.

As he did, the air seemed to be filled with the same angelic music normally accompanying Justin or Alejandro when they did such an action and the squeals of several very happy girls.

True to his title, the majority of the Tattoo Artist's upper body was covered in tattoos of different sizes, shapes, and colors. He spun around several times so everyone could see every single one. On the right side of his neck there was a blue bird descending in flight. Along his upper chest there were the words **"Por Siempre Mi Familia"** (meaning **"Family Forever"** in Spanish) written in a very fancy black print with curving lines under each word with spaces between them. Directly over his heart was a tattoo of a heart having a banner with **"MOM"** written across it. His left arm had a Chinese dragon spiralling its scaly and serpentine green body along its entire length with the horned and whiskered head being over the knuckles of his left hand.

On his back was a large phoenix that was rising from its own ashes and fiery death triumphantly in vivid reds, yellows, and oranges. The last one was on his left side and left lower upper body and was a tattoo that was similar to an etching and therefore was a mixture of greys and blacks that looked like something put on metal. It was the most detailed of the tattoos, depicting an artist with his head on a table and buried into his arms while owls and bats are surrounding him and seemingly poised to attack the artist. Written on the table in white letters was **"El sueño de la razón produce monstrous" **(meaning** "The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters" **in Spanish).

The number, variety, and detail of the tattoos on Francisco stunned everyone. Everyone was so stunned that most didn't hear Kevin say, "Very impressive Francisco. But I notice that your right side is largely devoid of tattoos. Any particular reason why?"

"I have yet to find some artistic inspiration for that side." Francisco says in a neutral and matter-of-factly manner as he shrugs his shoulders after putting his white short back on.

The recently re-shirted teenager than noticed somebody near the back of the crowd, somebody in a wheelchair. After what was a brief but strong facial expression of pure hatred and contempt, his face becomes perfectly calm and civil as he approaches the other Hispanic male among the cast.

Reaching Alejandro, Francisco introduced himself, "Hola Alejandro, as you already know, I'm Francisco. I must say; I've been looking forward to meeting you in person for a very long time."

"Really? Why is that?" Alejandro asks in genuine curiosity.

"Simple. Because I've always dreamed of this moment since you first appeared on the show so I could **LOOK INTO YOUR VILE GREEN EYES AND SEE IF I COULD FIND A SOUL!" **Francisco said in a perfectly calm and normal tone before switching to loud volcanic fury without a single pause or detectible shift in effort.

Alejandro, and everyone else present, was truly in shock at this effortless switch from Francisco. But the Tattoo Artist was far (FAR) from through with Alejandro. For the next three to five minutes, the normally restrained and quiet Hispanic teenager unleashed an endless succession of Spanish words that contained some of the foulest swearing and creative insults that had ever been recorded by a camera of Total Drama.

Among the countless kinds of insults, two of them which give a small light onto the nature of the rest were that Al must have been conceived by his mother having sexual intercourse with a lubricated donkey dick and that if he wasn't in a wheelchair that Francisco would do things to him that would make _"The Disasters of War" _(a famous collection of horrific recreations of images from a bloody civil war in Spain) look like _"Dora the Explorer"_.

After Francisco was finished, the silence was absolute as every pair of eyes stared at him and Al. Alejandro, so well known for his ability to hide his true emotions, had his mouth gaping open.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Alejandro looks beyond confused as he simply asks, "Dora the Explorer?"

(Static)

"I don't know what he said to him but the look on Al's face was priceless!" Cody says smiling.

(Static)

"Finally, a pretty boy with muscles who has a brain and I can respect!" Noah says with a smirk.

(Static)

"I might not have understood the words Francisco said to Alejandro but I easily understood his aura. I can't remember the last time I felt such pure negativity towards another person. But what's so strange is that aside from his feelings about Alejandro and one or two others here, Francisco's aura is full of compassion and concern." Dawn reveals, confused by this aura based contradiction as she stares into the camera wide-eyed.

(Static)

"That felt really, REALLY good. My only regret is that I held my strongest feelings back." Francisco says.

(Static)

"I do not like this season so far one little bit! It's bad enough that Alejandro is here but now there's also Erebus and Francisco to muscle in on my title as the head of the sexiest man here department!" Justin says in justified concern about his only unique position being threatened.

(Static)

Katie and Sadie are sitting together in the Confessional as they are giggling together.

"I am so loving this season so far and it hasn't even started yet!" Katie says to the camera.

"I know right! Not only is Justin here but we also have Erebus and Francisco! They are all so super yummy!" Sadie adds with smile on her face.

"Yeah, DJ is so yummy." Katie says with a large smile and dreamful expression on her face.

"LIKE OH MY GOSH! You like DJ!" Sadie said in happy surprise.

"Um…ah, like, where did you get that idea?"

"You, like, just said it, silly." Sadie said bluntly while still being clearly happy for Katie.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

The majority of people were still in shock from Francisco's Spanish tirade. The few that weren't noticed the next person had already walked down to where they were assembled without a word. One of those few people who noticed the next contestant's arrival was the show's new host.

"Wow. I never would have excepted that from you Francisco." Kevin says in reeling shock before returning to a normal demeanour as he says, "Anyway, the next contestant is already here so be prepared to meet another new face people."

Everybody looked around and several moved throughout the area in search of the newest person. No body could find any trace of any additional person in there presence.

"Kevin, there's no body here." Harold said. "Besides, if there were we would have heard them."

"You would think so Harold but no. I assure the next contestant is in this very space. And as to why you didn't hear anything, let's just say that this person doesn't say much…or anything."

"What? Is this guy another prissy primadonna like Justin or a mute weirdo like B?" Scott said, his sneer now restored to what it once was.

"Hey! I'm not a primadonna! I'm much prettier than Madonna!" Justin said loudly in offense.

"B is not a weirdo! He's a much better person than you will ever be Scott!" Dawn said, showing an anger never before seen from the Moonchild.

"Aw, did I press some buttons? Well as I recall you voted B off of the island just like me. My only regret about getting rid of B was that I didn't get rid of you first Fairy Princess. Because I…" Scott says to Dawn.

The Moonchild would have protested but then she and the others noticed something that Scott didn't. Behind the wounded ginger there was the long shadow of a pillar…but something had changed. Unless of course, pillars often have electric blue eyes!

He didn't know how it had happened but for the second time today Scott fell flat on his face. It seemed like somebody had struck his feet but there was no body behind him. Was there?

Scott soon got his answer after being turned on his back and looking at someone whose entire body was covered in black cloth. For obvious reasons, Scott didn't believe what he was seeing.

"What the Hell? What are you? Some kind of…" Scott began to say before…

"NINJA!" Harold exclaimed it was unreadable if his voice was one of fear or joy.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I know that I had a fear of ninjas during Total Drama Island but I conquered that fear…" Harold says in confidence before adding with hesitation, "…by knocking myself out in the bathroom."

The Nerd then regained his normal self-confidence as he says, "But that doesn't matter. My point is that I've come to recognize the awesomeness of ninjas! And its even better when one of them takes down the red-haired Duncan the second."

(Static)

"Seriously, is there some kind of law that every season has somebody who doesn't talk?" Duncan asks.

(Static)

"While I can't approve of the ninja hurting Scott, I'm glad he, she got him to stop insulting B. I still feel very guilty about being tricked by Scott into voting him off last season." Dawn says.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Yes, Harold, a ninja. Everyone, this is Ari." Kevin says to everyone there. "As you can likely guess, this is somebody who won't be engaging in long-winded conversations. In particular about whether Ari is a boy or a girl. Honestly, even we don't know which this person is."

Everybody looked at Ari is shock. The Ninja moved its head up and down in a **"yes"** motion.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"How do you put someone on a reality television show without knowing his or her gender? And while we are on the subject of absurdity, what is up with the all-black ninja outfit? Here's a little history lesson for you boys and girls. Ninjas only wore outfits like that at night. You know, when you WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SEE THEM! Otherwise they'd just stick out like sore thumbs. They were an ancient order of assassins, not cultural heroes or supernatural fighters!" Noah says in frustration, this is clearly something that he's thought about before.

(Static)

"As I was helping Scott get back up, I swear I saw some boob under all that cloth..." Jay says with confidence before showing a look of realization as he says, "Jesus that sounds wrong. Still, Ari's a girl, I know it."

(Static)

"Yeah. So it's really obvious that Ari is a guy. He's just my great, great, great…" Staci says.

The sound suddenly goes off and a message appears on the screen that says, _'We at Total Drama are going to be merciful and spare you this rant which lasts over forty-five minutes.'_

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Though intrigued by Ari for a reason he couldn't put his finger on, Duncan decided to turn his head and see if anyone was coming towards them. Sadly for him there was. Upon seeing who was coming next, the Delinquent's eyes widened while he clenched his hands into fists and contorted his face into one of rage. All he says is an angry and loud, **"YOU!"**

Hearing Duncan's reaction, everyone turns to see the next contestant approaching them. He is a shorter boy with brown eyes and dark brown hair covered by a sideways yellow and white ball cap. This person is also wearing a yellow-green Tee with a dark green skull in the center, blue jeans, and yellow and white sneakers steps.

"Hi Duncan, looks like your happy to see me." The shorter kid says, grinning mockingly.

"Greg, the brother of Gwen, everybody!" Kevin happily exclaims.

"Are there any other siblings of previous contestants that you have hidden away?" Noah asks the host in a sarcastic manner.

"No, Noah, I think three will be more than enough." Kevin answers. "Besides, I'd wager dollars to donuts that we will get the most drama out of these three, right Greg?"

"Oh of course Kevin. Just ask my buddy Duncan. We've gotten along perfectly since he started dating and **corrupting** my sister!" Greg said in a manner conveying a deep loathing beneath surface level civility.

Said "buddy" Duncan was merely grating his teeth angrily as he walks over to Greg. With his fists clenched Duncan stares right into Greg's eyes and growls out, "Prepare for your life to be a living Hell you little fuck! For every bullshit prank you've ever pulled! Now that you don't have Gwen's skirt to hide under, your dead meat! Let's start with to a punch to the face; you won't be smiling then, will you?"

Duncan then pushes Greg to the ground, and raises his fist to make good on his threat. Similar to Noah earlier, part of the reason for Duncan acting so strongly was a long overdo personal grudge. Ever since he started dating Gwen, Duncan became the victim of Greg's pranks and was never able to prove it or get Greg to stop, for risk of getting on Gwen's bad side. True, Duncan often picked on Greg when Gwen wasn't around but that was beside the point…at least to Duncan. Either way, Gwen wasn't here and seeing Greg on the ground in a curled up in a defensive position was such a rewarding sight.

Far less rewarding for Duncan was feeling a small but hard object plow into his face and send him crashing into the ground. Dazed and confused, Duncan stared up from the ground to see what had hit him. Imagine his shock and anger when he was a familiar Geek standing over him.

"And Cody for the knockout over Duncan again!" Kevin exclaims, impressed with the Geek and pleased that Duncan got put in his place.

Cody was pulling Greg off the ground he as asks, "Hey, you ok dude?"

"Yeah, I've dealt with him before. I'm Greg", Greg says, despite having Kevin already introduced him to everyone present.

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Cody." Cody says.

"Dude! I know who you are, I'm your biggest fan Yo!" Greg says full of passion.

Cody gets greatly worried for a second as he asks, "Are you a "Sierra" type of biggest fan?"

"What!?" Greg exclaims in genuine shock before understanding where Cody was coming from. "Oh…I see what you mean. No way yo! Sierra gives me the creeps, big time! Besides, me and you, despite what a lot of your fan girls would like to believe, are straight." Greg replies.

"Great! I think we'll get along just fine then." Cody says smiling, but then he gets a worried look on his face. "Uh…not because your straight I mean! I'd be fine if you were gay. I mean I'm not gay but I'd be fine if you were. I'm not a homophobe… I love gay people! No, I mean…"

Cody would have continued to ramble on but thankfully Greg stopped him by saying, "I get it Cody. You don't need to explain yourself. But I think you just added fuel to the fan girls' fire. You likely know this already but if there's ever the slightest hint of you or Noah being involved in those activities, a hundred yaoi fanfics go up the next day with a snap of the fingers."

"Don't remind me. While I do like the idea of making so many girls happy, it's made me getting a date with a girl hard…er." Cody says with a faint layer of sadness in his voice admitting this.

"I get it man. But for whatever it's worth, there's only one person I thought you should be with and I'm related to her." Greg says, knowing that saying this about Gwen will cheer Cody up.

Cody did indeed get a smile on his face. But then that smile disappeared and was replaced by an expression of sadness. Greg would have asked what caused this shift if Duncan had gotten up then off of the ground.

"Just you wait you dorks, I'll get you... ALL OF YOU!" Duncan screams at Cody, Noah, Harold, and Greg as he wipes the blood from his nose and stomps of angrily muttering to himself.

"I'd like to see you try!" Greg exclaims to Duncan before continuing to talk with Cody.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Duncan's the biggest jackass I know! I have no idea what Gwen sees in him!" Greg says in anger as he makes his true feelings about Duncan known before switching tunes and speaking with an equally strong joy, "Unlike Cody…Cody's awesome! He's the guy Gwen deserves. Duncan don't deserve shit!"

The Prankster's voice then dials the back on the emotion and replaces it a more questioning tone. "I love Gwen to death but even I have to ask...why is it that she hasn't considered Cody before? I mean, I could understand Trent. He was a cool guy. But I will never understand how my big sis could overlook Cody's loyalty to hook up with creep Duncan!"

As the emotion returned to Greg's voice, he ended this Confessional, "I can't speak for Gwen but I knew who the right guy for my big sis was ever since she put her hand in Cody's pants!" He eyes go wide in realization "WAIT! WHAT I MEANT WAS-

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

After Duncan left them, Cody and Greg continued talking with each other. The two quickly discovered that in addition to a hatred of Duncan, they also shared a love of technology, musical instruments, and _Star Trek_…a strong basis for a beautiful friendship if there ever was one.

The two would have continued this conversation and ignored the next contestant to come…if it wasn't for the fact that many of them reacted with gasps of utter shock at said next contestant.

Turning their heads, Cody and Greg saw the reason for everyone's reactions of shock. The next person to have gotten off of the bus and reached where the others were was a very short girl with black eyes, long black hair tied in a pony-tail, and tan skin who was wearing a blue-green spandex gymnastics suit, a rabbit's foot on a chain around her neck, and yellow-green flats.

Her left hand was holding a large and heavy suitcase that was barely being held above the ground. But that wasn't why everyone was staring at her…the reason was because she was missing a right arm! Devoid of even a stump of a limb, there was nothing, absolutely nothing!

As everyone stared at this girl, she stared right back at them with her black eyes. She was unsure about how to react to everyone's curiosity. Eventually she made a choice.

"Yes, I have no right arm. If you would like to stare at it later, I ensure it will still be there." The One-Armed Girl says, in which a certain playful humouring and dreaded hurt could be heard.

"Yes it will, my dear. Everyone, this is Nanon. And as you can see for yourselves, she has no right arm. But don't let that fool you. This girl who should be more than capable of competing." Kevin says, repressing his own minor and self-shame inspiring sense of disgust.

"How the Hell is she suppose to compete against us? She'll be useless to whatever team she's on! She only has one arm for God's sake!" Melody shouted in confusion, totally indifferent to the brief but still obvious look of hurt of Nanon's face.

That look was replaced by a look of realization that there was a table right next to her with cups of hot tea that nobody else seemed to notice. This gave her an idea to put this bitch in her place!

"Kevin, is there any Oolong tea on this table?" Nanon asks, ignoring Melody's comment.

"Uh…yes. You're actually standing right next to a fresh up Nanon." Kevin says to her.

"Oh…goody!" Nanon says in joy before developing a look of disappointment and sadness, "But I don't want to put my suitcase on the dirty ground. What's a helpless girl with one arm to do?"

Everyone, even Kevin, looked at Nanon confused as she continued, "Oh but I do love tea so. I've been drinking it every since I was a little girl. My mom would always sing _The Teapot Song, _as we would drink it together. You all do know the words, right?

"I'm a little teapot…short and stout…here is my handle…" Nanon sings as she gestures to her left arm holding the heavy suitcase. But as she was singing Nanon was doing something else.

Still holding the suitcase, she had removed her right shoe. This revealed that she was wearing socks that did not cover her toes, which wiggled freely as her right foot was slowly raised.

After she sang, "…here is my spout…" Nanon had her right leg extended almost perfectly vertical and her big toe and pointer toe grasp the handle of the teacup containing the Oolong tea. Then with seemingly no great effort she put the cup to her face and drank the said Oolong tea. It was amazing to everyone else, who had been silenced by how she was using her foot with the same natural ease as any of them would use one of there hands. Adding to the shock factor was when Nanon finished her cup of tea and flipped it through the air so it landed back on the table.

Staring at everyone's puzzled faces; Nanon had a justified smirk and simply said with satisfaction, "Lovely."

A few people, like Duncan and Melody, had looks of complete disgust. Jay, on the other hand, put his hand over and ran to a nearby trashcan to barf. Jay issued forth a commanding, **"BLARRRRGGGGHHHH!"** Nanon once again said, "Lovely", though this time it was with sarcasm and a roll of the eyes.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Izzy can double joint both of her elbows but Izzy NEEDS to learn how to do that!" The Wild Redhead who speaks in the third person exclaimed to the camera.

(Static)

"I'm ashamed to admit that I wondered if Nanon would be a disadvantage. But I'm very happy to have been proven wrong. After all, I'm not a stranger to being judged by physical features." Giavanna says to the camera.

(Static)

"It doesn't happen often but if I see something worth of praise, I respect it. Nanon may prove to be a worthy opponent. If only I could do that!" Jo says, switching respect for jealousy instantly.

(Static)

"Whoa. But there's something just as amazing to me. How did nobody notice that table before?" Noah says in wonder, both at Nanon's action and his logical observation.

(Static)

"Hopefully that silenced any accusations that I'm weak or handicapped. The way I like to see, I'm not handicapped because whereas most people only have two hands, I have three." Nanon says to the camera, repeating a sentiment that she's clung to her entire life.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"What a asshole!" Duncan says in reaction to Jay puking into a trashcan.

"Hey! Tell me you weren't considering doing the same douchebag!" Damian says to Duncan.

"Yeah Duncan, shut the Hell up you hypocrite!" Greg yells at his mortal enemy.

"You wanna fight twerp? Because Gwen's still not here to save you and I'm not going to be blindsided by Cody a third ti…" Duncan says before feeling someone tapping on his shoulder.

Turning around, the Delinquent sees a still green-gilled Jay who weakly says, "If you want to get to him, you'll have to go through me."

"Is that right? You can barely stand, how are you going to…**ACK!"** Duncan began to say smugly before being punched in the face (again) by Jay and fell onto the ground (again).

"Sorry..." Jay says as he turns to face Nanon, "… I've just never seen anything... oh crap... **BLARGGGGGGHHHHH!**" Jay tries to say as he barfs again, all over the fallen Duncan, to the laughter of all, accept Ari.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Ari is writing on a notepad before showing to the camera to reveal her thoughts: _"I didn't find that funny, just disgusting. But I will admit Duncan had it coming."_

(Static)

"It's okay, people have been grossed out by me before. Nothing I haven't seen before, sadly." Nanon says with a sigh.

(Static)

"I think me and Jay could be friends. Anyone who knocks Duncan on his ass can't be all bad." Greg says.

(Static)

"Goddamned freakshow bitch made me throw up..." Jay groaned under his heavy breath until he angrily proclaimed, **"SHE'S GOING DOWN!"**

Then the Puppetmaster without any puppets yet slaps himself and takes a couple of deep breaths.

"No, stick to the game plan, Jay. THEN knock her off! I have to build a stable and strong alliance before I can take people like her and Noah down. If I can get about half a dozen people into an alliance, then I'll dominate this game! And Damian and Greg, two people who both have clean slates and possibly useful connections to some of the most capable pervious contestants that have ever been on this show, plus DJ, probably the nicest big guy here, are as good a start as I'll find." Jay says smiling deviously.

(Static)

Duncan is sitting there angrily and still covered in Jay's barf as he says, **"When did the universe decide to take a massive shit on me?!" **

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Awesome! That was like something out of the 1932 classic _Freaks_!" A voice of someone unknown happily exclaimed.

Turning their heads away from the minor show they had just seen, the others saw the next contestant approaching them. He was a teenage boy who's on the taller and fatter side sitting at a desk. Both his skin and eyes under glasses are black. His hair, both on his head and on his face is brown. The hair on his head is starting to slightly thin on his head leaving the impression of the starting of baldness.

While his facial hair is both a thick but short beard that fully covers his chin line and two lengths of hair from his beard that form an almost mustache but each end stops under his nose. There is a very small gold earring on his right ear. As far as clothes, he's wearing a brown jacket, a yellow t-shirt that is visible underneath the jacket, blue jeans, and most oddly of all a sloppy dark red tie that's not fully tied.

"Carlyle! Finally! How's my favorite little Cinefile doing?" Kevin said happily.

Despite this and Carlyle's genuine smile, there were gasps and outcries of full rage from two people who seemed almost incapable of such feelings.

"Like OH MY GOSH! What kind of sick people are letting in this season Kevin?!" Katie said.

"Like, yeah! We refuse to compete with somebody who sleeps with little kids!" Sadie added.

To say that things became awkward after this would be an understatement. After a few moments, it, Carlyle and Kevin realized what had just happened.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out! I think we've got a _The Crying Game _level of misunderstanding at work here. And it's only slightly more awkward than me actually being a chick with a dick!" Carlyle exclaimed.

"Katie, Sadie, I said Cinefile! Not pedophile!" Kevin explains. "A Cinefile is somebody who has a love and knowledge of movies that can range from extreme to borderline obsessive."

"Oh…sorry Carlyle." Katie and Sadie said in disturbingly perfect unison.

"It's cool. It was a perfectly honest mistake." Carlyle said before turning to face Kevin. "So, great to meet you Kevin! The movie version of _"Restrained Progression"_ was awesome, man! It was incredible even with the glacial pace of its development. I almost died from laughing for so long after his father yelled at Mike Truth, "There's always currency in the plantain boutique!""

Both Carlyle and Kevin then started laughing hysterically while no one else got what they Hell they were talking about. Even so, one had a glint of realization in his eyes.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"It seems like Carlyle is on really good terms with the new host. It might not be a bad idea to get him into my alliance. Sort of like Sierra but without pissing the host off through obliviousness." Jay says to camera with a dark smile.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

After that initial snafu, Carlyle got along with pretty much everyone there and entered a few general discussions about Carlyle's favorite topic of interest…movies (of course).

But a sudden explosion interrupted those discussions! Looking at the smoldering center, they contestants saw the form of a person covered in black soot who was somehow still standing.

"Cough, cough. It wasn't…cough…supposed to…cough…burn!" The standing soot covered figure said in exhausted wonder in-between coughs of soot before falling on his back like a tree.

The majority of those present either didn't fully process what had happened or were laughing. Moved by concern for his well-being, Giavanna, Dawn, and Nanon all rushed over to help him.

"Am I…cough…am I in Heaven? If not, there's a lot of pretty faces here." The soot covered male said in a deliriously happy manner.

"Thank you for the kind words but sadly this isn't Heaven. This is the set of Total Drama." Dawn said.

"So you know, pretty much the opposite of Heaven." Nanon added with a small smirk.

"Oh…ok. Could one of you please help me up? My body really hurts right now." The soot covered male asked.

"Sure. I'll help you." Giavanna says before bringing the soot covered one to his feet.

"Thank you Miss Nice Lady Type Person." The loopy one covered in soot says.

After Giavanna brought him to his feet and stayed by him to keep him upright until he could stand on his own, the soot mostly fallen off of his body. This revealed his feature to the rest. He was a fairly short white male with short dirty blonde hair. He is wearing a white-buttoned shirt with a black jacket over it, blue jeans, and red shoes. But the most eye-catching feature is a black cape extending to his ankles that is kept together by a golden diamond shaped holder on his chest with a bright and shining ruby center.

As the soot fell off of his body, he still unnamed contestant started to regain his bearings. They didn't fully come back until he saw Nanon as he says in the loudest shock he could muster, **"OH MY GOD…I BLEW OFF YOUR ARM!"**

He then started looking around frantically as he was saying, "Hurry! Help me find it! Maybe we can put it back on! Someone get a needle and some duck tape. Duck tape fixes everything!"

"Mathieu, calm down. You didn't injury Nanon. She hasn't had a right arm since birth." Dawn said to the panicking person.

Shocked by this the person looked at Nanon who simply nodded her head "yes". "Oh…sorry for freaking out then and WAIT A SECOND!" That same person then turned his head to face Dawn. "How did you know that my name was Mathieu?"

"That's easy. It's all over your aura. Every person's name becomes a part of who they are after a few years old because of how often we use them and are called by them." Dawn answered.

"Uh, what are you…oh, your Dawn. I should have known. I hope you have a better season this time." Mathieu says with a real smile on his slightly black face because of some stubborn soot.

"I hope so too." Dawn said with a smile in return.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Given how the universe seems to be conspiring against me, I really hope I don't end up on the same team as the human fireball!" Duncan exclaimed to the camera in worry.

(Static)

Mathieu looks at the camera in wonder, "Seriously though, that illusion shouldn't have burned?"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Hahahaha…oh, that was priceless! I'm so glad I decided to let you arrange your own entrance!" Kevin says to Mathieu as he wipes a tear. "I don't think the next person could hope to top that."

"**KEVIN!"** A female voice shouted in utter joy as the sound of loud footsteps was also heard.

"What the…?" Kevin starts to ask before being suddenly tackled to the ground.

Once Kevin recovered enough to realize who was now on top of him, he couldn't help but smile as he says, "I stand corrected."

After getting back on their feet, the contestants got a good look at the girl who tackled Kevin. She was a tall girl with long, flowing blue hair, round green eyes, and violet lips dressed in a pink tank top, tight white shorts, and short lime-green heel-boots. She was now hugging him.

"Kevin! I'm happy to see you! I can't believe they finally let you out of rehab and are hosting the show! It's so good to see you again; I was starting to think I never would!" The blue haired girl says as fast as she can while still hugging Kevin tightly with her eyes getting watery.

"I'm happy to see you too sis. It's been such a long eight months but I'm very happy to see you. Also I'm very happy to see that your latest album just went triple platinum, by the way." Kevin says to the girl, apparently his sister.

"Your sister? Does that mean that she's…?" Leshawna started to ask before…

"OMG! It's Britney Clark! EEEEEE!" Katie and Sadie say in unison as they charge Britney.

As the BFF's continued to shower Britney in praises that proved their fan-girl status, most of the others remained silent for a couple of reasons. One, they didn't want to risk pissing off Kevin by mocking his sister. Two, most didn't have an extremely high opinion of her music but didn't want to create any bad blood between them and Britney without seeing how she was as a person first. Nevertheless, most of the contestants did not have very favorable opinions of Britney Clark. This was because almost no one had a high opinion of her music and many had younger siblings who would listen to her music constantly. However, a few people were willing to extend an olive branch to Britney who couldn't be more different if they had tried.

"Hello Britney, I'm Jay. While I can't say that I'm actually a "Brit-Brit" fan, your songs are a occasional guilty pleasures of mine." Jay says to her, somewhat out of that actually being the truth but more so out of seeing how it would be wise to get on Kevin's good side through her.

"I've never been a fan of your music but I'm very grateful to you for your philanthropy, like your recent benefit concerts for battered women and to save the rainforest." Dawn says.

Though not exactly the compliments she was expecting, Britney was pleased with them as she says, "Thank you two very much. I…"

"You got to be kidding me! Are we really going to let this slide?" Melody asks in anger. "Are we really supposed to believe that having the host's famous kid sister competing will be fair?"

"Yeah! That's right! Whatcha pullin' here Kevin? Gettin' her confidence levels up a-bit 'cause her music sounds like-a elephant seal bangin' with-a rusty set of bagpipes?" Anna Maria asks.

"You give it way too much credit Helmet Hair. The bubble-gum pop crap she puts out sounds more like someone performing invasive surgery on a howler monkey!" Jo says, adding to Anna Maria's insult and removing the legitimate questioning started by Melody.

Melody, Anna Maria, Jo, and a few others than started laughing as they added insults to Britney.

Britney says nothing but starts to get noticeable upset by the accusations against her. Kevin knew his little sister well; she was far from perfect and had her share of personal flaws. And this was one of the reasons why he protested so strongly for her to not be a contestant, the backlash of being related to him and the likely already unfavorable opinions of her among the others possibly bringing out those personal flaws. He knew he had to step, if only this once to set things straight.

"Firstly. I didn't want Britney in this season for exactly this reason, you thinking she was getting any special treatment from me. Let me set the record straight and say that is not that case at all. From this point onward, Britney is just another contestant and nothing more." Kevin says, his voice mostly calm and levelheaded but restrained.

"Secondly. If you recall, my "Ex-Caliber" albums were bubble-gum pop crap too. But my music got better as I matured and honed my own style. Britney will likely do the same herself later."

"Thirdly. While Britney will be just as exposed to physical hardship, emotional tiredness, and the possibility of elimination as anyone else…I will NOT ALLOW YOU TO PICK ON HER BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS OR HER REALATION TO ME!" Kevin says, switching from the same restrained calm to the great fury in his voice that he continued to speak in.

"Understand that its only because I'm determined to not be like Chris MacLean that I don't kick your asses off this show myself! I won't be able to protect her from your slander after today but if you keep this up I'll make eliminating you my last official act as Total Drama's newest host! So if you want the chance to win that 2 mil…SIT DOWN, AND SHUT THE FUCK UP, OR I WILL PERSONALLY THROW YOUR STUPID, IGNORANT ASSES OFF THIS SHOW MYSELF! IS THAT PERFECTLY CLEAR?!"

All of Britney's naysayers were suddenly silenced. No one, not even crickets, made a sound.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I didn't want him to get in trouble but I was seriously touched when Kevin defended me!" Britney says to the Confessional camera. "While I would like some special treatments like Courtney got during Total Drama Action, I realize why that couldn't be the case…sadly."

(Static)

"After being chewed out by the new host, intimidated by the 50 Foot Woman, whipped upside the head by Doris, threatened by the sword carrying Dr. Seuss fan boy, humiliated by that pipsqueak Cody for a second time, and being punched AND thrown up on by that Jay guy…I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut and not say what I truly thought of Britney. Good call I guess." Duncan says to camera like he just dodged a massive bullet, which he in fact did.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

As everyone recorded from Kevin's outburst, the next contestant, who had shared the same bus as (most) of the new contestants, didn't share their desire to get off of the bus.

Very nervous and shaking slightly, a short Japanese girl slowly exited the vehicle and looked around cautiously, as if she were a prairie dog fearing some signal to retreat into its hole. Sadly for this prairie dog, she didn't have a hole. The bus doors closed behind her and jumped frightened by the sound of the doors closing.

Shaking even more, the Japanese girl started to slowly make her way to the other contestants. While vibrating from nervousness, her physical features ands clothes were the same as from her audition tape: short black hair, yellow horn-rimmed glasses covering small round onyx eyes, wearing a sky-blue t-shirt and black pants. The only detail that was different was her not wearing a white lab coat.

"Hey Nise! How are you doing?" Kevin shouted as she was still very far away. This causes Nise to cry out in terror as she squats down and hides her head.

Seeing this, Kevin cursed himself. He realized that he should have known better. He knew that Nise was already a very shy and socially awkward individual. Plus he figured that his shouting just moments ago made her even more on edge. Once again, if he had his way Kevin would never have picked Nise as a contestant, it just seemed so cruel to him.

The new host then turned around to ask one of the contestants if they could please bring Nise to them. However, turning around he realized that one of the contestants was not with the rest. Turing his head back towards Nise, Kevin saw that the contestant who was missing was already at Nise's side. Smirking, the host asks no one in particular, "How the hell does she do that?"

"Hello Nise." Dawn says while at the girl's side and patting her shoulder in comfort, "Its okay. It's understandable that you're nervous. This must be a big shock. Do you need anything?"

"N-no." Nise stammered, looking at Dawn with quivering eyes. "S-sorry, I g-guess I over-r-reacted."

"Don't be silly, you have nothing to be sorry about. Your not use to or skilled with interacting with others so its only natural that your going to be very shy and afraid. Even though they might not be showing it, everyone's nervous. So in a way you're the most honest one here." Dawn said with a smile to the trembling Japanese girl.

This seemed to momentarily cure Nise of her shyness. Smiling and taking Dawn's hand, the two small teenage girls walked to the other contestants.

"H-hi, guys." Nise said to the others.

"Hi. What's up?" Damian asks.

"What? "Up" is a relative concept. It has no intrinsic value." Nise says, still a little jittery and falling back on her almost entirely logic based thinking like she does when that happens.

"S-sorry. Sometimes I can't h-help but t-think about so-something too much." Nise explains in between fright inspired stammers.

"That's fine. Let's try an icebreaker. Do you know any jokes?" Greg asks.

"N-not really. And right now t-t-timing isn't m-my st-strong s-suit." Nise says in weak stammers but with a slight smile on her face.

A few of the contestants around her developed slight smiles on their faces as well. The smiles and friendly faces are enough to encourage Nise to continue speaking as she says, "I know I don't seem like much but I'm hoping to get some more self-confidence, like Cameron did."

At this Jo (who had been holding her tongue) couldn't help but scoff before saying, "Dream on, Baby Rattle! That's about as likely as a sheep standing on its hind legs…less likely actually."

At hearing that the very small bubble of self-esteem Nise had built up had burst and she looks very sad. Many of those around her give Jo angry looks before trying to comfort her.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Ba-baby ra-rattle?" Nise asks in confusion while shaking at the name Jo used for her, unaware that her shaking and stammering was the very reason.

(Static)

"Thank God Jo stopped that pathetic little pity party." Scott says, his voice full of bile.

(Static)

"That was seriously uncalled for Jo! What could you gain by upsetting Nise?" Giavanna asks, her voice loud with moral protest as she lowers her neck to keep her head in the camera's shot.

(Static)

"Your likely thinking I was too hard on the Baby Rattle. Well tough! I'll admit Cameron outwitted me and respect him for it but I refuse to allow any other nerdy little weaklings to entertain any similar delusions of grandeur. Especially if they may not be entirely delusional." Jo says with firm, like cold iron, conviction.

(Static)

"Jo may be one of the biggest bitches in this series' history, but she's right, Nise's shyness and social awkwardness is a very easy weakness to exploit… which I will fully take advantage of…" Jay says, and then laughs darkly.

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

But the largely collective hatred for Jo and sympathy for Nise were interrupted when a beeper on Kevin starts to, well, beep. Signaling some interns, Kevin had what looked like a bull's-eye target connected to a pole raised by said pole to the top by an elevation system that was the means of connection.

"What's that for, Kevin?" Britney asks her older brother.

"Just setting something up for a bit later…nothing to worry about now. Besides, here come the last three new contestants on the bus." Kevin says while looking in the direction of the bus.

Indeed, three teenagers were coming towards the rest as the bus finally left the empty film studio. In the front of the trio were two girls who were in a discussion that had been happening for a while now. On the left was a shorter girl of Aboriginal descent with short black hair and round onyx eyes who was wearing a purple and violet striped sweater, torn acid-washed jeans with a faded brown belt with a slightly tarnished brass belt buckle, and black and white striped sneakers. On the right was a taller Arabic girl with long, flowing black hair (complete with white headband), almond shaped green eyes, and brown lips who was wearing a red tube top, white jeans, red sneakers, and a gold crucifix necklace around her neck. And picking up the rear of the trio was an Arabic teenage boy who was tall and thin while still being muscular. He had dark brown hair in a mullet and dark brown eyes while wearing a sky-blue T-shirt with a gold crucifix in the centre, Khakis, and brown sandals.

Once the trio got there, Kevin starts introducing all three of them to the other contestants in a manner that was a cross between a game show host and the presenter of a fancy fashion show, "Let's get the introductions out of the way. First, to you left, sporting the torn acid washed jeans, please welcome the lovely lady Solita!" The "lovely lady" just smiled and waved at the others.

"And to you right, please give a warm welcome to that sexy desert flower, Mary!" Kevin says, keeping the same manner and tone of voice. The "sexy desert flower" simply blushes.

"Last, but not least, being in the lucky position of being in-between these ladies, meet Joseph!" Kevin says, in his last usage of this manner of speaking. Like Mary, Joseph only blushes.

After the initial awkwardness of their introductions wore off, the three newest contestants felt much more comfortable. Mary and Solita continued as they were before being introduced, talking about matters of Christianity. They continued talking about this for some time (there was a much longer space of time in between the trio's introduction and the next contestants to come). Unfortunately, they were standing near somebody who didn't exactly have the most patience in the world and had her low amount of patience worn to the breaking point.

"Will ya' stop that Christian Crap already!" Anna Maria shouted as she was spraying her hair. Then Jersey Shore Reject had a wonderfully awful idea. Taking that same can of hairspray, Anna Maria sprays the can's ooze killing contents directly in the face of the closer of the two, Mary.

As the Arabic girl was coughing violently with eyes that were now burning, Anna Maria was laughing…for about five seconds. This was because Solita with moments that shocked everyone punched Anna Maria right in the face. While the Jersey Shore Reject fell, Solita caught the can of hair spray and fired directly into Anna Maria own face.

After the Mary had recovered and Anna Maria left the pair with anger and stinging eyes, Solita and Mary continued talking. As they did, Joseph got to know a few of the other contestants. There was one in particular whom he was hitting it off with well…

"No way dude. I can't believe that's even possible. There's no way that you could not eat for over 200 days!" Owen says to Joseph with a smile despite his disbelief.

"Oh, my mistake. I fear I have misled you Owen." Joseph says with a chuckle at realizing the misunderstanding. "I said that my church fasts for 210 but that doesn't mean we stop eating. What it actually means is that we adhere to what a lot of people would call a vegan diet, meaning that we can't eat meat, fish, eggs, dairy, and other food products that come from animals."

"Oh…I think I get it now. I don't think I could handle that. A lot of my favorite foods come from animals." Owen says before asking, "Is it really, really hard to go without them for so long?"

"You have no idea. I'd be lying if I said there weren't times where I feel like just forsaken my tradition and faith for a double bacon cheeseburger. But then I remember why I'm doing this. It is an exercise in self-denial to weaken the passions that lead to a person's moral corruption." Joseph admits before reaffirming his commitment to his faith.

"That's awesome man! Take it from me, when you die, your going to get some special treatment." Owen says with a smile and genuine encouragement for his newest friend.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Once again, I must be honest, I thought for sure that I was going to hate Owen. With his massive girth, he is without question an avid follower of the deadly sins of gluttony and sloth." Joseph says to the camera before admitting what is actually the case.

"Though his weight and the more important implications of moral failing it carries do bother me a bit, I can't bring my self to hate Owen. Whatever his weaknesses of the flesh, he's a good guy. Not only is he one of the few people that I've encountered since coming to Canada who has a active interest in learning more about my faith but there's not a hint of judging suspicion in him."

(Static)

"Aside from that inappropriate "sexy desert flower" comment and Anna Maria spraying me in the face, I think things are going well. Joseph and me were sure that we'd encounter far greater collective resistance for our beliefs, as we always do. Maybe it was because those most likely to offend aside from Anna Maria us were silenced multiple times before we were introduced? The Lord does work in mysterious ways. Plus I think I've formed a good start of a friendship with Solita." Mary says to the Confessional with unexpected graduate at the good fortune shown.

(Static)

"I was fortunate in having the inspiration to start talking to Mary on the bus. By appearing along side the faithful Christians, some of there assumed moral righteous washed off onto little old me. While I do want to forge a friendship with Mary, this gives me another great advantage. After all, who would ever imagine that their elimination from this game was engineered by the orphan girl whose friends with the pious Christians?" Solita says with a sinister smile on her face.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"So Kevin, does this mean that the introductions are finally over?" Noah asks.

"Not quite yet Noah. I said those were the last three to be introduced on the bus. There are still two contestants that need to be introduced. And if my watch is correct, the first of those two should be just about here. In anticipation of his arrival, allow me to ask you all, shall we dance?" Kevin says as he looks at his watch trying to fight a grin slowly creeping up on his face.

For about thirty seconds, there was only silence and shared awkward stares for the contestants.

But then a sound started to be heard in the air. It started in low but then it started to grow. It was the sounds a grand operatic score with different instruments foreshadowing some great arrival. A few of the more musically educated (Noah, Giavanna, Erebus, Nise) started to recognize it. Carlyle developed a vast grin, he had a feeling what this music was and why it was being played.

And Carlyle's feelings would be proven correct as a military helicopter came flying above them with external speakers blaring Richard Wagner's classic music piece, the _Ride of the Valkyries_!

As the helicopter made its descent not too far away from the teens, the stirring voices of opera singers playing the female warriors of the Norse gods and clouds of kicked up dust filled the air. The music roaring in their ears and the dust flying in their eyes made the teens briefly powerless.

Once the helicopter left seconds after arriving, their sight and hearing returned to them. It was then that the contestants saw what the helicopter had dropped off, who is dropped off, actually. He was a white skinned male of average height and build with both a beard and moustache of five o' clock shadow along with bright yellow eyes similar to Erebus' but not exactly the same. In terms of clothing he wore an army cameo vest with a bright red shirt underneath it, grey pants, a tan cowboy hat, and a dog tag necklace. Noticing that he has a black glove and watch on his right hand, the other teenagers notice that his hands are on his hips as he is surveying them all.

Despite the epic entrance, this person says to them all in the most normal of voices possible, "Hi, I'm Rob. Nice to meet you all."

After the initial clash of the epic entrance contrasting with the simple introduction wore off, Mathieu asks, "What the Hell Kevin? Why does G.I. Joe here get such a elaborate introduction?"

"Feeling a little upstaged, uh Mathieu?" Kevin says with a smirk before explaining, "While very elaborate compared with the rest of your introductions, I thought this was the best way to show why we chose Rob to be one of the contestants in this season of Total Drama."

"And what would that be?" Nanon asks.

"I'm glad you asked." Kevin says before pressing a button. Pressing said button lowered the target that was raised before the introductions of Mary, Joseph, and Solita. Once lowered, everyone saw that the previously undamaged target now had seven bullets holes on the bull's-eye, which formed a smiley face with five holes forming the smile and the other two the eyes.

"As you can see, there are seven bullet holes in this target and none of them were there when the target was raised. Rob placed all seven of them while flying on the helicopter that brought him. As this hopefully shows, Rob is an extremely skilled sniper who's in the American military." Kevin says.

Everyone else looks at Rob with varying degrees of awe on their faces.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Truth be told. I wasn't entirely comfortable with such a dramatic reveal. Its just so out of my element, I'm far more comfortable being unseen in the shadows as I get the job done quickly. But hopefully I left a good impression on others. To make it I need to find a strong platoon." Rob says to the Confessional camera in a down to earth yet calculating manner.

(Static)

"I think I'm going to like Rob! Anyone who references _Apocalypse Now_ in such a badass way is good in my book any day!" Carlyle says with unhidden excitement at the epic movie reference.

(Static)

Ari is seen writing on her notepad and she shows to the camera what she has written, _"Though I know my skills are impressive, I think I just found someone here who is my equal. Excellent!"_

(Static)

"Ok, I'm not entirely sure how but I KNOW I need to get Rob in my alliance pronto!" Jay exclaims, deeply impressed.

(Static)

Izzy is still humming the music of _Ride of the Valkyries _as she sings in unison with that music, "Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Before I bring most of you to meet the final contestant, I must address something that can't be ignored. I'm new to this show so I have to ask… does a narcoleptic monkey run this show!?" Kevin asks the contestants who aren't entirely sure if that's meant to be a rhetorical question.

"What the Hell am I suppose to do with a guy on crutches and another whose trapped in wheelchair!?" Kevin shouted in loud confusion before calming down enough to say in a normal voice, "Alejandro and Scott, I must disqualify you both because you're incapable of competing."

Aside from a single voice of protest from Jay, pretty much everyone else cheered at this news. Both Alejandro and Scott were very noticeably (and understandably) pissed off about this news. But then Kevin explained more of what was going to happen.

"You will be taken somewhere where you will be completely healed of your remaining physical injuries. When you are back to the statuses you had before the accidents occurred on this show, you will be placed back into the game. Given the degree of your injuries, this likely means that you will not re-enter the game until much further down the road.

"While I'd personally like to kick you two out of the game right now, I must give you a fair shot. Try to think of it like this. Aside from Jay and maybe one or two others, you two are easily both the most hated contestants for what you did in pervious seasons. On top of that, you are both far less physically useful than you were before your injuries. If placed in the game now as you are, there's very little reason to believe that you wouldn't be the first ones eliminated no matter what. Do you two understand what I mean?"

After thinking about it for a few seconds, Alejandro and Scott understood that everything Kevin just said made perfect sense and was ultimately going to be the best option for them.

Kevin summons some interns and says to them, "Ok, you guys, get these two to know where."

"Do you mean the **secret location** sir?" One of the interns asked Kevin.

"No, I mean the lollipop factory...OF COURSE I MEAN **THE SECRET LOCATION!** Which by the way, is no longer a secret is it jackass?!" Kevin shouted again before sighing in defeat. "I guess its fine though, not only will they not tell me where it is but also what the Hell its even for. Just get those two out of here, so they can start the long and painful healing process."

With that, two of the most vile and hated of the show's contestants were taken away…for now.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Well, that's half of my first objective already done before the first challenge even started." Harold says very pleased.

(Static)

Francisco is seen with his hands clamped together and happily sending up grateful prayers in rapid Spanish.

(Static)

"I'm very pleased with how this turned out. Not only is Scott out of the game but also he will be healed. Though pleased at the time, I've come to realize that what happened to him was so cruel. Maybe the healing process of their bodies will make both Alejandro and Scott better people when they return?" Dawn says to the camera with hope in her voice.

(Static)

"While the immediate benefits to this are obvious, I think this is ultimately going to be a possibly bitter-sweet development. Despite them not being here, when they return they will be at their physical primes and likely more mentally refreshed than the rest of us will be when they come back. However, as Kevin said, pretty everyone except that Jay guy don't like or trust either one. Even if there bodies are better nourished then the rest of ours will be, they'll have few allies. But with their return inevitable and their biggest fan boy still here, there's no reason to breathe easy." Noah says to the camera, his voice is full of cynical understanding and reasonable concerns.

(Static)

"Despite this being a major setback for the moment, this could be what makes the game for me. Once they come back into the game, I know that Scott and Alejandro will not hesitate to join me. Regardless of whenever they come back into the game, they'll be friendless and obvious targets. And if there added to my alliance, no matter how big or small it is by then, it will much stronger. As long as I stay in the game until their return, the likelihood of me winning is so much greater." Jay says to the camera, his is voice is full of optimistic understanding and reasonable hopes.

(Static)

"I hope you all sleep with one eye open because when I come back, YOU'LL ALL WISH YOU HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!" Scott shouts at the camera with his volcanic hatred unhidden.

(Static)

"Shocking as this may be, I see nothing but good things coming out of this for me. Hopefully by the time I'm brought back most of them will already be eliminated or exhausted. I know that aside from Scott and that Jay guy I have no friends or allies to draw upon. But if I'm brought by the merge, I should be able to power my way though all of hatred towards me to final victory." Alejandro says in a calm voice that betrays the villainous maelstrom storming loudly within him.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

With that all of the contestants (minus Alejandro, Scott, and the last one to be revealed) followed Kevin through the abandoned film studio that would be the location of Total Drama's 5th season. It was pretty much exactly as it was during Total Drama Action. Apart from it become slightly crappier from a period of not being used that equaled more than a year, there were only three different details worthy of note.

The first was that instead of two sets of trailers, there were three (because of their likely being three teams instead of two with the large amount of people present and more hinted at for later). The second was that the craft and service tent that served as the mess hall was at least triple the size it was for Total Drama Action (again likely to accommodate the greater number of people). But it was the last difference that was the most striking and would prove to be the most vital. Smack dab in the center of the film studio lot was a massive and imposing black building. Every single visible surface was covered in thick black glass that could not be seen through. If Death or the Devil (which ever is more frightening to you) created a building, this would be the design.

Naturally, several people asked Kevin what that building was. The new host only says this, "You'll find out soon enough but I'll say this much. Apart from the new contestants, **everything** that makes this season different from all of the others is hidden behind that thick black glass."

As they continued on their way, some looked back at the black building and wondered.

"And here's the expanded Crafts and Services Tent where…" Kevin starts to say once there inside said tent turned mess hall area until…

* * *

**CRAAASSSSHHHHH!**

A loud crashing from the kitchen interrupted Kevin's restating the obvious (which you already know, dear reader). Two voices, one that everyone knew and one that no one knew, followed from the other side of the closed doors that led to the actual kitchen faculties of this eating area.

"Boy! Don't you dare be smashing any more of my good kitchen supplies!" The voice everyone knew shouts.

"They have it coming, greasy one! Their Chinese creators and masters cannot save them now! The pots seek to humiliate me because of my choice of hat!" The voice no one knew shouts.

"But your not wearing a hat? And you smashed a kettle?"

"Exactly! But the pots still desire to embarrass me and frankly they encourage the kettles!"

"I think Kevin's finally on the other side. Go pester him and the other kids, crazy boy!"

"JAWOHL! Then I'll leave you, pawn of the pots and crony of the kettles. Hahahaha!"

About two seconds after that, a sound like that of someone jumping up into the air was heard. About three seconds later, a familiar face, of a familiar black and often-angry cook appears.

"Kevin! You might be a Hell of a lot better than Chris and you might actually pay me but you can't do this! You can't leave my kitchen to be ransacked by some kind of…!" Chef Hatchet shouts before Kevin interrupts him with, "Mr. Hatchet, I understand your outrage but please control yourself. I'll make sure you are reimbursed for whatever he might have damaged."

This was enough to get the angry chef to stop shouting because unlike Chris MacLean, Kevin would actually make good on promises like that. Satisfied, Chef returns to the kitchen

"Ok, so we have one last contestant to reveal and let me just say…we outdid ourselves with this one!" Kevin says returning his attention to the teens with a mix of fear for said contestant and anticipation for the ratings boosting reactions of those who had to compete against the wacko!

"What do you mean outdid yourselves with **this** one?" Noah asked in confusion while thinking to himself, _'A seven foot tall girl, a ninja, a girl with one arm, a military sniper, a possibly psychotic poet, and the siblings of both Gwen and Heather weren't enough for you!?'_

"You see kiddies…" Kevin began, ignoring Noah's question, "…as you likely know, Chris MacLean had one of the biggest egos I've ever encountered in all of my years in show business. An ego so massive that the U.N. could have regarded it as an independent nation! Does anyone disagree with that statement?"

Not a single person there, old contestant or new, offered any objection to that claim.

"Very good. Now then, it's because of that nation sized ego that he actually put into his contract with the studio a 'Chris clause', saying that," Kevin said before taking out a piece of paper and reading a line from it saying, "…no season of Total Drama can take place in this or any other universe, even one ruled by any "ant overlords" who I offer my allegiances to, without the involvement of a individual human male type person called Chris or be at great risk of…"

After pausing for a second to stop reading, Kevin withdrew the piece of paper and continued talking to the contestants who were rightly confused on so many levels, "But thankfully Chris never said it had to be Chris MacLean, only a "individual human male type person called Chris". So basically any male in anyway named Chris would do. And with that, and a confused prayer to whatever God could be twisted enough to make him…I present to you the final contestant of **"Total Drama, What Is Real?"**…Chris!"

"It will be rain tonight." A voice says, the voice that nobody knew from the kitchen. But this voice wasn't coming from the kitchen. It was now coming from…

**ABOVE! **

"Let it come down!" A shape shouts as it falls from the tent's top to the other contestants.

Landing his feet and seemingly un-phased by the drop, Chris adds, "The multiplying villainies of nature do swarm upon him…" to conclude a set of quotes from William Shakespeare's _Macbeth_.

The other contestants simply stared at this person, this Chris. Even given some of the others seen so far today, very little could have prepared them for a sight such as this for the final contestant.

For one thing, not an inch of skin was visible; almost every physical feature was covered by dark cloth. The most notice of which was the forest green body suit with covered his upper and lower body. His gloves and shoes were both equally black and intimidating. A long black cloak draped his figure from behind, exposing a sky blue satin lining. But it was the face, the mask that drew the eye the most. This mask wasn't the white, smiling "Comedy" mask from his audition tape. Instead, this mask was a fiery Hellish red with a large furrowed brow and a darker red used on the crow's feet near the glaring, golden eyes and on the temples of the head. Along with this fierce scowling face there was the metallic gold fanglike teeth and snarling mouth. The overall effect was a mask that could put anyone on edge with its extreme agitation and masculine rage.

And that's exactly what this mask, the whole person of Chris actually did, put everyone on edge.

As all of the other contestants stared at this enigma, Chris seemed to ignore them and says, "I must take some offense to that Kevin, not for myself but for things twisted. You imply that twisted is automatically wrong. Does that mean that to you pretzels, twisted dough, are wrong?"

Kevin, knowing better than to answer such an absurd question, didn't say anything to Chris. Likely expecting this, the Enigma began to slowly look at all of the others present in silence.

"I see that quite a few of you people in this room have the male husband bulge, especially the women! I respect that…unlike those pots with their plans and those kettles with their coups. Unlike those cold containers I'm sure you see the error in believing that there are no centaurs at Oxford." Chris finally says to those who would be competing against him.

Then Chris placed both hands over the demon mask's mouth as he let out a light chuckle as he says, "LOL! Please forgive me; I forgot that I was wearing such a Faustian fitting face cover. Allow me to remove this and present to you my actual face."

Chris did take off the demon mask but he didn't show them his true face. Instead what they now saw was a smaller version of the "Comedy" theater mask that Chris wore during his audition tape. Despite this, Chris acted like his face was exposed as he breathed deeply before saying, "AH! That's better, so much less restricting and dishonest. Anyway, you all know my true face. Now that we are all on a first name basis, you may all validate my reality by calling me Chris."

Again, everyone just stared at Chris is absolute silence, mostly out of fear or confusion.

"Surely you must think of me as some matter of masked murderous madman. While I can't deny the first and third of those three "M" words, the two with six letters, I'm not the middle "M" word. I assure you all that I mean you all no harm and that as docile as a newborn baby, but much cuter. As a gesture of good will, would you do me the honor a simple, warm handshake?" Chris says as he extents one of his black glove covered hands to Jay, the closest person.

Looking at this masked figure with understandable confusion, Jay shook Chris' hand.

"That's the spirit my horse haired hombre! I'd just to reiterate that I mean you no ha…" Chris starts to say while shaking Jay's before…

**CRASH!**

Still shaking Jay's hand, countless knives fell out of Chris' other sleeve and crashed to the floor.

Despite that Chris acts as if nothing happened as he keeps shaking Jay's hand. Three or four more sets of over two-dozen knives each fall out of Chris' other sleeve. Chris still didn't notice.

Only after the fourth or fifth grouping of knives fall didn't Chris finally look at them, "Um, that's odd. I can't imagine what's keeping that cof…?"

**CLANG!**

Suddenly a coffee pot fell from the same sleeve as the possibly hundreds of knives.

"Ah, that's where it got to. But where's the **cream**? There's a funny moral in that horsehair one. Two mice fell into a bucket of **cream**. One drowned. The other one struggled…until he drowned. The moral of the story is to not fall into a bucket of **cream**." Chris says, emphasizing **"cream"**.

No one, especially Jay, dared say a word to one who clearly wasn't all there in the head, if at all.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Izzy's just been corrected…NOW Izzy's found a new best friend!" The wild redhead enthusiastically proclaimed before adding, "Between Chris, Erebus, Noah, and maybe Owen, Izzy's gonna have a great season!"

(Static)

"Those unknowing slaves trapped in the chains of rationale must believe Chris to be mad. But for a kindred spirit of chaos such as myself, he will bring so many thrills to be had!" Erebus said to the camera in poetic verse as he praised one who filled most with fear.

(Static)

"I don't mean to be racist y'all but Chris is so crazy he's gotta be white!" Leshawna exclaimed.

(Static)

"Chris is what happens when you combine Elton John's fashion sense with Izzy's insanity, with a little bit of Lost-calibre what the fuckery…who, or what the Hell is this guy?!" Jay exclaimed in confused alarm.

(Static)

"Trained by the Army, I've been trained to fear no man, but that **thing**…it scares me." Rob said, his normally coincident confidence cracked.

(Static)

"No, I ain't-I ain-I ain't talking about that freak, alright?!" Anna Maria exclaimed to the camera.

(Static)

"One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask? What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?" Noah asked the Confessional with genuine wonder.

(Static)

Chris, still wearing the same costume and mask as before, is happily singing the song, "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows" made by Lesley Gore in 1965.

"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,

Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,

Brighter than a lucky penny,

When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,

And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.

My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,

That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Kevin stares into space in total horror until he realizing that he's being filmed. "Uh…yeah. That's really something Chris. Anyway…there you have it viewers! All of the contestants have been introduced, whether original or first timer. Tune in next team to see what teams will be formed from these lump of clay and what first challenge will be the fire that hardened or cracks them. Right here, on…**TOTAL DRAMA, WHAT IS REAL!**"

* * *

**Co-author's note**

**And there you have it; every contestant initially promised has been seen and heard! True some were seen and heard much more than others but we will make the effort to give all of the characters a fair shot as long as they are in the game. **

**Remember, not everything will be as it seems in terms of character interactions so far. Some things (friendships, romances, rivalries) will not be as they are hinted at here but others will be exactly as they are hinted at here. You'll have to see which are which. **

**Here's a quick cheat sheet for the 18 OCs in this story (in the order int****roduced here):**

**1. Giavanna the Tall Bombshell;**

**2. Damian the Hellraiser;**

**3. Jay the Puppetmaster;**

**4. Melody the Mirror Image;**

**5. Erebus the ****Machiavellian Poet;**

**6. ****Francisco the Tattoo Artist;**

**7. Ari the Ninja;**

**8. Greg the Prankster;**

**9. Nanon the One Armed Girl;**

**10. Carlyle the Cinefile;**

**11. ****Mathieu the Magician, **

**12. Britney the Famous Singer;**

**13. Nise the Quantum Physicist to Be; **

**14. Solita the Orphan; **

**15. Mary the Female Religious Wacko;**

**16. Joseph the Male Religious Wacko;**

**17. Rob the Sharpshooter; and…**

**18. Chris the Enigma. **

**Order of Elimination: Alejandro (for now); Scott (for now). **

**One last thing before ending this long introduction chapter. So, we are very interested in hearing what you all think of the OCs, their interactions with the original contestants, your thoughts about what's being set up in the story, and how the chapter was written over-all.**

**Sincerely, Rufus T. Serenity**

**Co-author's note:**

**I must give credit to my friend Rufus T. Serenity for his most excellent editing and writing, and if you want to check out more of our work, I recommend Rufus' fanfic, "Mad Mikey", you will not be disappointed!**

**As for my work, there are my "Aftermath" stories, Ezekiel's Return and his Deal with a She-devil, Sam and Dakota and the price of Fame, and Scott's Recovery and his plea to Dawn. Of Course, these are all lead-ups to my (solo) main event, TOTAL DRAMA ALL-STARS!**

**So please read, review, and spread the word! **

**Sincerely,**

**James, TheGunmaster.**

**Nanon, Erebus, Chris, Mathieu, Britney, Giavanna, and Rob all belong to Rufus, Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me, while every other OC and the storyline belongs to CRGGL... Thanks for the Ideas man!**


	3. What is Real? Episode 2 Part II

**Total Drama What is Real? Episode 2 part 2: Friendships, rivalries, and teams are formed.**

* * *

After the introduction of the last contestant, Kevin had said now he was going to see what it was decided that the teams would be. With the new host gone, most of the contestants began talking to each other at an outdoor area not too far from the Crafts and Services Tent that had benches and tables for people to sit on or at. They had broken off into small groups of varying sizes with the aims of either re-establishing previously forged friendships or creating all new ones.

One such cluster was Cody, Giavanna, and Noah who were sitting on a bench. The three of them were able to very quickly establish that they shared some overlapping interests (preferences in movies, a love of classic literature, and many aspects of geek culture). Inwardly gushing, Giavanna maintained a calm façade as she spoke of her college offers.

"Wow! You've already been accepted into six major universities? Awesome!" Cody says in happy surprise sitting to the left of the Tall Bombshell.

"Indeed. I'm seriously impressed Giavanna." Noah commented (a rare gesture for him) from her right side. "But I'm curious, if you're so smart, why did you sign up for this show? Why did you volunteer for this madness after seeing what we have endured?"

Giavanna started to twill some of her long red hair with her right pointer finger while trying (but greatly struggling) to not look at Noah as she answered.

"Well there are a couple of reasons. But one of the biggest ones was to meet you…" Giavanna started to say as she started to find her eyes staring at Noah and feeling the arrows of social awkwardness, "…uh…I mean you guys! Both of you! Cody and Noah!"

"Really? You wanted to meet us?" Cody asks, smiling despite the awkwardness at the notion that a girl as attractive and nice as this one actually wanted to meet him.

"Yes. I've been watching Total Drama since the very beginning and you two were always at the top of my favourites. Actually, many girls in my town are also your fans. But those girls and I never see things eye to eye." Giavanna says, releasing a brief light chuckle. But then her face started to develop an expression of sadness.

"So, in what way is that?" Noah says, trying to break the silence.

"Um…oh, right! Well, most of them thought you two were gay but I never saw that. I never understood how one kiss on the ear while asleep was supposed to show a gay couple?"

Cody and Noah said nothing. They stared at each other from each of Giavanna's sides. To say it was silent would fail to convey just how devoid of noise it actually was.

As the lack of noise greater than silence continued for what seemed like forever, Giavanna had started growing more and more anxious and worried. She was pleading frantically in her own mind. Did she do something wrong! Did she say something stupid! Did she offend…?

**"FINALLY!"** Both Cody and Noah exclaimed in unison with the most genuine of voices possible (this was the first time Noah ever used such a voice in his whole life). As they shouted in the fullest joy they could, both of the much shorter guys wrapped their arms around Giavanna's sitting body. Though they didn't technically reach around her whole body, they did cover a large majority of it with their combined bodies and arms. With their heads just under her massive breasts (the tops of their heads brushed up against the bottoms), the two gave the gigantic girl the tightest hug both could give her. Squeezing her as hard as they could in instinctual graduate, Cody and Noah shouted again in happy unison, "**FINALLY! FINALLY ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS!"**

Almost as if in fear that if they let go they would loss this only indicator of a girl who was a fan of theirs but NOT a supporter of NoCo, the two much shorter geeks keep Giavanna as the middle of a man sandwich for at least several minutes, likely longer.

Though her initial reaction was one of shock, which was quickly replaced by another. What comes to dominate her face is an expression of absolute and perfect ecstasy. They could have stayed this way for hours and Giavanna never would have complained once.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Ok. Seriously…why wasn't it Giavanna who joined World Tour instead of Sierra! She's not only beautiful, smart, and kind but she's not a crazy stalker who uses my toothbrush and takes my clothes! In other words, she's a fan I'd have liked to have met a lot sooner!" Cody says, still bursting about the realization that he has at least one sane fan that doesn't see him as gay.

(Static)

"Ok. Seriously…why did it take this long? Fangirls, why are there not more of you like that!?" Noah says to the camera, his appreciation for Giavanna overwhelmed by his contempt for the rest of the fangirls who have become the bane of his existence for years.

(Static)

"Ok. Seriously…wow. I've always thought that Cody and Noah were really cute. And no guy has ever hugged me outside of my family before. So, is it any shock that being hugged by them was the best moment of my life! Oh thank you, God! Woohoo!" Giavanna says with shocked awe quickly replaced by unrestrained, adorable jubilation.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Another big group that had formed a little distance away from the man-sandwich with the larger middle was Jay, Damian, DJ and Greg all talking with one another while sitting at a table.

"So, you're a DJ huh Greg? Interesting." Jay says intrigued by what the Prankster had said.

"How so?" DJ (the teenager who was a "DJ" by name and not by hoped for future career) asks curious to Jay.

"I'm a singer-songwriter myself. That's part of the reason I'm here, to get my music career off the ground." Jay replies smiling.

"I feel the same way, that's why I'm here, and to see how I can do on Total Drama. Hey, I might even win!" Greg exclaims.

"Anything's possible." Damian says with considerable dispassion in his voice.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"With the way this game's gonna go, you'll have no chance Greg. Sorry to be a wet blanket, but I'm in it to win it…at ANY cost!" Jay exclaims with a look of grim determination on his face.

(Static)

"Somehow, I just don't think Greg is going to make it very far, not with the mutual hate-on with Duncan. That punk-wannabe asshole will sabotage him at every turn. Cody and Jay can't always be there. I actually feel sorry for him." Damian says, shaking his head in pity at Greg's plight.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"So Damian, why are you here?" Greg asks.

"That's an easy question. My sister Heather is a massive cunt of the highest order! She soiled my family's name, and I'm here to prove that not all of my family is like her." Damian says, with angry venom dripping from his voice at his contempt for his sister and the damage she's done.

"Well, that's as good a reason as any." Jay says to Damian with understanding.

"Though your sister Melody might make that difficult." DJ says to Damian with concern.

Damian rolls his eyes, and then glares at his sister, who's sitting at the next table over with Erebus before answering DJ angrily. "Yeah, Mel's always been much closer to Heather than I've ever been. She sees her approach as a sound strategy to win this game, and I don't."

"Yeah, that kind of attitude cost Heather big-time in the long-run… cost her every ally and friend she had after coming so close." Jay says thoughtfully.

"Agreed, it cost me everything too." Damian says as he slams his head on the table in despair before he raises his head and adding with the deflation clear in the tone of his voice. "Can we please stop talking about Heather now? It's… a very depressing subject to me."

"Sure, no problem buddy." Jay says as he pats Damian's back, trying to comfort his friend.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Honestly, Heather's strategy wasn't bad…but her sheer callousness ruined everything for her. Initially she had the right idea though. Form an alliance, and let them do the dirty work for you. Justin worked along similar lines, but they chose possibly two of the dumbest and weakest competitors in Total Drama history, Lindsay and…" Jay says before adding with a shudder "…Beth."

"Heather and Justin were ultimately idiots. And while Alejandro and Scott's approaches to the game were better, they were one-dimensional and flawed, leaving them few friends and allies when they needed them most. I will not make the same mistakes they all did. I'll only drop my "allies" when they cease to be useful and/or they try to betray me." Jay states matter-of-factly.

"Damian, Greg, and DJ are a great start, but I need more. They should be able to get more to become my pawns without even realizing it but even that will not be enough. Any alliance, however well maintained or strong, will ultimately back fire because they are always small and confided to single team. For me to reach the winner's circle and that cool double mil, I'll need a big, multi-teamed one. Once the teams are formed, I'll be able to gauge what people on the other teams are worthy of being a part of my grand alliance. Either way, I'll find a way to pull Melody and Rob into my loop, though it will likely not be easy. Scott and Al will join me eventually. With all of them plus a few of the people to come later on my side…there's no way I can lose!" Jay says, smiling thoughtfully and evilly.

(Static)

"God, I HATE Heather!" Damian screams angrily. "At least she's not here, but I still have Mel to deal with." Damian says, switching from angry scream to sad sigh before face palming his own face.

(Static)

"Man, being Heather's Bro sucks yo, but I've got my own cancer to deal with named Duncan!" Greg says, the anger seething out his voice before his tone is a combination of sadness and rage. "I REALLY don't get his deal. I'm just like his buddy Geoff yo, except I'm smarter! So why in the hell does he hate me so much?!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Very close to this party of four that was Jay, DJ, Greg, and Damian was…another party of four! This one was made up of Solita, Mary, Joseph and Owen.

"Wow, so you guys are originally all the way from Egypt?!" Owen exclaims in wonder.

"Yes, we are from Egypt. We lost a lot there… but it made us stronger." Joseph replies with some sadness in his voice.

"I lost my mom and…" Mary starts to say but then she begins to cry profusely.

Joseph hugs her as he says "It's okay, we're in a better place now."

"Mary, I'm so sorry. Joey has already told me what he went through…that's brutal." Owen says with sympathy in his voice.

"At least you guys had parents. I have no idea who mine are…" Solita says with a hint of jealous anger in her voice.

"WHAT?!" Joseph, Owen, and Mary exclaim.

"Yeah, been in an orphanage all my life. Even my name "Solita" is the Spanish word for "Alone", nice huh?" Solita says disgusted, the bitterness just dripping from her voice.

"Oh Lord, I'm so sorry Solita…I had no idea." Mary says sympathetically.

"Don't worry guys; I'll be here for all of you!" Owen exclaims, and traps all three in a massive suffocating bear hug. "Owen had plenty of love to share. **FEEL THE LOVE FRIENDS!"**

"Owen… you're… suffocating us!" Joseph says. Mary and Solita would have agreed with they could have gotten enough oxygen into their collapsing lungs to have said those same words.

Owen releases the three of them and scratches the back of his head sheepishly while blushing with embarrassment as he says, "Sorry, I really don't know my own strength sometimes."

"It's okay Owen, we all do that sometimes." Joseph says.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Seriously, her name is "Alone" in Spanish?! How tasteless!" Mary states, completely disgusted. "I really hope the person who named her lost their job and…" She then gasps, and pulls out her prayer beads and prays for forgiveness for having such a wrath filled thought.

(Static)

"Joey huh? I don't mind it, could always be worse." Joseph says, shrugging his shoulders.

(Static)

"Wow… Joey, Mary, and poor Solita have had some of the most brutally sad lives I've ever heard… they really need some more love." Owen says sadly before his face brightens up as he happily exclaims, "And I'm just the man for the job!"

(Static)

"Hmmm… looks like I have some friends to fall back on when I need them…" Solita says with the realization of what that actually means then hits her and she smiles for the first time in years. "I've never felt like this before, never felt people having concern for me. It feels nice."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

As the three rookies with sad pasts basked in the massive warmth of Owen's love, another trinity of contestants was conversing with each other. Surprisingly, it was Duncan, Jo, and Anne Maria.

"Ok, I don't like you guys. In fact, I think you two are the most cutthroat, ruthless, and callous b***hes this this show has EVER seen." Duncan says to Jo and Anne Maria.

"Ya got a point punk, or ya gonna keep badmouthing us?" Anne Maria asks.

"No, I'm just saying that none of us are popular right now for various reasons…"

"Just what are you getting at now?!" Jo snaps impatiently.

"All Right, all right you crazy ho! Anyway… we SHOULD join forces to keep ourselves from being knocked off. Because now that Al and Scott gone, we're the three most hated people here. So… deal?" Duncan asks through gritted teeth.

The Jockette and Jersey Shore Reject don't even have to think about it.

"It's a deal" Jo replies.

"What' evar gets me to the winner's circle. I'm in" Anne Maria replies.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Why do I feel like I made a devil's deal with those two harpies?" Duncan asks, worried. He sighs and says, "But it's become clear that I have no choice. Jo and Anna Maria are the only people who I know for sure will be willing to work in an alliance with me. And I want one bad! So many people are already gunning for me. If Doris (Harold), Giant girl (Giavanna), Bookworm (Noah), Geek (Cody), Party Dork (Greg), She Male (Justin), and my less awesome hawked counterpart (Jay) have their way, I'll be taken out of this game after first challenge for sure."

Duncan then screams in frustration, **"GODDAMNITT! I HATE THIS BULLSHIT!"**

(Static)

"The stink of desperation is so pungent on Duncan that people can smell it for miles… and I'll twist that to my advantage." Jo says smiling viciously.

(Static)

"Hey y'all, I don't give a flyin' fuck what the punk did in his spare time! All I know is plenty of people hate me 'cause of last season… fuck Mike and his "funny characters"! Anna Maria screams in rage before saying deflated, "So I'll take whatever I can get if it means I can win."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

On the rim of the groupings of assembled teenagers were two people on the rim of sanity itself. With everyone else either scared beyond reason or engaged with other people, they were alone. They were kindred spirits, agents of kind-hearted chaos and mostly harmless insanity (maybe?).

Right now the rookie agent of chaos and insanity, a masked madman named Chris, was sharing the latest in a long series of exchanged chucklesome anecdotes with the original agent, Izzy.

"Oh ho ho! No more, haa haa ha ha ha!" Izzy struggled to say in between full-hearted laughter.

"Wait, wait, it gets even better!" Chris says while showing one of his gloved hands in an attempt to get Izzy to allow him to finish his story. "After I fired myself out of the cannon and flying through the smog and pigeon feces being dropped in my home city, I crashed into the kitchen of a Mexican restaurant and said 'I claim this land for Spain…and Montezuma's Revenge'!"

Chris bursts out into total laughter, shortly followed by Izzy possibly surpassing him in laughter. Finally calming down after several minutes of non-stop laughter between the two of them, Chris added, "Anyway…that's how my audition tape ended for the show. Heh!"

"Dude, your so awesome! You actually make Izzy feel conservative and boring. All Izzy did for her audition tape was roll her eyes in the back of her head and double joint both of her elbows." Izzy says to Chris.

"Don't sell your self short my emerald clothed whirlwind of red hair and awesome! Remember when you spoke to that camel in Egypt? I was floored by what you said to that unworthy camel. The passion, the poetry, the impassioned wisdom about the political power of the camel humps! I don't cry easily but I was like a little lady dog, something about humps gets me all weepy like." Chris says, combining absurd and wild passion with genuine tenderness.

"Yay, verily, yay! You're, like, Izzy's best friend now!" Izzy cheered, hugging Chris tightly.

"Happy thoughts! With you and the voices and imagined altered historical figures in my head, Chris has the very bestest of acquaintances!" Chris gushed, retuning Izzy's tight hug in full.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Izzy likes Chris! He's cool, fun, and knows how to have a good time…with massive amounts of property damage! And what is more important in a friend than seeing the value of camel humps?" Izzy says, clearly ecstatic at finding someone on a similar mental wavelength to herself.

(Static)

"I'm very pleased to say that Izzy is just as awesome as I hoped she was from watching the show! It's so very rare to find somebody who is willing to turn the horse of sanity into glue!" Chris says in an adoring and loud voice before speaking in a bit of a lower key tone (for a bit).

"And isn't sanity just a one trick pony, anyway? I mean all you get is a single trick…rational thinking. But your good and stark raving mad, hn heh hne ahhne wheeye he hoo-hoo, the sky's the limit! No wait, that was too rational! The air panda's blue bellbottoms are the limit! Oh yes, much better! It is more starved of sanity and so very stylish beneath the panda's bellbottoms!"

(Static)

"So, I saw Izzy hugging that Chris guy…but I'm not worried. After all, there's no way Izzy would have any interest in a guy who's just as wacky and wild as she is…right?" Owen asks with the doubt and concern in his voice is unquestionable despite his best efforts to hide them.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Alright Kiddies! I'm back!" Kevin says as he walks towards the gathered contestants.

"You never left moron!" Duncan sneers.

Ignoring Duncan, Kevin exclaims, "It's now time for you guys to be separated into teams… there's gonna be three this year!"

"Yay…" Melody exclaims sarcastically.

"First up is… Harold, sigh Duncan, Cody, Mathieu, Britney, Anne Maria, Ari, Leshawna, Francisco, Jo and Staci… you are the **Pummeling Polygons!**"

"Great…." Duncan says sarcastically. Harold, Leshawna, and Cody glare at him.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Wonderful. I'm on the same team as Geek, Doris and his ghetto girl, the Human Fireball, and the snobby pop princess… FUCK!" Duncan yells, voice shaking with rage before saying, "It could've been worse I guess. Party Dork and She Male could've been on the team… so yeah."

(Static)

"Well, I'm on the same team with the one person in this world I hate the most… DUNCAN!" Harold yells. "Gosh God, why do you have to be so harsh on me? Two seasons weren't enough?"

(Static)

"Huh, this could work… I have my two pawns lined up on the same squad… this is too perfect! Cody, Harold, and that fat piece of crap Leshawna will not last long if I have anything to say about it! And once those three are gone, I'll pretty much rule this team!" Jo says, smiling evilly.

(Static)

Ari writes on his/her note pad, and presents it to the camera: _"You put me on the same team as Jo and Anne Maria…why?! Even though Jo might prove to be a worthy challenge, she is still a royal bitch! While Anna Maria is just a bitch!"_

(Static)

"My feelings are pretty mixed about my teammates. True that I think I'll get along swimmingly with Cody and Harold and could maybe become friends with Leshawna, Francisco, and Ari…but then there's everyone else, whose either a first class jerk or likely to get on my nerves very fast. Thankfully I'm a magician and therefore I have a knack for making things, like jerks, disappear." Mathieu says to camera with a look of contemplation before developing a large grin on his face.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Okay now that that's over with… on to the next team. Noah, Giavanna, Damian, Solita, Dawn, Nise, Mary, Owen, Joseph, Izzy and Sadie… you are **the Assaulting Avatars!**" Kevin exclaims.

"Wha-What?! Why aren't me and Katie on the same team?" Sadie asks, horrified.

"Simple, the two of you are way too annoying together. The producers and big-wigs specifically requested that I personally made sure you two would be on separate teams." Kevin says coldly.

Katie and Sadie start to protest angrily, but then DJ and Jay step in.

"Think about it this way, the reason you both got eliminated from your team is because your teammates found you annoying and insufferable together. Maybe separated you will be able to convince everyone of your worth?" Jay says.

"He does have a point you two." DJ says in support.

"Okay, I'm willing to let this slide… for you DJ." Katie says, smiling at DJ warmly. They both blush, though DJ wasn't entirely sure why.

"Anything to win right?" Sadie asks warmly.

"Exactly." Jay replies with a grin on his face.

Sadie blushes as she looks at Jay. He looks at her, and smiles while being horrified on the inside.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Katie and Sadie are sitting in the Confessional together, vowing to be together whenever able.

"Well, they DO have a point Sadie… maybe this is for the best?" Katie says.

"Sigh… yeah, you're lucky though. You got DJ and Jay on your team, or at least you will…" Sadie says regretfully.

"You like him don't you, Jay I mean?" Katie asks with a smirk on her face.

"Like of course I do! I think I've found the one for me…" Sadie says all lovey-dovey.

(Static)

"Oh crap… now SADIE, of all people, likes me…" Jay says in horror before crying out an earth-shattering **"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

But then he calms down and says, "Hmmm, actually, this could be a golden opportunity for me. I'm already on good terms with DJ and Katie clearly has a thing for him. Sadie is all but joined at the hip with Katie and will be on the same team as Damian and might become another Avatar alliance member. If I butter her up enough, I could get her to do anything I say…" He smiles evilly and rubs his hands together in anticipation.

"I feel a scheme coming on…" Jay then proceeds to cackle manically for a little while.

(Static)

"**I'M ON THE SAME TEAM AS NOAH! EEEEEEEEEEE!"** Giavanna squeals in her fangirldom before saying with a mix of hope and confidence in a normal level voice, "I hope I can win! The money would get me through school no problem. But I'd like to get Noah more! "

(Static)

"It sucks that Jay isn't gonna be on my team, but I AM on the same team as Gia." Damian says with a shit eating grin on his face, and hope in his voice. "Time to get to work on having a girl."

(Static)

"I'm a little ner-nervous about the team I'm on but I knew that would be the case no matter what. Noah doesn't seem very nice. Izzy really sc-scares me. And while I think Owen and Giavanna are good people, there size does make me even more nervous. I'm hoping that will pass in time. But I'm very happy to be on the same team as Dawn. Maybe I can survive this after all, maybe?" Nise says, her voice crackling with nervousness only occasionally.

(Static)

"I'm glad that Mary, Joseph and Owen are on my team. They will be good friends and valuable allies. And they will be able to help me eliminate so many other people." Solita says happily.

(Static)

"Oh-oh-oh, this is beyond awesome! I couldn't have asked for a better team! Not only are my three new friends with me but my little buddy Noah is too! But even that's not the best part. Izzy is on my team and both Chris and, uh, E-Bus are not! Maybe I get her back after all! Sweet!" Owen exclaims happily, the look of joy on his face is total.

(Static)

"I'm largely happy with the team members I have. There is a lot of positive energy here, and a lot more positive energy just waiting to be discovered under piles of isolation and self-doubt. While winning challenges would be preferable, helping these people out would be just as good." Dawn says to the camera with a sincere smile on her pale face.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And finally, that leaves Chris, Katie, DJ, Melody, Jay, Greg, Rob, Justin, Nanon, Erebus, and Carlyle…. You guys are **the Crushing Cyborgs!**" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Kick-Ass team name! But you know what's even more kick-ass? Melody, DJ, Katie, Greg, Carlyle, and Rob on my team! If all of them enter my alliance, I could dominate this team!" Jay says in full joy and pride before his face becomes one of disgust.

"But sadly, there are some bad apples that could ruin everything for me. First there's Nanon, who disgusts me to no end but will likely be vital in the challenges to come. Then there's Erebus, who pisses me off to no end and could possibly have Melody forge an alliance with him instead. Finally, there's Chris, the Captain of Insanity! Izzy I might have been capable of dealing with… at least she's insane AND hot. Chris only fits one of those categories. Seriously, what the fuck is up with the mask?!"

(Static)

Chris is singing a disturbingly off-key song laced with gibberish and nonsense for good measure.

"We are the Crushing Cyborgs off to crush some rampaging Baltrogs in the valley of Mordor, and then bite off Hook's hand to make sure his Baltrogs Die…"

The Enigma then starts to dance badly in the Confessional to his own song of starved sanity as he says, "Come on everybody… join me in my happy little jig… HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-AH…"

As he continues to dance wildly in the Confessional, a message appears on the screen:

'_Chris continued to sing off-key, while combining god-awful dancing and crazed laughter till he collapsed from exhaustion 20 minutes later. We at Total Drama will mercifully spare you the whole thing.'_

(Static)

"Great, just great! I'm on the same team as Jay the Mohawked Idiot, Nut-job Chris, and Ms. Freakshow Nanon… just wonderful!" Melody exclaims in disgust.

(Static)

"Being denied by destiny the opportunity to be on the same team as Izzy does slightly sadden me. However, that is made up for by having among my comrades both Chris and Melody." Erebus states in rhyme with confidence.

(Static)

"Now to prove myself to the rest of the team… I can run faster than anyone else here I bet!" Nanon says smiling.

(Static)

"I can't believe! I'm on the same team as DJ…I'm so excited! " Katie exclaims in joy. Then she blushes and starts fanning herself. "Wow… is it hotter in here, or is it just me?"

(Static)

"It sucks that Jo and Anne Maria aren't on this team, throws a real monkey wrench into my plan. But maybe I can entrance Melody and/or Nanon into doing my bidding instead? Who knows, this might turn out to be an upgrade in terms of the ladies serving me?" Justin says, smiling evilly.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Now that all the teams are sorted out… time to pick the Captains for each team… by draw!" Kevin says as the interns roll out three raffle wheels with all the names of each member of each team on a different raffle ball. The balls are in one of the three different colored raffle cages: steel grey for the Cyborgs, blue for the Avatars, and red for the Polygons.

Kevin starts with the Cyborgs, and cranks the handle over and over again while saying "Who's gonna be captain and all the perks it brings? Nobody knows!" He stops cranking the wheel, opens the Cyborgs' steel grey raffle ball cage, and pulls out a name and smiles deviously. "**Melody**, looks like your captain of the Cyborgs!"

Katie and Nanon protest loudly, but (for the second time today) both DJ and Jay intervene.

"Come on guys, she may not be like her sister… I say we give her a fair chance as team captain." Jay says, and then winks to Melody who in response rolls her eyes.

"Of course YOU would say that Jay, it's plainly obvious you're crushing on her." Katie says cynically, showing a rare example of intelligence and lack of trust.

"Come on Katie, that's not fair. I agree with Jay, she does deserve a chance to prove herself." DJ says in agreement.

"Yeah, she could prove to be quite the asset." Justin says, joining the effort just like Erebus.

"I concur with these three fine gentlemen and the notion that they purpose. Melody just needs time to grow like a plant under the forgiven rays of the sun, like a breathtakingly lovely rose." Erebus says.

Melody tries to hide her feelings, but she can't help but blush a little. Jay notices this, and glares at him.

"Fine." Katie says, deflated like a shanked Christmas Lawn Santa. Nanon nods her head in agreement with the same level of insincerity.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I'm so glad that Katie and Nanon saw reason, but I'm surprised by all the support I got from the guys…" Melody says, deep in thought, filing her nails. "I expected Erebus and that moron Jay to support me; they're obviously crushing on me…"

She then flicks her hair and smiles with confidence. "And who can blame them really? I'm gorgeous from head to toe." She then laughs while adding, "DJ supporting me just shows how spineless he truly is."

"But Justin… he's scheming something. I'll have to keep an eye on him." Melody says, semi-concerned as she returns to filing her nails.

(Static)

"**ARRRRRGGGHHHH!** Damn that English Gentlejerk! If he thinks I'm gonna allow him to sweep Melody off her feet, he's got another thing coming! Luckily, Mom raised a gentleman… you want a war Erebus? WELL YOU GOT ONE!" Jay exclaims with grim determination before shaking his fist at the sky.

(Static)

"I see their point…" Katie says, and then scowls as she adds, "Doesn't mean I have to like it!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Kevin does the same thing with the Avatars, and pulls out a name out of their blue ball cage. "Huh, interesting… **Joseph**, you are the Avatars' Captain!" Kevin exclaims.

"Alright JOEY!" Owen screams, clapping his hands and fighting the urge to give him another spine smashing hug.

"Are we sure this is a good idea? I mean he's new and a religious zealot, how can he possibly lead us?" Noah asks with genuine concern.

"Noah, great leaders are often created from great suffering, and Joey has suffered a lot of pain. Therefore I think he'll be a great leader." Owen says in reply.

Half of the Avatars jaws collectively drop, along with mostly everyone else and everyone goes silent out of shock.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Um, did Owen just come up with an intelligent and thought-out argument to my concerns?" Noah says, impressed and shocked. His expression then becomes a smile. "Well played Owen, well played. I never saw that coming, good for you my friend."

(Static)

"I don't even know where that came from, it just came out…but it was so AWESOME! I GOTTA DO THAT MORE OFTEN!" Owen says, switching from curiosity to grinning exclamation.

(Static)

"So Owen's not completely brain dead after all? That's surprising." Solita says with genuine shock. She then gasps as she says before facepalming herself, "Sorry Owen, he-heh…"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Finally we come to the Polygons… you're Captain is…" Kevin says as he finishes spinning the red cage, pulls out a ball from said red cage and grins evilly. "Oh ho HO… this should be good. Polygons, your captain is…**HAROLD!**" Kevin exclaims, ready to burst into laughter.

"WHAT?! Harold is the Captain?! What the f**k kind of bullshit are you trying to pull?! Doris here couldn't lead the elderly to a nursing home!" Duncan screams in indignation.

Most of the cast glares at him, while some, like Jo, Anne Maria, and Melody look like they want to burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Leshawna stomps over to Duncan and gets in his face and yells "What did you just say about my sugar baby?!"

"I said, in case your deaf, that you're "Sugar Baby" couldn't lead the elderly to a nursing home! So what you gonna do about it? You fat, worthless ghetto piece of- **AUGH!"** Duncan exclaims in an angry bark right in her face before Leshawna knees him hard in the groin!

"That." Leshawna replies with a matter-of-factly tone and a smirk as Duncan crumples to the ground whimpering in agony while the rest of the cast laughs their asses off.

"Now THAT is good TV right there!" Kevin says while laughing as Duncan lies there in pain.

"Agreed." Harold says with a smile more massive than any before in his entire life.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Now that is what I call a Knee of Justice!" Harold says before adding with pride, "I salute you my Chocolate princess!"

(Static)

"That Punk needed to be put in his place… and sure felt good doing it! I've been carrying a chip on my shoulder for a while now 'cause of what he's done to Harold and my girl Gwen." Leshawna says satisfied with her work.

(Static)

"Wow, Duncan's a real idiot huh?" Jo asks rhetorically. Then she laughs so hard she falls off her chair.

(Static)

"Maybe now that **idiota** will smarten up as little!" Francisco says, a slight smile on his face.

(Static)

"**YES! THIS WILL BE THE BEST SEASON EVER YO!"** Greg yells in excitement.

(Static)

"**WHYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEE!"** Duncan moans in extreme pain as he clutches his royal jewels.

(Static)

"I think I'm going to like Leshawna…now if she'll just kick Jo and Anne Maria's sorry asses!" Britney says, grinning before her face becomes more serious. "But if she thinks she can boss me around, then she has another thing coming!"

(Static)

Ari writes down on their notepad, and shows it to the camera: _"That had to hurt! Poor Duncan…"_

(Static)

"I hope Leshawna gets the chance to do that again. I REALLY do!" Cody says grinning evilly.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Now that the little display is over, its time for the captain's major perk. You all will get… a **"Saviour Card!" **Kevin says as he passes out to the three captains a silver card with a golden "TDWIR" logo.

As the three captains look at their cards, Kevin explains the how these cards work. "Melody, Joseph, Harold…you all will have the ability to save any person on your team from elimination. And no, you can't use it to save yourself, Melody."

"Damn it." Melody mutters under her breath as she looks at her card.

"Anyway, you will be able to save one person aside from yourselves. When you use it, the person with the second greatest amount of votes against them will be eliminated instead. But you can only use this card once, so choose wisely captains. Also, they are useless after the merge. When the merge comes and the cards are deemed useless, an Invincibility Statue will be hidden."

Kevin waited a few seconds for the words to sink in before summoning roughly fifteen interns. After he whispered in the ear of one of them, the fifteen or so interns ran off at a very quick pace.

In the space of time waiting for the interns to return, someone offered some cynical assumptions.

"So, Kevin. Now that the teams are formed and the captains have been crowned, what idiotic and lame challenges do you have in mind for us? Are we going to repeat the dull movie challenges of Action or are we taking daily field trips to the irradiated hellhole known as Camp Wakanawa?" Noah asked, his considerably small amount of interest falling faster than a red falling asteroid.

"I'm very glad you asked that question Noah. As I said before, this season will be biggest ever. Part of that will be in the challenges themselves. Sadly you can't see the full meaning of that yet. However, until that day, I promise you that the challenges will not be restrained to one theme. This season is far too big for such narrow boundaries. And…" Kevin says before the sound of many cannons being fired at once is heard.

With a smirk on his face, Kevin continues with, "And here comes the first example of that. I trust that in a matter of moments you will get the…point!"

**SCHIKT! **

Suddenly, **over thirty swords** fall from the sky and impaled the ground to form a perfect line!

The swords seemingly from the sky formed a barrier between the shocked contestants and their new host, whose smirk now dominated his face.

As the contestants stared at Kevin in absolute silence, he turned his attention to the camera.

"And with that we conclude this episode, with so many questions like… How will Harold, Melody, and Joseph fare as team captains? Will Duncan's life continue to be Hell here? Will Damian and Melody be able to step over their sister's "legacy"? Is Ari a guy, or a girl? What is it that we have planned for them with all of these swords? And who will win? The challenges begin next episode, on **Total Drama, What is REAL!**" Kevin exclaims as the camera cuts out.

* * *

**Side Note:**

**Hey Guys, I must thank my partner in crime, Rufus T. Serenity again for his excellent editing, and his story "Mad Mikey" is the only MikexZoey story out there worth reading. **

**If you want to see more of my Stuff, read "TOTAL DRAMA ALL STARS!"**

**Sincerely,**

**The GunMaster**

**Total Drama and all its characters are owned by Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV Productions, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network.**

**The OC'S Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me; Nanon, Giavanna, Mathieu, Rob, and Erebus belong to Rufus; and all the other OC'S and the basic story concept belong to CRRGL.**


	4. What is Real? Episode 3 At blade's edge

**Total Drama, What is Real? Episode 3: At a Blade's edge (Part 1)**

* * *

"So we have met all our starting contestants…old, older, and new… and we have quite the interesting roster on our hands, don't we? Sniper Rob, completely insane but somehow likable Chris, arrogant Melody, scheming Jay, socially awkward but brilliant Nise, amateur illusionist Mathieu, one-armed wonder Nanon, the extremely tall and in other ways noteworthy Giavanna, and that's only HALF of our awesome new additions competing against Total Drama stables like Owen, Cody, and sadly…Duncan! Also, the three teams and captains have been formed/picked!

"There are so many questions heading in, like… just how much will Greg make Duncan's life a living hell? Will Duncan's little alliance with Jo and Anne Maria last? Just what is Jay's angle, or for that matter, Solita's? How will Harold, Joseph, and Melody fare as the captains of their teams? Can Chris top himself in terms of crazy? Just how insane will the Jay-Melody-Erebus love triangle get now that they're on the same team? And what is the first challenge going to be?

"I'm your host Kevin Rawlings… and this… is **Total Drama, What is Real**?!" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

**(Cue Title screen and theme song)**

"_Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine…"_

_*The camera zooms up to Izzy, Chris, and Owen who jump off the fake cliff into the pool below, soaking Kevin who was lounging in a deck chair nearby. Solita and Joseph are on the same cliff that the trio were and laugh at drenched new host. Mary is glaring at them at the two of them. Joseph responds by pulling Mary in for a kiss. Solita rolls her eyes besides them, smirking.*_

"_You guys are on my mind…"_

_*The camera then makes the transition to Mathieu, who is trying to perform a vanishing act for Nise, Cameron, Mike, and Zoey on the stage to show his skills with illusions. Sadly though, it spontaneously explodes in his face. This results in Matt rolling around to put out the fire. Nise runs away while screaming in terror with Cameron running after her. Mike and Zoey try to put the fire out by stepping on it but in doing so they end up unintentional stepping on Mathieu.*_

"_You asked me what I wanted to be…"_

_*Scott laughs at the scene, but then Giavanna cracks her knuckles behind him. Seeing her shadow cover him and hearing the crack of her knuckles, Scott goes pale as his eyes go wide and he runs off. Noah then grins at the running Scott and fist-bumps Giavanna. The two of them blush and look away from each other while smiling.*_

"_And now I think the answer is plain to see…"_

_*After looking on this with concern, Damian runs behind Heather and dumps black sludge on her, causing her to scream and run away. Damian and Alejandro, who had been hiding in a bush nearby, start laughing before they high-five each other.*_

"_I wanna be famous…"_

_*The camera then swivels into the Mess hall where Jay and Erebus are standing with Melody in between them. With Jay singing to her, mike in hand, and Erebus offering her a rose, she rolls her eyes and pushes both boys away. The camera shaking a little as they land.*_

"_I wanna live close to the sun…"_

_*Jay collides with Francisco's back as he's applying a tattoo to nervous and unsure looking DJ, causing the needle to puncture the Brickhouse's skin, causing him to yelp in pain. Katie gets angry, pulls out a baseball bat, and chases the Tattoo Artist out of the dining hall. As this is happening Sadie pulls up Jay while grinning at him. Jay runs away when she tries to hug him.*_

"_Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won…"_

_*Greg is working his turntables, headphones to his ear, when Francisco tramples him as he's running away from the bat-wielding Katie. As Greg struggles to his feet, Britney appears behind him and starts to talk to him. For some reason he starts slamming his head on his own turntables. Britney then scowls at him, with Courtney is laughing in the background.*_

"_Everything to prove, nothing in my way…"_

_*Justin is posing trying to get Anna Maria, Lindsay, Beth, Leshawna, and Dawn's attention, but none even notice he's there aside from Anne Maria. The other four ladies walk away smiling at each other.*_

"_I'll get there one day…"_

_*Gwen and Duncan are talking but neither looks very comfortable. Cody appears and calls to Gwen, who approaches the Geek with a faint smile on her face. Duncan is about to complain to the Goth about this when Ari appears from nowhere behind him and trips him. As the Delinquent rises to yell at the Ninja, the tripper vanishes in a thick cloud of black smoke.* _

"_Cause, I wanna be famous!"_

_*Trent is playing his guitar when he's bowled over by Francisco with Katie still in hot pursuit. After getting up and dusting himself off, the Musician is then trampled again by Jay while he's running away from not only Sadie, but Sierra now as well.*_

"_Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na!" _

_*The camera goes outside of the Mess Hall to reveal the contestants who are currently outside. Brick, Eva, Jo, Lightning, Nanon, and Tyler are all running towards a makeshift finish line. Though a close race, the One Armed Girl tears the fabric and jumps up and down in joy. While Brick, Eva, and Tyler look at the victor with respect, Jo and Lightning stare in envy.*_

"_I wanna be…"_

_*B is covering his ears trying to block out the continuously chatty Staci and Carlyle.*_

"_I wanna be…"_

_*Without warning Rob appears out of the bushes and hits them with tranquilizer darts from a blowgun, knocking both Staci and Carlyle out.*_

"_I wanna be famous!"_

_*B gives him the thumbs up. Rob smiles as he walks away. As he does, the camera transitions.*_

"_I wanna be…"_

_*Bridgette and Geoff are making out on the couch in the Total Drama Action Aftermath studio.*_

"_I wanna be…"_

_*Suddenly the Dakotazoid appears behind the couch and lifts both kissers off of it.*_

"_I wanna be famous!"_

_*As the blonde surfers sit elsewhere, Sam comes up to the couch and looks lovingly at her. *_

_(Whistling: I wanna be, I wanna be famous)_

_*__**"TOTAL DRAMA, WHAT IS REAL?"**__ Blinks onto the large screen behind them, as the rest of the cast is sitting on bleachers to the left and right of them.* _**(1)**

* * *

The contestants were exactly as they had been, staring in confusion at the swords from the sky. After a few minutes of shock, one of the contestants approached the ancient weapons of war.

"Hey Kevin…" Jay says as he pulls a pair of razor-sharp Kukri out of the ground, and grins. "Are all these part of the challenge?" **(2)**

"Very perceptive Jay. Yes, all these swords and blades from all over the world will be part of your challenge. As you can likely guess…you'll all be all duelling each other with these blades!"

"Uh, I k-know this-s seems like an obvious question… but what's stopping say… Greg or Duncan from killing each other?" Nise asks, fright and nervousness dripping from her voice.

"Good question Nise… with an even better answer! Thanks to a **very wealthy partner** who wishes to **remain anonymous**, we have been able to take our plans for this season to heights that no season of Total Drama ever has before! For this very first of challenges, that means that you guys will be protected by the most advanced, state of the art, battle armour in modern history!" Kevin exclaims as he pulls out beige fabric armour that looks like it's layered with square scales.

"DRAGONSCALE!" Rob and (surprisingly) Jay both exclaim at the same time. They Rob looks at Jay, left eyebrow up in surprise. Jay just grins at him.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Uh, how does **he** know about dragonscale?" Rob exclaims in a combination of surprise and being impressed as he refers to Jay.

(Static)

"What can I can I say? I love weaponry of all types, shapes and sizes." Jay says shrugging.

(Static)

"W-well at least we can't kill each other." Nise says in relief.

(Static)

"A very wealthy partner who wishes to remain anonymous? My curiosity about that is slightly lowered by the horror of what is about to happen. I'm not exactly sword wielding type, after all." Noah says.

(Static)

Erebus is laughing and it seems like he's been doing this for a while now.

"Oh, oh this is simply to rich for my amber eyes to behold! With the challenge being a duel of swords, my Christmas gifts this year can be placed on hold!"

The Machiavellian Poet then draws his cane-sword to prove his point.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Yes, Dragonscale. And we already have outfits for everyone here, fitting to your body sizes. Anyway, now that you know that, please come up and claim your pointy things of metal pain! Except for Erebus, who was kind enough to bring his own sword, much to our shock and joy." Kevin says.

"Oh yes, please forgive us Kevin. Please forgive our collective lapse in thinking in not bringing weapons that haven't been used in any major way in hundreds of years." Noah cynically says.

But Noah's (quite accurate) observation was almost instantly overwhelmed by a happy shout.

"Oh my god… a FRENCH RAPIER!" Staci exclaims in glee as she pulls the elegant blade out of the ground and runs her fingers over the shining blade in admiration before making a few slashing movements.

"What the hell would you know about swords Staci?" Anne Maria asks, very sceptical as she pulls a Machete out of the ground.

"What don't I know? My grandpa was a championship fencer back in England, taught me everything he knew before he died a few years ago. In fact-"Staci says with a smile before being interrupted by an annoyed Jo, who obtaining for herself a two-handed Highlander Claymore. **(3)**

"Oh just shut the hell up already! Not even Baby Rattle over here would believe that load of bullshit!" The Jockette nastily says as she points at Nise, who was holding a Xiphos short sword. **(4)**

After seeing the weapon Nise was struggling to hold, Jo couldn't help but start to laugh. "Oh that's rich! The tiny baby rattle is holding the main blade of the Spartans. Her using that thing is about as believable as the human parrot here being a master of the rapier."

Staci scowls as she responses, "I'll prove how skilled I am if you don't believe me!"

"I'm gonna enjoy seeing you try, and fail." Jo says, laughing.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I... I really don't think I like Jo that much..." Nise says, the resentment she feels noticeable even with her trembling.

(Static)

"I cannot WAIT to see that arrogant smirk wiped off Jo's face when I wipe the floor with my opponent, whoever it may be!" Staci says, grinning in anticipation.

(Static)

"I don't know… it's very odd. True that Staci's mouth is like a malfunctioning boat motor but she seemed to have far more confidence when she was rambling on about this. She just might know what she was talking about. You just might end up eating your words for dinner Jo." Duncan says as he started contemplating the possibility of that actually being the shocking truth.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Ari picks up a pair of Ninjato short blades, writes down on his/her notepad and shows it to Kevin. It reads, _"Do all these blades have scabbards to come with them?"_ **(5)**

"Uh… yes! I all these assorted swords and knives have their proper scabbards. Intern! The scabbards please!" Kevin says before turning to the contestants as he adds, "Once you have decided on a sword, please come over here and retrieve the proper scabbards to hold them."

An intern rolls out a cart with all the scabbards for the assorted swords. Said intern was a tall teenager with chocolate-colored skin who had both green glasses and black dreadlocks.

"Thank you Sebastian." Kevin says as Sebastian walks away to bring more scabbards. **(6)**

Harold pulls a Katana out of the ground. As the blade glistens in the sun, the nerd walks over to retrieve the proper scabbard for his sword. While doing so, he remarks to himself, "Beautiful craftsmanship."

Duncan pulls a Kilij out of the ground and says with a sadistic smile on his face; "Bet you could slice through three people with this baby." **(7)**

After pulling out a Janbiya dagger out from the ground, Joseph says, "Might as well live up to our heritage, right?" Mary nodded her head as she pulled out a Cruciform sword. **(8)** **(9)**

Mathieu takes out a Calvary saber while saying, "Wow, nice sword!" Cody, who had just obtained a Falcata, smiled as he nodded his head in agreement. **(10)**

Francisco was judging the Sword of Mars he had just pulled out of the ground. After making a hacking motion he commented, "Well balanced. Magnifico". **(11)**

Greg decides to pull out a pair of Gladius short swords and grinned once they were in his hands. **(12)**

Justin, despite fearing some damage befalling his perfect fingernails, grabs an Arabian Scimitar. After hacking the air, the Male Model looks with approval at his own reflection from the sword. **(13)**

Despite being on different teams and agreeing to become strong forces individuality, the Twins in Pink seemed unable to escape their obsession with duality as both chose a pair of blades. Sadie chose a pair of Katar daggers while Katie was now holding a pair KA-BAR combat knives. **(14) (15)**

In keeping with the bizarre duality of things, Owen and DJ, the two largest guys there, chose their weapons. DJ, with some timidity, claimed the Guan Dao pole sword. With his white meaty fingers briefly struggling, Owen pulled a Glaive pole sword out of the ground. **(16) (17)**

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I might not know much about swords but what I do know is that if I'm going to be forced to kick ass, I should at least do so with some style and the most beautiful sword here." Justin says.

(Static)

"I might not know much about swords but I'm sure a long pole can only help me to win this thing." Owen says, trying to be logical and actually being somewhat successful at it.

(Static)

"I might not know much about swords but I'm sure a long pole will reduce the chance of things getting too bad if things should go awry." DJ says, worried about the possibility of harming someone.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Rob pulls out a CRK Mark IV 9-inch combat knife. Many were shocked that he picked such a small weapon against so many larger swords. **(18)**

"You actually plan on kicking somebody's ass with **that puny thing**?" Duncan says mockingly.

"It's not the length of your blade…" Rob says grinning as he puts the knife to Duncan's throat in a motion as fast as lightning, "…it's how you use it."

All sense of mocking left Duncan as his face went pale until the knife was away from his throat.

Jay was grinning at Rob, extremely impressed. Greg was grinning like an idiot simply because Duncan just had a nine inch blade just inches away from his jugular vein.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Rob is… impressive to say the least. If I can get him on my side, there's no way I can fail!" Jay says, very impressed.

(Static)

"Is it bad that I was secretly thinking, _'I hope he nicks Duncan's jugular'_ the whole time Rob held that knife to his neck?" Greg asks rhetorically to the camera.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Chris, to almost everyone's great concern, pulled a Norman Broadsword out of the ground. At the same time, Izzy, to almost everyone's great concern, pulled out a pair of Twin Hook swords. **(19) (20)**

As Izzy began cutting the air with the curved weapons of Shaolin Monks, Chris slashed the same air a few times before starting to approach the wild redhead still wildly cutting with her swords. This was made even stranger and absurd by the fact that Izzy had started shouting angrily.

"**Izzy is the master of fear! The cruel goddess of war and the savage queen of all bloodshed! Look on my works ye mighty and despair! Cower before Izzy and witness terror!"**

Despite this intimidating voice, Chris approaches Izzy as calm as humanly possible, taps her shoulder, and says in a voice so shockingly normal, "Hey Izzy, can I ask you something?"

The face of almost divine fury on her melts away in an instant and Izzy says in a normal sweet sounding voice with a genuine kind smile, "Sure buddy. Let me just finish this up, 'kay?"

But then as quickly as it retreated the face full of inhuman fury returned as Izzy shouted, **"Worship me, fools! Worship me! Cry through your mouths flowing with own blood for your end to be swift! Scream hosannas of anguish to Izzy, the all-terrible god of fear!"**

Just as quickly, the furious thunder left the redhead as Izzy asked in a sweetly and calm manner, "So, what's up my phantom of the mask and cape but no opera?"

"Actually, you just said it. Not the mask or the lack of opera, but the cape. Could you please hold on to this cape until after this challenge, keeping it close?" Chris asks, actually sounding logical.

"Sure buddy! Izzy can keep this cape as close as she can." Izzy happily told the masked teenager.

Then Izzy's emerald eyes were drawn to Giavanna, who was not too far away and struggling to pick a sword. For some reason, Izzy's previously happy grin became a slight frown. Equally strange was the fact that she was staring shamefully at her chest for some odd reason.

Suddenly, Izzy's frown bolted upward into a massive smile bordering on manically Joker-like. To everyone's shock, even Chris', Izzy then takes the cape and stuffs it into her top's opening.

This had the effect of making Izzy's bust considerably larger and more eye-catching than before. Whether it was out of curiosity or wanting to magnify the effect, Izzy then cupped her breasts. After cupping and slightly adjusting her breasts now cape surrounded, Izzy struck a sexy pose.

"So Chris, what do you think? Do you think I'm not big enough on my own? Be honest." Izzy asked, trying (and mostly succeeding) to sound sexy while also sounding somewhat vulnerable.

The Enigma simply stood there for a few moments, very happy that a mask covered his face. He was happy that his face couldn't be seen was because of he had conflicting feelings about this. On the one hand, Izzy with larger breasts was not exactly a terrible development to him. But there was another opinion that Chris felt was closer to the actual truth. He voiced this truth.

"While I'm not going to deny that your cleavage of cloth has a way of awakening reactions, I'm going to be honest. You shouldn't be concerned about "big enough", only "on my own". Whether they are watermelons or cherry pits, the sizes of your breasts should have no weight. Much more important is the fact that you shouted wrathful proclamations at imaginary beings. Your personality and plea for figurative bloodshed are better than big biological baby bottles."

"Aw, thanks Chrissie! That was beautiful yet disturbed, just the way Izzy likes her speeches!" Izzy says in smiling graduate to Chris' "beautiful yet disturbed" words about her personality.

"But you can keep the cape, it looks far better on you." Chris added, slightly lessening his words.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Izzy is sitting in the Confessional, looking down at her bust that still has the cape stuffed in it.

"Izzy's not ashamed of her body. Its just that sometimes when around people like Giavanna I fear that I'm a bit lacking. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if I had breasts that big?" Izzy says, looking slightly vulnerable again as she removes Chris' cape from her cleavage.

This only lasts seconds though as Izzy suddenly gets a massive grin on her face as she says, "Nah! I don't need my chest puppies to be full-grown Labrador retrievers! Giavanna can have those whopping woof-woofs. Though Izzy wonders if they are real? Izzy must investigate!"

The Psycho Hose Beast then starts rubbing her hands together while cackling maniacally.

(Static)

The Enigma is sitting on the right side of the Confessional, leaving the left side empty.

"That cloak my be awesome and stylish but its something that I sadly can't wear for challenges. No, I need to shifting and fluid, matching the fecal matter in bowels plagued by severe diarrhoea! Only a complete and utter wacko would wear a cape for a Total Drama sword duel challenge…" Chris says with logical confidence before turning his head to the empty space to his left side.

"Isn't that right penis-headed ghost of Eager Allen Poe?"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Hmmm… Interesting. I'll take it." Giavanna says as she picks up a Scottish Broadsword, the heaviest sword there. Despite her unease, she spins it around her wrist like it weighs nothing. **(21)**

While doing so, Nanon, who was pulling out a Recon-1 Combat Knife, looks very impressed. **(22)**

"Wow, your arm strength is almost as good as mine." Nanon says smiling to Giavanna, looking up to the giant redhead who dwarfed her by a considerable margin. Giavanna smiled back at her.

"Of course you would be impressed…two freakshows admiring each other together because no guy in his right mind ever would. Why don't you just make out already and get it over with?" Melody asks nastily, with an evil smile on her face as she pulled out a Jian sword. **(23)**

Both girls looked deeply hurt by Melody's remark, because it touched on a real concern for both.

Nanon's face contorts in anger, looking like she's going to throw a couple punches to Melody's face. Gia notices this and with a shockingly calm voice she says, "Let me take care of this."

Very calmly, the Tall Bombshell walks right in front of Melody. Standing with her long shadow, the Mirror Image's evil smile breaks as she begins to realize the folly in mocking the "freaks".

Melody stood there, looking up at Giavanna's furious eyes like a deer caught in the headlights until…

**SSSMAACCCKKKKK!**

One of Giavanna's massive yet still slender hands bitch-slapped Melody so hard that it knocked her off of her feet, causing her sunglasses to shatter as her head hit the ground!

Both the impact and sound of the slap were so powerful that almost everyone cringed at them. The only exceptions, which were actually grinning in approval, were Nanon, Damian (holding a Viking Long Sword), and Noah (holding a Kopis Short Sword). **(24) (25)**

Jay and Erebus run over to Melody's side and lift her to her feet. The two guys hold her as she struggles to stay upright.

"That was out of line! If you ever insult Nanon like that again you bitch… **A LOT WORSE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU, GOT IT?!**" Giavanna screams to the dazed Melody.

"I don't even think she can understand you. She's barely conscious…she can't even stand. And it was YOU was out of line!" Jay replies, furious, looking at her with fiery hatred in his eyes.

"I must agree with Jay because you overstepped your justified grounds for complaint. For one with so much physical power, you had better start learning how to show far more restraint." Erebus says with a sadness contrasting Jay's fiery anger in tone while equalling it in power.

With the help of a few interns, Erebus and Jay lead Melody away to the medic's tent.

As they did, Giavanna stood there like a statue. The remarks of the two (in particular Erebus') combined with the image of seeing the barely conscious Melody being lead away had an effect. Almost instantly after the slap to Melody, the full guilt already began to fester within Giavanna.

She may have broke down into tears for losing control if not for a small hand on her right arm. Looking down, she sees Nanon looking up at her with a pleased smile on her. This smile makes the Tall Bombshell feel much better but she still feels her guilt clawing away at her mind. Cracking a slight smile herself while still feeling guilty she says, "That was wrong. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Not to sound cruel but she's a massive bitch. That much would be perfectly clear even if Melody wasn't Heather's sister." Nanon says to put the tall girl's mind as ease.

"Her being Heather's sister has nothing to do with it." A voice says, as it gets closer.

Looking in the voice's direction, Giavanna saw both Damian and Noah approaching her. She remembered the voice as belonging to Damian.

"Ok fair enough. But still, I can tell already that she's going to get hit a couple more times like that before this is all over." Nanon says to both Damian and Giavanna.

"You'll find no disagreement there. I'll truly be shocked if she doesn't leave with a few scars." Damian says with a somewhat dark smile on his face.

"Forgetting for a moment any long standing family grudges and hostility, they are correct. This is something that you shouldn't lose any sleep over Giavanna. In fact, does anyone here think any less of Gia for sending Melody to the medical tent?" Noah says before asking everyone.

Every voice that could be heard said that they didn't think any less of the Tall Bombshell. The only voices that couldn't be accounted for belonged to Erebus, Jay, Melody, and a few others.

Despite those voices being absent, hearing that largely collective sentiment had an effect on Gia. While still being stung by guilt, it was far less painful than it was just a few short moments ago. Feeling much better, the Tall Bombshell got on to one of her knees and swung her arm across her. Like a massive net in the ocean, it caught Noah, Damian, and Nanon in its large embrace as a very thankful Giavanna then pulled the three of them into a tight hug. The trio couldn't move, but none of them had any real desire to so as they hugged Gia back to the best of their ability.

"Oh thank you guys! You have no idea how much this means to me! Noah, Damian, you guys are the best! And so are you, uh, Nanon, right?" Giavanna says while still hugging the kind trio.

"Yup, that's correct. And you must be Giavanna, I presume?" Nanon asks in rebuttal.

"I am. But you can call me Gia if you want. Whichever you'd prefer." Giavanna says.

"Good to know. Now, Gia, could you release us, please?" Nanon says, still being hugged.

"Uh? Oh! Sorry." Giavanna says sheepishly with a blush before releasing her three friends.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"My God! I can't believe I did that! I could have hurt Melody for life! I hope she's ok." Giavanna says with her voice being both loud and full of obvious guilt. The Tall Bombshell then lowers her head to be visible to the camera; her eyes are almost on the verge of tears. After a few seconds, she regains herself enough to explain herself to the Confessional camera.

"Remember when I said I was picked on in my hometown? That was a massive understatement. Ever since I was thirteen the majority of people I know have either picked on me or ignored me. I have very few friends as a result of this. I also have discovered that this has made me extremely protective of them, in particular when they are being bullied because of something about them they can't change or their friendship to me. Seeing them hurt just gets **so mad sometimes that I…!**" Giavanna says calmly before showing a sudden spike in wrath that she catches herself in.

Pausing for a moment, she adds with a defeated tone, "And that has lead to me sometimes losing my temper. I'm able to control it for the most part but I'm so big and strong that the few times where I didn't could have lead to serious, irrevocable injuries. I've lost one or two of the few friends that I've had as a result. As I'm sure I just lost a few of the possible friends here too. I know they said that they were fine with what happened but they must think so much less of me.

"How could they still want me as a friend after I lost my temper and smacked down Melody?"

(Static)

Nise is sitting there shaking wildly with her eyes as wide as they could be, scared out of her mind. The Quantum Physicist to be was one of those who were silent earlier, out of pure fear.

(Static)

Duncan is seen writing in a note pad while seemingly saying out loud what he is writing.

"Note to self. Don't piss off Giant Girl and her possible desired boy-toys Noah and/or Damian."

(Static)

"It was hard to see Gia be saddened but she has no idea how much hotter she just became to me! I've wanted to knock Mel down a peg or two for years!" Damian says in understandable though somewhat disturbing joy.

(Static)

"Apparently Giavanna likes to give out tight, long hugs to her friends. I'm not sure why that is, but I'm not exactly going to complain out it or tell her to stop." Noah says with a small smile.

(Static)

"As horrible as Melody's comment might have been, she did touch on a couple of truths. One of which was that often in a pitch, often the only thing that us "freaks" have is each other. And from what I've seen, Giava-, Gia, will be a friend and fellow "freak" who I can turn to if needed." Nanon says with warmth in her voice, clearly showing a desire for a strong friendship with her.

The One-Armed Girl then spoke in a voice with far more energy and excitement as she says, "And she is strong! It's hard for you watching to imagine just how strong. She may look like a semi-delicate supermodel but she might not know just how much power is flowing behind those muscles of hers! In addition to a friend, I may have just found a excellent running partner too!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

While waiting for word from the medical tent about Melody, the five people still needing a blade made their decisions. For two of them, it didn't take long to claim a weapon meant for cutting. Leshawna chose a Naginata pole sword while Solita picked a Khanda sword. The other three though, took far longer to decide on a sword for very different reasons.

The first of the three, Britney's difficult came from swords being just about the furthest thing out of her interests. While the other two were still debating, she claimed a Cutlass as her weapon. For Carlyle, he had wasted so much time because he tried to run through every movie that used swords or knives to find the one that would be the best one to reference.

And given the number of movies with swords and knives that he has seen, he still wasn't anywhere near ready to make a decision based on that. Finally, out of frustration, he pulled a Bowie knife out of the ground. So, because of her strong beliefs against combat (armed or otherwise) Dawn pulled out a French Arming sword. **(26) (27) (28) **

Most would have complained about how long it took the last three to choice their weapons but since they couldn't proceed until they got word back on Melody's condition, no one minded. Right after Dawn reluctantly chose her sword, the trio of Melody, Jay, and Erebus had returned. To the great relief of the three returning contestants (and Giavanna) and the great disappointment of everyone else, Melody was not actually injured from Gia's slap, only having brief shock.

With everyone present and capable of competing, Kevin announced to all of the teenagers there, "Ok, now that everyone is here and everyone has a weapon, it's time to set the matches! I will determine most of pairs of opponents but the three captains of the teams have the perk of picking their own opponents. Remember captains; it can be anyone who is not from your own team. And seeing as how Melody just got back from the medical tent, I think its only fair that she picks first. So Melody, which member of the Avatars or Polygons would you like fight with sharp swords?"

The Mirror Image could barely contain herself as she shouted instantly, "Giavanna!"

The Tall Bombshell in question looked shocked at hearing this (as did most of those present) before her face became one of understanding and reluctant acceptance.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Honestly, I shouldn't have been shocked that Mel chose me as her opponent. It makes perfect sense that she would relish the change to come at me with a sword after I slapped her so hard. If I lose, I'll have been beaten, and ergo, fail my team. If I win, I'll likely feel even guiltier. So basically I feel like I'm in a lose-lose situation here." Giavanna says, with knowing sadness.

(Static)

"I really hope that Gia can lay the smack down on my sis again! If it happened twice, Mel might be humbled…or if nothing else be quiet and not add any more damage to our family's name." Damian says, clearly offering his support to the Tall Bombshell instead of his evil other sister.

(Static)

"I can't believe she broke my sunglasses..." Melody says clearly distressed and on the verge of tears as she holds the violet shards in her hands.."They were my birthday gift from Daddy this year..." she says as single tear leaves her right eye, then her face contorts in rage and hate..."Oh you're going to pay you big bitch! **YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!**" Melody screams before adding in a much more quiet but equally unpleasant tone, "Maybe I can cut her down to size?"

(Static)

"Now this is what I'm talking about! Mel and me couldn't have asked for a sweeter deal! Now she can mop the floor with that admittedly gorgeous giant. In fact, we have the two hottest girls here fighting each other? This could only be better if they lost the swords and were in mud!" Jay says, his strong support for Melody switching to a far less noble or clean imagining with her.

(Static)

"I'd like to believe that Melody has the skills to pull her through. But in challenging Giavanna, I have to worriedly ask if she has bitten off more than she can chew?" Erebus says with worry.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Ok no big surprise their Melody. At least your fight will bring in ratings from the male viewers. Anyway, let's have Joseph pick next. Which Polygon or Cyborg would you like to duel, Joey?"

The Arabic teenage male looked carefully over the choices for him to pick from. There were several very wise choices for him to pick from for an easy victory in the first round. But he made his decision, he chose a Polygon.

"I chose Britney!" Joseph said, to the gasps of many and the shocked stares of almost everyone.

Both Britney and Kevin looked shocked by this, though Kevin oddly looked more shocked.

"Alright, that leaves one captain. Harold, please decide which Avatar or Cyborg battles you!" Kevin says.

The Dweeby Nerd tapped his auburn goatee while sizing up those who he could be fighting. After a few moments of doing this, Harold would follow Joseph's lead and shock everyone.

"To test my honor and mad skills, I choose the noble yet often timid DJ!"

Again like how things were with Joseph, everyone either gasped or stared at Harold in shock.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I'm truly not sure how to feel about fighting Harold or why he picked me as his opponent? I mean, sure, I helped Duncan and Geoff prank him a few times back on the island. But in the brief time he was in World Tour, we got along well. I'm so not sure how to feel about fighting him! Oh…what would Mama say about playing with swords?" DJ asks, nervous on a few levels.

(Static)

"I have no ill will towards DJ, or even Geoff for that matter, for the pranks on me during Island. Only Duncan deserves ire for those foul deeds! So, you might be asking, why not fight him? Well, while Duncan is the more deserving of wrath, DJ presents a far better challenge for me. Between out great size difference and his Guan Dao pole sword, I can truly gauge my own skills. Since this might be the one time in my life that I can use a Katana in a duel, this is my one shot!" Harold says as he explains his reasoning in a very neutrally toned way.

(Static)

"I have no grudge or malice for Britney. I simply chose her because it seems like that she will be the easiest to defeat in a sword duel." Joseph says to the camera, completely neutral in voice.

(Static)

"So Joey wants a fight huh?" Britney says as she cracks her knuckles and smiles eagerly. "I don't know anything about swords, I could care less about a bunch of ancient glorified shish kabob sticks. However, I do know something about fighting. I usually only fight pissy haters of my music and the paparazzi but that gets really tiresome because all they do is scream and cry while not fighting back. I bet Joey thinks I'm a scared, vapid little performer. I'm gonna enjoy this!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Alright. Now that the three captains have selected their opponents, I will pick every other pair. Please know that while some of these are my personal picks, others I was ordered to announce. The first of which is one of those I am forced to make, despite how unfair and very one-sided this is…Rob vs. Sadie!" Kevin says, knowing the unfairness of it.

And the teenagers were also aware of how unaware this match was. Sadie's face went pale and she was squeezing Katie's hand so hard that her normally mocha fingers were just as pale.

"Moving on, now the next two matches. First, we have one of which I decided and will hopefully get great pleasure from since they clearly already want to kill each other anyway…Duncan vs. Greg! Then, we have one that I was forced to make by the higher ups…Nise vs. Jo!" Kevin says.

Everyone's eyes were drawn to the four people whose names had just been mentioned. Duncan and Greg were staring at each other with smiles to sadistic that they horrified most of those there. Jo had a more restrained but equally unnerving smirk. Nise was shaking uncontrollably in fright.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Katie and Sadie are in the Confessional together. Katie is trying to console her frightened friend.

"Come on it wouldn't be that bad Sadie." Katie says to Sadie who looks even paler.

"Yeah, it is Katie! He's in the military and he's threatened Duncan with a knife already!" Sadie says, the efforts of her BFF having no real effect.

"Ok, he's tough and trained. But I'm sure he's, like, not a evil guy." Katie says to her BBF.

"Didn't matter if he's evil or not! He's going to attack me with a knife! I'm sure he's evil!" Sadie says, her concern about the fight overwhelming her reason.

(Static)

"I wouldn't be shocked with Sadie is scared out of her mind. I truly feel unfortunate about that. People have thought that since I'm in the military I must be some kind of gun-crazy sadist. And me being forced to fight an innocent girl like Sadie is not going to help me with that image. Despite what you might think about me, hurting others is not something I get pleasure from. What person would actually get a rush out of being able to inflict pain on another human being?" Rob says, his voice devoid of any sadistic relish and instead showing some remorse.

(Static)

"I take back was I said before about the universe. It is a beautiful, violent thing! Not only can I give that twerp Greg the beating he so rightly deserves but I can do so without any backlash." Duncan says in sadistic joy as he cracks his knuckles in eagerness for the fight with Greg.

(Static)

"I truly wish that Gwen was here, it's been **months** since I've seen her last. But her not being here means I can live out a fantasy I've been having for a while…beating the snot out Duncan!" Greg says, his sadistic joy matching Duncan's.

(Static)

"They may as well just give me my place in the next round. Baby Rattle's going to down hard." Jo says with lack of concern for Nise in her voice is truly frightening.

(Static)

Nise is shaking uncontrollably as she stares into the camera with eyes that are as unblinking as possible. She tries to speak her views but is unable to do anything except frighteningly whimper.

Eventually though, she actually starts to form words…partially, that is.

"I-I…I'm rea-really scar…" Nise starts to say before…

**BUMP!**

"**OH NO SHE'S HERE! JO'S GOING TO KILL ME! THAT' S ALL I HAVE TO SAY! BYE! AHAHA!" **

Nise then bolts out of the Confessional so fast that it leaves a dust copy of her that disappears.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Moving on, similar to Duncan and Greg, this next one promises to be a vicious grudge match. Sure bring their fullest fury to the fight is the match of…Solita vs. Anna Maria!" Kevin says.

Like Duncan and Greg before, Solita and Anna Maria flash truly scary smiles at each other.

"On the opposite side of the aggression spectrum, we are daring to pair sweet and weak "C" against…sweet and weak "K"! It will be…Cody vs. Katie!" Kevin says.

While Cody looked somewhat offended by the label of "sweet and weak", that was overpowered by his staring at Katie with uncertainty for a few reasons. Katie was staring at him the same way.

"Our next pick will be interesting to say the least. Since Staci has claimed to be a master of the rapier, I can think of few people here better for her to fight than our wacko, Chris!" Kevin says.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Hey check me out Staci. I'm the ghost of Christmas KICK YOUR ASS!" Chris exclaimed.

(Static)

"So, yeah, I've been pitted against a guy who makes Izzy look like my restrained great, great, great grandmother once removed from my dad's side?" Staci says with a look of contemplation.

This look changes and becomes one of solid iron confidence as she says, "Bring it on!"

(Static)

"Oh it is on Solita! IT IS ON!" Anna Maria shouts at the camera.

(Static)

"Anna Maria, there isn't anyone here who'd I'd rather rush at with a sharp sword!" Solita says.

(Static)

"I'm grateful for the "sweet" compliment but "weak"!?" Cody screams in offended disbelief. "I've knocked uber tough guy Duncan out cold…twice! I've endured bear and dingo attacks! I've come away from Sierra's stalker insanity with my sanity and drive perfectly preserved! True I might not in the same weight class as muscular guy like Francisco or DJ but I am not WEAK!"

(Static)

Katie and Sadie are once again in the Confessional together, though the roles have been reversed.

"Like, it's going to be ok Katie. Cody's, like, the smallest person here. Except for maybe Nanon?" Sadie says, trying to comfort a partially distraught Katie sitting next to her.

"That's true and all but Cody is tough. He's taken down Duncan more than once you know." Katie replies, still nervous about fighting the guy whose beaten Total Drama's tough bad boy.

"Yeah, but like, he really hates Duncan. And unlike Duncan, he doesn't hate you and your nice." Sadie retorted.

"Duncan has become a meanie, hasn't he?" Katie asked, realizing that Sadie was right.

"I know right! He's become such a big dumb meanie! Like my cousin Jim, remember him?" Sadie asked, becoming sidetracked, as both she and Katie often tend to do.

Katie's mouth started to move but the sound suddenly disappears. Before anyone gets mad at their TV for muting itself, a message from Total Drama appears on the screen and what it says is:

"_Katie and Sadie continue to ramble on about things unrelated to the show for a very long time. Since we, and we assume you, have no interest in hearing this, we are going to skip over it."_

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Up next, we have a bit of a odd choice in terms of fighters…Carlyle vs. Mary!" Kevin says.

The Cinefile and the Female Religious Wacko (who hasn't really been that wacko-ish) looked at each other in equal surprise.

"With our next duo we find a bit more common ground…Owen vs. Leshawna!" Kevin says.

Indeed, the two "largest" contestants looked at each other with shock but little else.

"And now we move on. I'm sorry to say this Giavanna but I must pit two of your new friends against each other. Next will be the pair of…Nanon vs. Damian!" Kevin says.

The Tall Bombshell and her two friends looked at each other as if unsure about what just happened.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Just my luck. I finally get some friends; they have to fight each other. I don't know whom to root for." Giavanna says, truly torn between not knowing which person she should support.

(Static)

"I'm sorry for this Damian. You seem like a nice guy but the dice have fallen where they may." Nanon says, actually holding no bad feelings towards the Hellraiser.

(Static)

"My feelings towards this fight are mixed. On the one hand, I'm facing Nanon and will likely lose. But on the other, I actually get to use a real sword in combat! So awesome!" Damian says.

(Static)

"Owen, uh? I've got no hard feelings towards the white boy. But he's big, very big. Unlike most people here, I won't be able to just shove him aside with my, uh, lushness." Leshawna says, hinting at her body being larger than that of the "normal" teenage female.

(Static)

"I know I'm big but I'm also a gentle person. And Leshawna can be scary sometimes, like when she locked Heather in a freezer, or when she slapped Heather silly in Germany. At least I can be thankful that I'm not Heather! Her fashion choice would not work with my, uh, insulation." Owen says, a little frightened as he grabs his many rolls of fat to better show his "insulation".

(Static)

"So then, there's something about Mary, uh? Ha, ha." Carlyle says with a smile at the horrible pun in order to reference the movie _"There's something about Mary"_.

(Static)

"Fighting Carlyle shouldn't be too bad. While I have no bad feelings for him, I have the feeling like he won't be the hardest person to defeat." Mary says.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"In keeping with a kind of precedent, this next match is a little iffy in terms of who will win. Said match being…Jay vs. Mathieu!" Kevin says.

Indeed, the two teenagers looked at each other as if they were unable to fully gauge the other even though Jay had a partial smirk on his face.

"Given that Erebus already as a sword and is likely trained with how to use it, most wouldn't have a shot against him. Yet, there's at least one person who as a reasonable chance…Francisco!" Kevin says, his voice conveying the knowing of this bringing a good fight.

In contrast to the reaction of the previous statement, Erebus and Francisco smiled at each other. The two large and muscular teenagers were clearly ready for what promised to be a tough match.

"Less as promising are the next two people fighting…Justin vs. Noah!" Kevin says.

The long-established opposites and rivals looked at each other. Justin had a confident smirk while Noah had an expression of worry.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Under most circumstances I'd revel at the change to crush the Anti-Me but not with swords. My intellect is light-years ahead of Justin's but he's got the advantage in terms of muscles. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly Mr. Charles Atlas and I've never held a real sword before. With my prospects so bad, I'm just hoping to not embarrass myself against someone like Justin." Noah says his normal cynicism made even greater by a mostly justifiable reasoning of doubt.

(Static)

"I'm not exactly a master swordsman but since I'm facing weakling Noah, I've got this for sure." Justin says, his smirk just as it was when his fight was announced.

(Static)

"Noah is unquestionably a very smart person and a very legitimate threat to my master plan but this could be a way around that. His greatest weakness is self-pride, bitterness at personal failure. If Justin humiliates him enough, Noah will withdraw into his cynical shell and get himself voted out very quickly. Without even knowing it, Justin may give me a critical portion of my success." Jay says, afterwards revealing a smile so sickening and most unpleasant before adding, "Oh, and I'm not concerned with Matt in the slightest. Magic boy is going down!"

(Static)

"I am concerned about having to fight Jay. But being a magician, I always have illusions up my sleeves." Mathieu says with a smile as he pulls up his shirt's sleeves a bit for dramatic effect. "Let's just say that Jay's chances in this duel have gone up in a cloud of smoke" he says, winking to the camera

(Static)

"Francisco, with both the body and blood of a mighty Spaniard, is certainty no weakling or fool. As a result, this promises to be a truly epic duel." Erebus says, as always in rhyme.

(Static)

"I can't say that I enjoy fighting. To build off of a well-known saying, the tattooing needle is mightier than the sword. But I have the hunch that dueling Erebus will be interesting." Francisco says.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Now we get to a match that I'm sure is going to raise eyebrows and make you scared beyond reason, quite correctly though. You see, we at Total Drama believe in ending things with a bang. At the risk of bringing the end of all time, the final match of the first round is…Ari vs. Izzy!" Kevin says with both fear and excitement present in his voice.

While the contestants had been shocked and alarmed by the match pairings so far, nothing could have compared to what they felt now. The main reason for this was Izzy's disturbing laughter.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"THANK YOU ALL MIGHTY WHATEVER YOU ARE! God, Cthulhu, Galactus, Spaghetti Monster, Morgan Freeman! You are all wonderful! Izzy's dreamed of this moment…fighting a ninja! Izzy's hoped more for this than the zombie apocalypse!" Izzy says, bursting in happiness.

(Static)

Ari is once again writing in his/her notepad before showing it to the camera: _"Given that I will be using weapons that I'm well trained in and that my opponent is Izzy…I couldn't ask for a better first challenge!" _

(Static)

Mary and Joseph are seen in the Confessional together with their eyes close and hands clamped together as they are both sending a rapid succession of absolute fear-filled prayers to God.

(Static)

"I see only bad things coming from this fight. But maybe I'm being too bleak?" Dawn asks.

(Static)

"This fight is going to be legendary!" Chris says, his voice conveying absolute happiness.

(Static)

"Our universe is doomed! **DOOOOOOOOMED!**" Carlyle exclaimed in absolute terror.

(Static)

"Like I said, legend, wait for it…dairy! Right from the very cows of drama themselves!" Chris says, sounding as if some odd point had been proven.

(Static)

"Holy shit... this gonna be EPIC!" Jay exclaims in gleeful excitement.

(Static)

"Why do I suspect this is gonna be something straight out of an awesome Kung-fu flick?" Duncan asks.

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And now all of the contestants have been arranged into pairs of battles we can…" Kevin says before being interrupted.

"Wait a second Kevin! You forgot about Dawn!" Chris says to the host.

After a few seconds of thinking it over, Kevin's face became one of realization before saying, "Oh…so I did. My apologies to you Dawn, there are so many of you teenagers that I've just met. And, thanks to the numb-nuts who run this little dog and pony show, there's an odd number here. How about this, how about you don't have to fight and can't get voted off if the Avatars lose?" Kevin asks Dawn.

The Moonchild nodded her head **'yes'**.

It was then that she noticed a table next to Kevin that had the fabric armour both beige and scaly. She also noticed that Solita already started going through them, figuring out the obvious next step.

"Very good. Anyway, please come here to claim your Dragonskin armor. Everyone has an outfit with their name on it that is also the correct size. After getting yours, please go to either the nearby public restrooms or the trailers to change. To everyone else aside from Dawn, a call will be placed out in fifteen minutes to report to the fighting ring." Kevin says as Solita had found hers and started heading off for a nearby restroom.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I wasn't exactly looking forward to fighting anyone here but I really wouldn't want to fight Dawn. She's like Evanna Lynch's Luna Lovegood crossed with Sir Ben Kingsley's Mahatma Gandhi. Who could want to threaten a Luna Gandhi?" Carlyle says.

(Static)

"I'm truly thankful to the Great Earth Mother that I don't need to engage in such a barbaric challenge. But would I do it if I had to? I've thought about it and the answer is reluctantly yes. Despite my strong reservations, I would not let my team down because I'm not like Scott!" Dawn says.

(Static)

"N-not too s-sound selfish but why couldn't I-I have been the one n-not needing to fight?" Nise asks while shaking, clearly scared out of her mind again at the thought of fighting Jo.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL **

* * *

A few minutes after Kevin showed the contestants where the fighting ring was located, someone was sneaking around. She was the only person there; all of the other teens were still changing. Kevin was nowhere to be found, possibly hearing what the producers think of the show so far.

Though her form was small, it was swift, it like her mind. How else could it be that she had the foresight to be the first to grab her armor made of cloth and rush off to change before anyone else? How else could it be that she imagined up the first act, the first act of villainous sabotage?

To aid her in this, she obtained help from an earlier villainous stroke of brilliance. In the Crafts and Services Tent, as most were districted by the insanity of the Chris' introduction, she snuck into the kitchen and quickly took an item from it. Though she didn't know how, given that the first challenge was likely to be physical in nature she was reassured that it would come in handy.

And she was right. She couldn't tell whether it was grease or some kind of cooking oil. It didn't matter which it was. What did matter was that she was covering the entire fighting ring it. Thankfully the liquid was impossible to detect on the tiles that made up the fighting arena. This liquid would make the fighting arena a bit more slippery and give everyone a much harder time.

As the Solita was pouring it with no one to bear inconvenient witness, she smiled in fullest joy.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"I suppose now's as good a time as any to tell you something about myself you couldn't know. My goal in this game isn't to advance myself into the winner's circle or to succeed in challenges. No. **My goal is** **elimination**, to eliminate as many people from this game as humanly possible!" Solita says with the smile on her face is the greatest it could possibly be.

"It doesn't matter whether they are strong or weak, on the other two teams or my own…all that matters is the body count, the number of people whose chances have been ruined by my actions. You must be asking; why am I doing such a foul thing, literally unprecedented in Total Drama? I'm not at liberty to say but be assured, I have my reasons. **Good reasons.**

"While I truly don't care what you people think of me, I do want to clarify one vital detail. My desire to form true friendships with Mary, Joey, and Owen is sincere. They might become my first friends. I hope they do. Even so, I don't fully trust them. I've fallen into that trap too often. I need to look for myself in this competition because nobody else will. Nobody else ever does." Solita says, switching from a fairly neutral tone to one more downtrodden and bitter.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**These this endnote is already going to be massive, there will be nothing that doesn't have a number except a recapping of the matches in the first round and the weapons being used. **

**1. Melody (Jian sword) vs. Giavanna (****Scottish Broadsword)**

**2. Joseph (****Janbiya dagger)**** vs. Britney (Cutlass)**

**3. Harold (Katana) vs. DJ (Guan Dao Pole Sword)**

**4. Rob (CRK 9-inch Combat Knife) vs. Sadie** (**Katar Daggers)**

**5. Duncan** (**Kilij) vs. Greg (Gladius short swords)**

**6. Nise (Xiphos Short Sword) vs. Jo (Two-Handed Highlander Claymore)**

**7. Solita (Khanda) vs. Anne Maria** (**Machete)**

**8. Katie** (**KA-BAR Combat knives) vs. Cody (Falcata)**

**9. Chris (Norman Broadsword) vs. Staci (French Rapier)**

**10. Mary** (**Cruciform) vs. Carlyle (Bowie Knife)**

**11. Owen (Glaive) vs. Leshawna (Naginata Pole Sword) **

**12. Nanon (Recon-1 Combat Knife) vs. Damian (Viking Long Sword)**

**13. Jay (Kukri) vs. Mathieu (Cavalry Saber)**

**14. Erebus** (**Custom-Made Cane Sword) vs. Francisco (Sword of Mars)**

**15. Justin (Arabian Scimitar) vs. Noah (Kopis Short Sword)**

**16. Ari (Ninjatos) vs. Izzy (Twin Hooks)**

**(1) This is our attempt at having a true Total Drama style opening. Similar to the initial interactions, some of these brief scenes have a deeper meaning and are foreshadowing. Others are simply little moments that we thought would be funny or to fit characters in. Once again, the task of determining which are which falls upon you to figure out. **

**(2) ****Kukri- An extremely sharp curved blade, almost looks like a boomerang with a sharp end and handle… commonly used as a tool and weapon by the British-Aligned Ghurkha Mercenaries. Ideal for throwing and stabbing.**

**(3) Highlander Claymore- An extremely long and heavy double edged blade made famous in Braveheart, originally used by the ancient Celts and their Scottish descendants, including William Wallace and Jack Churchill.**

**(4) Xiphos short sword- As mentioned, was the main blade of the Spartan Army, if you've seen 300 or know ANYTHING about ancient Spartan warfare, you know this blade, and how brutally effective it is despite its small size.**

**(5) ****Ninjato Short blades- A shorter version of the katana commonly used by Ninjas.**

**(6) This is ****Sebastian, an OC from The Kobold ****Necromancer's amazing story "Total Drama Battlegrounds". Seriously, if you haven't read this story or its prequel, "Total Drama Comeback", then I highly recommend them! They are truly amazing stories! **

**(7) ****Kilij- A heavy, long razor sharp sword that could reportedly cut through 2-3 people at once in the right hands. Was the sword Vlad Tepes (Aka the Impaler) carried into battle.**

**(8) ****Janbiya dagger- A long curved dagger used by Arabian tribes for 1000 year before the debut of Islam. **

**(9) Cruciform sword- Was the common sword among 15****th**** century British and French knights during the 15****th**** century. Double edged, is so named because its hilt is designed to look like a crucifix.**

**(10) Falcata- A slightly-curved Iron Sword, was famously wielded by the Carthagian ruler and master general Hannibal during his campaign to destroy the Roman Empire, the 20 year long second Punic War.**

**(11) ****Sword of Mars**- **Long, heavy double-edged sword used by Attila the Hun in battle.**

**(12) Gladius short swords- Was the standard blade used by the Roman Army during the time of Christ.**

**(13) Arabian Scimitar- The standard infantry blade of the Ottoman Empire, long, thin, curved single edge sword.**

**(14) Katar daggers- An exotic "Push Dagger" from India, was basically a 10-inch double-edged wedge connected to a handle, was used like brass and spiked knuckles are today, except far more bloody and brutal.**

**(15) KA-BAR combat knives- The standard combat knife of the U.S Army for almost a century, is still issued to armies world-wide today, including Israel, Australia, India, and our own Canadian forces.**

**(16) Guan Dao pole sword- Was a 10-inch curved single-edge blade connected to a staff, was used mainly by the Ming Dynasty in China.**

**(17) Glaive pole sword- Basically the western version of the Guan Dao, with a heavier blade at the end. Commonly used throughout Medieval Europe, but most commonly in Russia, Romania, Serbia, and their neighbors.**

**(18) ****CRK Mark IV 9-inch combat knife- A long double-edge straight blade used by special forces throughout the world, Including the U.S Army Rangers, and our own Canadian Forces Joint Task Force 2. Production of this model ceased in 2009, still commonly available.**

**(19) ****Norman Broadsword- A heavy, unwieldy (in the wrong hands) straight, double-edged sword, used by William the Conqueror.**

**(20) ****Twin Hook swords- An extremely exotic sword used by Shaolin Monks, had a hooked end, and blades surrounding the handle so Two of them could be linked together and used like a whip or ball and chain. Can also be used to effectively disarm your opponent quickly**

**(21) ****Scottish Broadsword- Another sword made famous by William Wallace, is significantly easier to carry and use than its Norman descendant, but just as deadly, if not more so.**

**(22) Recon-1 Combat Knife- The current standard issue Combat knife of the U.S Army, shorter than the older KA-BAR, but concealable and just as deadly.**

**(23) Jian sword- A long, thin, double-edged straight blade was common from the Han all the way to the Qing Dynasty.**

**(24) Viking Long Sword- The main sword of the Vikings… Heavy, razor sharp double-edge.**

**(25) Kopis Short Sword- The ancestor of the Falcata, was the blade that Alexander the Great used to cut out an Empire that stretched from Egypt to the border of modern-day India.**

**(26) Naginata pole sword- Like the Guan Dao and Glaive is a straight blade connected to a staff… but that's where the similarities end. The blade is lighter, more curved, sharper, and the staff is longer and lighter. A perfect mid-distance weapon for a samurai.**

**(27) Khanda sword- Another blade from India is a double-edged long sword without a point at the end.**

**(28) Cutlass- Come on… do I really need to explain what a cutlass is? If seen any movie involving pirates (Hook, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.), you know what a cutlass is.**

**Side notes:**

**I must really thank my partner-in-crime, Rufus T. Serenity, who did 75% of the work on this chapter while I was sick, thanks dude!**

**Total Drama and all its characters belong to Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV Productions, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network.**

**The OC'S Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me, all the others belong to Rufus and CRGGL respectively.**

**Basic storyline by CRGGL.**


	5. What is Real? Episode 3, part 2

**Total Drama, What is Real? Episode 3: At a blade's edge (Part 2)**

* * *

**Author's Note: Due to the amount of time that each fight takes to write, presented here are the first eight fights of the first round. And if you want to see more of my partner Rufus T Serenity's stuff, and my mine: I recommend Rufus' MikexZoey tale "Mad Mikey", and my own masterpiece "TOTAL DRAMA ALL-STARS!" Now that that brief explanation and little bit of shameless self-promotion is done with… on with the show everybody! **

* * *

"And now we're back guys, everyone's now fully suited up and ready to get medieval on each other's asses!" Kevin exclaims.

Indeed everyone was suited up in Dragonscale, from head to toe, with the exception of Dawn who had been given a pardon from participating in this challenge due to odd number of those fighting. Each suit is custom fitted to conform to the wearer's figure, even enhancing it… much to the delight of almost everyone.

Everyone is differentiated from each other by their team's insignia on their shoulders… a green "PP" within a triangle which is inside a hexagon for the Polygons, for the Cyborgs a square robot head with big red "CC"'s with each one where an eye should be and two TV antenna on the top of its head, and finally a circular digitized looking human head with a blue "AA" behind it for the Avatars.

"H-hey Dawn… could I have y-you're sword please?" Nise asks. Dawn hands Nise her French Arming Sword **(1)**.

"You're terrified at the prospect of dueling with Jo huh?" Dawn asks, not needing her aura sensing abilities to realize this.

"W-wow, j-just noticed that now did you?" Nise replies sarcastically in spite of her terror-filled trembling.

"Huh, so you do have an edge somewhere inside…" Dawn says, smiling before adding with a comforting pat on her shoulder, "Don't worry, you're inner strength will show itself eventually."

Nise looks at Dawn, smiles, and spins the surprisingly light Arming Sword in her right hand. She didn't know how but somehow Dawn's voice and attitude had a way of taking the edge off.

"T-thanks, and maybe, just maybe…" Nise finally stops trembling as she brings the blade close to her face, and grins with satisfaction, a renewed confidence, and even some small enthusiasm. "I might just have a chance after all."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! That's adorable! The Baby Rattle thinks she has a chance at beating me just because she has another blade!" Jo exclaims mockingly. She then walks right in front of Nise, looks down directly at her, and cracks her knuckles while saying coldly with a evil smirk, "I'm just gonna get this out of the way right now, no matter how smart you are, no matter what gadgets you might bring against me… you'll never win."

"What a bitch!" Jay whispers to his pals Damian and DJ, they both nod as they glare at Jo.

Nise's face falls in response, and Dawn's face contorts in anger. This didn't go unnoticed.

"Oh… did I make you angry Creepy Girl by stating the facts to Baby Rattle?" Jo says coldly.

Suddenly Dawn's face brightens with a mischievous smile. "No… I just figured out why you've picked on Nise mercilessly ever since she got off the bus".

Jo crosses her arms, and smiles in response as she asks, "Now what is that?"

"You're afraid of Nise." Dawn says with not a bit of wavering uncertainty in her answer.

Jo uncrosses her arms and frowns. There's a slight growl in her voice as she replies, pointing at Nise, "Now why would I ever be afraid of THAT?"

"For the same reason that you now respect Cameron. He was half you're size, and not nearly as strong. You underestimated Cam every step of the way, saw him as expendable and he made you pay for that mistake. He beat you at your own game… and now you're **afraid** Nise will do the same." Dawn finishes, a slight smile break through her previously matter-of-factly façade.

Jo's right eye twitches in extreme irritation for a second, but then she shouts, "It would be a COLD DAY IN HELL that I would EVER be "afraid" of the Baby Rattle… or you! Watch your backs, because I will crush both of you under my foot!"

Furious but unable to think of any means of retaliating for the moment, Jo stomped off fuming.

Nise smiles at Dawn and says, "Thanks…"

"No problem Nise… someone needs to stand up to bullies like Jo." Dawn says as she walks off, smiling triumphantly.

"Looks like the bitch just got burned." Jay says with a smile, having seen everything.

"Yeah, now I'm remembering why I like Dawn so much." Damian replies.

"It's gonna be a fun ride this year as long as Dawn is around." DJ adds.

"Oh hell yes!" Jay exclaims as they all fist-bump, grinning ear-to-ear.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I thought I handled that well…" Dawn says with a satisfied smirk on her face.

(Static)

"That was so sweet! I wish I had I had a tape recorder for that little exchange! Bullies getting called on their bullshit… it will **never** get old for me." Jay says, grinning ear-to-ear.

(Static)

"I'm glad I have a friend like Dawn." Nise says smiling. Then her smile fades, and she trembles in terror while gulping out, "I think she just made Jo angrier though… g-god help me…"

(Static)

Jo's right eye is twitching, and she's shaking in rage. "I will CRUSH the Baby Rattle first…" She smiles viciously as she continues in scream, "Then Dawn, YOU'RE NEXT!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"**Ahem! **Back to me please guys… thanks." Kevin says as everyone looks back at him.

"Anyways guys and gals… here are the rules. You lose **IF** you any of the following six things happens during your fight. One, you **surrender**. Two, you are **stabbed at the heart, your right side, or slashed in the neck area,** as these are all instant kills or mortal wounds in a real fight. Three, you are **forced out** **of the dueling ring** by your opponent. Four, your weapon or weapons is **destroyed **in the fight. Five, you **lose grip** on your weapon, drop it, and your opponent manages to keep it away for you for longer than a minute. Or six, your **knocked unconscious** by your opponent. And those are the rules everyone… are their any questions?" Kevin finishes with.

No one raised their hands or spoke for over ten seconds. The rules were pretty straightforward.

"No? Good." Kevin says as if that were the end of his speech until, "Oh, and one last thing guys. Under me, the new regime here at Total Drama actually gives a crap about its contestants this year. So all of you will be wearing these awesome assassin masks and gloves today!"

An intern rolls a cart with these masks that almost look like leather Ski Masks, expect with tinted goggles. And like the insignias, they were color coded for each team. The Avatars had blue, the Cyborgs had red, and the Polygons had green. The gauntlets are black for all three teams and stretched to halfway along the forearm.

"These double Kevlar-lined masks and gauntlets will hopefully protect you from facial and arm injuries" Kevin says, proud of that fact.

"Um… Kevin, I wear glasses so…" Nise tries to say before Kevin interrupts her. "Don't worry Nise; I have already have taken the liberty of providing you and anyone else who needs them with contacts." Kevin says as he pulls out a box of disposable contacts as he adds with a warm smile, "You won't even need to use eye drops with these, they're top of the line."

"Wow, you guys have thought of everything!" Nise says impressed.

"We're not perfect, we really aren't, but we try." Kevin says grinning reassuredly. Most of the original cast members are speechless for a second.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"That's… actually a pleasantly surprising change of pace for this show." Noah says as he's pulling on his mask. "It's not very often that this show surprises me… especially not like this. Total Drama treating us like human beings will take some getting used to."

(Static)

"The host actually being considerate? Top of the line safety equipment custom-made for us?! Uh, did I end up in alternate dimension at some point?" Duncan asks, confused and bewildered.

(Static)

"You know, Kevin might actually be a magician? My evidence? He made Total Drama somewhat civilized and reasonable! If you don't call that magic, I don't know what is!?" Mathieu exclaims, truly impressed by Kevin's begin behaviour in this season so far.

(Static)

"Now I look handsome **and **badass… is there a greater winning combination out there? Didn't think so." Justin says confidently, mask on, and just pulling his gloves onto his hands.

(Static)

"Now there's only one thing to do at this point…" Joseph says fully suited up as he pulls out his dagger.

"And that is kicking some pop princess ass… FOR THE LORD!" He screams with unbridled enthusiasm. He then gasps at what he just said, pulls out his rosary, and prays for forgiveness.

(Static)

"Everyone here thinks me a liar, an incompetent, and a fool." Staci states bitterly. Then she says with the glee clear through her mask as she looks at her gleaming sword, "I deeply look forward to proving them all wrong."

(Static)

"Well, I sure ended up in the right season. This is gonna be a cakewalk!" Jay states confidently.

(Static)

"Kevin was so considerate; it's good to have host on our side!" Nise exclaims. Then chills shoot up her spine as she states, "N-now if I can just s-s-surv-vive Jo's w-wrath, I'm g-golden."

(Static)

"Its payback time you big bitch!" Melody snarls, the hate and rage clear even through the mask.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Alright, now that you're all changed and armed to the teeth… **TO THE DUELING RING!**" Kevin exclaims in a booming, boisterous tone.

* * *

**AT THE DUELING RING…**

"Well everyone… let's get these mostly action-packed duels underway, shall we? First up… it's the newly anointed captain of the Crushing Cyborgs, Melody vs. the Avatar's gigantic redhead, Giavanna!" Kevin announces excitedly.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I'm really in a lose-lose situation aren't I? Melody loses, I risk upsetting poor Jay and Erebus even more not to mention adding to my own sense of overbearing guilt. But if I don't win I'll be letting my team down and will be a failure to them. What do I do?!" Gia exclaims in despair.

(Static)

"I've said all I wanted to say…" Melody says pulling out her blade. "Let's just get out of the way shall we?"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**DUEL #1: Giavanna (****Scottish Broadsword: large double-edge sword)**** vs. Melody (****Jian sword: long thin sword)****! **

As Melody and Gia step into the ring, Mel slips on the grease and falls flat on her face to the laugher of almost everyone (Jay, Erebus, and Gia excluded).

"Hey Melody, are you okay?" Giavanna asks while extending a helping hand.

"Get away from me bitch!" Mel screams, slapping Gia's hand away. Getting back on her feet, the Mirror Image growls out "Let's just get this over with!"

"Fine by me." Giavanna says in reply, the frustration in her voice is unhidden.

"You guys ready to duel?" Kevin asks. After both of them nod yes, he then adds, "Then let's get it on already!"

Melody starts by running head-on to Gia, and raising her arms for a vicious slash with her Chinese sword that was over 30 inches long. But in her vigour at finally attacking the Tall Bombshell, she slips and slides on the greased platform and unintentionally slams into one of Gia's elbows. As the protective lenses on her mask crack, the momentum of the unintentional blow knocks her out cold and causes her to slide off of the platform after hitting the ground hard.

Giavanna rips off her mask, and gasps in horror. She, Erebus, Jay, and even Damian run over to Melody to check and see if she's okay.

"Good god! Is she okay?" Gia asks in concern. As Jay and Damian carry her to the medic tent, Jay replies with a sardonic bite "Why in the hell should you care? You won right?!"

While Melody was being carried away for a second time, Gia lowered her head in shame.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"What have I done?! Even when I'm not truly to people get hurt around me!" Giavanna exclaims in absolute and shame-filled horror. And though her face was far above the camera's vision, the tears that were falling to the ground from her starting to cry were not and easily seen.

(Static)

"As shocking as it is, even I was a little upset! Mel may not be the nicest person and I may have wanted to see her lose but she's still my sister, and you stick by your family when it counts. Even if that same family have brought you nothing be pain by acidic association." Damian says.

But then the Hellraiser's face becomes one of pondering as he says, "But the way Mel went out… it just doesn't add up. There's no way she should have slid across the platform like that…not on her own anyway. Someone sabotaged it beforehand! There's no other explanation!"

(Static)

"I see the grease is doing its job perfectly… check and mate!" Solita says while smiling evilly. The Orphan then breathes on her knuckles and rubs it on her shirt triumphantly as she then adds, "I'm Awesome."

(Static)

Jay simply stares into the camera clearly enraged at this point with his right eye twitching.

"**That's IT!** Next round…" Jay shouts violently while cracking his knuckles. "Boobzilla over there is going down, **HARDCORE** style! I just have to get through Matt…"

Jay stops speaking as a laugh escapes him, "That guy's an insult to all illusionists everywhere! Should be an easy win."

(Static)

"It sadly appears that my fears about Giavanna's superior power over Melody were more than my fright. Now I only hope that the lovely Melody is all right?" Erebus says, clearly upset.

(Static)

Melody is in the Confessional, looking around as if she's never seen anything like it before. It's painfully obvious that she is dazed and confused thanks to her accidently injuries from the fight.

"There are bubbles all around me… but when I touch them, I POP! So much… spinning… pop, spin, POP! He-he-he." The Heather Clone starts giggling uncontrollably like a little schoolgirl.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Okay, that was anti-climactic. Next up is the Captain of the Avatars, Joseph! And he goes up against the music gal with attitude to spare… BRITNEY!" Kevin exclaims, smiling at his sister. She rolls her eyes, and then puts on her mask.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"'The Music gal with attitude to spare'… seriously?!" Britney exclaims before adding arrogantly, "No matter… I'm still gonna clean the floor with that little Egyptian boy!"

(Static)

"I'm starting to have second thoughts about this whole thing. I don't know about this…the last time I was in a fight like this…" Joseph says with a violent shiver and a terrified expression. "I'd rather not say why and I try not to think about it. I hope Britney's as incapable as I think she is."

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**DUEL #2: Britney (****Cutlass: in endnotes) ****vs. Joseph (****Janbiya dagger: long curved dagger)****!**

Joseph and Britney walked onto the duelling platform. Brit pulled out her Cutlass **(2)**, and waved it in her hand. While doing so she says with confidence dripping even through the mask, "I hope you like dirt naps Joseph!"

Joseph stiffens and barely contains an angered growl as he replies, "We'll see", as he angrily rips his dagger out of its scabbard.

"You guys ready?!" Kevin exclaims. They both nod. "Then go for it!"

Britney started off the proceedings without hesitation by punching Joseph in the stomach, stunning him and putting him on the defensive almost immediately. From there, Brit began slashing wildly as Joseph was desperately blocking them with either his dagger or left forearm. With a particularly vicious downward slash, Britney forced Joseph to side-dodge it. However, the grease on the platform caused him to lose his footing and fall onto his side.

With Joseph still slightly stunned and still lying on the ground, Britney stood above him. Raising her Cutlass sword high above his head, Britney says to Joseph with a hint of glee in her voice, "Say goodnight Joey."

As the Songstress had the short, broad and slightly curved blade of the Cutlass above him, Joseph almost failed to notice the situation that he was in. Though the blade was falling, it didn't matter. Time almost seemed to stand still and reality was now put on pause…at least to Joseph. As the blade stopped in mid-strike to him, everything around him was melted away before him.

Losing focus on his surroundings, Joseph started to experience sensations not really there. A dark déjà vu was now hovering of the Arabic teenager. Though his goggles casted everything in blue, Joseph began to see red…**blood red.** Britney's voice became replaced by another voice. It was the voice that Joseph had heard while lying on the sandy earth helpless under a sword.

By now, the blood pounding in his ears and his spiking heartbeat rose to a defeating volume. The voice, but not Britney's voice, had drowned out all sound expect that, the voice he remembered.

* * *

"_Say goodnight infidel!" __**(3)**_ _The tall, imposing Arab man said as he brought his large knife over Joseph's head. The boy not even thirteen was frozen with fright as the man_ _grinned manically. _

_But then, the man vanished! It took a second for Joseph to realize that someone had tackled him. And it took a few more seconds for Joseph to realize that the thin but tall boy who tackled the Arab man with the large knife was none other than his older brother Abel! _

_As the older brother was struggling to get the knife from the bigger and bulker man, he shouted, "Run Joseph, RUN!" _

_Overwhelmed and not knowing what to do, the kid Joseph ran as fast as his legs could carry him. After having traveled a little distance away, against all logical reasoning, Joseph looked back. _

_Doing so, Joseph saw a sight more ghastly and horrific than any he could have conceived of…_

_**He saw the Arab man just as he plunged his large knife into his older brother's stomach! **_

"_NOOOOOOOOO!" The young Joseph screamed as he began running with tears in his eyes. _

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Joseph screamed in a sudden rage back in the fighting arena!

He no longer saw Britney or any of the other contestants watching him. He only saw that vile man and his brother's blood as it was pouring out of his increasingly motionless body!

Unaware of his teeth grinding against each other or the motions of his own body, Joseph brought upon Britney what he wished he could have done to his brother's murderer all those years ago.

With a motion that shocked everyone with its animalistic intensity, Joseph rose to his feet as he head-butted Britney hard smack dab in the forehead. After staggering back from the hit, she shook it off and picked up the Cutlass that had fallen out of her grasp during the swift head-butt.

Seeing his opponent back on their feet (they had no identity) Joseph charged at them. As he ran, he saw the glistening of some unknown liquid (the grease from Solita) and formed an idea. Positioning himself just right, Joseph actually used the greased platform to his advantage. Riding it for maximum speed, he lowered his fist and unleashed a devastating uppercut as he passed!

Britney was sent crashing to the ground. But Joseph wasn't done with his opponent yet!

Turning back around, Joseph was now directly over Britney and he primed his Janbiya dagger. Seeing only the face of the man who killed his older brother, he plunged the dagger at her chest! With no restraint he drove the dagger at her as deep as he could again, and again, and again!

As Britney was lying there, not because of any true physical injury but instead traumatic shock, Joseph rose to his feet with a triumphant roar that disturbed many of those watching him. In a move that seemed completely out of character for the until now calm and reasonable teen, Joseph shouted as loud as he could, **"I KICK ASS FOR THE LORD!"**

However, as soon as those words escaped his lips, Joseph shook his head violently. Seemingly dazed, he looked around as if he had been in a trance or if bees had been swarming in his head.

"Wha-What just happened?" Jospeh asked confused.

Everyone was staring at him with varying degrees of curiosity, shock, or outright terror. No one had those expressions more so than Kevin, who announced Joseph's victory despite his horror.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Oh God no… it's starting again! I thought Joseph dealt with Abel's death… but apparently he isn't completely at peace with it." Mary says as she pulls out her rosary, and begins to tear up. "Lord in Heaven, please help him, keep him safe, and prevent him from harming the others."

(Static)

"I-I don't know what happened, I… I…" Joseph says in genuine confusion before he goes pale and gulps in horror, "…Blacked out".

He then becomes very distressed and frenzied as he screams at the top of his lungs "No, no, no, NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING, NOT AGAIN! WHY DOES HE CONTINUE TO HAUNT ME?!"

In basic human confusion, Joseph pounds his fists against the wall of the confessional, as if he were trying to beat his psychological problem into submission while knowing better than that.

After a few moments of hitting the Confessional walls, he says barely choking back tears, "The… nightmare… begins… again." With that, Joseph ran out of the confessional to cry alone.

(Static)

Britney is curled up in a ball in the confessional, trembling in fear.

"W-well, that's-s the last time I fight with Joey…" She says before burying her head in her knees and begins to sob loudly in fear and agony, causing it to echo.

(Static)

Solita looks truly dumbfounded by what she has just discovered about one of her few friends.

"Looks like Joey has some serious problems in the head, I wonder if there's a way to twist that to my advantage…" She gasps in shock at what she just said, and slaps her forehead angrily.

"NO! I won't do that, not a chance in hell; I will not betray one of the only friends I ever had like that… EVER!"

(Static)

"I'm truly torn about what I have just seen. On the one hand, I'm shocked and horrified by that sudden shift from Joseph. But on the other hand…" Carlyle says with a heavy voice before…

"'I kick ass for the Lord'? "Dead Alive" reference for the win Joseph!" Carlyle adds with his more common movie-based energy.

"Though I highly doubt he's seen it, he doesn't seem like the type to watch a zombie "comedy" that's also one of the goriest movie ever made. Looking back on it, it's hard to believe that Peter Jackson made mostly brilliant and over-the-top dark humored gross-out movies before directing the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. But as shocking as "Dead Alive" is, its got nothing on "Meet the Feebles"! Its pretty hard to top a dark satire of "The Muppets Show" that not only has a frog whose a Vietnam vet with PTSD and a heroin addiction but also a musical number extolling the virtues of sodomy." Carlyle says before looking directly into the camera and adding, "No, I'm not making this up. There really is a vicious Muppet satire directed by the guy who would direct "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And next up is the Captain of the Pummeling Polygons, Harold vs. the ever present and never to be underestimated Brickhouse, DJ!" Kevin says, hoping to forget what he had just seen.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I'm fairly certain I can win this match despite DJ's size, and the superior reach of the Guan Dao because I'm a master of the ancient art of the Katana quick-draw. Observe…" Harold says.

The Nerd then puts his hand on the on the Katana, and in the blink of an eye, draws it out of the scabbard, inadvertently slicing the confessional cam in half.

(Static)

"Wow, Harold did a number on the last camera didn't he?" DJ says with a light chuckle before saying happily, "Anyway, if I can just keep Harold at a distance… maybe I can muscle him off the platform, and I won't have to hurt him at all! Everybody wins… well, except for Harold."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**DUEL #3: DJ (****Guan Dao Pole Sword: 10-inch blade on a staff)**** vs. Harold (****Katana)! **

Harold and DJ step onto the platform, and face each other. Harold gives DJ a respective bow, and DJ replies with his own bow in kind.

"Hey, are you guys ready?" Kevin asks the two teens.

"Totally!" Harold replies, having a firm grip on the handle of his blade, but hasn't pulled it out yet.

"Definitely!" DJ says, surprisingly eager for DJ, holding the Guan Dao out, ready to strike.

"Alright then… go at it kiddies!"

DJ decided to move first by charging at Harold as he just stood there. But in a flash, as DJ is about to hit him in the chest with the Guan Dao, Harold slides away, and quick draws his Katana, slicing the Guan Dao in half like it's butter. Just as effortlessly, Harold then makes a quick, clean strike to DJ neck with the second, ending the match.

"Holy crap that was quick! Harold wins!" Kevin exclaims, surprised.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

"H-he was so fast… how did he do that?!" DJ says, still in reeling shock.

(Static)

"And that is why an amateur shouldn't challenge the Mad Skillz Master!" Harold says proudly.

(Static)

Ari is doing as he/she always does, writing on his/her notepad before showing it to the camera.

"_Looks I have some real competition on this team… good, now it gets fun!"_

You can just feel that he/she is smiling under that mask.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And now we move onto a fight that I ain't expecting to amount to much… the Cyborg's military-trained sniper, Rob vs. The Avatar's Sadie!" Kevin says

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Damn, I don't think I can do this… I wanted a worthy opponent, but Sadie is so out of my league it's sad. I can't beat her in good conscience, no way." Rob says sadly to the camera.

(Static)

"Gulp… I'm doomed." Sadie says with that being all she can say with the fear gripping her.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #4: Rob (****CRK 9-inch Combat Knife: self explanatory) ****vs. Sadie (****Katar Daggers: 10-inch double-edged wedge connected to a handle)! **

Rob and Sadie step onto the platform. Neither participant looks comfortable, though for different reasons. But then Rob's face shows a sudden realization.

"Hey Kevin… is it possible for someone to drop out the match before it starts?" Rob asks.

"Actually, yes. Yes it is." Kevin replies.

"Look, Sadie can I speak to you for a second? While I don't like to toot my own horn, I think we both know who's going to win this one. If we go at it, I will be forced to absolutely brutalize you. I don't want to have to but I can't quit… my team needs this win." Rob says level-headedly.

"So… you want me to drop out?" Sadie asks.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm offering you; I don't like to beat on the outmatched." Rob replies.

Sadie thinks about it for a second before saying, "I'll do it. Kevin, I forfeit this match to Rob."

Seeing Sadie clearly relieved, Rob can't help but lightly smile as he hears Kevin proclaim, "Okay then… Rob wins for the Cyborgs by forfeit!"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Whew! I thought I was done for sure! I wasn't expecting Rob to be merciful like that, he's not such a bad guy after-all." Sadie says, very relieved.

(Static)

"I am not a sadist. I wouldn't have enjoyed that, at all. I am very happy that Sadie saw reason. And I'm sure I'll find a worthy challenge in the second round." Rob says both happy with the results obtained and confidently for the next round of fights.

(Static)

"Told 'ya that Rob wasn't all that bad!" Katie says happily.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And next… we have a match-up between two rivals who hate each others guts to the core and would probably end up killing each other if not for the body armor… GREG VS. DUNCAN!" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I'm so going to enjoy seeing that damn arrogant twerp on the ground! The only way this could be better is if I could actually see him bleed!" Duncan says with the malice clear as day.

(Static)

"I'm really sorry Gwen…but Duncan is going down today!" Greg yells angrily.

(Static)

"I really hope Greg has it in him to kick Duncan's sorry ass ten ways from Sunday… cheating bastards like that need to be put down like the dogs they are!" Jay exclaims with hate in his eyes.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #5: Duncan (****Kilij: heavy, long razor sharp sword) ****vs. Greg (****Gladius short swords: short swords)! **

Duncan and Greg step onto the platform. As he enters the arena, Duncan gets boos from all three benches, even the Polygons. Duncan replies by giving them all three teams the finger.

"Well, aren't you Mr. Popular?" Greg says, chuckling.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up twerp. That's gonna make no difference in the end, I'm still gonna hand you your ass!" Duncan replies.

Greg growls, pulls out his swords, cracks his neck, and says, "We'll see about that."

"You guys ready to go?!" Kevin asks.

"Do you even have to ask?" Greg replies.

"All right then you guys… GO AT IT!" Kevin yells with enthusiasm.

Duncan pulls out his Kilij and charges straight at Greg, with him doing the same in kind. The joust ends with Duncan going for a heavy overhead strike. But Greg blocks it with his blades.

With them holding their blades against the others in the air, Greg kicks Duncan in the stomach. Successfully stunning Duncan, Greg followed this up with lightning fast quick strikes over and over with both blades. Kept on the defensive, Duncan struggled to keep up with the Prankster's blows as the weight of his blade now being turned against him.

"Screw this shit." Duncan mutters before stomping on Greg's left foot, hard, causing the Prankster to yelp in pain and momentarily call off his attack. This gives Duncan all the time he needs to punch Greg hard in the face, knocking him to the ground. He then brings his sword down onto the fallen Greg, but Greg rolls out of the way as Duncan gets his blade stuck in the platform.

Greg gets up, grabs his Gladius blades, and charges straight for Duncan. Duncan has just enough time to raise his forearms, to block them, and then quickly punches the unprepared Greg in the face. This is followed by another punch to the body, and an uppercut so hard it makes a slight ***CRACK******* sound, knocking Greg on his ass.

Duncan at this point finally jiggles his sword free, and tries to stab the fallen Greg again… only for Greg to use the greased platform to scoot out of the way.

Enraged by this, Duncan starts making wild swings at the quick and agile prankster, only for Greg to dodge them easily, playing the greased floor to his advantage.

"Aw… you getting tired Duncan?" Greg teases mockingly.

"Shut up!" Duncan yells.

Finally, Duncan throws down his sword in frustration as he says, "Fuck it! I'll use what I'm good with… MY FISTS!"

Duncan changes headlong into Greg, tacking him to the ground, and knocking his blades away. He gets on top of him, and starts punching him over, and over, and over again.

Blood actually starts to seep through Greg's mask, and he suddenly falls limp. Duncan, satisfied that he's suitably beaten down, walks over to his blade, and picks it up.

"Time to finish the-wha?!" Duncan says as barely blocks yet another hard dual strike from Greg.

"Why won't you stay down?!" Duncan screams in frustration.

Laughing a little, Greg responds with, "What can I say? Call me a glutton for punishment."

Duncan finally manages to overpower the beaten and worn down Greg, knocking one of his blades out of his hands causing him to slip on the grease. The Punk then tries to plunge the Kilij into Greg's chest, but he stops the blade with his right hand, the tip managing to poke through his glove causing it to bleed. He grabs it with both hands and tries to wrestle it from Duncan's grip.

"Let… ***pant***… GO!" Duncan says loudly.

"Not a chance!" Greg exclaims through gritted teeth.

Duncan finally pulls it out of Greg's hands, and he tries to plunge it in at a lower angle. Greg catches it again, but with a little extra bit of force from Duncan, Greg can't hold it back anymore. Duncan finally succeeds in plunging his Kilij into Greg's chest as it slips through the prankster's hands, ending the match, and giving Duncan a very hard-fought win.

"Damn it." Greg says, exasperated.

"Looks like I won in the end, like I said I would." Duncan says, ripping off his mask, grinning ear to ear. Greg gets up, and pulls off his mask, his cheeks are swollen, and his nose is bleeding, as is his mouth with several cuts on his lips.

Greg spits out a large glob of blood as he says between gasps, "And you just have to rub some salt in the wound don't you?"

"Damn straight twerp!" Duncan replies, grinning even wider now after seeing Greg's beaten and bloodied face for himself.

"And Duncan wins after the most intense and bloody match we've seen yet! Give both of these guys a huge round of applause everyone!" Kevin says, and everyone starts cheering, whooping, and applauding the both of them as they leave the platform.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Duncan is absolutely drenched in sweat, looking worse than he has ever before on Total Drama.

"Wow, that was actually a really good fight and it felt so good to get that out of my system!" Duncan says before cracking his neck.

"I actually expected him to go down easy… ***pant*** damn I was I ever wrong, and no, I'm not ashamed to admit that. The ***pant*** twerp's quicker than I gave him credit for, and ***pant*** he's relentless, just keeps on coming until you beat him ***pant*** to the point that he can't see straight anymore. You can ***pant*** obviously tell he's related to ***pant*** Pasty and takes after her a lot." Duncan admitted in between heavy pants.

"But this isn't the end of things between us, not by a long shot! He has many, MANY months left of karma coming to him and I'm going to milk it for all it's worth." Duncan finishes with as he cracks his knuckles.

(Static)

Greg is panting heavily as a female intern is attending to his wounded and bleeding hand.

"I… may not have won yo, but… I sure as hell didn't make it easy on that punk wannabe creep!" Greg exclaims with pride, then hacks and coughs up some more blood.

"Are you sure you're all-right sweetie?" The intern asks, concerned for him.

"It's… its all good Charlotte **(4)**, thanks for patching me up, you did pretty damn good job for a Total Drama intern yo." Greg says smiling gratefully.

"Oh! It was nothing, first aid training is a wonderful thing to have." Charlotte says, positively beaming with pride despite herself.

"I bet… anyway. Duncan, you may have won this battle… But the war has just begun yo. And I WILL be top dog at the end, I guarantee it!" Greg says with the utmost confidence and a determined grin painted on his beat-up face.

(Static)

"DAMN… does Greg know how to take a punch or what?! I was very surprised; this is so much better than what I could've possibly hoped for! Greg is going to be a very valuable chess piece to have in this game! He just needs a little nudge in the right direction… and everything will fall into place in my favour." Jay says with confidence.

(Static)

"Greg can take punches, and roll with them. Now all he needs to do is throw some of his own. With people like him… I can safely say I ended up on the right team." Rob says with pride.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And now… our second overpowered match… Hard-core Jo vs. our little genius… Nise!" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I think I'll make the same offer that Rob made Sadie, makes me look like a decent person, and reveals the Baby Rattle as t-the f-f-frail and a-afraid of her own shadow pussy that she truly is!" Jo says, mocking Nise's social anxiety by pretending to stammer.

(Static)

"Now comes Nise's first true test. I truly hope she's up to the challenge, I want to see her find her inner strength." Dawn says.

(Static)

"A-am I afraid? No. **TERRIFIED!?** Yes!" Nise exclaims fearfully. But then she regains herself.

"But if I give in… if I let Jo win… that will just give her all the incentive she needs to continue tormenting me, and I'm already tired of it. I've dealt enough with that at home as it is now!

"I also noticed something… the floor seems to be greased for some reason, and Harold, Joseph, and Greg used that to the utmost advantage… negating the benefits of their opponents' longer and/or heavier weapon…

"I'm betting despite Jo's massive strength, she'll only be able to handle that Claymore, one of the heaviest swords here, for only so long. And she'll have maybe two or three good swings before she gets tired, then it's a matter of diminishing returns with each subsequent swing. From there, I can use that greased floor and my own compact size to my advantage.

"If I play cards right… I might teach Jo a lesson in humility today." Nise says to conclude her recording her thoughts with renewed confidence from having analyzed the situation.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #6: Jo (****Highlander Claymore: extremely long and heavy double edged blade)**** vs. Nise (****Xiphos short sword and French Arming Sword)! **

Like all the others before them, Jo and Nise step up to the dueling platform, and face each other.

"You know Nise, I think I'm going to give you the same offer Rob gave Sadie earlier, you can back out now if you wish." Jo says, obviously smiling under her mask.

"N-no." Nise says with a slight tremble.

"WHAT?!" Jo yells angrily, caught by surprise.

"I-said NO! I'm n-not going to let you t-trample all over me a-anymore! **THIS ENDS NOW!**" Nise screams at the top of her lungs, causing Kevin, and several others to practically jump out of their seats, and Dawn to smile with pride.

"Heh, you actually have a spine uh? I'm gonna be real happy when I break it in my hands!" Jo exclaims with borderline-homicidal glee. She pulls out the claymore, and slams it into the arena.

"Be afraid Baby Rattle!" Jo exclaims. Nise trembles a little, but then starts giggling.

"What's so funny?" Jo asks, very serious.

"If you haven't noticed, this floor is greased, that makes your little "showpiece" as useless as a paperweight. Harold and Greg proved that." Nise states confidently.

"Greg lost." Jo replies.

"The only reason Duncan won is because he beat Greg senseless, with his fists, the sword was useless… will you fight dirty as well?" Nise asks.

After pulling out her Claymore with a violent tear, Jo growls out, "I won't need to!"

Nise pulls out her French arming sword with one hand and Xiphos Short blade with the other.

"Are you two gals finally ready to go?!" Kevin exclaims, absolutely beaming at the previous exchange.

"That's a moot point at this juncture, don't you think Kevin?" Nise asks.

"Good point Nise. DUEL ON GALS!" Kevin yells.

Jo (of course) charges at Nise first, and Nise slides out of the way. Jo would've slid off the platform completely if she hadn't stabbed her claymore into the ground.

"Okay, you got lucky." Jo says.

"Well then… let's see how long my luck can hold shall we?" Nise replies as she takes a running leap at Jo, who barely has time to raise her claymore to block, making a heavy ***CLANG*** noise as all their blades clashed.

Nise tries to push her off the ledge, but since Nise has no traction due to the grease. Jo overpowers the much smaller Nise, and knocks her to the ground, sending her sliding.

Jo tries to get the jump on her, but Nise rolls out of the way as Jo stabs the Claymore much deeper than she intended. Unable to jiggle it free before Nise was on her again, Jo was forced on the defensive just as Duncan had been before, blocking Nise's blows with her forearms.

Jo catches Nise at a moment where she's about to stab Jo's liver area with the Xiphos. From there, Jo side steps her, knees her hard in the stomach, and followed it up with a high-kick to Nise's chin. This sent Nise flying across the platform, her sliding just ending at the very edge of the platform. Jo finally jiggled the Claymore free, and runs at Nise with it, who had managed to slide away from the ledge.

"YIPE!" Nise screams as she barely dodges Jo's latest hack at her, slashing the ground instead.

Nise got to her feet, runs over to where her arming sword is, grabs it, and crosses them together to block Jo's latest attack. It was a very hard hacking slash that caused her to feel pain in her wrists… but she manages to hold on though.

"Why… ***pant*** won't you just give in already? There's no way you're ***pant*** gonna win this!" Jo says, panting, trying to break Nise's block with brute force.

"Huh, from where I'm standing, I'm doing pretty well for myself." Nise says, pushing back even though the Claymore's blade is only inches from her face.

Nise then pulls off a sneaky move, tripping Jo, and breaking her attack as she falls, along with knocking the Claymore out of her hands. Nise then stabs downward with both her blades, but Jo rolls out of the way this time.

Jo picks up the Claymore just in time to block Nise's latest fast and merciless attack while still on one knee. Jo blocks every single blow, and then pushes Nise away with one hand, sending her sliding yet again.

"You… you're… really damn annoying you know that?" Jo says.

"Oh Jo… that's entirely the point." Nise says mockingly. Jo growls in response, and charges at her full on, trying to hit her with a mighty slash, but Nise just slide out of the way.

"Jo, aren't you tired of doing the same thing over and over? Try something original for a change!" Nise exclaims, grinning under her mask.

"SHUT UP!" Jo yells in response as she blocks another series of quick strikes from Nise. Jo finally had finally reached her breaking point. It was now or nothing!

She knocks away the Arming Sword in Nise's right hand with her elbow, sending it flying, and then she thrusts the claymore deep into Nise's chest before she even has time to react.

"W-well, that was original." Nise says.

"And we finally have a winner after this very long duel… JO!" Kevin exclaims.

Jo pulls the sword out, and as Nise is about to walk away, Jo approaches her.

"What do you want Jo? You already got you're victory." Nise says.

Jo rips off Nise's mask, grabs her hair, and punches her hard in the nose, managing to break it with a small ***CRACK***! This knocks Nise to the ground crying in pain as it starts to bleed immediately. All three benches gasp in shock and horror as Nise falls.

"THAT is what I do to people who piss me off; I hope you remember that Baby Rattle!" Jo says as she looks down at the crying and bleeding Nise. She pulls off her mask, and starts laughing.

"HA-HA-HA-AH! Hey guys, I think the little crybaby baby rattle needs a Band-Aid for her boo-boo!" Jo exclaims mockingly, pointing downward at the fallen, still in agony Nise. All three benches boo her and begin throwing stuff at her. She walks away with a sadistic smile on her face that chill would Lucifer himself to the bone.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I'm sorry you guys had to see that. If I could disqualify Jo from this game; I would in a heartbeat… Nise didn't deserve that! But I can't, it goes against my damn contract… FUCK!" Kevin says in furious anger before stomping out of the Confessional enraged, screaming at the top of his lungs how unjust this whole situation is.

(Static)

"That put the fear of god back into the baby rattle; she'll NEVER tell me off or defy me ever again after this, guaranteed!" Jo exclaims, happy with herself and not a hint of a shame.

(Static)

In clear agony, Nise is holding a white cloth to her broken nose, red blood flowing into it.

"I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I knew there was no way I could ever beat Jo! But I truly believed what Dawn said, that I have some deep and untapped inner strength. I devoted all of my intellect and skills to beating her…and what did it get me?" Nise says while in a panic before slightly calming down enough to speak in a somewhat restrained manner…for a few seconds.

"It gave a loss! It gave me a broken nose! It gave me the worst experience of my life as I was lying their helpless like a crying baby!" She screamed with a whole new level of anguish. Remembering the event and how pathetic she felt after it made her start crying all over again.

"Dawn was wrong! **I WAS WRONG!** I'm nothing but a pathetic weakling who never should have even entered this game in the first place! I should have just stayed home and lived the rest of my life alone. Why not? It's perfectly clear that I can't get anything else for myself anyway! I'm destined to be nothing but a punching bag for anyone who's bigger or stronger than me!" Nise tearfully lamented, the small amount of self-esteem that had been built was fully shattered.

Unable to retain the small amount of composure that she had used to rant her emotional distress, Nise broke down fully into a seemingly endless series of tears, loud sobs, and stuttering words.

"Waaahhaaaa! H-How could J-Jo d-d-do that to me?" Nise wept into her hand, tears slipping through the fingers of the hand not holding her bandaged nose. "W-Why am I so pa-pat-pathetic! Boohoohooohoo!"

(Static)

Giavanna is sitting in the Confessional with her head lowered and her body quivering in rage.

"Despite me being picked on, I've never truly seen a physical example of bullying before. The image of Nise lying there and crying in pain as she's holding her broken nose was easily the single most horrible thing I've ever seen. I actually wanted to run up to her so I could hold her and tell her it was all going to be ok. But it's not all going to be ok. And do you know why?" Giavanna says, barely containing a volcanic amount of emotion behind her calm voice.

The full depths of that emotion were revealed when she shouted at the top of her lungs, "**JO!**"

"You've hurt Nise far more than just giving her a broken nose! Oh no, that wouldn't be good enough for you, would it!? You took someone who was just starting to come out of their shell and you not only made them withdraw but you sealed up the opening! Nise may never get the confidence to try again! You may have emotionally crippled her for life! Do you realize that!? Or importantly, do you even care!?" Gia exclaims in shock and anger before adding in a even louder voice with a shaking of one of her massive fists at the Confessional camera, "Jo, I have a message for you… you don't get to brutalize someone like Nise and expect to get away with it!"

Then the Tall Bombshell appears to calm down, though its really just replacing explosive wrath with the even more dangerous slow burning kind of wrath.

"I truly didn't mean to hurt poor Melody like that but you Jo…" Gia continues, cracking her knuckles, "I'm going to mean **everything** I do to you next round, and trust me, it'll be slow and painful! I have the knowledge to know **exactly** where to hit you to maximise your suffering! Jo, be afraid, be very afraid, because **I'M COMING FOR YOU!**"

(Static)

"I may not be the nicest guy around, but even I know that was way over the line." Duncan says, disgusted before adding condescendingly, "You see Jo, there's this thing called "restraint" that prevents you from looking completely psychotic all the damn time. It's how I've gotten so far in this contest so often."

With renewed disgust, Duncan continued with, "I'm out, you're on your own from now on you psychopathic bitch! I can see now that any alliance with you is only going to be harmful to my chances in this season instead of helping them. Good luck, cause' you'll certainly need it."

(Static)

"I told you guys she was a massive ice cold bitch to the core, I've met her type before. I'm tellin' ya guys, if she walks like a bitch, and quacks like a bitch… she must be a total bitch." Jay says.

(Static)

Ari is writing furiously on his/her notepad before showing to the camera with glaring blue eyes.

"_Ninjas may be well known for having no code of honour but that does not mean that I don't! Any respect I had for Jo evaporated when she sucker punched Nise after the fight! The strong are supposed to protect the vulnerable, not beat them to the ground! If we lose today, you have got my vote to go home you sadistic psycho!"_

(Static)

"Even I thought that was harsh…" Chef says, showing surprising disgust for the sadistic cook.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Okay guys… Nise is getting checked on at the hospital, but we gotta move on. Okay, next on the docket is Solita vs. Anne Maria. Please for God's sakes, I know you two absolutely despise each other… but don't turn this into a total bloodbath. I can already FEEL the ratings bleeding away from the last duel!" Kevin exclaims with concern.

"I ain't gonna make a promise I know I can't keep Kevin." Anne Maria says.

"Yeah, because you're just the epitome of honesty and integrity, Jersey trash" Solita says grinning.

"Do really wanna go?" Anne asks.

"Why not? You might actually learn something from it." Solita says smiling.

"Can you save it for the goddamn duel?! Jesus, grow up you two!" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I've been looking forward to this all day y'all, this is gonna be fun!" Anna Maria says eagerly before her face becomes really sad for a moment.

"I had to ***sniff* **wash away my poof to fit in this mask. It took over fifteen minutes to do fully. **I'D BETTER WIN TO MAKE IT WORTH IT!"**

(Static)

"Finally, the time has come to kick Anne's jersey slime ass back to the sewer it came from! I have every advantage! Anne Maria no longer has her titanium hair and I'm the one who greased the floor… I got this in the bag!" Solita says, eager for this fight that bodes very well for her.

(Static)

"I pray that Solita doesn't do anything too crazy to Anne Maria… just rough her up a little." Mary says, worried for her new friend.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #7: Anna Maria (Machete****)**** vs. Solita (****Khanda: double-edged long sword without a point at the end)! **

Solita and Anna Maria step up to the platform and Anna almost immediately slips on the grease and falls flat on her face, to the laughter of all, Solita of course laughing the loudest. Anne Maria gets up and wipes the grease off her mask as she exclaims growling, "You are SOOOO going down!"

"Bring it on!" Solita taunts her.

"Okay, you ready?" They both nod. "Then go at it girls!" Kevin announces.

Both Solita and Anne Maria quickly pull out their blades, and charge head-on into each other. Their blades colliding head-on with a loud, metallic ***CLANG*!** They try to muscle into the other with their blades but neither gain any ground.

"Oh give it up Reject! There's no way you're way you're winning this one!" Solita taunts with joy in her voice.

"You took away my poof… I'm gonna make it count for something!" Anne Maria exclaims angrily, and then kicks Solita in the thigh, breaking the hold.

"Aww, you still sore about your hair? Time to grow up sister." Solita says, to be immediately punched in the face by Anne Maria, forcing her to her knees.

"Just the way I like my fights… with the victim ON THEIR KNEES!" Anne says, spinning her Machete in her hand, before trying to stab it downward into Solita's chest. Solita meets it with her Khanda blade, meeting with a loud ***CLASH*!**

"Really unh… Anna, think I was gonna go down **that** easily, did you?" Solita says mockingly.

Then, in an unexpected move, she puts down her sword, and pushes her self forward in one quick motion, sliding right into home… and home in this case was Anne Maria's shins. The collision completely knocks the Jersey Shore Reject flat onto her face and the machete out of her hands.

Solita gets up, grabs her Khanda, and curb-stomps Anne Maria into the ground as she is struggling to get up.

"I-if you're done…just finish it" Anne says, crushed and defeated, speaking in a depressed monotone.

"With pleasure, hope you enjoy this as much as I'm going to!" Solita exclaims in a slick, borderline seductive tone. From there, the Orphan kicked Anna Maria hard in the ass, causing her to slide right off the platform yelping in pain, ending with a thundering ***CRASH*!**

Solita then takes off her Assassin mask, puts her Khanda over her shoulder, and says… "Well that was fun don't you think? I certainly thought so…Wah-Ha-ha-ah-ha-ha-HA!"

From there, Solita ended her statement with a dark, foreboding, and downright creepy laugh.

Kevin's eyes are as wide as saucers when he says, "Well, that was quite the duel wasn't it?", in a nervous and slightly disturbed tone as Solita walks off the platform with a twisted grin on her face that is as chilling as it is disturbing.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Ow…" Anna Maria says as she rubs her butt. "Ok ya'll, I lost the match, and I lost my poof… I have only one thing on my mind…"

Her face contorts with pure rage as she slams her left fist into her right palm as she screams in homicidal anger, "Solita, you fucked with the **WRONG** girl… prepare to be torn limb from bloody limb!"

(Static)

"Well, that turned out SOOO much better than I expected it too! In fact, let's count off the ways that this is such a good turn of events for me." She says grinning, clearly pleased with herself.

"The Jersey Shore Reject got her ass kicked, check. Her precious poof is gone… check. She is now starting a full-on breakdown that makes her ripe for elimination… CHECK AND CHECK! Really, the result couldn't have been any better!"

(Static)

"GREAAAAT! Another person on this team with questionable sanity! Let's go through the itinerary of insanity, shall we?" Noah says as he starts counting off fingers while naming others.

"Izzy's a capital C for Crazy. Owen, despite being my closest friend here, is… well Owen. Dawn has some kind of aura reading gimmick that I believe as much as Chris MacLean having a soul. Joseph has something clearly wrong with him. And Solita liked kicking Anne's spray-tanned ass just a tad bit too much. All I can say is that if it wasn't for Gia, I might go insane and she…"

Noah suddenly stops talking with a gasp at what he just said. "Um… that just slipped out. I didn't really **mean** anything by it heh-heh… I'll just let myself out now."

(Static)

"While I am pleased that Anne Maria was humbled by Solita, her laugh creeped me out. Plus, now she has a spray-tanned ticking time bomb on her hands… and it's aimed directly at her." Mary says worried.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Okay, now we move onto a duel which will hopefully restore some civility and sanity to these proceedings. It's the Codemeister vs. everyone's Favorite BFF… Katie!" Kevin exclaims as almost everybody cheers.

"**GO KATIE!"** DJ yells louder than anyone else, causing Katie to blush. Jay notices this, smiles slyly, and pulls Sadie out of the stands.

"Hey Sadie, so I've noticed that Katie really likes DJ…" Jay tries to say.

"OMG I know! She's got it so bad for him!" Sadie says with glee. Jay coughs indicating his annoyance at her interruption.

"Oh… sorry! Please continue Jay." Sadie says kind of embarrassed.

"Thank you… anyway… I know DJ is into her too. He hasn't said anything, but come on, both you and I can see it." Jay says.

"Oh I know!" Sadie exclaims.

"So I was thinking…" Jay starts to say before…

"That you want to play matchmaker?" Sadie asks smiling.

"Exactly. Here's the plan… you my dear Sadie will work on Katie…" Jay says grinning with a wink, causing Sadie to blush, "…while I work my magic on DJ. Together we'll have those two doting lovebirds together in no time!"

"Oh My God, I'M SO EXCITED WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS JAY! EEEEEE!" Sadie exclaims with excited ecstasy while Jay winces in pain and covers his ears.

"Did I hurt you?!" Sadie exclaims in worry.

"Urg… uh no, I'm just really sensitive to loud noise at close range." Jay says, staying cool in spite of his annoyance.

"Oh… sorry, I'm so embarrassed." Sadie says.

"No problem… everyone makes mistakes right? Word to the wise though… cut back on the high-pitched "eeeeing" around me, ok?" Jay says in a warm, yet slightly stern and annoyed tone.

"Oh, okay, I can do that." Sadie replies with a smile.

"Great, now come on **sweetheart**, and let's get back to the action!" Jay exclaims, running off.

Sadie can barely contain her excitement as she runs back with him. Jay just grins slyly at her reaction.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Um… I really don't have much to say. I have no idea whatsoever why Katie and I were chosen to fight each other… doesn't mean I can't pull it off…" Cody says. "BFFFL #1? Too Easy!"

(Static)

"Cody may be tough, but as he'll find out…" Katie says as she rips out her dual KA-BARs, with a satisfied half-smirk. "… I'm tougher, plus I **really** want to impress DJ today! So sorry Cody, but you're sorry butt is gonna be kicked two ways from Sunday!"

(Static)

"I can believe Jay called me his sweetheart… EEEEEE! He really likes me… ME! I can't believe it!" Sadie screams with joy while smiling.

"I'm SOOO looking forward to helping him set up Katie and DJ! I found the right one for me…sigh…" She says in a dreamy tone staring at the ceiling.

(Static)

Jay is laughing his ass off, barely keeping himself together enough to speak clearly. Finally finishing and wiping a tear from his eye, the Puppermaster remarks, "I CANNOT believe Sadie fell for it and on my first try too! What a sucker!"

He then bursts out laughing for a bit longer before he once again regains control of himself.

"But seriously, that girl was silly putty in my hands as soon as I called her sweetheart. I still can't believe it worked; she must be desperate. It's not all that shocking I guess. Despite her tendency to annoy me…A LOT… she will be quite useful because Katie will make DJ happy. And a happy and content DJ is a badass DJ with massive backbone, and I'll need that in spades in my alliance. I got this in the bag!" Jay says smiling confidently as he's positively beaming.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #8: Cody (****Falcata: slightly-curved iron sword) vs. Katie (KA-BAR Combat knives: obvious really)! **

Jay and Sadie sneak back to their seats quickly, no one even noticing they were gone. Cody and Katie step up onto the platform.

"You two ready to go at it?" Kevin asks. They both nod. "Then fight like you've never fought before!"

At that, Cody pulls out the Falcata on his back and charges straight at Katie. She waits until the very last moment, then ducks, sending Cody head over heels sliding across the platform. He would have slid off completely if not for stabbing his Falcata deep into the platform, preventing him from sliding off completely.

Unlike either Duncan or Jo, the length or weight of his weapon is a non-issue, allowing him to grab his weapon with ease, and run straight for Katie. Deciding to take a running leap at her, he brings his sword down hard on her. She can't bring her forearms up in time and thus she is sent stumbling to the ground.

Cody tries to get the jump on her, but Katie kicks him right in the face, cracking his right lens on his mask. He stumbles while she jumps to her feet. From there, Katie tried to slash and stab Cody multiple times, only for him to block her each time. Cody, having regained his bearings, trips Katie and tries to stab her on the ground, only for her to roll out of the way again. She then stumbles to her feet.

Both of the relatively meek fighters are panting heavily, tired from this exhausting fight.

"Impressive… you're actually making me break a sweat." Cody says with his gap-toothed grin.

"So ***pant*** are you… you been working out Cody?" Katie asks teasingly.

This get a laugh or two out of the Tech Geek as he responds, "Yeah, I have actually. I thought it was best to be as well prepared as I could for another season after what happened last time."

"That makes ***pant* **sense. Good planning Cody." Katie complimented.

"I'm glad you agree. But enough talk. Let's get back to kicking each other's ass!" Cody exclaims as he runs right at her.

"I couldn't agree more!" Katie says as she blocks his blows.

The thinner and darker skinned of the pink twins then elbowed Cody in the nose. This stunned him as she stabs him over and over again before finishing him off with a hard kick to the chest that sends the Tech Geek flying off the platform.

"And Katie wins twice over!" Kevin exclaims smiling.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"That was a bit humiliating. As surprising as it is, I got my ass kicked by Katie of all people." Cody says kind of down.

But then a smile appears on his face as he says, "I LOVE THE WOMEN ON THIS SHOW!"

(Static)

"Well, that was something… wow…" DJ says, with his eyes wide and his mouth practically drooling. He leans right off his chair, and both the chair and DJ crash onto the ground.

"S-sooo Hot man!" DJ says happily with him still on the floor of the Confessional.

(Static)

"I hope I impressed DJ! And you know what? Despite that being exhausting it was a hell of a lot of fun! I can't wait for round two!" Katie says excited.

(Static)

"As satisfying as it was to see Cody get beat up, the fact that it was Katie of all people who did it makes me feel a bit emasculated." Duncan says.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Okay guys… now we move onto the really interesting…" Kevin tries to say before he gets a text from the producers.

"Really, a commercial break now?!" Kevin exclaims incredulously. "Okay guys, we gotta go to commercial thanks to the higher-ups. But we'll be back with more ass-kicking goodness… and of course more Drama after the break on **Total Drama… What is Real?**!"

* * *

**Side Notes:**

**First, I must thank my good buddy Rufus T. Serenity for his awesome edits, and great ideas, thanks my man! Plus, check out his story "Mad Mikey" if you're interested… it's a hell of a page turner…trust me ;) And too CRRGL for the baseline story… couldn't have gotten this off the ground without you dude!**

**(1) The French Arming Sword was the mainstay of the French during the 15****th**** century. It was most famously wielded by Joan of Arc during the Siege of Orleans. A thin, double edged blade, was great for close range stabbing, especially when you grabbed the blade itself to give it more stopping power (don't worry… they used special gloves to prevent themselves from slicing their hands and fingers open)**

**(2) I may have been condescending with my first description of the cutlass first time around, and I'm sorry if I offended anyone. Here's hopefully the better breakdown… the Cutlass was a long, curved single-edged sword that was used by practically everyone in the 17****th**** century, but was most commonly used by the French, British, and Spanish Navies, and pirates in both the Caribbean and Mediterranean.**

**(3)"Infidel" is a term meaning "****one who has no religious beliefs, or who doubts or rejects the central tenets of the particular religion." In modern times, ****the term is most often identified with Islamist terror and extremist groups throughout the world to describe ANYONE who doesn't follow the word of Allah and the Quran, the Islamic Bible. But its important to note that the term was first used by Christians and similar sentiments have been echoed in with different phrasings in all of the world's major religions. And the same is true of the acts of violence that often accompany this vile word in the historical record. **

**(4) Charlotte is actually an OC from Total Drama Do-Over AND Total Drama Action Re-Do created by another good buddy of mine… coGreen20 on DeviantArt. Both of these are actually on Deviantart, not fanfiction, sorry. But if you put in the effort to find these stories, they're both well written, and absolutely Epic! So I recommend you guys to have a peak at TD Do-Over and TDA Re-Do… you won't be disappointed!**

**There has been repeated misrepresenting of who owns what characters in this story. Total Drama and all its characters are property of Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. Jay, Kevin Rawlings, Damian, and Greg belong to me, Carlyle, Erebus, Giavanna, Mathieu, and Nanon are property of Rufus, all the others belong to CRRGGL. When in doubt, please check either this end of chapter declaimer or the one for the first chapter to figure out who owns which OCs. **


	6. What is Real? Episode 3, part 3

**Total Drama What is Real? Episode 3: At a blade's Edge (Part 3)**

* * *

"Okay guys… we are back! And now we come into the true prize fights of the first round!" Kevin says smiling.

Many of the previous fighters; in particular Duncan, Greg, and Jo, glare at the new host.

"What? Most of the first half went by fast, and only three duels were worth mentioning, two of which I will never speak of AGAIN!" Kevin yells, trying to cancel out the bad memories. "AHEM! Where was I? Oh right! Onto the second half of the first round… and for our ninth fight of the day. We have the Polygons' Staci, who hopes to make her grandfather proud…" Staci tears up a little at the mention of her Grandpa, "taking on the Cyborgs' unpredictable masked maniac… Chris! Now **this** should be an interesting fight!" Kevin exclaims smiling.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I cannot wait to see Jo choke on her words! I WILL NOT BE ELIMINATED FIRST THIS YEAR!" Staci yells with grim determination. Her voice then turns to one of glee as she exclaims, "Oh my gosh, this is just too perfect! Not only is the first challenge something that I, like, so totally rock at, I'm going up against one of the wildest cards I've ever seen. But you know what I've learned over the years?"

At this Staci's body goes stock-still before she speaks once more, "No one can be good at everything. And judging by the lack of consideration Chris put into choosing his sword, I'm sure to turn a few heads by coming out on top today!"

(Static)

"I couldn't give less of a shit that that lunatic is on my team… I wanna see his ass KICKED! I HATE CRAZIES!" Jay screams enraged, then punches the camera so hard he cracks the lens. "Ow… not the smartest thing to do in the world." He adds weakly, shaking his hand in pain.

(Static)

"Oh, I sincerely hope that strange boy doesn't hurt poor Staci." Dawn says worriedly, eyes cast to the floor. "Her aura may have been absolutely beaming when she saw that rapier, but Chris..." Here Dawn pauses and looks directly into the camera with a look of absolute horror on her face, "**I can't even** **SEE his aura**. I wasn't sure at first as I thought his might just be changing so rapidly like Izzy's does, but while he was watching the fights from earlier-"

Dawn shivers as she recalls his unflinching countence, "I've never encountered a creature I couldn't read before, much less a human. I don't like to wish ill will on people, but I truly hope he does something to get voted off early. I don't do well with things I don't understand..." Dawn trailed off, looking off camera again with an even more troubled look adorning her facial features.

(Static)

The Enigma is seen sitting in the exact middle of the camera's focus, having taken up the classic "Thinker" posture. Even stranger than anything he's done up to this point, his face is conspicuously lacking a mask, revealing to the viewer a blank layer of green cloth through which small lips can be seen moving fluidly.

"So… time to see if the weaver of tall tales has finally told a sliver of truth, hmm?" Chris says inquisitively. "So far everyone's been behaving as I expected they would." He started slowly, meticulously enunciating each word with precision and voice seemingly devoid of any emotion at all. It was as if he were as cold and calculating as a machine.

"That is, of course, with the exception of Staci. She was positively oozing confidence as she wielded that rapier. However, this happens to be a rather fortuitous development, as it will make my plan all the more believable. Besides, with a skilled opponent to go against…" here Chris reaches behind himself and pulls his standard Comedy mask out of seemingly nowhere and dons it quickly, "…there's no reason I can't make this fun at the same time!" Chris begins to giggle slightly, but it turns into a chuckle that just becomes full-blown manic laughter as-

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #9: Chris (****Norman Broadsword: heavy straight, double-edged sword)**** vs. Staci (****French Rapier****)!**

Finally, Staci and Chris step onto the platform. Chris, ironically, looks even more comical with the ninja assassin mask awkwardly placed over the Comedy mask. "Are you two ready to go at it?!" Kevin asks with energetic enthusiasm. They both nod. "Then have at it!" He exclaims happily.

Staci pulls her rapier out of her scabbard. "En garde, Chris!" Staci says with a placid calm as she slowly walks towards him.

With a crazed battle cry, Chris rips his broadsword off his back, runs full speed at her, and takes a mighty swing… only for her to side step him, and punch him in the back, causing his momentum to work against him, and falls flat on his face in one motion so fast it was as if Chris were trying to hit a ghost.

Staci tries to finish him off with a quick stab to the liver, but Chris turns around, and rips the rapier out of her hands. He then jumps up and tries to hit her with a wild swing, but she leaps out of the way. She grabs her rapier off the ground just in time to block a wild swing by Chris as the swords collide with a hard ***CLANG***!

"You'll have to do better than that if you want to beat me, lass." Chris says in a faux-Irish tone as he punches her in the stomach, knocking her off-balance, and she slips and falls on the grease.

"Just watch me!" Staci replies, as she jumps up, and makes a series of quick movements jumping, pirouetting, and slashing at him all at once, trying to confuse and daze the man on the defensive. He tries his best to block her at every turn, but after a few minutes, she breaks through his blocks, and knocks the broadsword out of his hands.

He responds by punching her hard in the face, knocking her back as he runs for his broad sword. But as he picks up his sword and turns around, Staci is there, and she slashes his sword right out of his hand, slicing through the protective gloves, and slicing into his knuckles on his right hand, causing him to drop his broadsword.

She then responds by kicking him to the ground, picking up his sword with her left hand, stomping her foot into the centre of his chest, leaving him breathless. Staci then slices his throat in one lightning quick scissor-like motion with both swords before dropping them quickly!

Staci then rips off her mask as she screams, "Well… ***pant*** now that you've all seen it for your own eyes… ***pant*** DO YOU BELIEVE ME NOW?!" Her response is only met with shocked silence, then raucous applause from everyone.

"Holy crap, that was the most BADASS ending to a fight we've seen so far! Great job Staci! You have earned your spot in the second round!" Kevin exclaims with applause.

"What else do you expect from the granddaughter of a two-time world champion?" Staci exclaims with pride as she puts the rapier back in her scabbard, then walks off the platform in slow motion.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I proved my point pretty well, don't you think? Now I actually have value to my team, there's no chance I will be eliminated first. Ha! 'If you're going to defeat someone in combat, do so with style and grace', as my grandpa always used to tell me. I hope I did you proud, gramps." Staci says with a proud smile.

(Static)

Jo is sitting wide-eyed and the normally dominant smirk is nowhere to be found, **"FUCK!"**

(Static)

"Sure I didn't win… but by god was it still ever fun! Too bad it's over… I wanted to play some more in round two!" Chris exclaims in an abnormally cheery voice, considering he lost. "But still, that was a very impressive way to lose. Slicing my throat with my own blade, that's a dream death! Thank you for the courtesy, my fair Staci." He says, bowing in a gentlemanly manner.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get my hand patched up before I bleed all over the place… she cut me good, and it hurts, but damn it just feels so, so RIGHT you know? He-he, Ha-Ha-ah… HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Chris says with his manic insanity back on full display.

(Static)

Dawn is simply staring into the confessional's camera with the fullest confusion possible.

"I can't explain how or why, but I think Chris did that on purpose. I think he let Staci win. But it doesn't make any sense; so much in his aura says that he didn't. And yet other parts of it did. Looking into his aura is like staring into a black hole, this massive invisible yet powerful force. I'm actually a little frightened by it."

(Static)

"Man, I'm glad Mr. Looney Tunes lost, but Jesus is that guy ever fucking crazy!" Jay says with a frightened shudder. "First he licked all the blood off his knuckles, saying it was "mighty tasty" and that he loved the taste of his own blood in his mouth because it was, and I quote, "so bloody". And then insisted on having his knuckles stitched up with no anesthetic, and he was laughing his ass off the whole time, man…"

Jay shudders again as he states "That guy, if he's even human, which I doubt at this point, is nuttier than an entirefucking **peanut butter processing plant!**"

He suddenly slams his fist on the table out of nowhere as he adds with venom, "I wish Crazy thing wasn't on my team so I could've beaten him!"

But just as suddenly he develops a gleeful smile as he adds, "But damn was Staci ever badass… her duel just set the standard for every duel afterwards, and I WILL live up to that standard!"

(Static)

"Holy shit! She wasn't lying! She utterly handed Chris his ass back to him on a silver platter in the end!" Duncan says utterly shocked. He shakes himself out of it as he sighed worriedly, saying, "Why do I get the feeling she is gonna cause me a lot of headaches in the coming weeks? I mean, what other hard to believe not-bullshit is she hiding?!"

(Static)

Ari writes furiously on her/his notepad, and then shows it to the camera.

"_I couldn't believe it as Chris lay defeated on the ground, and I'm impressed; "killing" a guy with his own blade, how humiliating… and yet somehow oddly stylish too. I have another worthy warrior on this team to contend with, this day just keeps getting better and better!"_

(Static)

"I think I have found the most worthy foe to face in the second round. And yes, I'm too shocked for rhyming." Erebus says in awe, for the first time ever not speaking in rhyme.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Next we have the Avatar's lovable Christian girl, Mary, taking on the resident movie fanatic… Carlyle of the Cyborgs!" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I can't believe I get to use the blade that was used by holy knights in the crusades!" Mary exclaims in wonder. Her tone changes as she says, "Not that I'm particularly proud of that period of history. Christians massacred Muslims on their own streets… and now we're paying for it. Violence is like dropping a pebble into a pond, the ripples extend far beyond its point of origin. Because of what happened then, both Joseph's brother and my mother were taken away from us." Mary, who was already starting to tear up, continues even more as she says sadly, "We're all brothers and sisters under God, why do we keep on killing each other?"

(Static)

"Why do I feel like the first Stormtrooper through the blast doors in _Star Wars_?" Carlyle says as he's shifting nervously. Then he steels himself as he says, "I can't let the team down though. I have to fight… win or lose!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #10: Carlyle (****Bowie Knife:****) vs. Mary (****Cruciform: double edged sword with a crucifix shaped hilt)****! **

Mary and Carlyle step onto the platform. "Are you ready to go?" Kevin asks. They both reluctantly nod. "Then go at it!"

Carlyle charges at Mary with all of his fury and power… which she responds to by kicking him in the stomach, sending him to the other end of the platform, knocking his Bowie out of his hand.

Carlyle grabs the Bowie and scrambles to his feet, and clumsily tries a high kick to her face, but his leg can't reach that far. Mary grabs his ankle and pulls his feet out from under him. Mary then plunges the Cruciform into his chest, ending the match.

"And Mary Wins!" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I lost, and I lost bad… if we lose, I could be the first one home!" Carlyle exclaims with worry.

(Static)

"I won, but I'm not exactly ecstatic about it. I really don't like fighting." Mary says.

(Static)

"Well, Carlyle's completely useless. We'd better have some movie-based challenges coming… that might be his only saving grace." Jay says with distain.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And now we move onto potentially the most hilarious match-up of the night… the lovable oaf Owen vs. the local Soul sistah… Leshawna!" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Sorry Owen, but you're a clumsy cream puff." Leshawna says with some measure of regret. "There is no way I'm losing this, ya'll!"

(Static)

"I don't know if I can handle Leshawna… she's a tough nut to crack…" Owen says, expressing some doubt. But then he cheers up as he says "But then again, heh-heh-ha, so am I. I mean just look at me, I'm built like a tank!" Owen exclaims as he flexes his right arm for the camera while adding boisterously, "Leshawna… I say… BRING IT ON!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match # 11: Leshawna (****Naginata Pole Sword: bladed staff that's lighter, longer, and sharper than the bulkier blade staffs) ****vs. Owen (****Glaive: heavy single edge bladed staff)! **

Both Owen and Leshawna step onto the platform and Leshawna immediately slips and falls flat on her face. Duncan laughs in response. Leshawna growls in response to his laughter as Owen helps her up.

"Well, this isn't a great start." Leshawna says bitterly.

"No, it isn't." Owen remarks to her.

"Well, are you two ready to go?" Kevin says, barely stifling back a chuckle.

Leshawna glares at him, and then pulls out the Naginata. "I'm sorry Owen, I love ya like a brother, but you are goin' down today!" Leshawna exclaims.

Owen pulls the Glaive off his back, spins it in his hands, and then points in her direction as he says, "That's kinda funny… I was gonna say something along those lines. By the way, Izzy taught me that. My god is she so amazing!" Owen says with pride, both for himself and Izzy.

"OKAY guys… enough of the banter. Bring out the blades!" Kevin exclaims impatiently.

They start by directly charging at each other, but they run too fast and start to slide uncontrollably at breakneck speed, colliding into each other with enough force to make a cringe-worthy ***CRUNCH*** noise!

Both are sent flying to opposite ends of the end of the platform and landing with a thundering ***THUD*** on both ends!

"And so… it's too close to call… it's a TIE! And therefore **neither advances!**" Kevin says.

Britney objects loudly to this with, "HEY! You didn't spell out that rule before!"

Kevin rubs the back of his neck nervously, "Oh yeah… I guess I did forget to mention it at the start, didn't I? Heh-heh… ah my bad, sorry guys. I'm new to this hosting thing." Kevin says.

Britney couldn't help but glare at her older brother. While she did so, a few people ran to help up the two chunkier contestants. Leshawna's most eager helper was Harold while Owen's was Izzy.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I know you're new to being a host and all Kevin, but you can't forget to say rules like that!" Britney exclaims.

(Static)

"Ow… Oooh that did NOT feel good ya'll, that hurt. I… think I'm gonna lay down for awhile." Leshawna says dizzily before she wanders out unsteadily.

(Static)

"Ah… mommy, you brought me breakfast? Awesome…" Owen says dumbly before he falls out of his chair unconscious. A couple interns struggle to drag him away as it turns to static.

"Jesus man… how can someone be so damn heavy?!" One complains.

"Shut up and quit whining Zach!" The other one exclaims angrily.

"No, you shut up Colin!"**(1)** And they continue arguing even as they drag Owen out of the room.

(Static)

"Okay, that was like a train wreck, a freaking human train wreck…" Duncan says while being unable to help but chuckle a little. "But seeing those two crash then smash away from each other was one of the funniest things I've ever seen! Ha-ha-ha-ha-"

Duncan was so busy laughing that he failed to notice that the Confessional door was opened. Out of nowhere, Duncan was cut off by a ***CLANK*** to the head from a pair of spinning nunchuks. Peaking out, the attacker, Harold, winks to the camera as Duncan falls to the floor.

(Static)

"That creep Duncan should be glad that we are on the same team because if I could fight after that, you bet I would! Nobody insults the lovely Leshawna like that!" Harold exclaims in anger.

After that though, his voice became much more normal, "But he is right about one thing. That looked painful! Gosh…I know I wouldn't want to smash into Owen, beware the blubber. **BEWARE THE BLUBBER FRIENDS!"**

(Static)

Izzy is seen but her expression is oddly enough one of genuine sorrow instead of insane joy.

"Izzy was truly heartbroken to see Owen get hurt like that, especially after he gave me that shout-out. Its true that I did teach Owen a little bit about weapons. After all, Izzy comes from a long line of Scottish warriors, going all the way back to the 'Battle of Endless Nightmares'…"

Suddenly, Izzy's trademark manic wackiness returns in full as she says with a truly massive grin, "Now that was a battle for the ages my friends! There they were, the Izzy clan, ready to the last man. The enemy, their identity escapes me at the moment, were charging at them like hell-fire. It was then, that my ancestor said the words that would alter the course of human history itself, 'WE SHALL NEVER WEAR PANTS!' No, they wouldn't submit to their tacky trousers!"

Now forgetting about Owen and focusing on this very questionable historical event, Izzy added, "Then his brother, also my ancestor, had a flash of brilliance that secured them the battle. When they could see the whites of their eyes and the pimples on their faces, they lifted up their kilts! Within seconds, all of the enemy solders were laying on the ground crying in pain and begging to have their eyes gouged out. The sight of their junks was permanently burned into their minds. It was a truly glorious day forever known by the enemy as the 'Battle of Endless Nightmares'!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"AHEM! Anyways… onto the Next fight we have the Cyborgs one-armed wonder, Nanon, duking it out with the Avatars' Damian!" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Let's see… what prerequisites do I bring to this fight? Hmm… I'm the Captain of my hockey, basketball, track, **and** wrestling teams back home. I have at least 8 inches and 90 pounds on Nanon. I have a weapon with the longer reach… and oh yeah… I have two arms." Damian states arrogantly before realizing how messed up that was and saying, "Oh, uh, no offense, Nanon."

Having passed over that, Damian's voice returns to its original confident finality as he says, "Now, what advantage does Nanon have on me? As far as I can see, none. Sure that thing with her feet was impressive, but the more I've thought about it that doesn't have much bearing here. Its not like drinking tea with your feet, while awesome, is instantly related to fighting with swords. So, I retract my earlier statement and will say here for the record that she's going down hard!"

(Static)

"No doubt Damian thinks he has this match-up in the bag just because I lack a limb." Nanon says, almost disappointed before saying as almost a yell, "But as he'll soon find out, he's wrong, DEAD WRONG!"

Lightly chuckling to herself she finishes with, "He'll never see me coming."

(Static)

"Let the freak lose, let the freak lose, PLEASE ALMIGHT GOD IN HEAVEN LET THE FREAK LOSE VERY BADLY!" Jay exclaims desperately eyes clasped, hands in prayer.

(Static)

Giavanna is in the Confessional with her lowered head showing eyes full of uncertainty.

"I honestly have no idea for whom I should cheer in this fight. On one hand I want Nanon to win to shut her haters up and I think we could become very close friends, but on the other…I kinda want Damian to win because he seems like a stand-up guy and a friend and he's kinda cute and…" Giavanna says before suddenly stopping herself with a look of total shock on her face.

"And… an-and…wh-what d-did I just say?" Gia covers her mouth, eyes agape in shock, blushes slightly, looks around, and then walks away out of the confessional without another word.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #12: Damian (****Viking Long Sword: Heavy, razor sharp double-edged sword) ****vs. Nanon (****Recon-1 Combat Knife)! **

Damian and Nanon step onto the platform, Damian pulls out his Long Sword, and rests it on his shoulder like one would a baseball bat.

"Hey Nanon, why don't you just spare yourself the humiliation now, and just drop out? This is, of course, a one-time only offer." Damian says, confidence flowing from his voice and relaxed posture.

"Hmm… let me think it think it over… ah, how about a resounding **NO** on that front!" Nanon exclaims.

"Oh come on… be reasonable! We both know how this is gonna go down, so why don't you just leave now with your dignity intact? I don't want to feel guilty for beating you." Damian says.

"What, you afraid to take on a girl half your size with just one arm, with this tiny, tiny knife?" Nanon responds in a light, taunting tone.

"Hey, if you wanna go, I'm game, just letting you know I'm not gonna go easy on you." Damian says.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. And I'll try not to feel too guilty when I beat you Damian. Bring it on, and lets just see if your reflexes are as fast as your jaw." Nanon responds.

"Alright, it's your funeral Nanon…" Damian says, dropping into a combat stance and adding confidently, "Prepare to get schooled!"

"Oh poor, poor dumb arrogant Damian…" She says, throwing her combat knife up in the air, catches it, and then enters her own stance. "You're the one who's gonna be schooled this day!" Nanon exclaims.

"Heh, I'd like to see that." Damian responds right back.

"Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." Nanon responds.

"HEY! Guys… as fun as this back and forth between you two is… I think I wanna see the duel more… so can we get on with it?" Kevin asks with a combination of eager anticipation and annoyed impatience.

"Do you even have to ask?" Damian responds.

"Nope, just checking… GAME ON!" Kevin yells eagerly.

Damian starts by charging right at Nanon. She responds by side stepping his charge, and kicking him hard in the side with one of her powerful legs, knocking both him to the floor hard and his blade away from him. She tries to curb stomp him while he's down, but he rolls out of the way. He quickly picks up his long sword, and tries to stab her in the chest, but she jumps away, and then kicks him hard in the face!

This knocks him to the ground again, stunned by a kick with such punch. She moves in for the kill, but he comes out of it just as she is about to get the jump on him. He trips her feet out from under her, causing her to fall onto her back. Damian jumps to his feet, and grabs both her legs, and has her in a crushing grip by both thighs, upside down, head to the floor.

"Goodnight Nanon and GOODBYE!" Damian exclaims as he jumps into the air, and traps her in a crushing double suplex with a hard ***SLAM*** as they hit the floor! Nanon crumples flat on her face as he releases her limp body.

Damian walks away, and raises his hands in victory. "That's how it's done!" Damian exclaims happily… but Nanon actually wakes up and crawls over to her knife, and slowly gets up.

"Hey Damian, I wouldn't celebrate too quick dude, look behind you." Kevin says grinning.

Damian looks behind him to see Nanon standing, a little hunched over, clutching her side in pain.

"Wha-what?! No way, are you-ARE YOU JOKING?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!?" Damian exclaims in shock.

"No Damian, there's no kidding or jokes going on here. I'm still standing despite that attack. If you wanna take me down… I guess you'll just have to work harder!" Nanon says, mocking him.

"ARRRRRGGGHHHH!" Damian yells in frustration as he charges at her full speed, and leaps high into the air intending to stab her square in the chest…hard!

Unfortunately for him, he's only met with Nanon's foot slamming into his chin in a devastating high kick that sends him into a full 180 spin in the air, landing head-first in a cringe-inducing ***SMASH*!**

Despite the hit, Damian rises to his feet, only to take a hard punch to his face…stunning him.

Nanon then stomp-kicks him hard in the left knee, causing him to kneel as he screams out in pain. The One-Armed Girl knees him one final time in the face. This caused him to fall right into the Recon Knife in her hand that was waiting for him. He felt the blade as his chest fell onto it.

As Damian fell to his side, he was dazed and defeated. Despite being incapacitated by the pain, he weakly asked, "H-how? You shouldn't be conscious right now… I can't believe this…"

"Believe it Damian, because I'm the real deal right here!" Nanon says as she raises her fist, clenched around the combat knife in victory, despite still being hunched over in pain.

"HOLY CRAP! And Nanon wins in a come-from behind, ass-kicking victory! Let's give them both a hand for this **epic** fight shall we? BRAVO, BRAVO!" Kevin says, as he stands up and starts clapping as Damian struggles to his feet.

Everyone starts applauding and cheering for the both of them, some more enthusiastic than others. Jay walks into the platform to help his fallen friend limp away slowly with his teeth gritting in anger. Nanon walks away with a smile despite feeling her side in pain.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Ugh… I got a massive headache, my neck is killing me, and my face feels like it got smashed into jelly." Damian says, clutching his head. "But all this damn pain is NOTHING compared to how I feel about this loss… I still don't get it! I've knocked out people three damn times her size with less effort! How in the hell did I lose?!" Damian yells in frustration before sighing in defeat and saying deflated, "Not even a shower in acid could wash away all the shame I feel right now. I bet my team is laughing at me back home."

Then his voice becomes more forceful and his face sports a determined grin as he says, "Still, I'm better prepared for when I face her again; I'll get you next time Nanon… IT'S ON GIRL!"

(Static)

"Well, I set out to do what I wanted to do… I let everyone know that I'm a force not to be trifled with and… and… woo… ah… that suplex took A LOT out of me." Nanon comments all spaced.

"Honestly, I shouldn't have woken up; I even landed at an odd angle, Damian could've broken my neck, and **boy does it feel like it**!" Nanon exclaims while rubbing her neck in clear pain.

"This is the worst headache I've EVER had… but I say… if I can handle Mister Suplex, I can handle anything the second round can throw at me…BRING IT!" Nanon yells with an energised enthusiasm, then immediately clutches her head.

"Oh man… shouldn't have done that… I need to rest, regain some strength before I even **think **of taking anyone else." Nanon says again dazed in pain. She walks out of the confessional unbalanced and unsteady.

(Static)

"I so wanted Ms. Freakazoid to lose, but NOOOO…" Jay exclaims disgusted. "She just HAD to win and prove her "worth" to this team, thus ensuring she'll be sticking around for a very long time and do some more freaky shit that creeps me out… JUST FUCKING WONDERFUL!" Jay rants angrily. He stomps out of the confessional still ranting incoherently.

(Static)

"Though having one less arm than most, Nanon displayed strength and resolve truly wondrous. She may be one of the few humans who could fight their way out of the fires of Tartarus!" Erebus says with clear respect for Nanon.

(Static)

"I'm happy that Nanon won, but honestly, that entire match was overkill. I know that both Damian and Nanon felt like they had to prove their worth, what with being related to Heather and having only one arm, but was giving her a double suplex or smashing his face multiple times really necessary?" Giavanna says with her emerald eyes showing great concern for them both.

"This competition isn't worth concussions, which both of you probably now have, just dumb all around… sigh." Gia says, head down, fingers rubbing her forehead. "At least Noah's not this impulsive… at least, I hope so."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And now into the end stretch of the first round… next we have the Polygons' resident amateur magician Mathieu taking on the only other contestant in TD history to sport the Mohawk, and the only one to actually look good doing it… the one, the only Jay!" Kevin exclaims, grinning right at Duncan as he glares at him.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"**Daaaammmnnn!** That was a wicked-ass burn on Kevin's part…suck on **THAT** Duncan!" Greg says with an evil grin on his face.

(Static)

"I **REALLY **like Kevin as Host!" Cody says with a smile that stretched across his entire face.

(Static)

"I'm sure someone else has already said this but seeing Duncan's glare at Kevin was priceless!" Harold says, his smile being somehow even bigger than either Greg's or Cody's.

(Static)

"I do look good don't I?" Jay asks himself rhetorically as he admires himself in the confessionals' mirror before adding boisterously, "You heard it here from the host first… I sport the most bitchin' Hawk in Total Drama history!"

He then returns his attention back to the camera. "Now where was I? Oh right… I FINALLY GET TO KICK SOME MAGIC BOY ASS! Matt won't know what the hell hit him!" Jay says, his voice oozing with anticipation, excitement, and bloodlust.

(Static)

"Pfff… says the guy who spent the last eight months in rehab. I HAVE THE BEST HAWK HERE! AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT, OR ELSE!" Duncan yells, clearly having a fragile ego moment.

(Static)

"Jay at this point is a complete unknown, but I wanna put on a show, just for kicks." Mathieu says smiling. "You're gonna go up in a cloud of smoke Jay!"

The Magician then bends back his wrist, spewing out a cloud of green smoke all around him.

"Cough Cough, Ack, Cack!" Matt coughs as he shoos the smoke out of the confessional. "Well, if it works so well on me, it should work even better on him!" Mathieu says with confidence.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #13: Jay (Kukri****:****extremely sharp curved blades)**** vs. Mathieu (****Cavalry Saber)!**

Jay and Matt step onto the platform. While doing so, Jay was singing the chorus to Three Days Grace's "The Good Life" all the way there. "_All I want is a little of the good life, all I need is to have a good time…" __**(2)**_

"Hey, if you're done Jay, you wanna duel or what?" Matt asks.

"Oh, right… all I was doing was putting on a good show for the audience, that's what you want. Right Matty boy?" Jay asks in a loud, boisterous tone, as if he's speaking to everyone.

"Huh, I guess great minds think alike huh?" Matt replies, a little irritated.

"Indeed they do Magic Boy, so let's electrify the audience and BLOW THEIR MINDS! IS EVERYONE READY FOR THE BEST DAMN DUEL YOU'VE EVER SEEN?!" Jay asks to everyone. All three benches roar their approval, with the exceptions of Dawn and Noah, who both look at him like he's insane.

"Well, you guys sure know how to play to the crowd… ready to give em' what they so clearly want?" Kevin asks grinning.

"Yeah, YES I DO! HELL YES!" Matt exclaims as he pulls his Calvary sabre, pumped up on excitement and anger at Jay stealing his thunder.

"Okay then, LET'S ROCK GUYS!" Kevin exclaims very excited at this fight.

Jay rips off the Kukri daggers from his back and runs at Matt, only to be met by a face full of choking green smoke with a raise of Matt's palm. As he's coughing and gasping for air, Matt punches him in the face, knocking the Puppetmaster to the ground, leaving him vulnerable.

Matt stabs his sabre downward, towards his chest but misses his intended target and only leaves a small nick on his shoulder. With Matt's blade now stuck, Jay stands up with a smile showing.

"***Cough*** Come on Magic Boy. Can I honestly take you even when I'm blinded?" Jay asks, mocking his efforts.

"Shut up!" Matt says after pulling out his sword and charging right at him. Their blades slam together with a loud ***CLINK***!

Jay breaks the block, and kicks Matt across while singing a portion of Stone Temple Pilots' "Big Bang Baby" **(3)**, _"Big bang baby it's a crash crash crash, I wanna Die but I gotta laugh…"_,as he slowly walks over to finish the job.

Matt gets up and growls in frustration, "Okay, enough of these backyard party level illusions! So, you wanna see a show with some razzle-dazzle? You want a **challenge**?! Well, you got one!"

Just then, Matt pulls out three small metallic balls, and tosses them at Jay's feet. Jay just laughs, "How are those supposed to stop m-?"

**PIFF PAFF PAFF!**

Jay's taunt was stopped as all three metal balls explode at his feet, releasing a bright flash and a cloud of green smoke, blinding him. The green smoke briefly covers most of the fighting ring.

"What the hell?! I can't ***cough*** see anything!" Jay exclaims as he stumbles back helplessly.

"Exactly. The world of a magician is one of wonder created with simple mirrors and smoke. Welcome to my world Jay!" Matt exclaims as he clashes swords with the stunned Puppetmaster.

"Now this… this is better!" Jay exclaims as he blocks over and over again, despite being dazed and partially confused. Matt kicks him to the ground after breaking one of his quick attacks.

As Jay jumps up and prepares to charge him, Matt makes himself vanish in a puff of green smoke again. He appears out of nowhere behind Jay, so Jay has to block quickly from behind as he blocks a vicious downward slash from behind himself by Matt.

That block though knocks both of his daggers out of his hands, forcing Jay to leap forward, but then Matt appears right in front of him!

Jay's eyes widen, and he desperately pulls Matt's legs out from under him. Matt drops his saber as he falls, and it slides away from him.

Jay gets on top of him, and starts mercilessly beating him in the face. Matt raises his right palm to Jay's face, but this time Jay sees it coming, grabs his wrist, and crushes the pressure canister in his sleeve's launcher, disabling it. Matt knees Jay in the stomach, and then pushes him off. Seeing their blades, both scramble to get to theirs first. As fortune would have it, both get to their respective swords at the same time. Jay gets up quicker, and charges right at Matt.

Acting on instinct alone, Mathieu tries to bring up his smoke launcher in defense. This time, however, it actually explodes in his face, causing the armor on his forearm to tear open like an exploding soup can! This explosion also caused both Mathieu and Jay to be blinded by the bright blast. The combatants stumbled away from each other in confusion as they were enveloped in a large cloud of green smoke. Matt was the one who was the worst off of the two, as shown by him choking out an extremely pained blood-curdling scream!

As the billowing green smoke finally evaporated…those watching saw why Mathieu screamed. Most of the Magician's armour protection on his right forearm was blown off, torn, or melted. The exposed skin was blistered, burnt, or bleeding thanks to pieces of the machine being shrapnel. However, despite that, Mathieu was still standing and holding on to his Calvary Sabre. While doing so, some of those watching noticed that blood, Matt's blood, was dripping from the tip.

"You ready to give up yet Magic Boy?" Jay asks all cocky and smug as he walks towards the wounded and weakened amateur illusionist.

"Oh, I have one last trick left up my sleeve…" Matt says, as he tries to pull out something… only to find it's not there.

"Looking for this?" Jay says as he holds out an Ace of Spades playing card.

"Oh shi-!" Matt tries to say as Jay tosses the card right in his face. Unknown to Jay, the playing card was actually a powerful explosive meant to be capable of knocking the wind out of people from a fair distance. But when it detonated with a ***BOOM***,it was only inches from Matt's face!

Mathieu shrieked in agony as he was now completely incapacitated by the blinding flash and caustic mist. "IT BURNS!" He screams, dropping the sabre and trying to tear his facemask off.

Jay stands there in shock for a second, and then shakes himself out of it. Charging the burned Magician, Jay yells, "This is the grand finale everyone!" with no passion as he slices Matt's throat and stabs him multiple times in the chest. After doing so, he says "I'm so sorry Mathieu." before kicking him hard in the face, knocking him out mercifully.

Too stunned by the level of wrong that concluded this fight, Kevin barely said that Jay won. Some clap and cheer… others just sit there in stunned silence, in fact…most where silent.

In response, Jay rips off his mask, grins nervously as he bows to his audience, while saying with an equally nervous chuckle and gesture towards the unconscious Mathieu, "Thank you everyone! I hope you enjoyed the show… I think my assistant needs immediate medical attention."

"It's alright man… I got the hospital on speed dial, help's on the way for Matt." Kevin says.

"Good." Jay replies as he slips the Kukri back into their scabbards on his back, and walks off without another word.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I'm glad I won… but that was lot more bloody than I thought it would be. Poor Matt… I didn't mean to rough him up **that** badly. I had no clue what that card would do, let alone explode. I'm really, REALLY sorry Matt." Jay says with regret, before shuddering.

"I'm glad he didn't have the opportunity to use it on me… but still his arm is mangled up something fierce, and I don't even wanna know what the poor bastard's face looks or feels like right now. Not gonna cry, not gonna cry… what's done is done" Jay says, sighing and cringing.

"I actually hope Magic Dude comes back. And yes, I said Magic **DUDE**, not Magic **BOY**… Matt earned my respect today…" Jay says with a weak smile of pity and hopefulness in equal measure before adding, "…and my attention. The guys' got a half-decent arsenal of tricks and traps. They likely would have worked against someone else, but as Matt found out first hand, I'm a very different breed of animal, a breed that doesn't fall for parlor tricks." Jay says with pride.

"Watch your back Matt… because I have a few "tricks" of my own." Jay finishes with the same weak smile, but in a much more foreboding and sinister tone of voice.

(Static)

"Even though he felt pity and sadness at the end of the duel, knocking Mathieu out as a mercy… the overwhelming vibe I got from Jay throughout was one of bloodlust, and that worries me." Dawn says concerned, almost afraid.

"His anger, bloodlust, and mindless aggression could be a problem if it isn't kept in check. Jay is as worrisome, if not more so than Chris, and they're both on the same team. There **will be** fireworks between those two, it's just a matter of when and how." Dawn says matter-of-factly.

(Static)

"It's obvious Jay has martial skills… you don't learn moves like that without an instructor, most likely Tai-Kwon-Do." Rob ponders for a second. "But he chooses to get up close and personal like a street punk, why? Just personal preference or something more? I will be watching him closely in the second round."

(Static)

"Why doesn't it surprise me at all that the new host has the hospital on speed dial?" Noah smacks himself in the head as he says "Oh right… because this is still Total Drama!"

(Static)

"First challenge in… and we already have two people in the hospital, possibly three, depending on Melody's condition… Sigh…" Kevin says as he facepalms. "Now I'm glad those forms were signed… Goddamnit!" Kevin yells in despair, tearing up a little. "It is REALLY hard to host this show and stomach all the carnage, how did Chris do it?" Kevin ponders aloud, with a few tears now streaking across his face.

"Sniff, turn it off, TURN IT OFF!"

(Static)

"It was like watching the bastard lovechild of a Las Vegas Magic Show and a cage match…**pure awesomeness!**" Duncan exclaims grinning ear to ear. "Fireball did pretty good for himself… THAT NEVER LEAVES THIS ROOM! GOT IT!?" His voice suddenly became threatening.

(Static)

"Matty is what you would have gotten if Batman had forgotten the physical training and instead of being like 'BECAUSE I'M PSYCHOTIC AND HAVE TO FIGHT CRIME' was like 'BECAUSE I'M HAPPY AND NEED TO PUT QUATERERS BEHIND LITTLE KIDS' EARS'!" Chris says normally while shouting the "statements" for no real reason.

(Static)

"Matt has some formidable, mad magic skillz! He could become a pro one day with enough practice, I'm jealous." Harold says with a smile before his tone turns to one of pity and sadness. "I hope he's okay, I don't want to lose such a great teammate this early…"

(Static)

"Wow that was incredible!" Sadie exclaims with glee. "But Jay didn't mean to hurt poor Matt that badly right?" She wonders. "Maybe I should ask him after the challenge is over…"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Let's see, that's two Cyborg wins in a row. And this next match might make it three. While I'd like to presume nothing, given who the competing Cyborg is that seems likely. However, let's let the match speak for itself…get on up here Erebus and Francisco!" Kevin says.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I can't say that I'm entirely happy with how Kevin announced this fight, though I can't exactly blame him either. As I said before, I fail to see enjoyment in fighting all together. Don't get me wrong, I've been in a few scarps and I've usually come out pretty well. But since this is a sword duel and not a bare-knuckle brawl, I'm at a grave disadvantage here. I'll just have to do my best and hope my muscles and will carry me to victory, I guess." Francisco says worriedly.

(Static)

Katie and Sadie are sitting together in the Confessional.

"Katie, can I say something to you in confidence?" Sadie asks, looking worried and not realizing that they were directly in-front of a video camera recording their every word.

"Of course. Is something wrong?" Katie answered, now looking concerned.

"Well…I hope no one gets hurt. But…I'm really, really looking forward to this fight!" Sadie says with initial reluctance giving way to genuine desire-filled conviction.

"Me too Sadie! We've got two super muscular hotties about to throw themselves at each other. And that fabric armor doesn't leave much to the imagination. And I'm glad for it!" Katie says, adding to Sadie's intense pleasure at watching the upcoming duel.

"Me too! It's good that we both love man-candy and these are the best pieces, uh?" Sadie says.

"EEEEEEEE!" Both girls suddenly scream while jumping up and down in eagerness.

(Static)

Justin is looking up, as if deep in thought, tapping his fingers against crossed arms. "I have sensed a disturbance in the sexy force. My man-candy senses are tingling!"

(Static)

Jay is also looking up in thought, but his thoughts are not as trivial, though just as vain.

"Should I be happy that Erebus will likely win this match for my team or should I be disappointed that he likely won't get that big ego and "pretty face" of his broken up a little bit?" He asks with a mischievous smile on his face.

(Static)

"I hope that fine-ass Spanish boy can take care of Erebus. It'd help us out a lot for sure." Leshawna says.

(Static)

"While likely not the most incapable person here, Francisco shouldn't entertain the notion of winning this match against me as anything more than a hope filled ploy. What is more than mere hope, however, will be me having fun while treating him like a sentient, fleshy windup toy." Erebus says, his confidence in his victory shining through his trend for poetic couplets.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #14: Erebus (Custom made Cane-sword) vs. Francisco (Sword of Mars: Long, heavy double-edged sword)! **

Both Erebus and Francisco walked onto the dueling platform. True to Katie and Sadie's hopes and dreams, the Dragonscale armor left very little to the imagination as it tightly hugged the large muscles on the two teenagers. Many happy squeals were heard then.

But neither teenage boy acknowledged this (though both were very pleased to hear it). Instead, their attentions were focused almost solely on each other and the duel to come.

Both primed and stared at their weapons. The Tattoo Artist looked at his weapon, unique among those available. While its long length, heavy weight, and double-edged blade were common enough, not so normal was its rusty red coloring. However, if this was the Sword of Mars, named after the Roman god of war and reportedly used by Attila the Hun, then having a blade matching the coloring of the planet bearing Mars' name would make sense (even if the likelihood of that was not very great). Even if it wasn't the true Sword of Mars, Francisco hoped this one would grant similar promises of invincibility.

Looking back up, he saw Erebus glaring with his amber eyes like those of a stalking tiger. The smirk on the Machiavellian Poet's pretty face was just as confident and unsettling.

"I can tell you two are eager for this melee, and to be honest so am I, so are you ready?" Kevin asks. After both of the combatants nod, he adds, "Then let the brawl begin!"

Despite clearly being eager for battle, Erebus shocked everyone when he stayed still. After a few seconds of waiting and nothing, Francisco decided to make the first move.

With Francisco's mighty muscles powering it, the Sword of Mars was lunged forward!

Remaining unmoving and apparently unimpressed, Erebus waited until the last moment before acting. With a speed that shocked everyone watching, he dodged the red sword. Then with another motion just as quick, the Poet brought his own blade onto Francisco. Being so precise in his strike, Erebus had the blade of his cane-sword make contact near the left side of Francisco's upper chest.

Stunned by the speed of the strike, Francisco stood still and instinctually held his breath. Everyone watching had expressions on their faces like Francisco's, of complete shock.

"And with what looks like a quick strike to the heart, the winner of this match is…" Kevin starts to say despite his shock until…

"Wait Kevin, this fight has only just begun. Do you truly believe I'd be so quick to end my fun?" Erebus says, making sure that Francisco can see the conviction in his eyes.

"But you've struck Francisco's heart, which means you automatically win this fight." Kevin says, restating one of the rules of the fight to Erebus.

"If I had hit his heart, Kevin, you would have made no blunder. But with things as they are, I haven't stricken the heart but instead I have hit the space directly under."

With both teenagers standing exactly as they were, Kevin approached them to see what Erebus meant. And true to his word, it was the space under Francisco's heart that had been attacked. While this would have been lethal normally, for this duel it meant nothing. The host had said the heart or the right side would be an automatic win, not the left side.

"He's right. The blade did not make contact with Francisco's heart. The fight is still on!" Kevin reveals to those watching.

Moving his blade away from Francisco, Erebus smiled as he proclaimed, "I'm sorry for that affront to your pride but in regards to your reaction to that I had a strong curiosity. Not wishing to deny you a sporting chance, allow me to attack you more traditionally."

With that, Erebus suddenly lunged at Francisco while screaming an alarming battle cry!

What happened next exactly no one watching could say. The fighters briefly vanished in the gleaming of the sun off of their blades and the sounds of their loud metallic clashing!

Once their eyes adjusted to the speed of the blows being delivered, they eagerly watched.

The two had been exchanging and negating blows for over a minute before Erebus stopped and with a small leap stood at right on the verge of the platform's right side. Smirking, Erebus made a movement with his free hand, inviting Francisco to approach.

Francisco had now decided that since Erebus had already proven his skills when approached normally, that a powerful running start might be required to defeat him. After reaching left side and preparing, Francisco started to run at him as fast as his legs would carry him. As the space between them closed, he leapt strongly into the air above him!

As the Spanish teenager covered in tattoos was approaching the ground in front of him, Erebus displayed only a massive smile on his face as he readied himself.

Francisco landed with great force and began to cut at Erebus as furiously as possible!

The Tattoo Artist had hoped that the speed of the run combined with his muscular weight would be enough to knock Erebus back with just enough to force him off of the platform.

He was wrong.

His opponent appeared to be an unmovable object. Since their height, weight, and muscle amount was virtually identical, the force of the landing had no great effect. Putting all of his considerable energy into his attacks after the landing, Francisco slashed viciously in every direction and from every angle with no greater plan or strategy. Given how physically powerful Francisco was, in most instances this would have been enough. However, this was not most instances and Erebus simply blocked all of the Spanish boy's frenzied attacks with little effort and that same massive smile as before the landing.

For likely three minutes, Francisco hacked away mightily while Erebus stood unmoving. Finally, whether it was fear of becoming worn down by the assault or simple boredom, Erebus changed things up by quickly moving behind his foe after blocking another blow.

Attempting to take advantage of this change, Erebus brought his blade upon Francisco. However, truly shocking the Poet, the Tattoo Artist's red sword was already there and blocked the blow. Looking impressed for the first time since this fight had gotten started, Erebus marveled at how their blades were now being forced onto each other so mightily. Even more notable was how Francisco was doing so with only one hand on the handle.

"Your formal and proper training with how to use a sword in combat is unquestionably lacking. However, your warrior resolve has allowed you to not yet be sent packing." Erebus said as the fighters stare at each other while trying to outmuscle their opponent.

"Thanks for the odd compliment **espadachín** but I don't plan on being sent packing at all." Francisco says, sounding as confident as possible despite his arms feeling like cement. **(4)**

With eyes saying that what the Tattoo Artist said was completely absurd, Erebus says, "All of your attempts to attack me end in nothing but parries and blocks. If you have any real hope of defeating me, you must quickly learn to use the unusual and unorthodox."

"Thanks for the advice. I think I will!" Francisco says with a sudden smile appearing.

In a shockingly fluid motion, Francisco used his free hand to punch Erebus in the face!

Stunned by the blow, Erebus stumbled backwards and slipped on the greased platform. Seizing his chance, Francisco got on top of Erebus and took his cane-sword away. Still holding it, the Tattoo Artist primed his own sword in order to end this hard struggle.

However, regaining his bearings, Erebus returned the favor by suddenly getting back on his feet and while doing so head butting Francisco as hard as he could!

Now being the one stunned, Francisco stumbled back and in the process dropped his Sword of Mars. Back on his feet, Erebus reached down and picked up the red blade. Similar to Erebus, it took Francisco mere moments to recompose himself for battle.

They both stared each other down…with their opponent's weapon instead of their own.

After staring each other down for a few seconds (partially in confusion over the situation), Francisco was the first to speak after remembering an important detail.

"You do realize that if we each keep the other's weapon for more than a minute that we'll both lose this fight, right Erebus?"

"In regards to both of us breaking a rule and losing this match, I completely agree. How about we each throw the opponent's blade to them on the count of three?" Erebus asks.

"Fine by me. But I'll count. We will throw on one…two…three!" Francisco slowly says.

True to their words, both Erebus and Francisco threw their opponent's sword to them. Both stood where they were and waited for their blades to reach them. However, having a rush of inspiration, Erebus acted quicker than Francisco and leapt into the air for his blade. Catching it in mid-air, he then dove down onto Francisco and made his move.

This time not trying to miss, Erebus drove his cane-sword right at Francisco's heart!

Adding insult to injury, the moment when his heart was stabbed, the Sword of Mars fell into Francisco's hand. Just like with Attila the Hun, its promised invincibility was a lie.

"Well I guess that is that, isn't it Erebus?" Francisco asks, his voice aware of his failure.

"Yes it is but you have no reason to feel lacking or incompetent in the duel we had here. You are the first person to have ever got the better of me for the first time in many years." Erebus says as he reaches down and helps Francisco get back on his feet with a smile.

"Thanks Erebus. I guess that counts for something…in a weird sort of way, I mean."

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I truly meant what I said when I remarked that there was a worthy challenge in Francisco. Given more time and training, the battle skills within him will surely grow." Erebus says with his respect for Francisco shining through.

(Static)

"Well, that went about as well as I had dreaded that it would. Erebus mopped the floor with me in that fight. I hope my team doesn't hold this lost against me." Francisco says.

(Static)

"I have no opinion whatsoever of swords and I think his speaking in rhyme is creepy." Britney says before adding, "But there's something so goddamn hot about Erebus!"

(Static)

"Erebus, with fantastic looks and great fighting skills, you amaze me sir!" Nanon says happily.

(Static)

Katie and Sadie are simply staring into the camera as if they had been deserted on a barren island for months and just now have seen a well-prepared meal. They look like they've been drooling all over themselves for far longer than they should.

"So…much…man-candy…" Katie struggles to say before…

"…So much…tight clothing and muscles…" Sadie says continuing Katie's thought.

The two then stare at each other, as they do, their smiles grow into being total.

"We've seen a lot of it today haven't we?" Katie asks grinning.

"Oh we have, let's hope we get to see more in rounds two and three." Sadie says.

"I couldn't agree more, DJ was great despite the fact he lost. Duncan was good despite the fact I hate his lying, cheating ass." Katie comments bitterly.

"I know right? Back on topic though, Damian was hot, and Jay was even hotter…" Sadie says starry-eyed.

"Jay… really Sadie? He's stick thin" Katie says.

"I know that, but he's the right kind of thin, like male model thin… thin enough that his pecks and abs are exposed completely."

"Whatever you say…" Katie states with sarcasm.

"Sigh… can we at least agree that we're both looking forward to round two?" Sadie asks.

"Now THAT I can agree to!"

"EEEEEEE!" Katie and Sadie suddenly squeal in unison.

(Static)

"I'm sorry you were unable to defeat Erebus but you fought with honor. For that and cursing out Alejandro earlier, you have earned my respect Francisco." Harold says.

(Static)

"Way to go E-be! Izzy's so proud of her newest best buddy who she hasn't talked to yet!" Izzy says with great joy for Erebus' victory, ignoring the possibly creepy content at work.

(Static)

Jay is drumming his fingers on the make-up confessional's table as he stares with a restrained but fierce look of anger on his face.

"The Cyborgs won three matches in a row. I should be happy, or at least pleased. But I'm not. While I did win, the other two came from the two people who I want to eliminate from this team the most! Unless one of them fails unbelievably in the next round, they are pretty much safe from elimination. FUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

He starts slamming his head against the Confessional's table, then stops. "Ah man, was that ever stupid!" He groans after he's done.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"So, that is victory lucky number three for the Crushing Cyborgs, but can they make it four? To find out next we may have the MOST one sided fight of the night… our loveable smartass bookworm Noah taking on a very good friend of mine, the one, the only…JUSTIN!" Kevin exclaims as Justin gives him the thumbs up from the stands.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Gee, thanks for the totally unbiased support for Anti-me, Kevin!" Noah exclaims bitterly. "Sigh… but seriously, I **do not** like my odds for this fight, at all. Justin's bigger, he's stronger, and it looks like he might have held a sword before this point. I may very well be doomed. My only advantages are my agility and smarts, and only Harold has won so far using that. But I'm still gonna fight, I have to try. I'm probably out of my huge flippin' mind but I'm going to try!"

(Static)

"Normally, I would be worried because Justin is just such a freaking pussy." Jay states arms crossed, then he smiles and slams his palms on the table. "But the head-to-toe armor eliminates the pussy factor completely; I can see no way how he can lose against Noah! The fourth straight Cyborg winner into the second round is gonna be coming through!" Jays says, now laughing.

(Static)

"Let's see, I'm bigger, I'm stronger, I'm faster, and I actually have some experience with a sword… thank you Gabriel for those self-defence classes by the way. For those of you who don't know, Gabriel is my modeling agent and fitness instructor. Admittedly, I was never amazing with a sword but I think I was competent enough. I never told you this… but you're like the big brother I never had, and what you taught me will lead me to victory." Justin chokes up a little, and a single tear leaves his eye, "Man… heh it must be dusty in here."

(Static)

Giavanna is sitting with her head above the camera's gaze, her hands in a position fit for praying.

"Oh God, please protect Noah, keep away him from going to the hospital like Nise and Matt."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #15: Justin (****Arabian Scimitar: Long, thin, curved single edge sword)**** vs. Noah (****Kopis Short Sword: Slightly-curved iron sword)! **

Justin and Noah step onto the platform, and stare each other down.

"You know Noah, you can just walk away, no harm, no foul." Justin says.

"I'm kinda surprised by your offer Justin… but I gotta say no. I have to try, my days of quitting and not supporting my team are long dead and gone." Noah says.

"Admirable, but being noble won't get you far in this game… remember what Al did to you?" Justin asks as he pulls out the Scimitar.

"Yeah, well he was an intellectual equal. He was way smarter than you, smart enough to outsmart me… there's no chance you will ever be able to do the same." Noah says.

"I don't **need **to outsmart you, just out-muscle you. And that is something that I'll have no issues doing bookworm." Justin states confidently.

"Hey, you guys' ready? Or are you just gonna trash each other the whole match instead?" Kevin asks impatiently, tapping his fingers on his chair.

"Do you really need to ask?" Justin asks snipingly.

"Hey! **Sarcasm is MY thing!**" Noah exclaims in offense.

"Okay guys, DUEL!" Kevin exclaims.

"Alright Justin… let's get this over with!" Noah exclaims with abnormal enthusiasm as he pulls out his Kopis and charges right at Justin, who runs at him in response.

They start slashing at each other wildly, trying to get through the other's defenses. Justin eventually knocks away Noah's blade, and pushes him to the ground and then grins.

"Sorry Bookworm, but you were outclassed from the moment you entered the ring." Justin says as he tries to finish the downed Noah off, but Noah rolls out of the way. Justin stabs down at too far an angle, falling flat on his face, and as he gets up, his vision is blurred by the goggles.

"I can't see anything… everything's like a dream sequence!" Justin exclaims as he stumbles around while Noah continues to attack him from the front, Justin blocking with his forearms.

"Fuck it!" Justin exclaims as he swings blindly at Noah, connecting with a lucky shot to his left cheek, sending him spinning. Justin then rips off the goggles, and runs over to his Scimitar with Noah in close pursuit. Justin rips the Scimitar out of the ground, but is stabbed dead centre of the chest as he faces Noah.

"N-No… no way." Justin says as he looks at the Kopis in his chest in sheer disbelief.

Noah rips his mask off and grins while ripping the Kopis out of Justin's chest. "Believe it Anti-Me… who's the outclassed one now?"

"And… uh Noah wins? NOAH WINS GUYS!" Kevin exclaims.

And with that Noah walks away with a proud smile on his face with loud applause from all of the Avatars. One voice in particular startled everyone with a high-pitched scream of delight, which was quickly replaced with embarrassed giggling. Everyone turned to see a red-faced Giavanna, who was now trying to hide her face in shame but was unsuccessful due to her height.

Noah was almost thankful that everyone was focused on Giavanna; otherwise they might have noticed the massive blush and smile on the bookworm's normally stoic and stone-like face.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I-I can't believe I lost… beaten by Noah of all fucking people. This is one of the worst days of my life!" Justin exclaims, ashamed. Justin comforts himself by looking at himself in the mirror. "At least I have my show-stopping good looks right?"

(Static)

"Hey, I'm just as surprised as anyone else…it just goes to show how far brains can take you in this game." Noah says with chuckles and pride. Then his face becomes more contemplative.

"And that wasn't the only thing that was surprising about this fight's outcome. The other Avatars were cheering for me, someone was actually cheering for me. That has never happened before. As idiotic as I know this sounds to me, seeing them, especially Giavanna, cheer for me felt great. I'm actually looking forward to round two." Noah says with a slight smile creeping up into view.

(Static)

"Noah **won** against Justin…" Gia says kind of shocked. "And that means…" She continues with her face getting a massive smile as she adds, "NOAH JOINS ME IN THE SECOND ROUND!"

Unable to contain herself, Giavanna then began jumping up and down in fangirl jubilation, **"EEEEE-OW-EEEE-OW-EEE-OW-EEEEE!"**

However, given her height, this meant that in the middle of her happy squeal that her head would hit the Confessional's ceiling. But she was far too ecstatic for Noah to notice this or truly care.

(Static)

Jay has his arms crossed with a disgusted scowl, tapping his fingers across his forearm. His eye twitches. Then he slams his fist on the confessional table, creating a crack.

"Justin, you had the easiest job here… BEAT NOAH and you couldn't even do that right, you useless piece of shit!" Jay screams as he slams his fists into the table, the cracks in the table getting bigger as he slams harder and harder, more enraged at Justin's incompetence. It breaks into four pieces with a resounding ***CRASH***, finally waking him up from his childish tantrum.

"Uh… you saw nothing!" Jay says as he pulls out one of his Kukri knives, and stabs the camera, destroying it.

(Static)

Kevin and Chef are in the Confessional, marvelling at something with sheer disbelief.

"Okay Kevin… new camera for the third time this episode, but what the hell are we going to do about the table?!" Chef asks incredulously.

"Just chill man! You Chef are gonna clean this up, and then we'll get a new table in the morning!" Kevin says, patting Chef's shoulder in comfort, then walks away.

"At least he's better than McLean…I actually **GET PAID!**" Chef exclaims.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And finally, the duel we've been waiting for all-day as we head into the evening and round two. Possibly the greatest two martial artists in TD history face off in an epic duel to end all duels! The Polygons' mysterious ninja Ari vs. the ever crazy red-headed badass, Izzy of the Avatars!" Kevin exclaims, absolutely giddy with anticipation.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Damn straight Izzy is badass!" Izzy exclaims smiling. She then begins dancing in excitement. "Oh I can't contain myself anymore… IZZY IS JUST SO EXCITED FOR THIS! Izzy hasn't had a challenge like this in ages!" Izzy exclaims with joy, her voice cracking mid-sentence.

(Static)

Ari is in the Confessional and for the first time we hear a voice from the Ninja, though it's an artificially lower tone and dark voice that makes defining a gender absolutely impossible.

"Ahem! Good, it works. I'm not one to waste my words, but I have been looking forward to this all day. Me and Izzy are likely pretty even in abilities but I did something to exceed the odds."

Ari then stands away from the camera, pulling out his/her Ninjatos. The Ninja then clicks them together with one twist, creating one double blade Ninjato **(5).**

"I'm typically not one to boast… but you are going down today Izzy!"

(Static)

"Man, this is gonna be so epic… is there gonna be popcorn?" Jay says happily.

(Static)

"Even after this show is dead and gone… this legendary battle will be shown over and over again in syndication forever!" Chris says with the zealous conviction of holy prophet.

(Static)

"This will be a very good match… if Izzy doesn't find a way to inadvertently kill us first." Duncan says, both happy for and worried about the fight to come.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**Match #16: Ari (****Ninjatos: Shorter version of the katana)**** vs. Izzy (****Twin Hooks: Hook ended swords with blades surrounding the handles that can be linked together)! **

Izzy and Ari finally step onto the platform, to raucous cheers from most of the guys and even a few of the girls who were really excited for this fight.

"Okay… Izzy, you ready?" Kevin asks.

Izzy rips the twin hooks off her back. "Isn't Izzy always ready for a fight?"

"And Ari, you ready to go?" Kevin asks Ari.

The Ninja pulls out his/her Ninjatos, and nods.

"Alright, then lets fight!" Kevin exclaims barely able to contain himself.

Izzy starts by charging first and goes in for a scissor slash, but Ari is no longer there. He/she then attacks Izzy from behind, who blocks Ari's lightning-quick slashes and parries with ease.

Izzy turns around, stomps on Ari's foot, and uses the hooks to rip away one of his/her Ninjatos. Then she scissor kicks Ari in the face, sending the Ninja sprawling. Izzy charges at him/her, but Ari grabs a glob of grease off the floor, and throws it right in Izzy's eyes, covering her goggles.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Izzy protests as she is forced to rip off her goggles like Justin before her. By this time, Ari has grabbed the stray Ninjato again, and tries a leaping scissor slash on Izzy, but she just backflips out of the way.

Izzy then kicks Ari in the chest, causing Ari to shuffle back. Izzy comes at Ari again, but Ari frontflips over Izzy, and comes at her from behind again!

Izzy once again blocks, and spins around to try to slash at Ari, but Ari just backflips to the other end of the platform with ease.

"Alright, let's try something a little different then." Izzy says, seeing the futility of this approach.

Izzy jumps at Ari as the Ninja sidesteps her yet again. But this time, Izzy clinks together her twin hooks, and tries to whip Ari! Ari dodges again, but isn't unscathed… Izzy has slashed Ari's right arm. Seeing the mighty Ninja damaged, even only slightly, gave Izzy even greater resolve.

The hooks whip and Izzy's merciless attacks forces Ari on the defensive. Izzy then leaps into the air, whips the hooks around her head like a ball and chain, ripping the Ninjatos from Ari's hands again! The Ninja's electric blue eyes showed worry while Izzy's emerald ones were glowing.

Izzy then tries to finish Ari off by whipping the hook blade into Ari's throat, but Ari slides under and trips Izzy, causing the unpredictable read-head to fall to her side with a ***THUD***!

Ari then runs for her Ninjatos as Izzy quickly gets up and chases after the Ninja. Ari grabs the Ninjatos just in time to block yet another attack from the ever-resilient Izzy. Ari breaks her block, and delivers a devastating high kick right to Izzy's chin, sending her flying onto her back!

Ari then combines his/her Ninjatos into the Ninjato double-blade, spinning it in his/her hands!

Izzy gets to her feet fully eager. "Oh! Izzy likey! Izzy likey very much! Unfortunately, it will not help you." Izzy says as she runs right at Ari, and Ari does the same for once!

Izzy starts with a side jumping slash straight out of a Kung-Fu movie, hoping to rip the double blade out and finally get Ari! But it doesn't work, because as soon as Izzy's hook connects, Ari jerks it away, causing Izzy to somersault onto the ground with an audible ***SMASH*!**

This leaves Izzy dazed and confused, but that doesn't deter her from going right at Ari. The Wild Redhead was slashing wildly in every conceivable direction, even spinning around on some of them! The speed of the attacks from Izzy was more akin to a ranging twister than a mere human!

But no matter how impressive, these attacks would be to no avail. Contrasting the wild Izzy, Ari was as calm as could be while blocking the many attacks from the Twin Hooks. With his/her electric blue eyes focused on the fiery opponent as cold and collected as possible, Ari was waiting for Izzy to leave herself open to an attack. After a few frantic minutes, the chance came.

Seeing a microsecond when both of the Twin Hooks were separated and offering no protection, Ari acted! In the space between the hooked swords, the Ninja delivered a devastating uppercut!

The force was great enough to send Izzy flying through the air and spinning as she was falling. After a full flip in mid-air, Izzy had landed on her back with her Twin Hooks knocked away. Izzy lay unsure of her bearings; the exhaustion of the fight and uppercut had taken their toll.

Walking towards Izzy slowly, Ari stood directly over the dazedPsycho Hose Beast. Briefly spinning his/her double bladed Ninjato, Ari plunges it dead centre into Izzy's heaving chest!

The match was over. Ari had taken down perhaps the most feared (by most) Total Drama player.

For a few long seconds, there was only silence. No one did so much as even dare to breathe.

Then…every single person present stood up and applauded, cheering loudly at the awe-inspiring display they just witnessed! Even Dawn and Noah were applauding just as wildly and fully.

"BRAVO ARI AND IZZY! BRAVO! That was the most spectacular display of martial arts skill and swordplay I've seen outside of a movie set! No, you know what? That was better than that! THERE WAS NO WIRE WORK OR CGI HERE! Just good old fashion skill and lust for battle! And by GOD what a battle! Izzy, my dear, you we're truly awe-inspiring! But Ari, you won! Ari, YOU ARE HEADING TO ROUND TWO!" Kevin exclaims with unbridled enthusiasm as he walks towards the two mighty warriors while clapping as loud as he could.

Izzy was still lying on the ground, partially out of tiredness but also out of some small shame. However, before those thoughts could get too strong, a shadow appeared over her laying form. Looking up, Izzy saw Ari before her with a hand extended. Taking the hand, Izzy was helped up. Now with Izzy on her feet, Ari disconnected the dual Ninjatos into the two blades before placing them back into the scabbards on his/her back. Turning towards Izzy, Ari bowed respectfully. After that, the Ninja extended a black-gloved hand once again, this time for a handshake. Seeing this and Ari nod in approval, Izzy shook the hand with a massive smile on her face once more.

As the two warriors walked off of the fighting ring, the thunderous applause for them continued.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Izzy is disappointed she lost… but THAT was the most fun Izzy's had in a long time! **So awesome!** We'll definitely need a re-match, Ari and I, and I look forward to it!" Izzy says with a crazed grin. "Izzy has met her match… I bow to you my sensei." She bows before walking out.

(Static)

Ari breathes on her/his fist, and rubs it on his/her shirt as he/she says with the same distorted voice, as before the fight, "That was so fun, a real challenge…those are few and far in-between. And unfortunately for me, I doubt there'll be anymore among those here."

(Static)

"Now I have a most unique dilemma within the context of Total Drama, how to test my valour? Should I challenge Ari or Staci in the next round, which female is a warrior of a higher calibre?" Erebus asks himself with a pondering smile on his face.

(Static)

"Now, THAT was memorable! But let me tell ya, I ain't going up against Ari if I can help it! That's for sure." Jay says.

(Static)

"And THAT, ladies and gentleman, is why you never mess with a Ninja!" Harold states matter-of-factly. "Izzy is Ari's martial arts equal… and she proved to be no match for Ari's mad skills. No one will stop Ari from leading the Polygons to our first victory! Not Giavanna, not Rob, not even Erebus…I'm sure of it!"

(Static)

"Ari is going to cut everyone in her, his…whatever, path to mincemeat, got no doubt about that. And that makes me love…whatever is under that black ninja cloth. And why? Because otherwise I'm afraid that everyone will gun for Jo and weaken my small alliance after the very first day!" Duncan says.

(Static)

"Ari is so skilled it's scary… the perfect challenge for me in the next round!" Rob says smiling.

(Static)

"Epic, legendary, spectacular, amazing, awe-inspiring… none of these words do that match to end all matches justice!" Chris says while almost gushing over the magnificent fight just seen.

(Static)

"That was by far, the best duel yet. And that was because both combatants were not motivated by bloodlust, anger, or a need to put others down, like certain less… respectable competitors," Dawn says adding with a questionable cough, "***Cough*** Duncan, Jo, Jay, Melody ***Cough***".

After that, the coughing that didn't sound very convincing, Dawn continued speaking normally, "But by mutual respect and the thrill of the challenge Ari and Izzy presented to each other, almost makes me wish I had been able to duel…**almost.**"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And so after we end the first round of duels on THE highest note possible…we will proceed immediately into the second round without any interruptions or any other kind of bull-" Kevin says before being interrupted once again by a text sent from his producers. Looking at said text made Kevin's face contort into rage as he angrily exclaimed, "Go to commercial… REALLY?!"

Sighing in defeat, Kevin says to the camera with disdainful venom, "Fine, I'm sorry guys, but we have to go commercial break at the producer's insistence…what a royal pain in the buttocks!"

However, being the actor that he is, Kevin then broke from this great distain and entered his happy host mode as he says, "Anyway, don't change that channel, because up next is the second round! Where we fight until there is only ONE dualist left standing… who will it be? And who will go home first? Find out after the break on **TOTAL, DRAMA, WHAT IS REAL!**"

* * *

**Dualists advancing:**

**Pummeling Polygons: Harold, Ari, Staci, Duncan and Jo**

**Assaulting Avatars: Joseph, Giavanna, Noah, Mary, and Solita**

**Crushing Cyborgs: Erebus, Rob, Nanon, Jay, and Katie**

* * *

**Side Notes:**

**1. Colin and Zachary are OC'S in Kobold Necromancer's Epic "Total Drama Battlegrounds". He needs all our support, so get to reading guys!**

**2 and 3. "Big Bang Baby" and "The Good Life" are songs I left as Little Easter eggs for you guys, and two of my personal favorites. I'll be doing this from now on… but I won't mention the title of the song, or who it's by again… just the lyrics, can you guess them all? ;)**

**4. Espadachín is the Spanish word for swordsman.**

**5. Is a direct reference to Storm Shadow of G.I Joe fame, who combines his Katanas in each of the G.I Joe movies and some of the comics. **

**Total Drama is property of Jennifer Pertsch, Tom Mcgillis, Fresh TV productions, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. "Big Bang Baby" is property of The Stone Temple pilots, Scott Weiland, and Universal Records. "The good life" is property of Three Days Grace and Sony BMG Records. Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me, everyone else belongs to either Rufus T. Serenity or CRRGL. Basic Storyline and some later plot threads by CRRGL.**

**I also must thank My buddy Rufus. T Serenity for his most excellent edit and our old friend and partner re-newed CRRGL for his BONUS! Editing.**


	7. What is Real? Episode 3, part 4

**Total Drama, What is Real? Part 4… the 2****nd**** Round!**

"And we are back! But before we continue with the next round of fights, there's something I have to ask. Given that the first round was brutal and two people already had to be rushed to the hospital while many others needed minor medical attention despite the Dragonscale armor, I need to ask if anyone wants to withdraw themselves before it starts. If for physical or psychological reasons, do any of you wish to forfeit your positions?" Kevin asks.

Several of the contestants looked at each other, thinking about accepting Kevin's offer.

"Kevin! As an act of penitence for my vile conduct towards your sister, I'll take myself out of the tournament. I can only hope that she and my fellow Avatars can forgive me." Joseph says, getting looks of shock from most but ones of joy from Mary and Owen.

"Aw, of course we can Joey! Come here buddy!" Owen assures him before hugging him.

"I'm not sure if I can forgive you Joseph, but I'll consider it…maybe?" Britney says smiling.

"Very well Joseph and your decision may not be a total lose. After all, the Avatars had a spare player, if you will. Dawn, would you like to take Joseph's place?" Kevin says.

The Moonchild looked shocked and as if she was engaging in a great internal debate. Sighing heavily with a look of reluctant understanding, Dawn walks over to a pile of the weapons of those defeated in the fighting so far. Pulling out her French Arming Sword, Dawn says, "While I'm not happy about this, I'll take Joseph's place for the Avatars."

"Nobel, very noble, especiallyconsidering your great, enlightened views of violence." Kevin says with approval to Dawn before turning to address the rest, "Anyone else?"

"As ***pant* **much as I hate to admit it…I'm ***pant*** in no condition to fight anymore. I'm truly sorry to my Cyborg comrades but…I-I need to take myself out of this tournament." Nanon says with the reluctance in her voice was only surpassed by physical weakness.

"Judging by your condition, I'd say that's a very wise move Nanon. I'm sure your fellow Cyborgs will understand." Kevin says to the One-Armed Girl who clearly couldn't fight.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"With me, Rob, and as much as I hate to admit it, Erebus, fighting, I highly doubt that the Cyborgs will lose this tournament. If we do, I could maybe get Freakshow out of here!" Jays says, happy at the notion of maybe getting Nanon out of the game so early.

(Static)

"I can understand why Joseph withdrew himself from the fighting but that doesn't change what he did before and will likely do again. As crazy as Izzy is, at least she's not violent. But if what he did in his fight with Britney is any indication, Joseph is truly dangerous. It's not like Britney did anything to justify his sudden wrathful outburst. Who could be next? Even with his act of penitence, if the Avatars lose then he is getting my vote." Noah says.

(Static)

"I should have known that I couldn't be spared so mercifully by this show, even under Kevin. While I still truly hate having to fight, I still refuse to be anything like Scott!" Dawn says.

(Static)

"Oh man…did ***pant*** I ever want to bail from this sword fighting. Greg did a real ***pant*** number on me and I'm still reeling from it. I'll likely lose my next fight in this state. But so many people are targeting me; I can't afford to risk ***pant*** tempting them further by weakening our roster. Even with it likely to be Jo who will be eliminated if we lose, that's too big a chance." Duncan says, with breath heavy and great struggle to talk.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Alright. Now that we got that out of the way, I have one last announcement, even though we still have a lot of fights to get through. The way the fights will be done from here on out will work like this. Once announced, the fight will begin immediately. Also, there is a ranking of two categories that decides who can pick who they can fight. The first category is the remaining captains based on which captain finished the fastest. Dawn, since you took Joseph's place, you get his captain privileges in this challenge. But you will have to wait since Harold defeated DJ quicker than he defeated Britney. So, Harold, which Avatars or Cyborg would you like to fight next?" Kevin explains and asks.

"That's a hard question to answer; both teams have a plethora of worthy opponents. But I have to pick a follow warrior who was denied the chance to use his mad skills earlier. I challenge Rob in a duel of honor between two warriors of moral character!" Harold says.

Rob merely smirks in graduated as he nods his head in approval. Harold returns his nod.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"Finally! After what feels like an eternity, I can at long last prove my merits in combat! And since Harold is more than capable of fighting, I don't need to hold anything back." Rob says, displaying an almost seemingly out-of-character excitement for the duel.

(Static)

"Awoo, I'm so nervous, ya'll! I know Harold's good but what if Rob is better?" Leshawna asks with her concern for Harold beaming through.

(Static)

"As bad as I ***pant***…as I feel…ma-maybe Doris getting ***pant*** owned might help?" Duncan says, his hope for seeing Harold get beaten not affecting his worsening condition.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 2: MATCH #1:** **Harold (Katana) vs. Rob (CRK 9-inch Combat Knife: self-explanatory)! **

"Allllrighty, then! Without any further adieu, would the fighters kindly take their positions?" Kevin exclaimed, obviously eager for this hellish day and challenge to be that much closer to being wrapped up. Harold and Rob took to opposite sides of the ring and prepared themselves for a true challenge. "Begin!"

If the two teens heard him, they didn't show it. Both just stood in a crouched, ready position. Harold gripping his katana purposefully and Rob holding his combat knife in front of himself with the blade trailing partially along the length of his arm.

A minute passed then two, then three.

As Kevin began to feel a yawn coming on, he decided to interject. "Uh, guys, any time-"

"**AHA!" **

In the breadth of time it took the young host to interrupt them, both had sprung into action without warning and began to charge at each other while loudly shouting!

When the distance was closed, their blades met while emitting a resounding ***CLASH***!

Quickly spinning as he forced his blade off of Rob's katana, Rob thrust his blade towards Harold's side…only for the katana to appear in between the combat knife and Harold!

Using the longer length of his blade, Harold drew his blade upward. With Rob's arms forced above his head, Harold drove his blade into Rob's belly…only to meet the knife!

For over three minutes, the two warriors became a bizarre ballet of flashing metal as they continued to whirl around each other and only finding their rival's blade blocking them.

Both were focused on the thrill of the combat, the pleasures of a worthy challenge. The borders of the duel were proven by the struggles between the two. Harold was faster with his blade but Rob's military training was better suited for such close quarters combat.

For most of the duel, neither was aware of the motions and almost dance-like exchange.

But then one of them noticed this and developed an idea on the fly amidst the fighting.

With a precision that would shock the audience who would only after the match discover it, one of the warriors began to attack in ways that slowly forced his opponent to move.

Too occupied with blocking his rival's blows and landing his own, the second warrior didn't notice that his opponent was slowly bringing him to the edge of the fighting ring.

Every exchange of cold steel brought him closer to the edge, and closer, closer, closer.

So engrossed with getting the upper hand, the fighter being moved primed his blade. He took a step behind him for the position needed to the strike. But his foot found nothing…

"Gosh!" The opponent who had been moved yelled in shock as he fell out of the ring. Just barely realizing what had happened, Harold found himself sitting on the ground.

"Wow! What a match! Despite a valiant effort, Harold has been rung out! Rob wins!" Kevin announces.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Oh man, ***pant*** I haven't had a workout ***pant*** like that in a while! I knew he would be good with that katana but I wasn't expecting him to match me blow for blow for so long." Rob says, obviously out of breath before inhaling deeply and exhaling roughly.

"I look forward to seeing what else you're capable of, my good man." Rob salutes the camera with a voice much more composed before quickly before getting up to leave.

(Static)

"I can't ***pant*** believe I ***pant*** forgot about the ring." Harold is a good deal more than out of breath as his chest inflates and deflates comically. "At least ***pant*** it was fun!" Finished saying his piece, Harold fell backward and out of view of the camera.

(Static)

"Now that was an interesting match." Chris says genuinely, despite the deceptive nature of the Comedy mask.

"I would have taken the katana myself but I consider it to be a little too overpowered. I lose myself whenever I yield the handheld guillotine..." Chris pauses for a moment, his gaze shifting slowly to his left. He shakes his head lightly as he laughs, seeming to remember where he was.

"Anyway, seeing Harold going toe to toe with the ex-military dog was just as revealing as unexpected. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I hear my mother calling me. SHUT THE FUCK UP, MOM, I HEAR YOU!" In a quick motion, he rose from his seat and swept his cloak over the camera's lens as he left.

(Static)

"Okay, I'm happy Doris lost and all, but I was really hoping for more of a slaughter than an overtake." Duncan complains to the camera with his arms crossed over his chest. It appeared that he'd recovered a bit, but remained suspiciously still. "Even if we lose, he won't get many votes. Oh well. Now I just gotta hope I don't have to go up against Rob myself, there's no way I could move fast enough to avoid him."

Almost as if to highlight his point, Duncan proceeded to sit up slowly, causing him to make various sounds of pain.

(Static)

"Looks like the distribution of muscle in this game is more even than I thought." Jay admits in a contemplative tone. "Rob said it himself; it's about how you handle yourself. Harold might not be a bad choice for my alliance after all. I'll just have to wait and see."

(Static)

"Ooh, I'm so proud of my sugar baby!" Leshawna gushes, despite her ex-beau's loss. "If he can hold his own against someone with military training maybe the other boys'll finally stop layin' into him all the time?"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Our next match won't likely be quite as action-packed," Kevin began with obvious doubt in his voice, "but Dawn, go ahead and pick a Cyborg or Polygon contestant to fight."

Dawn had taken the time that previous fight had been going on to decide whom she should choose. She considered each of the individuals carefully based on the day and some tough decisions, knew where she was going to start.

"I choose Katie." Dawn says with no hesitation. Some people gasped while others nodded their heads in understanding. Even though Katie was taller, she was just as physically inept as Dawn.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I greatly dislike violence, but this is an organized contest and not a brutal test of strength." Dawn says with a kind of steely determination she rarely shows. "My team does need the win and there are ways to win without having to lay a blade on Katie. And as odd as it seems, this is something I feel I have to do."

(Static)

"I don't want to hurt poor little Dawn, but my team needs the win. Maybe she'll accept an offer to forfeit?" Katie says, sitting alone and worrying about the prospect of having to hurt the wonderful little girl.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 2: MATCH #2:** **Dawn (****French Arming Sword: thin, double edged blade)**** vs. Katie** **(KA-BAR Combat knives: obvious really)!**

Katie stood in the center of the arena, waiting for signs of the moonchild. After an appropriate amount of time to change, Dawn approached the arena fully suited up.

"Seriously, how the blazes does she do that?" Kevin asked the camera. "Anyway, begin!"

"Hey, so like, do you think you might wanna surrender?" Katie asked, still hoping that Dawn would see reason.

"This is a competition." Dawn retorted fluidly, not missing a beat. "I can't just give up. But you could." Her voice was low, as if she were whispering despite the distance between them. "Unless you're afraid of someone thinking you're a coward."

Katie was momentarily confused, but suddenly DJ's face flashed across her vision and all Katie could think about was what he would think of her if she lost, much less gave up.

This caused a seldom-lit fire to instantly blaze in her stomach, and she finds herself unaware of her actions. She charged straight at the moonchild in a blind rage, swinging both down vertically where both of Dawn's shoulders were! Uh...should have been?

Katie's knives sliced through thin air as she lost her balance and slid from her momentum. She caught herself with her hands behind her and flipped around onto her knees. She looked up at Dawn, as she got up to charge again while the offending female stood stock-still.

The Moonchild had earned her reputation time and again, only ever truly being tripped up by vile manipulators and wild cards. As such, she could walk through a crowd of people and tell you each one of their hopes and dreams, their fears and doubts, and exactly where to push them. Most of the time a push in the wrong direction will severely damage someone, but other times a light push in the right direction could open people to new opportunities. These were all things Dawn understood naturally, from the day she was born, and this knowledge had served her well all her young life. She had gotten into few fights in her day but enough to know how to handle herself (who knew helping strangers could result in angry girlfriends seeking revenge).

Using her aura reading abilities, Dawn was able to draw Katie around the stage in a frenzied haze. As she approached the edge, she knew what she had to do. She positioned herself directly before a ledge and awaited Katie's final dive. She ducked at the last minute, and slid on the grease to safety as the desperate the thin BFF flew off the edge.

"Another ring out! I was not expecting that level of determination." Kevin admits. "From either party, but that's a quality needed to survive this show and maybe win this show."

Katie is still in a slump on the ground, unable to move due to her shame at having been defeated. Dawn seemed to float down to her, and placed her hand on the taller girl's shoulder. It felt as if she was touching Katie's mind as she spoke, "I'm sorry I had to put you through that. But look."

At this, Katie looked up in time to see none other than DJ rushing up to her.

"Katie! Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, offering her his hand. She took it reluctantly and stood to face him.

"I'm fine, but I lost." Katie admonished herself with a cute little pout. A tear began to drip from her eye and DJ caught it with a finger as he cut her off.

"You tried your best. That's all that counts." Katie looked into his eyes at that, shocked and more than a little touched by the sentiment.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Katie and Sadie were sitting in the Confessional together once again.

"Wow Katie! You put up one hell of a fight!" Sadie cheers her friend inside the view of the camera.

"I'm just glad I didn't end up disappointing DJ." Katie admits absent-mindedly.

"Wait, why would DJ be disappointed with you?" Sadie asks incredulously. The BFFs stared at each other for a moment, before the feed was cut.

(Static)

"Katie really gave it her all!" DJ exclaims excitedly for the camera. "She's not the kinda lady you'd want to piss off. Just like Momma." Despite the slightly skeevy underlying meaning behind his statement, DJ is merely staring longingly into space.

(Static)

"Sometimes, you just got to do what you got to do." Dawn says with finality.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"And now we get to the meters that determine who will chose their opponents for this round. The producers have chosen which fights they enjoyed watching the most. Some placed more value on how fast it was finished while others held entertainment value higher. The remaining deciders of the duels will be a mixture of the fastest and fanciest." Kevin says before adding, "The first pick, on the fancier side, is Erebus! Please choose!"

"That is a difficult choice because many Polygons and Avatars have skills worthy to see. But, after much internal struggle on my part, I choose the startling wonder that is Staci." Erebus says, smiling a smile that was both comforting and intimidating at the same time.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"It was truly hard deciding whether it would be Staci or Ari who would be going down. Maybe I'll have the chance to destroy the one left not picked by me in the third round?" Erebus says.

(Static)

"So, yeah, this is gonna be a tough match. Chris was unpredictable but Erebus is good. And by good I mean scary good, like cutting down a tree with a herring kind of good! Actually, my great, great, great grand-" Staci starts to say before the audio cuts off.

(Static)

"These might be the two best fighters in the tournament. Sadly unless they both lose now, the Avatars are going to have a very hard time when having to fight either of them later." Mary says.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 2: MATCH #3:** **Erebus ****(Custom made Cane-sword)** **vs. Staci****(French Rapier)!**

The two unlikely rivals stared each other down as the short and plumb Staci prepared herself for her fight against the tall and muscular Erebus. However, both were eager.

"You both ready to go?" Kevin asks. The two nod. "Then let the badass-ness begin!"

Choosing to ignore any banner, the two charged at each other and readied themselves.

Staci at the last moment ducked and rolled while using the grease to give her extra push. Shocked by this sudden shift, Erebus received a few rapier slashes to his side and back. Quickly spinning around with his own blade, Erebus landed a hard sneak attack to Staci.

As Staci was knocked to the ground by the force of the strike, Erebus leapt above her. Seeing this with just enough time to react, Staci rolled slightly to his right hand side. When Erebus landed, he couldn't react fast enough to prevent Staci from striking his legs. The Chatterbox had hit Erebus' knees and he slightly buckled under his own weight. Taking full advantage of this opportunity, Staci slashed Erebus over two dozen times.

Amid the seemingly endless slashes, Erebus had forgotten about his sword for defense. Without thinking about it, Erebus uppercut Staci with a powerful punch, launching her into the air. Seeing this, Erebus got an idea while Staci stood up and charged him again.

It was clear that both he and Staci were more or less equals in speed and technique. But Erebus had two major advantages over Staci, his muscular build and his superior height.

"Now that your skill at the duel has been shown as worthy. I will show you no mercy!" Erebus says with renewed vigor.

With his legs crouched, Erebus maneuvered around Staci with shocking speed. Before the Chatterbox knew what hit her, Erebus had wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground. She found that his arms were like mighty pythons slowly crushing her body.

As she felt the force of Erebus' muscles on her body, Staci heard her bones starting to crack. She knew that unless she acted fast she would lose consciousness in a few minutes.

Then she had an idea. With all of the strength she could muster, Staci forced her rapier into Erebus' stomach. Even though the actually damage was minimal, the strike took Erebus by surprise and he loosened his vice-like grip of a bear hug.

Taken instant advantage of this, Staci slammed one of her fists right into Erebus' face! Then, while Erebus was dazed, Staci stood on his broad chest and punched his face just as hard with her other fist! While he fell, Staci pushed off of his chest with a double kick!

Staci then rolled off of the falling Machiavellian Poet she grabbed her rapier and lunged. To her only partial shock, Erebus was already standing and was approaching her as well.

The blades of the two fighters clashed again and again as neither could land a solid strike. Though their bodies were starting to tire, their drive for battle remained as strong as ever.

After several minutes of parry meeting parry and strike meeting strike, Erebus realized that this approach wasn't going to work before he became too tried to fight anyone else.

The Machiavellian Poet devised another idea, once again using his greater muscle mass.

"Though your abilities with a blade are very admirable I do hope that you can plainly see." Erebus started to say with a smirk as he suddenly charged Staci without his sword.

Shocked at seeing the sight, the Chatterbox didn't react quick enough to stop Erebus from grabbing her neck. Being much taller and stronger physically, he lifted her into the air. Looking into her dark blue eyes, Erebus grinned in satisfaction while finishing with, "That your skills are no match for me!"

With that, Erebus threw Staci across the arena and sent her flying past the other edge.

"Even though that's the third win by ring out in a row, I don't care. That was awesome! Amazing work, both of you! But, rightly earning his victory, Erebus is the winner!" Kevin announces.

Erebus than rushed over to Staci, who was struggling to stand up, and gently, grabbed her arm. Helping her stand up, Erebus looked at Staci with a smile unbelievably genuine.

"I hope you can forgive me for acting like such a violent thug. To reward you for your skills, please allow me the honor to give you a much gentler hug." Erebus says warmly.

With that, Erebus wrapped his arms around Staci once again, this time being far gentler. Also being different was how Staci was standing and only came up to Erebus' stomach. For some reason, Staci's entire face was as red as rose while a massive smile appeared.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Staci was the worthy challenge I had hoped she would be. And in the next round, it will hopefully be the same case with Ari." Erebus says, very proud of himself and Staci.

(Static)

"So yeah, I lost but I don't mind. I've proven my worth to my team, thus not being eliminated first again. And as, like, a bonus, I got a tight, long hug from a super-hottie! And, I…uh, I like…I felt **it **on my chest. And it was big!"Staci says with a huge blush.

(Static)

"I think E-bus is the only guy I know of who can beat the ever living poop out of a girl and still look like a gentleman." Owen says.

(Static)

"Izzy's now a little sad about not fighting anymore. Izzy wants a fight and tight hug from E-be Jeebe! Izzy thinks she knows why Staci was blushing." Izzy exclaims with a blush.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Very diplomatic of you Erebus. But now we move on to the next fight. While it her choice, I think I have a pretty good idea of whom the next person will choose to fight. Let's see if I'm right. Who would you like to fight next…Giavanna?" Kevin asks.

Without a second of hesitation, Giavanna says with burning resentment, "Jo!"

"I thought so. Why do I feel like this will be a brutal grudge match?" Kevin comments.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"That's likely because it is. I'm sure I'm going to hate myself for this once it's done but I have no choice. Jo was far crueler to Nise than she had any right to be. She **MUST PAY!"** Giavanna says, her lowered face showing green eyes brimming with wrath.

(Static)

"So Thunder Thighs is having a hissy fit with me, uh? Fine by me. She may be bigger, but I doubt that she's tougher. How tough could a near supermodel like her be anyway?" Jo says, unconcerned with fighting the gigantic and enraged redhead.

(Static)

"I have some skills at reading people like the books with bodies and mental disorders that they are but that wasn't needed to see what Gia has got. She's got a murder boner for Jo!" Chris exclaims, his voice was somewhere between excited and concerned.

(Static)

"Why do I feel like Giant Girl is about to sign Jo's death warrant in this whole season?" Duncan asks worried.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 2: MATCH #4: Giavanna (****Scottish Broadsword: large double-edge sword****) vs. Jo (****Highlander Claymore: extremely long and heavy double edged blade****)! **

Giavanna and Jo stared at each other angrily, almost ready to begin before the fight did.

"I can tell that you two are so into it that I don't even need to ask if you are ready to begin. So I'll skip that step and simply say…BEGIN!" Kevin says, starting the next duel.

The two titanic ladies didn't need any more encouragement as they charged each other. The two large swords from Scotland slammed together, rupturing the sound barrier!

The force of the collision startled all watching but that was just this duel's beginning. Remaining in as close quarters as their blades sizes would allow for effective strikes, Giavanna and Jo attempted to hack their opponent down as through sheer brute force!

This level of intensity continued for several minutes without letting up even once.

Almost happening too fast to be seen, the clashes between the two massive swords were practically ripping the air apart with their constant and thunderous clanging together! Nearly every time their swords met, the result sounded like a small but lose explosion!

In some ways, the powerful blows between Giavanna and Jo were causing this fight to be the most spectacular of the fights so far shown. For some, it was because they were two of the most physically powerful contestants fighting each other with the largest weapons. For others, it was because they were attacking each other with an equal ferocity not yet seen in any of the pervious fights. But there was also another reason that was less noble.

You see, given the effort that the two teenage girls were displaying and the tightness of the Dragonscale armor, their figures were being shown to a degree almost as extensive as if they had been wearing small bikinis. Of the two fighting, Giavanna showed the most. Many sets of eyes were drawing towards the bouncing of her behemoth breasts or the almost painful for her tightness of the fabric on her backside. Despite themselves, both Noah and Damian couldn't take their eyes off of the Tall Bombshell or stop drooling.

Had Giavanna realized this, she may have found her efforts softened…but she didn't. With an intensity that was shocking even to her, Giavanna was driven to destroy Jo. However, she soon realized that Jo was one of the few who her brute alone couldn't stop. Instead, Giavanna would also need the aid of two other great allies, her knowledge of the human body and Jo's pride.

When both of the furious females stopped for a few moments to catch their breath, Giavanna shocked Jo and everyone else by driving her broadsword into the arena. Smirking, the Tall Bombshell did a hand gesture, inviting Jo to proceed with her attack. She hoped that the Jockette would take this as an insult, with the Tall Bombshell implying that she didn't need her sword to beat her, and charge towards her in anger.

With an angry shout, Jo took the bait and began to prepare her sword for a running slice.

Jo lunged forward but Giavanna was able to move to the Jockette's right out of the way. While still running forward, Jo found the part of her front lower right shoulder hit by a light punch. Once she was behind Jo, Giavanna delivered a slightly stronger punch to the lower back of that same elbow. Jo barely felt either blow to her right elbow.

"What was that? That almost tickled. Are you getting tired Thunder Thighs?" Jo says with a nasty smirk, believing that she was finally wearing down the mighty opponent.

Giavanna formed a smirk of her own as she said, "That was the nerve cluster in your right deltoid. It might not have hurt but trust me, you won't be moving that arm for a while."

Almost as if timed to prove Giavanna right by some cosmic cue, Jo's Two-Handed Highlander Claymore fell out of her right hand. The shocked Jockette examined her right arm. Then Jo realized why barely felt either blow…she could barely feel her right arm! It had been rendered numb and useless, no matter the resolve and drive burning within Jo.

"I hope you see that you've been beaten Jo. That sword is used with two hands, not one. You can end this match right here and now. All you need to do is apologize to Nise." Giavanna says while she pulled her Scottish Broadsword out from the fighting arena. She was partially happy about being near the match's end and Jo's surrender and apology.

However…

"Forget it Thunder Thighs! I'll never apologize to that pathetic little geek…or anyone!" Jo barks while picking up her Claymore with her left hand. "Even with just one hand, I will still defeat you! You'll be crying your pretty green eyes out, just like Baby Rattle!" The defiant cutthroat adds with emphasis and a savage smile at remembering Nise crying.

Giavanna watches the Jockette with an expression somewhere between pity, acceptance, and gratefulness. "You really are pathetic, you know that Jo? You think that by tearing others down, you build yourself up. You're so arrogant and vain that you can't humble yourself. I wish I could say I regretted being able to humble you but that would be a lie."

Her anger flaring, Jo charges at Giavanna at a speed stunning the Tall Bombshell. Dazed by how fast Jo was running towards her, Giavanna is caught off guard by Jo's attack. With microseconds to react, the Tall Bombshell just barely dodged a strike to the head. But then Jo drove her blade into the arena and grabbed Gia's head with her left hand. Not reacting quick enough thanks to dodging the blade, Giavanna found her face being forced violently towards Jo's raised and waiting left knee! The crunch was loud and sickening.

The Tall Bombshell staggered back, dazed by the forceful strike to the face. But she regained her composure as Jo struggled to pull her blade out with her one good hand.

Right when she does, Giavanna's Scottish Broadsword hits the Claymore with such force that Jo is pushed back. If only the Jo could've known the fury about to be unleashed.

Despite her great anger, Giavanna had been holding back, knowing her own strength. She matched Jo blow for blow, she disabled her painlessly, and she offered her the chance to end this with a simple and warranted apology…and the Jockette continued unchanged.

She would receive no more mercy from Giavanna, nothing would be held back anymore!

As Jo was still stumbling back, Giavanna charged at her running at full speed. Once she was right next to Jo, the Tall Bombshell cleaved her broadsword at Jo's right flank. The sound of the collision was crippling, smaller cracks could be heard within the crash!

Giavanna had broken a few of Jo's ribs! A second strike to her left side broke more! In just two strikes with her Scottish Broadsword, Giavanna had broken eight of Jo's ribs!

Despite the pain, Jo did not submit, she couldn't admit the obvious defeat. The Jockette continued, though she could barely lift her sword that was cumbersome for one hand.

Still consumed by her fury, Giavanna brought her Scottish Broadsword upon Jo's left arm. The air was torn by the loud ***CRACK*** of Jo's left arm being broken in one strike!

Finding the pain finally too much for her normally unstoppable will to take, Jo collapsed. She was still conscious but she couldn't move both arms and her sides were in pain.

Giavanna made a quick stab to Jo's heart, ending the match. But she wasn't done yet.

Finding inspiration from _Dante's Inferno _(a personal favorite of hers), the Tall Bombshell decided to use the idea of _contrapasso_…having Jo suffer as she made Nise suffer earlier. With that in mind, Giavanna pulled off Jo's mask, lifted her into the air by her short dark-blonde hair, and punched her in the bare face as hard as she could with her other hand!

Similar to earlier with Nise, the ***CRACK*** rendered everyone watching speechless!

Kevin immediately called for an ambulance to bring Jo to the hospital. He might have disqualified Giavanna if not for what the Jockette had done to Nise in the first round.

Even if he did, Giavanna wouldn't have heard him. The Tall Bombshell walked off the platform with her broadsword dragging and her face looking disgusted with herself.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

The Tall Bombshell's head is seen; her neck is bending over like a withering flower and her face as a massive frown on it.

"May I proud of what I did? No. Am I glad to have made Jo pay for hurting Nise and making sure that she couldn't hurt anyone else? Yes. Will I forfeit in the next round? Maybe…***sniff***…maybe…" Giavanna says, sounding deeply defeated and ashamed.

(Static)

"I've seen some real cutthroats and hard-cases in juvie but I've never seen anything like that! I never thought I'd say this but I'm actually scared shitless by such a super-hottie!" Duncan says, displaying an almost uncharacteristic level of fear in his voice.

"She might be a bitch but Jo is one tough as nails of steel level bitch! When the other returning players first arrived, she was one of the few who I thought was an actual threat. And despite that, one of the "nice" rookies wiped her off the map and possibly this whole season with shockingly little effort considering whom we are talking about here!"

(Static)

"Damn, I mean…damn! Who knew that tall and beautifully endowed could be so brutal? Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, mind you. It was rewarding to see Jo suffer!" Jay says, smiling to a degree that is sickening.

After a few seconds of remembering Jo's punishment, his expression becomes serious. "But don't think that I've forgotten what she did to Melody. She will pay dearly for that. If things go the way I hope they will, I can get started on that before the third round."

(Static)

"I knew Giavanna's aura was brimming with a desire for vengeance but I wasn't excepting such a vicious display from her since in many ways she is so nice and noble. In addition to Joseph and Nise, I'm worried that Giavanna is in need of help." Dawn says.

(Static)

"Believe me, I know that Jo got what she deserved, but still, I'm deeply shocked. Was that the same girl who cheered for me after I defeated Justin?" Noah says, truly unsure.

(Static)

"I don't know what's stranger, Gia's violent outburst or the fact that I found it hot?" Damian asks, somewhere between turned on and horrified.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Alright. Now that you've hopefully recovered enough from that shocking display, let's move on. Thankfully were over the halfway point of the second round. The next person to choose whom they will be fighting is Mary. Please pick a Cyborg or Polygon to fight." Kevin says.

Surveying the three people from the other two teams, Mary made her choice. "Duncan!"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Why did the girlfriend of the Jesus Wacko choose me?" Duncan asks with confusion.

(Static)

"I might not like fighting but there are those who deserve punishment for their sins. With his actions during World Tour, no one is more deserving of punishment than Duncan." Mary says, her calm voice betraying her level of disgust for Total Drama's criminal.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 2: MATCH #5: Duncan (****Kilij: heavy, long razor sharp sword****) vs. Mary (****Cruciform: double edged sword with a crucifix shaped hilt****)! **

The two opponents, who couldn't be more different in personality and moral views, appeared to be both ready for a long and epic battle between their different views.

Kevin, partially because he wanted to see Duncan get wrecked, started the fight quickly.

Mary charged, her convictions propelling her forward as if they were tanks of rocket fuel!

Ready for their blades to meet, Mary shut her eyes as she ran towards him at full speed!

But she ran and met nothing, no other blade…no resistance from Duncan?

Right when she was going to open her eyes, she found her herself falling a short drop.

Shocked, Mary opened her eyes and discovered that she was out of the dueling ring. She looked at those watching who were dumbfounded and she thought it was because of her.

However, she then noticed that they were all not staring at her but at the arena. Duncan was on the ground, knocked out cold. Mary wouldn't learn the details until later but it appeared as if the moment that Mary closed her eyes that Duncan had collapsed. Even though she technically was ringed out, since Duncan passed out first she won the match.

To say everyone was shocked would have been a colossal understatement.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"The Lord works in mysterious ways." Mary says with a shrug of her shoulders.

(Static)

"It sucked to lose to him but me making Duncan collapse later is almost as good, yo!" Greg says being pleased with how his struggles took down Duncan eventually.

(Static)

"Wh-wha-what…what happened?" Duncan says before slipping into unconsciousness.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"My mind's still reeling from that one. Ari, pick an Avatar or Cyborg to fight, please." Kevin says, keeping it brief because of his shock of how the previous match ended.

The Ninja simply pointed at who he/she wanted to fight…he/she had picked Solita.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"Wow, do I feel outmatched. But if I lose it doesn't matter. The grease that I put onto the fighting arena means that no matter who goes home, it will be the first of my long tally." Solita says.

(Static)

"I'd bet a hundred bucks that this fight lasts less than 10 seconds. In fact, I'll time it!" Harold says with confidence in Ari's abilities as he reveals a watch under his sleeve.

(Static)

Ari simply moves his/her finger along his/her throat, proclaiming Solita's defeat.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 2: MATCH #6: Ari (****Ninjatos: Shorter version of the katana****) vs. Solita (****Khanda: double-edged long sword without a point at the end****)! **

The two fighters were in the arena; their eyes were locked, ready for whatever may come.

"Begin!" Kevin announces without any build up.

Solita ran right for Ari and wildly swung her Khanda blade trying to end this quickly.

With seemingly no great effort, Ari dodged all of the attempted strikes from Solita. With a speed shocking the Orphan, Ari got behind her, grabbed both of her arms, and forced one of her Ninjato blades right at her heart. Ending the match without breaking a sweat.

"And bringing us our second less than a minute victory in a row…Ari is the winner!" Kevin says.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"That went well as excepted. But, as I've said, it's the body count at the end of the day that matters." Solita states matter-of-factly, arms crossed.

(Static)

Harold is checking his watch saying, "9.15 seconds! Make me wish I had bet. Gosh!"

(Static)

"I'm very glad Solita lost but I wanted Ari to abuse her a-little, ya know wha' I mean?" Anna Maria says, disappointed that the Orphan's defeat was so quick and painless.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Now then kiddies, it's time for the last fight of the second round to begin!" Kevin exclaimed excitedly, invigorated by the prospect of being that much closer to the end. "And as there are only two remaining fighters who have yet to step up for a second time, the last fight of round two will be between Noah and Jay!"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Okay, I got through my first fight with no small amount of luck and quick reflexes." Noah says, wielding his Kopis sword, getting more accustom to its weight and balance. "Jay will likely be harder than Justin but as long as I keep my distance I should be fine."

(Static)

"Finally, I get to put that Egghead in his place!" Jay shouts toward the camera, a wicked smile adorning his face. "Honestly, while pissed off at Justin for screwing up royally, this might be a better turn of events. Noah was whom I've wanted to fight anyway, to break him. That old saying is very true. If you want a job done right, you gotta do it yourself."

(Static)

"Oh please let Noah not be sent to the hospital! I know I've said that already but since Jay's last opponent ended up there, I think my concerns are valid!" Giavanna exclaims in worry as her face is above the camera's sight but her hand is seen fidgeting with her hair.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 2: MATCH #7: ****Jay (Kukri: extremely sharp curved blades) vs. Noah (Kopis Short Sword: Slightly-curved iron sword)!**

"So, are you ready?" Kevin asked the two determined contestants who stood facing each other, their weapons sheathed.

"I bet Noah thinks he is." Jay says off-handedly, eyeing his victim confidently.

"You're wrong, I **know **I can beat you!" Noah retorted instinctually, surprising himself more than anyone else.

"Strong words Noah. Let's see how valid they are. Begin!" Kevin exclaims.

Unsheathing his Kopis short sword as quickly as he could, Noah charged at Jay.

One of the Puppetmaster's Kukri blades blocked Noah's Kopis short sword. However, beginning his plan, Jay pretended to fumble back, as if greatly affected by the attack.

Taking the bait, Noah launches another attack, which also Jay pretends to be affected by.

Seeing the further encouraging signs without seeing Jay's depictions, Noah continued. The Puppetmaster pulled Noah's strings for another six strikes before changing tactics.

Jay parried the next two attacks from Noah while the third was blocked. However, this time, at strike number ten, Jay stood his ground and brought his face close to Noah's.

"You think you know that you can defeat me, but what do you really know, Noah?" Jay asks arrogantly, keeping his voice so low that only he and Noah can hear it.

The typically rational young bookworm found himself becoming enraged by the charge. With it being one of the few things he clung to, few things got Noah madder than insulting his intellect. Almost despite himself, the Bookworm continued to attack Jay.

Noah was throwing everything he can Jay while Jay himself isn't even attacking, he's just blocking and parrying. Noah tries a heavy overhead slash, which Jay blocks overhead.

"Wow, nice job for actually making me put some in some effort, it's a refreshing change of pace." Jay says, dripping with sarcasm.

Noah's starting to get sick of Jay's antics, so he kicks him, knocking him off balance for a second, but he jumps out of the way of Noah's sideways slash.

"How does it feel to have your tricks turned back on you, Noah?" Jay asks mockingly.

Noah grits his teeth as he says, "Shut it Mouthpiece!"

Noah says, as he slashes one, two, three times in quick succession, only for him to block again.

"Oh man! You're really making me break a sweat now! Is this the really the best you have?!" Jay exclaims, but only loud enough that he and Noah can hear it.

As planned, Noah lost his focus even more and became more frantic in his attacks. But now Jay once again changed tactics. Now he allowed the strikes from Noah to hit him.

The next five to ten strikes from Noah found their intended targets on Jay's body. The Bookworm was pleased, believing that he was finally starting to get the upper hand at last. But with Noah's pride in himself at its zenith, Jay began the final phase of his plan.

Until this point Jay had not attacked Noah physically and only attacked him indirectly psychologically. However, now the Puppetmaster was going to begin doing both, when Noah's pride was high, when it would be damaged the most from being torn down.

After their blades were together again and the two could feel the other's breath, Jay says, "Huh, No-ah? You must think that's an apt name for you, showing how much you **know**. You think you know a lot, but you don't. You allowed yourself to be voted off for not even taking part in the dodge ball challenge in TDI. Al got the better of you in TDWT. But those are examples of one thing you do **know**, isn't? Things never work out for you."

Blindsided by the words, Noah didn't react until one of Jay's Kukri blades hit his side. The pain snapped Noah out of it and he continued attacking with more resolve and anger.

Noah's attacks were more impassioned but they were less focused, less playing to Noah's strengths of observation and planning. His weak technique was now getting sloppy too.

"I must say that I never would have expected you to try so hard in something like this. Why is that? Why does your belly burn with an out of character desire to defeat me?" Jay says before developing a grin. "I think we both know exactly what the reason is. And I can't blame you, even with her height Gia is a perfect level ten hottie if I ever saw one."

Once again caught-off guard by Jay's words, Noah's attacks were devolving further. The Puppetmaster smiled as he blocked Noah's attacks and landed a few more of his own.

More out of luck than intention, one strike from Jay actually missed Noah. Even so, Jay didn't miss a beat, trying to turn even this small success into a way to hurt Noah further.

"Look who's more agile this time around…" Jay said in pseudo flattery before swinging his weapon at the Bookworm again. Again, Noah somehow ducked in time to avoid it as well. "Oh my, this must be the part where the physically superior and better trained yet arrogant brute gets careless and the beloved underdog pulls off a miracle victory…"

"Let's find out!" Noah says in a semi-shout of bitterness as he drives his Kopis blade at Jay. With all of his strength, Noah swings the short sword at the Puppetmaster. But Jay merely sneers and easily smacks away the bitter strike with one of his Kukri blades.

"Surely you can muster more…" The Puppetmaster mocked before adding to the insult with, "But if it makes you feel any better my arms are just starting to get a tiny bit sore."

Noah continued putting his all into the duel, but his efforts were not having any effect. Jay was becoming more constant with his attacks; one strike from Jay would be brought for every second or third from Noah. But unlike Noah's, Jay's were hitting their target.

"I never pictured you as much of a rom-com kind of guy Noah. But even so, I'm sure you secretly love the cliché where the geek gets the girl. But this isn't Hollywood, is it?"

"SHUT UP!" Noah almost shouted with his nerves being shot under the endless bombardment of Jay prying into matter that deeply scarred Noah's imagination.

While fending off Noah's attacks, Jay decided that it was time for the final psychological blow. "That's the irony of you, isn't Noah? You **know** so much but that knowing does nothing but cripple you into uninterrupted despair. You **know** that you are smart but not smart enough. You **know** how to read people but it's never helped you out obtaining real friends. You **know** a lot of information but it's never made you any happier or feel better about yourself. And no matter how much you **know** you'd love to have a girl like Gia, at the end of day after whatever struggles you endure you **know** you'll be just as alone."

That last part had finally done it. Noah's feet seemed to be glued to the ground, rendered motionless by the incredulous words. Jay had said out loud Noah's deepest, darkest fears.

Being exactly as Jay hoped he would be, Noah was struck by a strong strike from both of the Puppetmaster's Kukri blades, producing a loud, cringe-worthy snapping sound that shocked the audience to the core! Noah's Kopis sword had been knocked out of his hand.

"Ooh! That had to hurt!" Kevin remarked without thinking, earning murderous glares from some of those that heard him.

As Noah finally stood up after some effort, Jay delivered a nasty uppercut that sends Noah flying! The Bookworm came crashing down to the area, knocked out cold.

Ever quick to pick up on his question, Kevin quickly sprung into appropriate action. "Jay wins! GET THE STRETCHER, NOW!"

At his plea, two interns rushed to the scene and pulled the broken boy away. Jay smirked contently and tried to disguise that as he walked off of the fighting arena. Most didn't know what to make of what they had just seen from the previously cool Jay. However, three individuals in the audience had become livid with the Mohawked one's actions.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I think I made my point. I think I both broke the Bookworm and got back at his gargantuan fan girl for Mel." Jay gloats for the camera, his arms crossed over his chest. "Wait, I **know** I did! AHAHAHA!" Jay then smiles evilly "breaking people's minds never gets old for me" Jay states ominously.

(Static)

"I understand that some people feel the need to do whatever it takes to win," Dawn says betraying inner calm, "but that was way out of line!" At this her voice raises considerably, even taking on a slight growl. "As I have the first pick in the next round, I'm going to make sure Jay gets what's coming to him!"

(Static)

Giavanna is sitting in the confessional, her neck visible but no part of her face was. She was clutching the sheath of her Scottish Broadsword, with no small amount of effort. Seeming as though she meant to grind the object to dust, she ended up severely twisting it and leaving it unusable. She was clearly expressing her hatred for what Jay did to Noah.

(Static)

"I had my suspicions but that display by Jay just proved them! I think I know why Jay acted that way towards Noah and I'm disgusted by it! Once this challenge is over, him and me are going to have a little talk. It's time to set things straight." Rob says angrily.

(Static)

Noah is sitting in the Confessional chair, looking dopier than ever before with an intern on each side on him who is looking at with him concern.

"Hey man, I don't think we should be doing this." The intern on the right said, making sure Noah doesn't fall off the chair.

"But it's in our contracts, we have no choice." The intern on the left regrettably reminded him.

"Look at him! He can barely see straight let alone form coherent thought!" The right sided one countered, making a valid point.

Noah's head rolls from one shoulder to the other as he mumbles, "Did I path the teth?"

"Oh, you passed the test, buddy." The one of the left side assured him, deciding against prolonging the poor guy's suffering.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Kevin looks around, almost as if afraid of something coming out of nowhere to attack him as he speaks in a soft whisper, "Listen guys, after what happened at the end of the first round, I'm kind of paranoid. After all of the bloodshed, even if not exactly literal, I just want this nightmare of a first challenge to be over with and behind us. Anyway, I'm worried that once I start to say that we will be moving on to the next round that…"

Kevin's cellphone beeps once again. Without even looking at it, Kevin explodes in rage.

"FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOU! FINE! I won't even look at the bloody text! Despite this making me look like a lair, we will take a commercial break and come back. Once we do, I promise that this madness will be finished next time. If it's not, I'll be going so Joker on the producers' asses AND BEAT THEM WITH A CROWBAR! **(1)**"

Kevin does become calmer after a few second of heavy breathing, but not much more. "So tune in next to see either the end of this challenge or me being taken away in handcuffs after murdering this show's producers on…**Total Drama…What is Real!"**

* * *

**Dualists advancing:**

**Pummeling Polygons: Ari**

**Assaulting Avatars: Giavanna, Mary, and Dawn**

**Crushing Cyborgs: Erebus, Rob, and Jay **

* * *

**Side Notes:**

**1. Is a reference to the 1989 Batman story arc "A Death in the family" where the second Robin, Jason Todd is brutally beaten to near-death by the Joker with a crowbar, then trapped in an bomb-laden warehouse just for good measure. **

**This had a profound effect on the Bat because if he had arrived just a minute earlier, he would've been able to save Jason and his Mom.**

**His subsequent mental breakdown lead to the introduction of Tim Drake, the 3****rd**** Robin. Jason has since returned as the extreme vigilante Red Hood, and has his own ongoing series RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS, which I seriously recommend, it's one of the most entertaining Bat-Family titles out there! **

**Believe me, I know, Rufus knows, and CRRGL knows. This first challenge is taking forever! But look at it this way: me and the two other co-authors want to make this story the best we can and we all feel like we couldn't do that if we robbed you of the chance to see any of the fights.**

**We were going to make this the last chapter of the first challenge but we still have the following things to cover: six more fights, the elimination, a shocking reveal, and some vital fight aftermath. Putting that all here would be too much for anyone, so please show more patience, I can guarantee it will be worth the wait! ;)**

**Total Drama is property of Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV productions, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me; everyone else belongs to either Rufus T. Serenity or CRRGL. Basic Storyline and some later plot threads by CRRGL. **

**I also must thank my buddy Rufus. T Serenity for his most excellent edit and our old friend and partner re-newed CRRGL for his BONUS! Editing.**


	8. What is Real? Episode 3, part 5

**Co-co-Author's Note: Hello all! This is CRGGL, commenting directly on this fic for the first time. I'd like to address a comment made by NerdyBarista. You mentioned that you couldn't buy Dawn thinking Katie to be weak, which I agree with. Thing is, that train of thought was meant to come from the crowd, and your comment made me realize how vague my description was. I have a bad habit of leaving out important details, so I must thank you for helping me see the error I made. Now I'll leave you all with these words; real or not, things are rarely as they first seem.**

* * *

**Total Drama What is Real? Episode 3: At a blade's Edge (Part 5)…The End!**

* * *

"Are we back yet?" Kevin asks into his cell phone irately. Apparently he'd gotten into another friendly 'conversation' with the producers during the commercial. This is followed by silence before Kevin smashes the phone on the ground; obviously unhappy with whatever he had heard. "Someone get me a new cell phone!" He barked off-screen before turning back and breaking into a forced smile.

"And we are back! Before we continue, all of those who have required more extensive care: Melody, Nise, Mathieu, Owen, Leshawna, Damian, Nanon, Jo, Duncan, and Noah…goddamn that's a long list, are recovering well. None of them could be here in person but they will be shown the events that have happened and may comment on them. We tried to have them record some comments now but the results were…unsatisfactory." Kevin says before his face becomes one of fright at remembering the earlier attempts.

* * *

"_Come already girl! Just tell the pretty camera what you think of the fights so far!" A voice, from a cameraman, is heard saying in clear frustration at a dazed Melody. _

"_I HAS A BUCKET!" The Mirror Image shouted happily while holding an empty bucket. _

"_Get that away from her, will you!?" The annoyed cameraman asks someone off-camera._

_A person, an assistant to the cameraman, appears and tries to take away the bucket. Melody doesn't like the idea._

"_NOOOOO! YOU BE STEALIN' MY BUCKET!"_

* * *

"Anyway, with only six fights left to determine our winner, let's get right down to business. Dawn, with you still possessing Joseph's captain perks, would you be so kind as to choose your opponent?" Kevin says, returning his attention to the remaining duels.

Dawn gave her answer as she swiftly spat out, "Jay."

Jay himself looked a little stricken at first, but quickly composed himself as his gears started turning.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"So, the Moonchild has a penchant for indignation, does she?" Jay is seen leaning over the table in front of him, the fingers on his right hand drumming against it rhythmically. "I found it strange at first that she could be angry with me, but thinking back on that fight with Katie there's a good chance she got the gist of my little torture session with Noah."

Here he paused briefly, seeming to consider something. Then he breaks into an even, confident smile. "But it don't matter. From the very beginning, I knew that Dawn would be one of the hardest nuts to crack. Her powers combined with some distrust thanks to what happened with Scott last season make deceiving her much harder and her beloved status among most as Total Drama's angel makes anyone against her look like the devil. If I swing my sword or fist at her, my cover will be blown wide open on the first day. But I've seen her skills in action and I know just how to deal with goody two-shoes like her."

(Static)

"I know good and well the torment Jay put Noah through." Dawn admitted to the camera. "Not to mention how badly he injured poor Mathieu. And for what? To advance to the next round of this sadistic game? It's one thing to play to win, but it's another thing entirely to do whatever it takes to win."

(Static)

"I can't believe Dawn took away my right to crush Jay!" Giavanna is seen staring wide-eyed into the confessional camera, her teeth barred tensely. Then she takes a deep breath and visibly calms. "But it's alright, if Jay loses against Dawn, he loses. But if he doesn't, he'll be a little more tired and go down easier after I do finally get my hands on him."

(Static)

"Jay, if you're watching this and intend on actually hurting Dawn, there's someone who I'd just love for you to meet." Chris says casually, gesturing to the empty space to his left. "This is my good friend Karma. And guess what? She's a total bitch!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 3: MATCH #1:** **Dawn (French Arming Sword: thin, double edged blade) vs. Jay (Kukri: extremely sharp curved blades)! **

Dawn wastes no time positioning herself within the arena, eager to give the Mohawked one a taste of his own medicine. However, unbeknownst to her, he was thinking along the same lines, as shown by the cool demeanor with which he approaches his next bout.

"If both fighters are ready, then let the sparks fly!" Kevin announces from the sideline.

Both stare each other down for a short while, a raging fire behind the female's eyes and an icy chill behind the male's.

"What's wrong Jay? Afraid to make the first move?" Dawn was starting to become uncomfortable. Not only was she outside her element playing the antagonist, she also couldn't get a single reading from Jay. His aura was flat, neutral…almost perfectly gray.

"Oh no, nothing like that." He retorts, drawing his Kukri slowly as he spoke. He then changed his voice to make sure that it was low enough for only Dawn and him to hear. "I've figured out your little mind games and I'm not falling for them. In fact, I myself find them rather amusing. I can see why you like to play with people's emotions so much."

Dawn's face experienced a sudden twitch at his words and her hand flew to the hilt of her French Arming Sword. "Toying with a person's emotions is not right!" She shouts at him, poised to lung with her sword still sheathed.

"So what exactly is it that you do then?" Jay asks arrogantly, knowing full well that he'd just broken the camel's back.

Like a mongoose hoping to catch a snake, Dawn leaped straight for Jay, drawing her sword along the way and wielding it with both hands. She slashes at him directly down the center, only for him to easily sidestep her and give her the infamous Vulcan Nerve Pinch. Needless to say, the girl fell to the ground like a ton of bricks.

"And that's another easy win for Jay. With that, the last of the returning contestants falls!" Kevin says, subtly motioning for some interns to whisk the unconscious girl away.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"The Vulcan Nerve Pinch? While I can't say I'm happy about what happened to Dawn, that was so badass Jay!" Greg says, showing concern before switching to approval.

(Static)

"Interesting attack choice. Believe it or not, the Nerve Pinch might not just have been a plot device suggested by Mr. Nimoy. Some have suggested that it could be possible if the pinch applies pressure to the carotid sinus at the base of the human neck. This could cause the body to knock itself out in order to avoid having a lethal blood pressure. In fact I…" Harold says, starting off interesting but then devolving into a long and nerdy tangent that the camera cuts off before it can truly begin. **(1)**

(Static)

"Well, that was even easier than I expected." Jay laughs inside the confession booth. "Thank God I decided to read all those books about aura reading before this season began. Who knew such a sweet little girl could have that kinda 'righteous fury'. Ha!"

(Static)

"You better watch your back, Jay." Gia says calmly before adding, "Because if I get my hands on it, I juts might end up breaking it!"

(Static)

Chris is seen sitting in the confessional again. This time, instead of speaking he merely cracks his knuckles loudly.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Okay, that was surprisingly painless." Kevin admits to the camera that had just focused on him. He then adds under his breath, "for once" before speaking to the future audience again. "So let's keep this thing moving right along. Giavanna, I know you probably want to pummel Jay but right now he is ineligible. With that in mind, who would you like to challenge?"

Gia glanced around the group of teens, easily identifying the faces of those from which she had to choose. Since crushing Jay was her ultimate goal, she knew it would be wise to determine which would put up the least fight. After all, she might have the size advantage but Jay has shown multiple times on this day alone how adept he was at battle.

After considering the remaining three she had to choose from, she realized it would be most wise to choose based on their previous fights. But sadly, all of her choices had been proven as very skilled and capable fighters. However two were more so than the third. Erebus had shown excessive skill by ending his first match after allowing it to continue for sport, not to mention he'd taken out a trained fencer. Ari had not only beaten the insane Izzy, but he/she also felled Solita in seconds. This left Gia with only one option…

"I guess I'll pick Rob instead, then." There was little reaction from the peanut gallery, though some bore puzzled expressions.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Rob is certainly no slouch," Giavanna starts, seeming to have abandoned her chair in favor of not having to bend over, "but out of those left to pick from, he seems like he'd be easiest to overpower. Plus, he's truly virtuous, so he won't resort to possibly dirty tricks."

(Static)

"I was shocked at first that Giavanna would choose me." Rob tells to the camera. "Though, upon further consideration I realize that there weren't many people to decide on. Problem is…she's very big. I won't be able to muscle her around and my body is still sore from giving my duel with Harold my all. I should've planned ahead." Rob sighs and leans back in his chair, seeming to forget the camera all together clearly lost in thought.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 3: MATCH #2: Giavanna (Scottish Broadsword: large double-edge sword) vs. Rob (CRK 9-inch Combat Knife: self-explanatory)!**

"Well, I can honestly say there are few match-ups that are less balanced." Kevin comments light-heartedly, looking between Giavanna's large broadsword and Rob's compact knife. The two waited patiently for Kevin's ceremonious speech to end. "Let's see how it pans out. Start!"

At this, Rob took a fully defensive stance and began to slowly weave his way toward Giavanna, who remained rooted to the ground with her sword held at the ready before her. Their eyes never wavered from the others, as the distance between them slowly dissipated. As soon as the militant one got within her reach, the larger one took the first swing of the match, which had been fully anticipated by her opponent. Thanks to his practice with timing the speeds of weapons, Rob easily dodged the strike. Getting under the sword that was still being swung, he tried to end this match with a single stab to Giavanna's heart. However, her right arm in mid-swing unintentionally blocked it. Realizing this and with her arms still holding the sword, Rob stabbed her midsection a few times before quickly rolling out from under her as she brought her sword near her.

After backing away first, Rob tried to do a similar maneuver, this time from her side. Giavanna once again had her sword in mid-swing as the Sharpshooter tried to get to her heart. Because of the angle that Rob as at, this time her arms weren't blocking her heart. It was happened as Rob had counted on it happening the first time. However, what he hadn't counted on was her forethought to withhold power on the initial strike to bring the secondary strike faster and more efficiently. Instead of being presented with his shot at her heart, Rob was forced to block the Scottish blade with his dwarfed Combat Knife.

As he dodged several strikes from the Scottish broadsword, Rob had a sad epiphany. While Rob truly believed that size wasn't everything in a fight, he knew it could help. That sentiment referred to Giavanna and her blade, both were larger than Rob and his. Rob knew that a frontal assault was suicide with only a nine-inch knife to attack with. As the fight with Jo showed, two or three clean hits from that broadsword would end him.

But maybe he could attack the hands of Giavanna, making her unable to use the sword?

Positioning himself just right, Rob had the Scottish Broadsword collide with his knife. The two were solely focused on pushing at the other until the shock wore off for Rob. But there was more at work that last time. This time, while still pushing with all of his strength and both hands he started to slide his blade along the length of hers. His plan was to strike her hands with his knife before she could bring her big sword to bear upon him.

This caught Gia by surprise, but proved detrimental to Rob's efforts. Without thinking about it, the Tall Bombshell brought her free hand at his face on reaction alone!

Having been based solely in instinct, Giavanna's normal moderation was absent and there was a sickening sound as the agile teen's body began to fly through the air; and another as his head met the hard surface beneath him, rendering him unconscious!

"Wow, what a punch!" Kevin exclaimed as the match came to an end. To say that the sentiment was shared among the majority of the crowd would be an understatement. "Looks like the Knock-Out lives up to her reputation literally. Giavanna is the winner!"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Rob really caught me off guard with his little maneuver." Gia admits on tape, her elbows on the table supporting her lowered head. "So much so I didn't have time to think about my actions. I really hope that little scene won't make anyone think any less of me, any more than my conduct against Jo did, that is." The distress on her face is obvious.

(Static)

Cody is staring into the camera wide-eyed. "Who would've thought there was so much power behind those big yet dainty hands of hers?" At this a shiver visibly runs up his spine. "Boy, I'd hate to be Jay right about now."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Moving on, Erebus, you have a choice between fighting Mary or Ari? Who would you rather go toe-to-toe with in round three?" Kevin says with a smile, intentionally trying to make it rhyme for the rhyming teenager.

Chuckling a bit at the host for his flattering wording Erebus says, "With that noble effort of yours to address me in similar rhyme Kevin, you seriously flatter me. Now as for who I shall fight, while I mean Mary no disrespect, I must choose the very mighty ninja Ari!"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"No disrespect taken Erebus. But I wonder, what will happen to me since there's one else to fight?" Mary asks herself.

(Static)

"Even though I had earlier used the two words "Ari" and "three" in a rhyme, the sentiment behind Kevin's attempt was fine. And now with Ari, this is the real test of mine." Erebus says, smiling at the thought of fighting the Ninja who took down Izzy.

(Static)

Ari is seen but says nothing as he/she cracks his/her knuckles with his/her electric blue eyes showing eagerness for the fight through the eye opening of the Ninja mask.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 3: MATCH #3: Ari (Ninjatos: Shorter version of the katana) vs. Erebus (Custom made Cane-sword)! **

"Are you two ready to fight?" Kevin asks.

"I don't think myself or Ari have any deep, crippling fear of physical trauma. Especially when we can see who is the greater sword wielder in the annuals of Total Drama." Erebus says while drawing out his cane-sword.

Turning his head, Kevin sees that Ari was nodding his/her head while revealing his/her Ninjatos.

"Very well then…BEGIN!" Kevin shouts.

Without wasting any time, Ari immediately launched himself/herself at a shocked Erebus! While spinning like a missile, the Ninja landed many strikes on Erebus' body!

As the momentum of the launch and spin started to wear off, Ari attempted to push himself/herself off of Erebus' body with a double-footed kick. What made this "attempted" was that Erebus managed to grab one of Ari's feet before fully pushing off.

With Ari trapped momentarily in the confusion of what had happened, Erebus acted without pause. Holding the much smaller Ninja by one of its feet, the Machiavellian Poet both landed sword strikes while still holding Ari and using him/her as a partial human club by slamming him/her against the hard tile of the fighting arena.

After spinning around a few times to build up the force, Erebus strongly threw Ari! The Ninja would have slid right off the platform, if not for him/her using one of his/her Ninjatos to slow himself/herself down enough to be spared from being defeated by ring-out. Shocking everyone, Ari stood up and charged directly at Erebus undeterred.

Smirking in approval, Erebus matched the Ninja and charged directly at him/her!

Like so many before them, the two skilled sword-wielders' blades clashed violently!

Afterward they had an exchange of strikes whose number and length was unmatched by any of the previous matches and would be unmatched by any of the future matches.

The precision and timing of their strikes was breathtaking, as if they had planned this out. For over ten minutes the two, the swordsman and the ninja, met every blow from their worthy opponent with effective resistance. They were reduced to a perfect constant stalemate. No one watching dares to breath, leaving the only talking to be done by the blades as they clashed with an unmovable resolve matching the teenagers wielding them.

Ari had decided that this had gone on for long enough and devised a new plan of attack. Remembering the fights with Francisco and Staci, the Ninja remembered that Erebus was most vulnerable to unconventional attacks, to things not standard in a traditional duel.

Ending the almost endless exchange by jumping backwards, Ari charged Erebus again. But this time, the Ninja was not merely running, this time he/she was spinning his/her blades wildly as he/she ran. As was intended, for the second time Erebus was caught off-guard. He was forced into a purely defensive stance, focused on only blocking Ari's attacks.

Even with his extensive training in sword fighting, Erebus was truly taken aghast by this. The Ninja's blades were moving so wildly and so constantly that it was, to both him and those watching in a equal state of shock, as if his/her hands could rotate 360 degrees to form perfect circles that could mean his/her palms were where the backs of his/her hands should be one moment and then back in their proper position in the next!

Air was moving his/her arms so fast that there seemed to be a waiting Ninjato everywhere!

Even so, against all odds, Erebus endured this merciless attack and blocked every strike!

Again, Ari realized this and changed up his/her tactics for a second time. The Ninja lunged at Erebus with one of his/her Ninjato blades. Given the frantic nature of things, the Machiavellian Poet didn't notice that the other blade was thrown into the air. The first Ninjato blade was blocked. Using his/her free hand, Ari stood on it and used it to balance himself/herself while the same time kicking Erebus in the motion of turning towards him. With Erebus distracted by the kick, the spinning Ninja grabs the falling Ninjato blade with his/her free hand. Striking too quickly to be blocked, Ari landed a successful strike! The second Ninjato had been driven along much of Erebus' chest, but missed his heart.

Realizing this, Ari lunged at Erebus yet again in the same manner as at the start of the match, too wrapped up in the momentum of the fight to slow down or consider another action. Even in his tired state, Erebus noticed this and devised a new strategy of his own.

With Ari coming at him as if he/she were a spinning bullet, Erebus stood his ground. Right when the Ninja was about to make contact, Erebus sidestepped the human bullet!

In the rotation of his/her spin, Ari looked right at Erebus as he did this. The Ninja's electric blue eyes grew massive in shock and realization. He/she was helpless now!

Knowing this, Erebus punched Ari as hard as he could! The Ninja flew out of the ring!

After the sound of Ari hitting the ground outside of the ring was heard, there was only silence for a few moments. Until…

Everyone who was there to witness the fight burst into thunderous applause for the spectacle they just saw!

"YES! THAT'S THE KIND OF ACTION I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Kevin shouted in absolute happiness as he slowly walked towards Erebus. "Seriously, it's fights like that which almost make me glad that this is my first challenge as host. Honestly, I'm half considering getting an action movie made with half of you teens as the stars! But enough about my hopes…Ari, you truly were a marvel. However, Erebus, victory is yours!"

Though smiling, Erebus' muscular chest is heaving often and deeply. He walks his way over to Ari and helps him/her up.

"It was a honor to fight you Ari, you are the mightiest foe I have ever faced. Given how admirably you preformed, I truly hoped the furthest thing from your mind is disgrace." Erebus says with a massive smile while bowing to the Ninja.

Though his/her mouth was covered by black cloth, based on the way their eyes shined, it was likely that it was a massive smile as Ari bowed to Erebus, feeling in higher spirits.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"The effort which ***pant*** with which Ari attacked me was ***pant*** truly inspired. I only wish that ***pant*** it hadn't left me ***pant*** so tired." Erebus says with obvious difficulty.

(Static)

"I honestly can't remember the last time I lost against anybody in a sword duel." Ari says, though his/her gender was still unknowable thanks to the distortion of the voice. "But I'm not angered or saddened, I'm thrilled! Do you know how boring it has been to be so unchallenged in skill for so long? And my first day here, I find the two toughest people I've ever faced in Izzy and Erebus, not to mention likely worthy challenges in Rob, Giavanna, Harold, and Staci. Even if I was eliminated today, I would leave with a smile."

(Static)

"Um, Izzy, Ari, and Erebus together in a action movie? That's a movie I'd love to see! And the best part is that since Izzy was an actress, it might happen!" Carlyle exclaims.

(Static)

"After seeing Erebus beat Staci and Ari, me losing to him does not look so bad." Francisco says.

(Static)

"Izzy's view of E-be Jeebe has just got even better! Don't get Izzy wrong, Izzy likes and respects Ari but Izzy also knows how good Ari is. So for Erebus to win, Izzy knows more than most how amazing that is!" The Wild Redhead exclaims in approval.

(Static)

"This is kind of disheartening for me, even a mighty ninja couldn't save my team." Harold sadly says.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Well, what an epic way to officially reach over the semi-finals for this tournament, right?" Kevin says with as smile before his face become a little more serious. "But before proceeding I need to make a few announcements. Mary, since there's no one for you to fight who hasn't fought already, you will automatically advance into round four."

The reaction from the crowd was gasps and looks of surprise, especially from Mary.

"Ari, though you fought beautifully, you were the last of the Polygons. So it will be the Pummeling Polygons who will be the first team to eliminate a contestant from the show." Kevin says.

While Duncan looks horrified, the majority of the Polygons look shockingly ok with this.

Before Kevin mention his next point, one of the contestants, Greg, interrupts him. "Hey Kevin! If the Polygons are the ones sending someone out of the game, then why do we need to continue this tournament? Couldn't we end this thing right here and now, yo?"

"Good question Greg. And since that was my last point, I'll answer that right now." Kevin says before beginning to explain this final announcement to the contestants. "Firstly, I have a producer mandate to finish this tournament. And while I want this bloody thing over with, there is an incentive for you to want your team to win even though both the Avatars and Cyborgs are safe from elimination. To ensure that all three are always compelled to give every challenge their all, there's a new mechanic at work. Whichever team finishes first or does what is required to do the best in a challenge, will find that all of the team members on it at the time of the victory, regardless of what they did or didn't do to contribute to that victory, will be guaranteed **five hundred dollars** to be given to them after they are eliminated or added onto the two million dollar prize if they win. So, in theory, even if you're eliminated but your team got first place for a decent number of the challenges, you'll still have a nice amount of cash for all of your trouble. Obviously, the teams that end up in second place will be safe from elimination but will not get any bonus cash. Does that offer you incentive to continue with this tournament?"

No one could speak. But many nodded their heads with unblinking expressions of shock. A few people were even slightly drooling after hearing the unprecedented information.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I'm super conflicted about what has been revealed. On the one hand, it truly is the grace of God that Mary has so easily made it to the fourth round. But on the other, the already copious amounts of immoral greed are sure to spike after this new info." Joseph says.

(Static)

"We WILL win every single challenge from here to the merge... I WANT THAT MONEY! " Melody screams with determination, snapped out of her dazed state.

(Static)

"While the added money is nice... I'm very concerned about just how far some of my more greedy and cutthroat compatriots could possibly go to win." Dawn says worried.

(Static)

"Bonus cash... nice. Thanks Kev, I might actually be able to like you by the end of this season." Duncan says with a smile.

(Static)

"Thanks Kevin..." Noah says before adding with a face palm, "…for throwing meat to the sharks of this contest. They now smell blood... I hope I have a big enough harpoon to hold them off..."

(Static)

"Money as a motivator…" Chris muses, looking somewhere above the camera with his chin in his palm. "Now where have I heard that before…?"

(Static)

"So much…cash!" Jay exclaims, practically drooling. "As if I need anymore incentive to play these suckers for everything they've got..." He says with an evil grin. "Easiest paycheck I'll ever earn… and the biggest!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Now then, we are entering round four, with only four more fights to go. Giavanna, you pick who you fight next. But can I assume that you're going to choose Jay?" Kevin asks.

Giavanna simply nods her head before staring at Jay with a gaze that could melt metal.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"So Boobzilla won over Rob? So what? I had a thought that would happen. There are maybe one or two people who could win against Gia in a fair fight. But that's not an issue because I have no plans on this being a fair fight. A man's best offense is not his weapon, but his mind, and my mind is a living arsenal!" Jay says arrogantly while smiling evilly.

His expression turns to one of concern "But I was expecting it to go on for longer than that. I wanted Rob to wear her down as much as possible... but she barely flinched in taking Rob down, she's a lot quicker on her feet than I imagined." Jay says worried.

He shakes himself out of his self-doubt and starts to smile confidently as he says, "No matter! I'm still quicker, faster, plus I got her riled up at me real good... which means she will be fighting with less focus, while I am completely focused on bringing her down."

"She's not the only one with an intimate knowledge of human anatomy, and I will use all my skills, strengths, and knowledge, plus a couple tricks I have up my sleeve... there's no doubt in my mind, Giavanna will fall!" He states passionately, bringing up his hand, and curling it together in a crushing motion as he speaks.

"I've been waiting for this fight all day... lets see what you're truly made of Gia, and if you can dance with the Jayster... WHA-HOOO!" Jay exclaims as he rips out his Kukri blades and raises his arms in jubilation.

"BRING IT GOLIATH, FOR DAVID ALWAYS WINS!"

(Static)

"Jay, you've not only sent all three of your previous opponents to the hospital but two of them were personal favorites of mine…especially Noah! Expect no mercy from me Jay!" Giavanna angrily says, seeming like a different person from the one saddened after beating Jo.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 4: MATCH #1: Giavanna (Scottish Broadsword: large double-edge sword) vs. Jay (Kukri: extremely sharp curved blades)! **

"Are you two ready to go?" Kevin asks, on-edge by the expressions of pure hatred. Both nod their heads while their faces don't soften to any degree. "Then I say…BEGIN!"

The moment the words left Kevin's lips, Giavanna charged Jay like a speeding train! Her normally compassionate emerald eyes were blazing like the furnaces from some hell. The Scottish broadsword was being primed, ready to hit Jay with all the might she could muster. The Tall Bombshell swung the massive blade at the unmoving Puppetmaster!

Ducking just in time, Jay rolled in between Giavanna's long legs. While rolling, the Puppetmaster took a swipe at the shallow depression at the back of her left knee.

The Tall Bombshell buckled slightly under her own weight before standing back up. As Giavanna made another advance at Jay, he took note of what had just transpired

Jay saw the same problem that Rob had earlier; Giavanna was too strong an opponent to attack head-on. A few good strikes with her blade would render him unconscious. Also, because of needing to focus his attention on fighting, he couldn't get inside her head with hurtful words like he did with Noah. But there was another way to bring her down. Keeping true to his words, Jay planned on striking the Tall Bombshell at her most vulnerable spots to either cause her to slip into angry carelessness or bring her down.

As Giavanna came at him with an upward swing, Jay sidestepped it and then he did a great kick to her left shin. Again, the Tall Bombshell slightly buckled before continuing.

When she did a wide swipe from her wrist, Jay got under it and brought a Kukri strike to the pressure point of the wristlock of her right arm. As the pain briefly stunned Giavanna, Jay punched one of her massive breasts a few times as if it were punching bags.

After Jay had slipped away, the Tall Bombshell was even more fuming mad at Jay!

Charging Jay as if she were a wild rhino, Giavanna found herself receiving a strike to her left elbow after he easily dodged the attack.

Changing things up by attempting a low sweeping kick, Giavanna's only reward was a Kukri blade to her right shoulder after Jay had jumped above the low level attack.

While all of these strikes were painful to Giavanna, they weren't enough for Jay. He had really hoped that by this point she would be either defeated or extremely tired. Neither seemed to be the case, Giavanna was working through the pain without slowing down.

Even though Jay might have been the better swordsman in terms of technique, Giavanna had two major advantages. She was the overall better athlete with greater physical endurance and she was so angry with Jay that she was able to push aside the pain.

Jay was starting to tire; his plan wasn't working. Giavanna continued to fight.

Giavanna placed her Scottish broadsword in her left hand alone and she swung at Jay. Believing this was because he had rendered her right arm unless with that shoulder strike, Jay sidestepped it to her right. However, in his tired state, Jay failed to notice that her right arm, though for the moment in pain, was still useable.

He didn't discover this until her right fist slammed into his head at her full power! While this normally would have knocked Jay out, the hit to her right shoulder weakened her right arm enough to where it didn't knock him out. Despite that minor mercy however, the punch was still strong enough to mostly shatter his red goggles and greatly daze him!

Finally seeing her chance to bring her full, though now weakened, fury upon Jay, Giavanna proceed to do exactly that!

Forgetting about her sword for a few moments, Giavanna landed many powerful punches to Jay's body and a few to his head, protected by a weaker but still functioning mask!

The final punch sent Jay slightly flying a few inches. Despite the beating, Jay was already starting to stand up from the assault to continue the fight. Giavanna wouldn't allow that.

The Scottish broadsword was sent upward, cleaving Jay with its massive metal frame! The force of the strike was so great that Jay was actually forced into the air by it. While still in the air, Giavanna slammed one of her fists down on Jay's back as hard as she could! The Puppetmaster was sent crashing into the hard arena as if he were a meteoroid!

Giavanna stared down at Jay, waiting for him to get back up for more punishment. But he didn't. It seemed that Jay was finally knocked out.

Satisfied, the Tall Bombshell began to walk away from the unmoving Jay to leave.

As she did, Giavanna failed to notice that Jay, though on the ground, was no longer unmoving. With obvious difficulty, the Puppetmaster forced himself onto his feet. Before reaching for his Kukri blades, Jay ripped off his mask; he was bleeding too much to see through the goggles that were now a thick red, and not just because that was the lens' color. He forces himself up by his blades, and climbs to his feet, coughing up blood, looking a tad like Shane Walsh before his untimely death at The Walking Dead season 2's end **(2)**, cut and bleeding nose, plus a bloody mouth. **"I will… not "cough" lose… not like this" **he says as he wipes his all logic and reason telling Jay that he was beaten, he charged anyway. He was silent, hoping to catch Giavanna by surprise and stabbing her in her gigantic heart after shocking her with a powerful double bladed strike to her back facing him.

The gap between the slow moving Giavanna and nearly sprinting Jay was nearly closed!

But, unknown to Jay in his worked up state, Giavanna knew that he was charging her. With a single motion using one of her massive forearms moving as fast as her muscles could, Giavanna swung it at Jay right when his two Kukri blades would have reached her!

Worn down from at least two fights of great difficulty, both Kukri blades were shattered!

Reeling from the revelation of that, Jay was motionless as Giavanna stabbed his heart! The force of the stab from her Scottish broadsword was so great that Jay was sent flying.

Finally ending just on the edge of the platform, the Puppetmaster somehow stood up yet again. He smiles a bloody grin, and tries to say something… however before he can he falls off of the platform, collapsing into unconsciousness from exhaustion.

So Giavanna defeated Jay by destroying his weapons, stabbing his heart, ringing him out, and knocking him out all within thirty seconds. Mathieu, Dawn, and Noah were avenged.

Like a few other times today, Kevin just barely managed to announce Giavanna's victory

"And Giavanna wins… GET THE MEDICS DOWN HERE, ASAP!"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Giavanna is staring at the camera with a gaze just as cold as the one she gave Jay earlier.

"No, I don't have any feelings of guilt about what I did to Jay. I'm sure if you came back in a moment I would but I feel like he got exactly what he deserved for his behavior."

(Static)

"While Jay is a friend, I have to admit he kind of had it coming." Damian says.

(Static)

"It sure seemed like Jay was applying "Lex Luthor logic" to his fight with Giavanna..." Greg comments. "I mean, he knows he can't take her head-on so he had to think outside of the box. And just like Luthor against Superman, even that wasn't enough to win. Uh, not that I'm comparing Jay to Lex or anything, heh." Greg states nervously.

(Static)

"For some reason, while watching that fight, I could help but imagine that Giavanna was the T-Rex from _Jurassic Park_ and that Jay was the two raptors who it utterly annihilates. Maybe its because both are big, female, and driven by a raw instinct?" Carlyle wonders.

(Static)

"YES, YES, YES! What did I tell you Jay? Karma is a total bitch! But she's not just a bitch…she's a bitch with OVARIVES THAT ARE CHAINSAWS!" Chris exclaims.

(Static)

Giavanna is clutching her head in her hands with a look of complete guilt on her face.

"Oh my God, I'm a monster!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Alright, this is easy enough. Erebus, Mary, get over here to see who'll fight Giavanna!" Kevin exclaims to the remaining fights of the fourth round before adding, "Actually, if Mary wins, the Avatars will win this challenge. Come on Mary, end this thing already!" Kevin says, almost pleading.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I mean no disrespect to Mary but at this stage of the tournament I imagine that her skills are pretty low. I should be able to defeat her easily, even if I'm now very tried and slow." Erebus says, his voice not mixed with heavy panting only because of the rest he obtained while Giavanna and Jay fought. Though his voice didn't show it, he was just as tired.

(Static)

"Normally, I know I wouldn't have a child molester's chance in Heaven fighting Erebus. However, after his fights with Staci, Ari, and even Francisco, he might be tired enough to beat. Besides, the Lord hates a quitter, right?" Mary says, trying to see the bright side.

(Static)

"I truly hope that Mary can win this challenge for our team. Since she hasn't had any difficult opponents and Erebus had fought nothing but them, it very well could happen." Joseph says, thinking along similar lines as Mary.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**ROUND 4: MATCH #2: Erebus (Custom made Cane-sword) vs. Mary (Cruciform: double edged sword with a crucifix shaped hilt)! **

"If you two are ready. Then you may start the fight." Kevin says. The two nod and begin.

Erebus, wanting to end this fight quickly, ran at Mary as fast as he could with his sword. He had it all planned out in his head. He'd hit her with a suddenly strike to her left side. While she recovered, he would bring an equally strong one to her right side. As both of her sides were in pain, Erebus would stab Mary's heart and end this match.

Erebus primed his blade; he brought it to bear on Mary's left side. But as the blade moved, Erebus noticed something, something was wrong… it was moving too slowly.

As if playing out in slow motion, Mary brought her Cruciform and blocked the cane sword. Then, with a motion that caught Erebus by surprise with its apparent speed, Mary brought her blade down upon Erebus' left. The pain was more than it should have been.

It wasn't until then that Erebus realized how tired he was, how badly weakened he had become. The Machiavellian Poet couldn't remember the last time he was so tired in a fight.

Realizing this, Erebus was forced onto the defensive, a position he didn't really care for. Mary, hoping to take out Erebus while he seemed to be winded, attacked him many times. While Erebus did block most of Mary's strikes, the ones that hit him really hurt.

He realized that even though his being weakened played a part in it, that wasn't the only reason why Mary's blows hurt him so. She was good swordsman...uh, swordswoman.

Mary would continue to whale on him with her greater amounts of energy until she defeated him. Erebus knew that if he remained on the defensive he would only lose.

Throwing all caution to the wind, Erebus unleashed all of the fury would could muster. As he wildly attacked Mary, nothing was held back and he focused only on hitting her.

Taking Mary by surprise and with her not having the full training to keep her cool while being attacked, Erebus started landing strikes on her.

More or less by accident, one of those strikes had hit Mary's heart, ending the match.

"Though if we have to have a final round…Erebus wins." Kevin says disappointed. "We will give you ten minutes, Erebus, to rest before your final fight with Giavanna that we'll go into directly after this to the viewers. The sets of confessionals will be put together."

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"Joseph, let me just ***pant*** say that this is one lady you had better treat right. Because I greatly doubt that you'd ***pant*** be able to defeat her in a fight." Erebus says smiling.

(Static)

"Well, I lost. But no one can say that I didn't try. I hope Gia can win this challenge now." Mary says, slightly disappointed in herself.

(Static)

"Erebus is clearly weak after his fights but sadly, so am I." Giavanna says to the camera as her face is lowered so it is viewable. "Between that and my guilt, if this wasn't the final round, I'd probably forfeit. But it is the finale and I have to try to win for my team."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**FINAL MATCH: ****Erebus (Custom made Cane-sword) vs. Giavanna (Scottish Broadsword: large double-edge sword)**

Kevin looked at both Erebus and Giavanna, who were already panting heavily. "Are you two sure that you want to do this? Do either of you want to forfeit to the others?"

Both fighters shook their heads, neither wanted to surrender to their opponent.

"Ok, then. Let's get this madness over with already….FIGHT!" Kevin shouts.

They came at each other as fast as they could and tried to strike their opponent. Both because of tiredness and their skills, neither teenager could land a blow on the other.

Of the two, Erebus was the one who was hurting the most, having just fought barely more than ten minutes ago. It was only due to his greater sword skills that Erebus remained. And the Machiavellian Poet was fully and painfully aware of this.

However, while fighting, Erebus had an epiphany. And it was a positive one; it was a revelation. Maybe the size of her blade and her power could be a double Achilles' heel?

Rolling away from Giavanna, Erebus charged at her before appearing to "slip" on the grease. He remained exactly where he was until he noticed that the sun was suddenly blocked out above. As he planned, the Tall Bombshell was standing directly above him.

Waiting a few tense seconds, Erebus made sure that Giavanna had primed her blade. Once he knew that she was forcing the blade towards him with all of her considerable power, he rolled out of the way as fast as he could, barely dodging the supersized sword!

Standing up, Erebus took a second to make sure that his cunning plan had indeed worked. As Giavanna was struggling with both hands to pull out her sword, he saw that it did.

"Though I am ***pant*** very tired from these battles, I have just ***pant*** won this fight. Having driven that massive ***pant*** sword so deeply into the platform, you can't pull it out even with ***pant*** all of your might." Erebus says in between heavy pants while he slowly approaches the struggling Tall Bombshell who can't pull out her giant sword.

Indeed, Giavanna found herself unable to remove her Scottish Broadsword from the arena. Erebus was almost upon her; his sword was reflecting sunlight off of its blade.

Then, she had an epiphany of her own. With her left hand still on her sword's handle, Gia waited until Erebus was right next to her with the intention of stabbing her heart.

Once he was, she suddenly swung her right fist at Erebus as hard as she could! The giant fist struck Erebus's upper chest and he was knocked back but still standing in shock!

Erebus couldn't help but stare at Giavanna in complete and utter surprise.

Noticing this, the Tall Bombshell says with a smile, "What? I've taken some ***pant*** boxing classes. True, I'm not exactly Mike ***pant*** Tyson but I think I can hold my own in ***pant*** a fistfight. A girl's got to be able to defend ***pant*** herself against all of those men ***pant*** bigger than her who may want to take advantage of her, right?"

Despite the seriousness of the fight, Erebus couldn't help be feel his lips smiling as well.

"That's fair enough to justify a lady pursuing that goal with vigor. But, and please don't be insulted my dear, I'm doubtful that there are many men who you could call bigger."

Gia's big smirk only grew, "That's certainty been true. But a girl can dream, can't she?"

Erebus started to approach Giavanna as she continued pulling while speaking in a lower voice, as if he were whispering to make sure none of those watching could hear him, "That is certainly true but I'd wager that she doesn't want a bigger man who she had never met. Instead, I'd say she wants a much shorter, light brown boy, if I had to bet."

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Notice how you don't attempt to deny that it is true. And about your feelings, you might as well have the words, "Ravish Me Noah", written in a giant neon sign above you."

The Tall Bombshell couldn't help but blush. While doing so, she realized something. "Hey, are trying to take my attention away from the fight by saying that about Noah?"

"Due to my weakened state and the challenge you present I must say yes but I do seek your forgiveness, I implore. And don't worry, though I'm willing to use this for brief advantage here, I won't tell anyone since it would be wrong to use it for anything more." Erebus says with his face showing his sincerity.

"Thank you Erebus. That's very noble of you. You seem like a great guy, way too good for Melody, with no offense to you for liking her. But can we get back to fighting?" Giavanna says, while her voice went from actual approval to a kind hearted sense of opposition.

"Aw, but of course my dear, please all the cursory to be the one who initiates the start.

Allow me to be the gentleman then and charge at you with a sword to stab your heart." Erebus says in a friendly way despite it not fitting the words' context before charging.

After the Machiavellian Poet came at Giavanna, the two fought in a very odd but intense way. With one hand on her sword's handle, so it wouldn't be out of her hand for more than a minute and result in her being disqualified for it, Giavanna would use her other hand to try to punch Erebus while also dodging attacks from his custom made cane-sword's blade. This went on for about two minutes and both fighters were beginning to tire.

Finally, with Erebus slightly more tired than Giavanna, the Tall Bombshell landed a lucky punch! The punch was lucky not just because of how powerful it was but also because of how it knocked him onto a very long, especially slippery trail of grease.

This trail of grease combined with the punch sent Erebus flying right off of the platform!

Kevin blinked for a few moments, trying to confirm that what he saw actually happened.

"And there you have it! This nightmare of a challenge is finally over with! Ending it with the most unusual means of victory in this tournament…Giavanna and the Avatars wins! But please give a big round of applause for both Gia and Erebus; both were awesome!"

At hearing the Avatars cheer for her, Giavanna lifted her arms in victory with a smile. Then, she lowered her arms and her face became a little more solemn looking.

But this was unnoticed since Kevin was beaming with positive energy for this being done. "Ok, guys! Three announcements before I head out until the elimination ceremony. One, you can check on the people receiving treatment for injuries on the film lot at anytime while those who are at the hospital will arrive back within the next few hours. Two, Polygons, the burden falls upon you to decide which of you is out of the game. And three, now that we have a winner and the fighting is done, hand over those blades!"

Most of the contestants all too happily complied with the order to give up their weapons. Some like Greg, Izzy, and Harold were sad to hand them back but did so anyway.

But one of the contestants, Ari, wasn't having any of that and wasn't budging.

"Uh Ari, you do have to give them-" Kevin says until Ari pulls one of them out, and raises it to Kevin's throat in one lightning quick motion and with electric blue eyes daring Kevin through a hard stare to try and take the Ninjatos from the Ninja. "Just try and take them from me… none of you will succeed"

"Uh, never mind, keep them, they're yours." Kevin replies, chuckling nervously. As the interns back away, many contestants can't help but smile.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"I'll admit that Giavanna defeated me, even though both of us were weary and by combat greatly worn. I guess her inspiration due to the actions of Jo and Jay is proof that the old saying is true, 'Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned.'" Erebus says with a smile.

(Static)

Giavanna is cradling the hand she had most certainly sprained winning the last fight. "Ow, that really hurts. But I guess that's what I get for letting my anger get so out of control today."

Gia's focus shifts to the camera, her good hand still attempting to soothe her injured one. Her eyes seemed to have taken on a distant, contemplative sheen.

"For whatever reason, anger and guilt for me are like a sink valve. When one is on, the other isn't. Once anger is switched on, it pours out with the intensity of burning hot water. But the second that whatever made me mad is gone, the metaphorical valve is turned off and I feel the icy sting of guilt. Even when I know that I was right to be angry, I still always feel guilty after losing control. I hope you don't see me as crazy but I couldn't blame you if you did. I know I need help. Maybe Dawn could help me? I'll have to ask her after I see Damian, Nanon, and Noah." Giavanna says conflicted with herself.

(Static)

"Its funny how things work out sometimes, isn't it? It was in part thanks to the grease that I laid before the challenge started that my team ended up winning. So in addition to meeting the requirements for my first elimination, I get five hundred big ones as well." Solita says with a smile that was genuine and unsettling, with each increasing the other.

(Static)

"Summing up the final match can be done with the following line from _The Hollow Men_, 'This is the way the world ends…not with a bang but a whimper.' Having said that, with Giavanna winning and me getting five hundred dollars, it's a whimper that I really like." Noah says.

(Static)

"I like him, uh her, whatever Ari is!" Jay exclaims, confused yet pleased at the same time. "Just the right amount of skill, intelligence, ruthlessness, and just a little crazy…another potential alliance member!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

The Puppetmaster was the first to regain consciousness and to be released from the medical tent, the place where the injured went but who weren't injured enough to justify going to the hospital. His fairly lightweight body received the biggest beating it ever got at the hands of Giavanna. He would have to be very careful when dealing with her later.

"Ugh…I'm DEFINITELY gonna feel this in the morning", he says as he gets up, "And I have stiches, I'm going to put her in stiches by the time this damn contest is over" he says growling quietly to himself.

But in the meantime, Jay leaves the medical tent and (to his unexpressed discomfort), he was rushed and tightly hugged by Sadie.

"Sup' Sadie?" Jay asks surprised (and secretly disgusted).

"Nothing, I'm just so glad to see you up and around again". Sadie says with a smile.

"Yeah well it's gonna take more than a beat-down from our local Giganta to bring me down" The Puppetmaster replies with a cocky grin.

"Good." Sadie says, then she starts rubbing her arm nervously, "Jay, do have somewhere we could go to talk in private?"

Jay smiles as he says, "Of course I do beautiful! Follow me please." He says as he leads her to the back of a black warehouse at the film lot, her blushing half the way.

They get there, and Jay leans against the wall, arms crossed, smiling. "So beautiful, what is so important that you couldn't ask it in front of the others?"

"Ah... did you injure Mathieu intentionally?" Sadie asks, straight to the point.

Jay stands up, eyes narrowed, and yells "How could you ever accuse me of THAT?!"

Shocked by his outburst, Sadie stutters out "W-well, you were egging Matt on the whole time-"

Jay interrupts her with, "That was for everybody's entertainment!"

"W-what about the Ace of Spades?" Sadie inquires, stammering.

"How in holy hell was I supposed to know that thing was a flash bomb?!" Jay screams in her face, enraged now.

Sadie gets angry as well and screams in his face, "WHY DID YOU KNOCK OUT HIM JAY, WHY?!"

Exasperated, Jay replies with, "Because it was the merciful thing to do!"

Eyes wide in shock, Sadie replies, "M-merciful?"

Jay sighs and leans against the wall again, looking away in shame as tears stream down his face. "Yeah ***sniff*,** dude was in a full-on blind panic, most of his mask had been blown off, and he was screaming and starting to claw at his face... so I knocked him out to spare anymore pain and ***sob*** stop him from hurting himself".

"I... understand, I'm sorry for doubting you Jay." Sadie says shamefully.

He stands again, wipes away his tears, and holds her hand in his "It's okay, just... don't doubt me about something like that again, ok?" Jay asks in a begging tone, a weak smile on his face, as he looks her right in the eye.

She suddenly hugs him again "I'm sorry for ever doubting you, and I swear I never will again!" She exclaims relieved.

This brings a mischievous smile to his face as she's hugging.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

"Jay is just so sincere, he really didn't mean to hurt poor Matt, and I regret ever doubting him." Sadie says with a small degree of regret. Then she smiles and licks her lips. "Cute, sensitive, kind of muscular, with some attitude... Mmmmm, I can't wait to dig into him!"

(Static)

"Some of you may not believe me, but I do truly regret Magic Dude's fate!" Jay exclaims sadly. Then a devious half smirk creeps up his face. "But the fact that Sadie believed me so quickly without question confirms my suspicions, she is going to be the easiest mark I've ever played." Jay says as the half smirk grows to a full mischievous grin. "I cannot wait to REALLY start pulling at that girl's strings!" Jay exclaims eagerly.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Most everyone was lounging around the film lot, worn out in more ways than one by the unintentionally savage proceedings. Everyone agreed that it was nice to have such quality equipment, but wondered why they had to be put through such constant torment. The answer seemed to be unanimous; it makes good television. While some were more damaged than others, there were those who had been spared the harsh endeavor and allowed time to think. But no one's attention can go undivided, it seems, as Kevin approached the mess hall on his cell phone.

"Alright, so, it's on its way? Good. Okay, later." Kevin hung up his phone as he slipped into the mess hall, seeing mostly familiar faces. "Alright guys, I need you to round up everyone whose got their wits about them to get ready to welcome back our truly injured contestants." At this everyone set about gathering their common friends and enemies to greet those who had been more severely abused. They all gathered outside, anxious to see what consequences had befallen their efforts.

"I gotta tell you guys," Kevin said, just as the limousine was turning the corner, "I'm real sorry about how rough things have been going so far. I know some of you vets are probably cringing inside thinking about how the rest of this will turn out. But I want to assure you, we couldn't have asked for a better way to kick off a season. I think things are gonna really heat up." With that note striking a deep chord, the vehicle eased to a halt in front of the gathering.

One by one, the defeated rose from the ashes to be given their next chance. For most it was a simple set back, but for others failure was a fearsome foe with frivolously flirtatious fingers. As the first of these are brought into the light of the waning sun, Damian, Nanon and Noah are immediately greeted by a truly enthusiastic spirit.

"I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE OKAY!" Giavanna bellowed at the top of her lungs as she engulfed her three friends in the most sincere hug she could, which likely only didn't crush them due to there being three of them. None would dare think to comment on it, but wondered what might happen to them if there were only one of them on the receiving end of that hug. She seems to take notice of herself once more as she steps back to get a proper look at the damage that had been done. Strangely, there wasn't a scratch on them, any of them. Anywhere. It was as if the whole ordeal had never happened.

Seeing the look on her face, Noah was the first who reacted. "They've got some VERY good doctors. I think we're all gonna come out a little better this time around." He says comfortingly, taking Gia's hand briefly. Just as she felt her face beginning to heat up, another one of the smaller warriors stepped out, first drawing the attention of the onlookers.

"Matty! What's up, man?" Jay welcomes back the wounded sincerely. Not many could come back from an explosion like that and live to tell the tale.

"Don't you 'what's up, Matty', me!" Mathieu resists, still sore over his loss.

"Come on man, I didn't mean it. Besides, I didn't know that card was gonna explode! You gotta believe me." Jay reasons.

"I guess you're right." Mathieu admits. They're joined by Greg, a common friend.

"At least it looks like they were able to get you up and at 'em again." He offers them.

"Well, they had this really awesome clown at the hospital they got nearby. He was doing a whole bunch of tricks to keep us entertained while we were confined to our beds."

"Well, they do say that laughter is the best medicine, right buddy?" Greg counters.

"And it's nice to have company." They high-five and go to greet the rest of the pack, ready for round two. As this exchange is being met with mixed results, a new factor is added to the equation as Kevin walks up to the limousine.

"Where is she?" Kevin almost barks as he thrusts his head into the long car, not having to look very far. He offers her his hand and leads her out into the sunlight once more.

She looks around and immediately knows where not to go. Hoping there were paths with fewer consequences, Nise approached the small gathering that had congregated around her avenger. Having seen Giavanna's victory on the ride over, she knew just where the giant's heart was. With such a vantage point, she was easily detected despite her comparable size.

"Oh darling, I'm so glad you're okay!" Giavanna thinks about wrapping her arms around her new friend, but realized that might be counter-intuitive. Instead, she kneeled down to Nise's size and opened her arms as wide as she could with a big smile on her face. A timid smile graced the mathematical one's face and they embraced each other tenderly, to the bewilderment of some. It almost didn't seem possible that someone with so much destructive potential could be so demure.

"It's alright, these things happen." Nise admits, pulling back and allowing the other room to breathe. "It feels good to know that there's someone to look out for me. Just try not to be so abrasive next time." She struggled to keep a chill from crawling up her spine.

"I'll do my best." Gia offers unsure, still worried about her tendency to act on impulse.

After all these little exchanges have been made, everyone wanders off to their own devices again, none of them paying any mind to the host who had seemingly disappeared.

* * *

Jay was walking near the men's restroom, still in good spirits about earlier with Mathieu. As he walked, the Puppetmaster noticed Rob walking towards him looking determined.

"Hello Jay. I think we need to have a talk." Rob says, sounding menacing. But the Puppetmaster was still reveling in his success at fooling Sadie so he proceeded.

Despite his fear, Jay keeps his cool as he asks, "Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

"Your behavior today. The three people who you defeated ended up being knocked out. Funny thing that, isn't it?"

"Look man! I'm not proud of what happen by they were all acci-" Jay starts to say, pretending to be offended, before Rob raises his hand for Jay to stop talking.

"Let me finish." Rob begins, sounding so methodical and calculating compared to Jay's fake but impassioned outrage, "I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt Jay and believe you that both Matt and Dawn were honest-to-god accidents. After all, how could you possibly know what that playing card would do or that Dawn's body was so fragile?"

"Well then, I'm very glad we had this talk Rob but-" Jay says, trying to get out of this and him getting his loses cut by Rob believing him that Dawn was an accident as well.

"But that doesn't explain Noah." Rob continued, completely ignoring Jay's words, "I might not have been able to hear what you two were saying while you fought but the fight itself said more than enough. It was clear that you could have ended that fight at any moment and that Noah's efforts were becoming frenzied, probably by you egging him on. Now, are you going to admit what we both already know of your own free will, Jay? Will you admit that you were trying to humiliate Noah before knocking him out on purpose?"

"I'm telling you man, I didn't plan any of what happened to Noah!" Jay says loudly in a false but fairly convincing shout.

For his part, Rob sighs while bowing his head and softly saying, "I had a feeling you'd say something like that. Fine. We can do this the hard way, Jay."

"What do you me-**ACK!**" Jay starts to say before finding a great pressure around his neck. He notices that his feet are raised slightly in the air. Looking down, he sees Rob, holding his throat. Jay's eyes start to show fear; he has no idea what might happen next.

"Now then, let me ask you again. And know that if you lie to my face again I'll be forced to use more drastic measures. Was it your intention to humiliate and knock out Noah?" Rob says, reminding Jay of Batman in terms of how threatening his lowered voice is.

Jay had two options here: either try to deny the truth or admit the truth and hope for the best. Seeing what the Sharpshooter did during the tournament, he didn't want to test him.

"Al-alright! FINE! Yes, I meant for Noah to feel like crap before knocking him out. Now

Let me go!" Jay says with difficulty through his slightly collapsed throat.

Appearing to be satisfied with that answer, Rob lowered Jay and released his neck. While the Mohawked teen was rubbing his throat, Rob started to say more about his reasoning.

"I thought so. I also think I know why you did that, why you wanted to hurt Noah."

"Really? And why is that?" Jay says, remaining calm despite his fears greatly intensifying. How did Rob know? Had someone already discovered him so early?

"Simple. You wanted to hurt Giavanna for what she did to Melody in the first round. Since you couldn't get to her, you went for the next best thing, the one she's clearly into. Have I said anything untrue so far Jay?" Rob says, believing he knew the whole truth.

Jay was all but singing choir music in his head. _'He only thinks this is about Mel! He doesn't know about the bigger scheme! My most important and true secrets are safe!'_

Suddenly finding himself in much better spirits while not showing any change, Jay decided to see where things went now. "So… "Cough" what happens now that you know, Rob?"

"Again, simple. You have two choices. You can either have me as an opponent and trying to get you off of this team as soon as I can or you accept my offer."

"What offer?"

"The offer for a better solution. Despite your vile conduct with both Noah and Giavanna, you showed extraordinary potential. With more training and anger management, you could become a powerhouse in this game. I'm offering the chance to be trained by me."

Again, Jay's mind was bursting, but this time with excitement at this amazing offer. Also in repetition, aside from his far more emotional feelings, Jay calmly replies with, "Sure. I'd be happy to accept that offer, Rob. But I have to ask, why are you offering me this?"

"The more practical answer is because I need someone in this game who I know I can depend on just in case the others can't pick up the slack. But on a more personal level, I've known a few people like you while I was training. They were brilliant but they couldn't overcome their flaws. I'd like to finally be able to actually help someone." Rob says, being more open and personal than anyone has seen from the Sharpshooter.

Waiting a few seconds to increase the "dramatic reveal" Jay says with a soft expression, "Thanks man. And as I said, I'd be very happy about receiving training from you."

Rob shows a smile as he says, "I'm very glad to hear that. I'm sorry about choking you."

"Forget it man." Jay says with a friendly dismissive wave of his hand and a smile of his own. "I was bitter at Gia and Noah when I had no right to be. I deserved it."

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Shoo!" Jay says while wiping some sweat from his forehead. "Man, I dodge a bullet! I thought for sure that Rob had me pinned. I'm just glad I've become such a good actor."

His expression then becomes one of joy as he says, "Because that was so perfect! I knew I'd have to find some way of forming a bond with Rob and this is exactly what I needed! Plus being trained by such a capable fighter will only improve my chances by itself."

Seemingly playing an emotional roulette, Jay's face then reveals feelings of seriousness. "This first challenge showed me that even though I've kept up my deceptions, that wasn't enough. At least three people detected something being fishy. I'll have to be more careful. Until I build up my alliance, I have to be as low-key as humanly possible."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

At the same time that Jay was talking with Rob, deceptions were happening elsewhere.

"So, what are we going to do?" Jo asks Duncan and Anna Maria.

"Well its not going to be easy. Between what you did and you being in those casts, a lot of people are likely gunning for you. I know I'd be tempted to take out an easy target." Duncan answers.

"Tell me something I don't know, punk!" Jo shouts in anger.

"Calm down Crippled! I was getting to that." Duncan says, briefly losing his temper, "But there might be a way out of you being eliminated. Everyone saw what the Human Fireball's playing card did and how it made him extra-crispy. Maybe we can use the fear of that accidently happening to others on this team to get him out instead of you?"

"Ah don't know Duncan. That's sounds like-a long shot to me." Anna Maria says confused.

"Its not much I admit but it's the best I can come up with. I'm sure we'd be wasting our time with the other returning members but maybe some of the new ones might agree?" Duncan replies to the Jersey Shore Reject.

"That's the best you can come up with?!" Jo shouts angrily once again.

"After the hole you've dug yourself in, yeah! Now don't talk to anyone and let us handle trying to convince the others. Just seeing you would probably have them shut us out." Duncan demands of Jo, who despite her angry expression nods her head in defeat.

"Good. Now stay out of sight as much as you can while we repair the damage." Duncan says before he and Anna Maria left the wounded Jockette.

Once the two were a fair distance away from Jo, Duncan grabs Anna Maria's arm to stop her. "Alright Jersey Girl, let's talk about the upcoming elimination." Anne Maria smiles evilly and nods.

* * *

For Duncan, Harold, and Leshawna, the scene had a strange and slight déjà vu to it. For the second time in their lives, they were sitting on the uncomfortable wooden bleachers of the film lot. For the Polygons in from previous seasons but not Total Drama Action, this was a new experience. And for Francisco, Mathieu, Ari, and Britney, it was their first (and hopefully not last) Total Drama elimination ceremony. But this one had an additional feeling of being unique for everyone there. The main reason was because everyone, not just the Polygons but also the other two teams, had been told to gather around the stage where it would be revealed who was eliminated. Those who were on the Avatars or Cyborgs were siting on metal folding chairs near the ground while the Polygons were sitting on the elevated bleachers that may give splinters. No matter what they sat on or how high their elevation was, the teenagers were confused.

Kevin walked out towards the podium at the center of the stage, wearing a fancy tuxedo. "So here we are, the first elimination, both for me personally and the season. Polygons, despite the valiant efforts of some of you, as a team you were unquestionably the worst. Cody, you got your backside handed to you by one of the bubbliest girls I've ever seen. Mathieu, despite getting sympathy, that exploding card may have frightened the others. Jo, you crossed a line after fighting Nise that was so severe that no one had any sympathy for you as you were wheeled off to the hospital in the second round. And Duncan, you're already largely hated and you literally lasted less than five seconds in your second fight."

"Yeah, yeah, just bring out the Gilded Chrises already, Kevin!" Duncan says annoyed.

"Feeling the fear of elimination, uh?" Kevin asks with a smirk. Several Polygons chuckle while Duncan slightly grinds his teeth. "And this season there will be no Gilded Chrises, or Gilded Kevins for that matter. Chef, would you please bring out this season's reward!"

At hearing that, many of the asses of those sitting were suddenly tightened! They cringed at the thought of seeing Chef in a tight bright pink dress like during Total Drama Action.

But to their massive relief, when the black cook started walking onto the stage, he wasn't wearing a pink dress, or any kind of dress for that matter. Instead, he was in a tuxedo like Kevin's, only larger to fit his taller and more muscular frame. He didn't look too bad.

Kevin couldn't help but smile as he saw many faces change from horror to relief. "Yes, the days of Chef being forced to undercut his masculinity for a cheap laugh are over!"

As the contestants cheered, Chef started crying in joy as he wrapped his arm not holding the tray with this season's reward around Kevin and pulled him into a tight hug. "Bahahaha! You actually pay me, you treat me with respect, I don't have to wear any dresses, and I get to show my real cooking skills. So this is what it feels like to not want to skin your boss alive like a rabbit and then gut him? Kevin…I LOVE YOU MAN!"

This lasted for a minute or two before Chef finally released Kevin from his hug. After straightening out his tuxedo, Kevin pats Chef on the back, as he says, "No problem man. Believe me, after being stuck with MacLean for so long I can understand your delight."

The New Host then turned towards the contestants. "I was going to save this for tomorrow morning but there's no harm in letting you all know now. For everyone except the Polygon who will be eliminated, you will be shown Chef's actual cooking skills. There will no longer be any food that's still alive or not easily identifiable as food!"

For the second time in a few minutes, every contestant cheered, even louder this time. Duncan nodded his head with a smile, remembering how good Chef's food before the finale of Total Drama Action was. Mary and Joseph were sending thankful prayers to God. Owen cried happier than ever before, unintentionally covering Noah in tears.

"Anyway, here is what most of the Polygons will receive…**a Gilded Marshmallow!**" Kevin revealed a tray full of marshmallows that seemed to be made out of gold.

"So you just put some gold wrapping over some marshmallows?" Noah asks cynically.

"At first glance, yes, but like this season, there is more to it than it appears to be at first. Hopefully being symbolic of the good core of Total Drama so long soiled being improved, under these gold wrappings are marshmallows carefully covered in the finest chocolate in the world, created from the best cacao beans from the Venezuelan region of Chuao which have reached maturity in the rich grounds of Pontedera in Tuscany, Italy!"

Owen was drooling so much that a literal waterfall of saliva was pouring out of his mouth. Many of those sitting near him had to lift their feet to avoid getting them wet.

"Now then, I'm sure you know this but I am contractually obligated to say it anyway. Polygons, all of you expect one person will receive one of these heavenly treats and in addition to the delights of chocolate and marshmallow on your tongues, you are safe from elimination and get to put it all on the line all over again the next day! The loser, just like in Total Drama Action, will be forced to exit the film lot right away in the Lame-o-Sine!" The awful automobile that looked a breath away from death pulled up. "Oh, and so there's no confusion, once you're eliminated, there's no coming back for this season." Kevin says before starting to toss out the Gilded Marshmallows to ten of the Polygons.

"The first Gilded Marshmallow of the season goes to the Polygon's captain, Harold!" The Nerd tries to catch it but it bounces off of his head, though it does land in his other hand.

"Next, being the best fighters on the Polygons, here you go Ari and Staci!" Both caught their marshmallows. Ari quickly turned around before revealing that he/she was now chewing on it. As Staci ate hers, she wept a little at the joy of not being eliminated first.

"And now, marshmallows for the other people who didn't get any votes against them. Leshawna, Britney, Anna Maria, Cody, and Francisco!" They all caught their rewards.

Three Polygons still hadn't obtained a Gilded Marshmallow, and one never would. The question was who would never get one? Duncan? Jo? Mathieu?

"With great reluctance, the next Gilded Marshmallow goes to…Duncan!" The Delinquent caught his reward, happier because he remained despite Kevin's wishes.

"So, Jo and Mathieu, one of you is about to join Ezekiel, Bridgette, Geoff, and Staci as the first elimination of a Total Drama season. The last Gilded marshmallow goes too..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." Mathieu is fidgeting in fear, unsure if his magic tour was about to end here.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." Nise is trembling at the thought of Jo remaining for another challenge.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"…" Jo keeps her face, as it always is, confident and dominant.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Oh WOULD YOU JUST GET ON WITH IT?!" Noah shouts at the top of his lungs.

"Fine, grumpy. Matt, heads up bro." The final nail is driven into the coffin as the Gilded Marshmallow flew into the hands of the relieved trickster, already planning out new things he could try tomorrow.

"I can't believe this!" Jo spat angrily, stomping up to the cocky new guy as he eyed her calmly. "There's no way I got more votes than Houdini over there!"

"Actually, even you have to admit that what you did to Nise was over the top." Kevin tries to reason with her.

"I don't have to admit anything! I'm the best contestant here! Without me, TOTAL DRAMA IS DEAD! And who else do you have here to compete, huh? A bunch of halfwits who don't know their heads from their hind-quarters? Like Baby Rattle over there, you better hope she doesn't croak on one of the future challenges, and have your asses sued! Think about it, we all know how this show is, it's sick and vindictive! I'm just glad I'll be able to watch the whoooole thing on-" Just as Jo's rant had been reaching its crescendo, Ari reached her after standing from his/her seat and proceeded to lay directly into her nose as hard as he/she could. Truly aghast, Jo stares into the Ninja's harsh eyes and, for possibly the first time in her entire life, she began to weep. She broke down into uncontrollable sobs, and rushed away from the scene directly into the confessional booth.

"I'll have some interns see to it that she makes it to the limo." Kevin offers slowly, unsure of just what he had witnessed the conclusion to.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Jo is sitting down, her left arm is in a cast and her right arm is in a sling until it has feeling again. Her body is covered in bandages and braces. For once, she looks defeated.

"Now I know how Scott felt... it kinda hurts." The Jockette says with realization.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Seconds after the Lame-o-Sine had taken away the defeated Jockette, Kevin started talking.

"Now since that has been taken care of, you're likely wondering why I have the other teams here too, right?"

Many of those present from all three teams nod their heads.

"Well, one reason is because I thought there were some of you," Kevin says while looking at Nise, "who needed to see who it was who has been rightly eliminated."

Nise couldn't help but slightly smile at the consideration Kevin displayed for her.

"But there is another reason too. And the proof of that should be here right about…" Kevin says while looking at his watch. A nice looking limousine pulls up. "…now!"

"What's with the actual limousine that doesn't sound like it's dying?" Noah asks.

"I'm glad you asked Noah. As I've said a few times before, **additional** **previous contestants **will be **added** to this season **as it goes** on. While every one after this will be introduced before the challenges start, this first one goes to the Polygons, the losing team."

"So, who will be added to our team?" Harold asks.

"Allow me to introduce her. From almost the first day of Total Drama Island, this girl rocketed through both the challenges and the hearts of many fans. Between her toughness, intelligence, and strong but not necessarily accurate moral compass, it's easy to understand why. After the first season, however, this show has not been very kind to her, either because of poor circumstances or decisions that are very morally suspect at best. But even so, this girl is one Goth who remains both popular and a powerhouse. Please, give a loving round of applause to…" Kevin says, slowly building up the reveal.

The door to the limousine opened. A big black boot was seen stepping onto the ground.

Several people had smiles on their faces, already knowing whom this girl was. It was…

"…GWEN!" Kevin says at the top of his lungs as the Goth emerged from the limousine.

The Goth took in the sights around her. Her eyes were overpowered to say the least. There were many faces that she didn't recognize, many odd faces. There were people who she saw images of before from the previous season, which she wanted to forget after being buried alive by Chris again. Speaking of Chris, while Gwen wasn't happy to be back, she was pleased to learn that Chris was no longer host, though she had little faith in Kevin. Along with being the host, he was the older brother of Britney, the only new contestant who Gwen sadly recognized from seeing her image everywhere. She hated her music. And of course there were the people who she already knew of but didn't really enjoy. But then there was a very small group of people who Gwen had some good feelings towards.

That small cluster of people, only four or five people big, started to approach Gwen.

The most passionate was Greg, who ran to his older sister and unintentionally tackled her as he hugged her. "I can't believe it! It's been **months** since I've seen you, Gwen!"

Despite the situation, Gwen couldn't help but smirk as she hugged her younger brother who was still lying on top of her. "It's good to see you too Greg, I've missed you as well. But couldn't you have found a better way to show your affection than tackling me?"

"Oh that's nonsense! They say that physical interaction is the best display of affection." Greg says with a smile, enjoying hearing one of his big sis' sarcastic comebacks once again.

"Remind me to get you a crappy Christmas gift this year, little bro." Gwen says smiling. She and Greg then get back up on their feet and dust themselves off.

Within two seconds of doing so she found herself tightly hugged again. Normally the Goth would have made another quip about not liking so much happiness in one sitting. However, seeing whom the two people were who were wrapping their thicker black arms around her thin pale body, Gwen could easily let that side. "Hello Leshawna and DJ."

"Hello yourself! How's my favorite White Girl doing?" Leshawna says happily.

"Well, I'm stuck in Total Drama yet again but you're here and on my team. So things are sitting shockingly well for me." Gwen says, surprising even herself with her admittance of that.

"I'm glad to see that you're looking on the bright side of things this season." DJ says.

"Thanks DJ. I wouldn't bet on it being something routine but I'm very happy to see you."

As Gwen talked to DJ, Greg, and Leshawna a little bit more, Cody watched her but couldn't speak. His eyes were twinkling like galaxies as he saw this milky white goddess. In her appearance and quick-timed quips, Gwen proved why she was Cody's dream girl.

However, like many dreams, this one was about to become a nightmare…

"Hey Pasty! Don't I get any attention over here?" Duncan asks with a smirk.

Without saying another word, Gwen walked over to Duncan and kissed his lips.

One could almost see mushroom clouds obliterating the shining galaxies that were once in Cody's eyes, his face had changed from pure happiness to pure horror. Greg nearly gagged. Leshawna watched the kissing couple with some subtle disapproval on her face. While many of the others watching didn't have as noticeable a reaction as these, among their expressions very few could be said to have found any delight from seeing this kiss.

As the camera moves away from the kissing couple, Kevin comes into view alone.

"So, after what feels like an eternity, the first challenge is finally over with. Thank God! But of course, this is only the beginning. There are so many questions to be answered. Will Gwen help or hurt the Polygons? Who will be revealed next and on which team? Will Nise ever get over the damage caused by Jo? Will we discover Ari's gender? And could it be any more obvious that Duncan has become the new Heather to many here? Find out the answers to these questions next time on **Total! Drama! What is Real!"**

* * *

**ELIMINATION CONFESSIONALS**

(Static)

"In any other situation, my vote would be for Duncan faster than a running Tiger Beetle, the fastest Earth animal for its relative size. But as this team's captain, Jo can't remain." Harold says.

(Static)

"I met up with Sugar Baby and we're in agreement. Jo has got to go!" Leshawna says.

(Static)

Ari is writing on his/her notepad. It is presented to the camera to reveal Ari's vote: '_JO!'_ After doing so, the Ninja angrily stabs the Jockette's name with his/her pencil repeatedly.

(Static)

"Jo was a bitch but I'm voting for Matt. At least Jo won't hurt people on her own team. Whereas it doesn't take much to imagine one of those magic tricks getting us all out!" Britney says.

(Static)

"Its funny, even after she did so well at first, I kind of thought Staci would go if we lost. But I think its more likely it will come down to Jo or me. So I have to vote for her. I wanted you as a alliance member but after your little stunt, you're more of a liability." Duncan says. **(3)**

(Static)

"So Duncan wants me to vote for Jo? I'm good with that. She finally payin' for when she threw my hairspray across da ice!" Anna Maria says, remembering TDRI's third episode.

(Static)

"I'm sure I'm going to shock some people but I'm voting for Duncan. What Jo did was truly horrible but I really believe that Duncan would have been worse if he fought more." Cody says.

(Static)

"So, yeah, I'm voting for Jo. She's worse than my great, great, great-" Staci says before the camera cuts off, to the relief of everyone watching.

(Static)

"I think my choice should be obvious but I'll say it to be sure. I vote Jo." Francisco says.

(Static)

"As much as I hate to admit, Duncan is right. A lot of losers will be voting for me. But maybe he was on to something about Matt? So, for that reason, I vote for the Tricks Kid." Jo says.

(Static)

"Me and Nise ended up spending a lot of time together at the hospital. It was extremely heartbreaking to see how badly Jo had affected her. So, I hope to make that vile bitch disappear! Jo gets my vote." Mathieu says, switching from sympathy to rage.

(Static)

**END OF ELIMINATION CONFESSIONALS**

* * *

**Duncan: 1**

**Jo: 8 **

**Mathieu: 2 **

**Eliminated: Jo (Final Bonus Cash Amount: $0)**

* * *

**Eliminated: Alejandro (For Now), Scott (For Now), Jo **

* * *

**Current Team Members and Current Bonus Cash Amounts:**

**The ****Pummeling Polygons: ****Harold ($0), Duncan ($0), Cody ($0), Mathieu ($0), Britney ($0), Anne Maria ($0), Ari ($0), Leshawna ($0), Francisco ($0), Staci ($0), and Gwen ($0). **

**The Assaulting Avatars: ****Noah ($500), Giavanna ($500), Damian ($500), Solita ($500), Dawn ($500), Nise ($500), Mary ($500), Owen ($500), Joseph ($500), Izzy ($500), and Sadie ($500). **

**The Crushing Cyborgs: Chris ($0), Katie ($0), DJ ($0),** **Melody ($0), Jay ($0), Greg ($0), Rob ($0), Justin ($0), Nanon ($0), Erebus ($0), and Carlyle ($0). **

* * *

**THANK GOD WE ARE FINALLY DONE WITH THIS CHALLENGE! Don't get me or my two partners wrong, these fights and character interactions were great but we never meant for this first challenge to take up five large chapters. If nothing else, we have learned that we won't be having any tournament type challenges until we have far fewer contestants to have to keep track of and show everyone's efforts.**

**Co-author's Notes: Hey guys, this is Rufus T. Serenity here! I just wanted to say a few quick things. 1.) The majority of this chapter was written by me with some excellent and needed advise from my two awesome writing partners. 2.) I have also written the majority of the next chapter that will hopefully be posted not too long after this one. 3.) By the time that this chapter will be posted, I will have started my summer job. I mention this because my time to write stories (both my own and this one) will be greatly reduced. But please know that I'll still be working on them! :) **

**2****nd**** Co-Author's note: Hey dudes, GunMaster here! I really have to thank my partners Rufus and CRRGL for writing most, if not all, of this chapter while I was wrapped up in schoolwork and my Job… I can't thank you guys enough! **

**(1) This info about the Vulcan Nerve Pinch is based on the Wikipedia entry. While interesting, I'm unsure if they mean that is how the nerve pinch works within the Star Trek universe or in the real world. My gut feeling says it's within Star Trek only. However, I could see Harold believing that it could apply to our world too.**

**(2) Shane Walsh, if you don't know was Rick Grimes' former partner as a county sheriff's deputy and best friend who Rick was forced to kill towards the second season of The Walking Dead after Shane tries to Murder Rick to claim Rick's Wife Lori and his Son Carl as his own. Shane was, and still is my fav Walking Dead character, and he's really missed on the show, so I had to put in a reference to him somewhere.**

******(3) When this challenge first started, oh so long ago, we thought exactly this: that even with her doing so well Staci would still be eliminated first for the second time. But after writing what Jo did to Nise, there was no believable way around that. And actually, that works out better since it gives us time to have more fun with Staci.**

**Total Drama is property of Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV productions, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me. Giavanna, Erebus, Nanon, Mathieu, and Carlyle belong to Rufus T. Serenity. Melody, Rob, Francisco, Britney, Nise, Chris, Mary, Joseph, Ari, Solita, as well as the basic storyline and some later plot threads belong to CRRGL.**


	9. What is Real? Episode 4, Raging Tides!

**Co-author's Note: Hello everyone, this is Rufus T. Serenity. I just wanted to express how amazed I am that this story is now over 100,000 words long and it's only the first chapter of the second challenge! Is that a good thing or bad…you decide! :)**

**Co-author's Note: Hey guys, GunMaster again, just letting you guys' know, other than some copy-paste sections and Rufus and CRGGL'S editing, I will be in control of the writing for this episode, on that note, enjoy!**

* * *

**Total Drama, What is Real? Episode 4: Roaring, Raging Tides! (Part 1)**

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama, What is Real? We started my reign as new host with one HELL of a bang! We had the most brutal" *cuts to footage of Gia accidentally elbowing Melody in the face, knocking her out instantly and the Ace of Spades exploding in Matt's face* "violent, bloody" *cuts to footage of Greg and Duncan's duel, Jo's sucker punch to Nise, Jay's duel with Giavanna* "and overall, epic" *cuts to footage of everyone of Erebus' Duels, Jo and Nise's duel, Izzy vs. Ari, Solita vs. Anne Maria, Jay vs. Matt, Duncan vs. Greg, Jay vs. Noah, Rob vs. Harold, and Rob vs. Gia* "challenge in Total Drama history! One episode in, and I've already out-done you McLean, how does that feel?!" Kevin exclaims as he shoves both middle fingers to the camera, grinning.

He then clears his throat and continues. "Anyways, even with the swordsmanship of Harold and Staci, martial skills of Ari, and straight-up merciless brutality of Jo and Duncan, the Polygons were the first team to fall" *shows Ari's defeat at the hands of Erebus*. "But the winning team, the Avatars, all won our brand-new 500 dollar bonus cash prize that's handed out after every challenge to the first place team. Congrats guys, you earned it! *cuts to footage of Giavanna after defeating Erebus and winning the challenge* "Anyways, back to the Polygons… in my first ever elimination, the Polygons got rid of the merciless and sadistic Jo for her unprovoked assault on poor Nise earlier." *shows footage of Ari breaking Jo's nose with one punch, leaving her in tears*"And finally… Gwen was the first contestant welcomed back into the TD fold…" *cuts to footage of Gwen exiting the limo* "Welcome to the Polygons, Gwen!" Kevin exclaims.

"Heading into only our second challenge, many questions abound… how will Harold, Joseph, and Melody fare as the captains of their teams? Will the Duncan-Anne Maria alliance hold? What is Jay planning? How will Gwen fare on the Polygons? Who will be the next contestant to be revealed? And how much more will I top Chris McLean in this episode? I'm your host with the most, Kevin Rawlings, and this IS Total, Drama, What is Real?"

* * *

**(Cue title screen and theme song, and let's get this show on the road!)**

* * *

**(Crafts and Services Tent)**

All the contestants are eating breakfast and talking with one another, but only one is gazing around the entire dining tent, eyes wide with wonder and awe. That person is the newest member of the Pummeling Polygons… Gwen.

Her teal eyes looked around her in sheer disbelief as they examined the eating area. Though she had seen a few of them briefly last night, Gwen couldn't believe over half of the new players who were eating alongside those who she had seen many times before.

At one table, a girl who was the tallest person that Gwen had ever seen in-person was making what appeared to be awkward small talk with Noah and Heather's brother. A girl with skin nearly as pale as hers with long light-blonde hair, Dawn was her name Gwen thought though she wasn't sure, was trying to comfort a small Japanese girl, who was trembling like she was afraid of being shot at any moment. She felt sorry for that girl.

Two tall teenagers originally from Egypt were eating with Owen and Izzy, enjoying the company of the former while fearing the company of the latter. Gwen could relate to those views.

More spread out over the many tables were sights like an honest-to-god ninja and a magician who were eating with Harold and Leshawna, a bizarre boy wearing a mask who was talking with a girl whose name she thought was Staci, an almost equally odd boy wearing 19th century clothing with a cane who spoke in rhymes who was charming Heather's sister while a new guy with a Mohawk looked at him enviously, and a girl who had only one arm was talking with a boy who was apparently a trained military sniper.

'_Just when I thought this show couldn't get any more surreal.'_ Gwen thought to herself.

Despite that, Gwen actually felt some small joy in returning to the show, shocking as it was. The reason was seeing some people who she hadn't seen in months or even longer than that. As always, she was beyond happy to see her little brother and spent some of her time back so far with him. The Goth also spent a bit of time catching up with Leshawna and DJ. But, she spent most of her time here, including right now at the mess hall, with Duncan. As they ate, talked, and kissed each other occasionally, another person cringed.

At the other end of the mess hall, Cody had watched the couple with great difficulty. He was very thankful that he had been one of the first to get here and had already ate his breakfast because seeing Gwen kissing Duncan would have robbed him of his appetite.

Mercifully for Cody, Duncan then excused himself from Gwen to use the men's room.

After what felt like hours of mentally preparing himself, Cody stood up and walked towards her. His every step was heavy with the knowledge that this, in all likelihood, wouldn't go over the way he hoped it would. But he had to let Gwen know something. No matter the cost, Cody needed Gwen to hear three sincere, short and simple words.

As he approached Gwen, who hadn't seemed to notice him, Cody was about to clear his throat to get her attention. Despite his throat suddenly becoming as dry as desert sand, Cody was going to say the words that would start the hardest ordeal of his entire life.

As the Tech Geek was about to clear his throat…

"CODY CODY CODY!" A manic voice screaming at the top of its lungs called to him.

He panicked for a spilt second, thinking that it was Sierra, before realizing it was a male voice. Even odder, it was a voice that Cody barely heard before, from a new contestant.

Less than a second later, Carlyle came running up to Cody as fast as he could (which wasn't very fast by most standards). The Tech Geek noticed that he was carrying Noah. But that observation was petty given that Carlyle was shouting as he ran towards him.

"CODY, CODY! IT'S CARLYLE! THEY WON'T STOP! SABERS BEATING PHASERS, TRUFFLES BETTER THAN EWOKS, DEBATE WON'T STOP! WON'T LISTEN TO ME, YOU GOOD FRIEND, NOAH ALSO GEEK, MUST COME NOW! THIS TROUBLE IS BIG!"

Cody was stunned, and not just because of Carlyle's manic energy or very cryptic words. In both his way of speaking and frantic nature, the Cinefile reminded Cody of how Gwen was in the Amazon rainforest after she had accidently been injected with his EpiPen. The Tech Geek tried to not blush at the memory of Gwen pretty much touching his butt. But then that reminded him of what he had been trying to do before Carlyle came bursting in.

"Uh, listen man, can't this wait, I…" Cody tried to say as politely as possible before…

"NO TIME, NO WAIT! MUST END MADNESS BEFORE PREQUELS AND TNG!" Carlyle says even more manically as he suddenly grabs Cody in his other arm and runs.

As the Cinefile ran off with the two small geeks, Cody turned to Noah and asked, "What is up with Carlyle? Do you have any ideas what he was trying to say?"

"Yes Cody, I know exactly what he's saying since I'm fluent in manic movie fanatic." Noah replied, being as sarcastic as ever.

Groaning at Noah, Cody looked behind Carlyle and saw that Duncan had returned. Despite not getting the chance to talk to Gwen, Cody was glad to be taken away. He couldn't stomach seeing Gwen and Duncan kiss anymore today before the challenge.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"While I wish that it hadn't happened in quite such an insane manner, I'm actually thankful to, uh, Carlyle, I think, for taking Cody away." Gwen admits to the camera.

Her expression then becomes more serious, as if she were being judged for a crime. "I don't hate Cody but after two seasons' worth of endlessly not getting the hint that I'm not into him, my patience for him as reached its limit. I've honestly been dreading his next inevitable attempt to hit on me while claiming that he just wants me to be happy when I know damn well that he is just playing the "loyal, supportive friend" to get in my skirt! I'm with Duncan, why can't he see that? Oh, and he still has my bra from season one!"

(Static)

"You'd think that being carried out by a manic movie fanatic would have been the oddest thing that happened to me this morning. But here at Total Drama, they always outdo themselves, upping the surreal atmosphere to make us more miserable for your pleasure." Noah says with his snarky attitude on full display before becoming more contemplative.

"So, after getting a good night's sleep and heading towards the public restrooms this morning, I saw a sight which I wish could be forever burned from my massive brain. I'll just say this…without his cloak and mask; Chris bears a striking resemblance to Green Man from _It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia_. Only, you know, darker."

(Static)

Chris is seen in the confessional, down to only his dark green body suit. He has a knife in each hand, yet both have a mysterious trail of light that follows their every movement, as if they were glow sticks. Instead of sitting or talking to the camera, Chris is faux-rave dancing with the glowing knives, while repeatedly making the same beat box noise. This goes on for a solid minute before cutting out.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**(Outside of Male Cyborg Trailer)**

After being carried for a few minutes, Cody noticed that they were near the male Cyborg trailer and he started to hear two voices shouting at each other with considerable anger.

"George Lucas literally shit the bed with the prequels!" Greg proclaimed angrily.

"Wait, wait…you said he literally shit the bed?" Jay asked, irritated and bitter.

"Yes! There was shit in a bed somewhere! He was in a bed, there was some shit, he scooped it up, he smeared it onto a page…and that's how we got the scripts for the prequels! They were written in his bed poop!" Greg explained with deep contempt

"Oh that's really mature of you Greg! Let me guess, all of the _Star Trek_ films were written by the pen of God, right?" Jay asked, even more irritated and bitter than before.

"At least _Star Trek_ doesn't pretend that everything was planned out from the beginning! Oh yeah, it was all planned out from the beginning. That's why Luke and Leia kiss even though they are brother and sister! Leia doesn't find out until much, much later. She meets this mysterious guy, there's some kind of weird connection, she feels very comfortable around him, and he saves her life…you know they did the dirty deed!"

"Oh, so you want to talk about moral flaws, uh? Well how about "_Insurrection"_. You can berate _Star Wars_ for possible, key word possible, incestuous undertones but that's nothing compared to a movie that tries to portray a group as unquestionably right when in fact they are a bunch of selfish assholes who are okay with billions of people dying just so they don't have to leave a planet which they don't even own! It's a movie that bills itself as "cerebral" but then goes, 'Let's hope nobody notices the gaping flaw in the story that makes the heroes and the "perfect people" they are fighting for look like douchebags!'"

"Yes, that was a bad movie but that's one movie. All of the _Star Wars_ prequels suck! The biggest reason for that, aside from the bad acting, direction, and writing, is that Anakin Skywalker, the end-all-be-all of this world, is an asshole! He's poop infused with piss! Despite being the Space Jesus of _Star Wars_, he has all the charisma of a wood stump! I mean this so-called Chosen One doesn't have any game! He goes, 'your skin's like sand! Your so PURDEY!' Oh, and let's not forget…he doesn't get the girl until he gives her creepy sex looks, whines about himself, admits that he'd support a fascist dictatorship, begs her for sex, massacres an entire village of indigenous people including women and children, brings home his mom's corpse, and goes on a psychotic megalomaniacal rant!"

"Oh yeah! What about _"The Final Frontier"_? And I'm not just talking about the three-breasted cat lady! Even though that statement should be more than enough by itself. There's also the fact that it was meant to be Captain Kirk fighting against the Biblical Devil to be replaced with a fake God whose killed by a few tiny laser shots, sounding like blasts from a Tie fighter, and who sounds like both Yosemite Sam and Scooby Doo!"

That was far from the end of the conversation, though it was more like an angry shouting match by this point. Not too long after this the debate descended into even larger oddities. Soon debates about a tribe of primitive homicidal teddy bears defeating a technologically advanced empire were countered with arguments about how a race of cybernetic beings that were a leaderless collective without sexual reproduction obtained a sex-crazed leader.

Even to those who actually knew what they were talking about, it all became so surreal. Cody and Noah looked at each other. Now they both knew why they were brought here.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"Ah, the greatest nerd paradox, taking entertainment meant to inspire peace and making a battlefield. I'll just say, all people are born alike…except Trekkies and Star Wars fans." Noah says with his cynical tone slightly altered by a seemingly deep understanding.

(Static)

"For those of you who don't know, every single example they brought up is so sadly true. When I encounter movies on the same bad level as the worst that either _Star Wars_ or _Star Trek_ has to offer, I go through a whole mental process. I fully pass through the states of not knowing what's going on, not caring what's going on, and not being angered by what's going on. No, I reach a state where I imagine food mascots inserted into famous historical photographs." Carlyle says while nodding his head, approving of that idea.

"Grimace executing the Vietcong general. The Kool Aid Man screaming in horror at Kent State. Toucan Sam crying for the burning Hindenburg followed by Mr. Peanut and Chester Cheetah kissing each other in Time's Square on VJ Day. All of those things are more believable and pleasant than Pod racing or flashing light sequences that last for over ten minutes. You likely think that's absurd, don't you? Well, would you rather me contemplate the Trix Rabbit giving the Richard Nixon bunny ears he made giving the famous "V for Victory" sign with both hands or stripping down to my bare black ass and setting myself on fire!?" Carlyle says, sounding both crazy and logical at the same time.

(Static)

"While kind of bugged at Carlyle for robbing me of the chance to talk to Gwen, I understood why he was so frantic. It sounds like they had been shouting at each other for a long time. I don't know them super well yet but Greg and Jay both seem like great guys. I had to step up and stop them before this debate got any worse." Cody says.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Cody decided to step in and separate the two, having dealt with this before. "GUYS! You both have good points, but is this argument over whether _Star Wars_ or _Star Trek_ is better really going anywhere?"

"No…" Both Jay and Greg say in unison.

"Look, both are great, I'm a huge fan of both! They've been great, and they BOTH have been awful. In my mind they're equals in sci-fi! So why don't you guys give it a rest before you kill yourselves in a bout of pointless fan-boy rage? We have bigger enemies to deal with! Like Duncan and the Twilight series for crying out loud!" Cody exclaims.

"Fine." Both Greg and Jay say deflated as they walk away.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Honestly, I agree with Cody. Both _Star Wars_ and _Star Trek_ are good. Both franchises have made at least three great movies. Whereas _Star Wars_ has _A New Hope_, _The Empire Strikes Back_, and _Return of the Jedi_, _Star Trek_ has _Wrath of Khan_, _Voyage Home_, and _Undiscovered Country_. There are others that one could argue as good or not but those are easily the best ones. Those are the ones that show what _Star Wars_ and _Star Trek_ can rise to when they are not weighted down by things like midichlorians undermining the basic idea of the Force or having the crew of the Enterprise violating the Prime Directive only so they can have a pointless action sequence with a useless dune buggy!" Carlyle says with the knowledge of having seen all of the eighteen films in both film franchises. **(1)**

(Static)

"Trekkies, Star Wars nerds, Whovians, Browncoats, Otakus, Bronies, Tolkienites, Potterheads, Avatards, Marvel comic nerds, DC nerds, freaks and geeks…please, for everything that is wonderful and special about actual fiction of quality, stop the bickering. We must unite against a far greater threat to humanity's imagination…TWILIGHT!" Noah says, actually sounding sincere in his plea to those watching him now.

(Static)

"He's right, I have a much bigger challenge to tackle…how to split up my sister from that lecherous, cheating prick Duncan! It's only a matter of time before he cheats on her too yo!" Greg exclaims in anger before adding with deep concern, "I don't want Gwen to end up like Courtney."

(Static)

"Cody has a point; I do have better things to do, like continuing to build my alliance and win this next challenge!" Jay says.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**(Large Stage Platform at the Center of the Film Lot)**

After the debate between Jay and Greg ended, they along with Cody, Carlyle, and Noah walked towards the Crafts and Services Tent and noticed everyone heading out. It seemed that Kevin had come by and told them to meet him in the middle of the film lot for their next challenge. As they all walked, the contestants noticed something odd; the ground was littered with massive piles of what appeared to be vehicle parts. But more than that, each pile was made up entirely of one type of part: one was made of steering wheels, another was gears, and another was exhaust pipes among many others. Moving past them, they all reached an elevated platform with chairs in front of it. And adding to the strangeness at work, there was a massive water tank near a large stage platform.

Once they reached the area they were told to, the teens broke into small talk once again. However, the small talk was pretty low for the most part; many of the teens were still exhausted from the demanding challenge yesterday. Two were more tired than the others.

Both Chris and Staci yawned heavily and often. The two had started talking to each other after the Polygons had eliminated Jo, due to Chris' respect for Staci's skills with a rapier. And Staci, still being Staci, was more than happy to talk with Chris for many hours. Though they couldn't see his face, many of those looking at him were truly shocked to see Chris so calm and sluggish. They wondered if anything would end his slothful state.

Kevin walked out on the platform and made his way to a podium at its center. In contrast to the over thirty teenagers, his face was both wide-awake and even a little excited.

"So, how are my wonderful contestants doing after their first night's sleep this season?" Kevin asks. His only replies were incoherent mumbles and angry groans from the teens.

"That sword duel challenge really took it out of you, uh?" Kevin asks with a smirk.

"Well, there's no getting anything past you Kevin." Noah replied with a smirk of his own, but oddly enough Noah was actually one of the more alert contestants because he was one of the few who had gotten a good night's sleep. And that was rare for him. He attributed it to dreams about a certain girl who was very tall and had lovely green eyes. The only other person who slept just as well was Gwen, who didn't fight yesterday at all.

"Right you are, Noah. It is ironic that your one of the more awake ones here, isn't it?"

"What can I say; one of the things I live for is irony." Noah says with a shoulder shrug.

Kevin chuckled a bit at Noah's remark; the new host often liked Noah's sense of humor.

"Well Noah, we might be able to give the rest of the Avatars some of that pep as well. Then again, it could just as easily be given to either the Cyborgs or Polygons instead." Kevin says, now having the attention of the majority of those listening to him.

"That peaked your interest, uh?" Kevin says with a little chuckle escaping him. "You see, you might not remember this thanks to you all being so tired but the newest contestant being revealed at the elimination was something that will only happen the first time around. Starting now, the contestant, or contestants, will be revealed and added before the challenge starts. That way those watching at home can see the interactions from the get-go, or as MacLean would have put it, to start the tension and drama as soon as possible. So, before today's challenge starts, a second contestants will be revealed and added!"

"If that was your game plan, then why did you not start adding people today? Why add Gwen into the game when she hasn't competed yet before the next person came in?" Noah asks.

"A very logical question. While it makes no practical sense, it was a producer mandate. After all, that's the same reason why the first challenge was a single elimination tournament even though we had an odd number of contestants and different means of selection for the later rounds." Kevin answers as the looks sent his way change from shock to understanding.

"So, if that's the case, which team is getting the next victim of this cruel show? Let me guess, you're going to add them to whichever team would make the most drama, right?" Gwen asks Kevin with a skeptical look.

"Bitter, yet understandable considering you've been with MacLean for four seasons. And since that was my next point, I'll answer your question right now, Gwen. No, I won't be picking which team this person goes on…you will!" Kevin says with a growing smile.

"W-what!?" Gwen exclaimed at having been caught off-guard.

"Let me explain. Every time a new contestant or contestants are revealed, whether by choice or random lottery, one of you will be part of the process that determines which team is strengthened. Each person can only do this once, so there's no possibility of them figuring out any tricks to tip the means of selection in their team's favor." Kevin answers.

"And what exactly is the means of selection?" Gwen asks, though impressed so far.

"Again, you're asking the right questions my lovely little night bird. To answer, let's bring out said means of selection**...the Wheel of…Drama!**" Kevin says while moving away.

Once Kevin is far enough away, a trap door opened up at the platform's center. What arose was a massive wheel connected to a very large and thick marble pillar behind it. The wheel itself was made up of many sections of many different widths. But despite being numerous, they were all green, blue, or red with the fitting team symbol on each color (green for the Polygons, blue for the Avatars, and red for the Cyborgs). Along the rim of the wheel were many long and thick rubber handles jutting outward. At the very top of the wheel was a large rubber wedge that was half the length of the handles.

"Now Gwen, given your understandable skepticism, would you do us the honor of being the first contestant to spin the Wheel of Drama?" Kevin asks the unsure Goth.

After debating it for a few moments, Gwen says as she stands up, "Ah, the hell with it."

With that, the Goth walked onto the platform and grabbed one of the many handles. Using all the strength she could, Gwen forced the wheel down and it began spinning!

As it spun, the Goth returned to her seat, staring at the wheel in confusion.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. Greg had told me that Kevin actually had a soul but I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that we'd have a fair, honest host!" Gwen says, with a face that's still reeling in shock.

(Static)

"The twist with the wheel was a shock, and I always love shocks, both electrical and otherwise. But even that shock could barely wake me up. Having a few epically long rants with Staci, a girl who's known as the Chatterbox will do that to you. Of course the fights played a part in that too. I'm unsure if anything can wake me up for today's challenge." Chris says, with his normally hyperactive voice sluggish and slothful.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

After roughly two minutes, the wheel finally started to slow down. Everyone waited with bated breath to see which of the three teams would have fresh blood pumped into it. Finally, the wheel stopped.

It had landed on a wider section of the wheel…a section that was blue!

"And the first person from the Wheel of Drama will be joining the Assaulting Avatars! Now let's have a look at this envelope here and see who will be under Joey's command." Kevin says as he tears open an envelope and looks at the piece of folded paper inside.

After looking at the paper for a few moments, Kevin stares at the Avatars and says, "Joining you today is someone who, despite his limited screen time, made an impact. For some it was because of his being the first victim of Scott's underhanded deceptions. For others, it was his almost unrivaled ability to build truly impressive mechanical devices. And yet for others, it was his relaxed attitude and refusal to express himself with words. No matter the exact reason why he became a fan favorite, I present to the Avatars…B!"

Coming from around the platform from an origin point unknown, it was B who appeared. With his girth, relaxed grin, and baseball cap, he couldn't be mistaken for anyone else.

Several of those sitting in their chairs bolted up at seeing B. None more so than Dawn, who had the largest smile and was about to go over to greet her friend …but someone beat her to B. This other person zipped right by Dawn while appearing to be only a blur. What made this more impressive was that this person had been dead tired until now.

Finding B's reveal to give him just the perk he needed, Chris got right up to B's face.

"B! Oh my God, you're really here! I just gotta ask, did you really build that contraption from your audition tape ALL BY YOURSELF?!" The Enigma inquires manically, with everyone staring on in stunned silence.

B, his eyes wide, merely nods his head once before the Nutcase continued with, "THAT IS SO TOTALLY AWESOME! If anyone knows the true value of convenience, it's one who has an affinity for his tools!"

Chris continued to stare Beverley in the eye, his mask's grin making the whole scene that much more disturbing, before B's face breaks out into an equally wide smile before wrapping the odd one in his large embrace.

"OOF, OHAHAHAHA, NO STOP THAT, I'M TICKLISH! AHAHAHAHA!" Chris shouted while hugging B. The rest of the contestants looked on with a general sense of vague confusion (mostly due to the fact that Chris wasn't actually being tickled). But no one was more puzzled than Dawn, who looked on with her jaw and grey eyes wide open.

"He must be rather unpleasant to look at if he hides behind that get-up all the time." Justin says to Melody, who is the closest person next to him.

"Oh, I'm comfortable with my ugliness!" Chris says, suddenly bouncing to be in between Justin and Melody from behind. "I wear this so that my ugliness won't outshine your beauty. Aw, I'm just in ya; Justin ya head! Aheh, just in, Justin, ha, get it!?"

And the Enigma vanished just as quickly, as he appeared to be talking to B once again. Justin, Melody, and anyone who had seen what had just happened stared at each other.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"It was bad enough when we had only one wacko who would pop up out of nowhere!" Justin says, clearly a little frightened by Chris' little stunt.

(Static)

"Doesn't Izzy know how to pick the best people to be her friends?" Izzy asks, clearly impressed by the action that horrified Justin.

(Static)

"Okay, what is wrong with this universe?!" Jay shouts enraged at the camera, "The Big Brainiac and the Maniacal Moron are instant friends? FUCK!" He screams as he facepalms.

(Static)

Dawn is shown in the camera's focus, obviously distressed.

"I don't understand! B has such a kind and gentle soul. Why would he react so positively to someone so obviously unhinged?!"

(Static)

"I wasn't kidding when I told Beverley I was impressed by his mad skills." Chris admits to the camera, once more mask-less. "When I'd heard that his aura was predominately purple with green traits, I knew he would be a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, these things don't translate well over electronic wavelengths, so I had to take Dawn's word for it. Honestly, the 'purple' portion is closer to violet than indigo or lavender."

The Enigma stops talking briefly, seeming to think to himself, "Heh, I wonder what Dawn's reaction would be if she knew that mine is crystal blue."

(Static)

B is seen reading a book inside the confessional. The title is clearly legible, reading _Life Colors: What the Colors in Your Aura Reveal._ After a few seconds, he looks up from the book at the camera with his right eyebrow cocked.** (2)**

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL **

* * *

"I swear it wasn't intended to be this way but B being the revealed contestant will likely give the Avatars a big edge in today's challenge." Kevin says when the focus is on him.

"How so?" Joseph asks, curious about if his team actually was now better off than before.

"Well as you've likely noticed, there are piles of many different types of parts littered all throughout the film lot, yes?" Kevin says.

Most of the contestants nod their heads in agreement.

Seeing this, Kevin began to explain the rules of this season's second challenge with, "Well, because our first challenge was such a bloodbath, I decided that today's challenge would be something different. Rather than having you fight, today you will be building vehicles and racing them! Total Drama has had you build bikes and aircrafts, had you race with things like bikes, go-carts, and others. Today, you'll be building and racing boats!

"You have six hours to gather the parts needed from the many piles here, build any type of modern boat that you have the ability or inspiration to, and make sure it will actually stay afloat by testing it in our massive water tank right over here. We have a crane system on standby to lower your boats into the tank and take them out. If your boat can stay afloat for roughly thirty minutes, then it can enter the race. While you don't want to rush construction and in the process make a crappy boat, finishing earlier yields a nice benefit.

"Once the six hours are up, whatever you have finished will enter the boat race. But here's where the advantage of finishing early comes in handy. Before the race, every boat will have weights placed inside of it; the sooner you finish building your boat, the less weight will be added. Naturally, less weight means your boat is not as slowed down and ergo, has a better chance of winning the race or at least simply not sinking. As you can likely guess, the team whose boat finishes in last or does the worst will lose. And of course, that boat's team will need to eliminate someone at tonight's voting ceremony!

"Oh, and captains! Today is the first challenge in which you will actually need to lead your teams. As will be the case throughout this season, you can give leadership responsibilities over to another person on your team if you feel like they would do better. But to anyone thinking of taking leadership, know that this means you will likely be targeted if you end up costing your team the challenge. Such are the risks of leadership.

"Having said all that…get to building! Your six hours starts now!" Kevin says, ending the rules.

With that, the three broke off into groups to devise their plans for this challenge.

* * *

**(The Pummeling Polygons)**

"So, team captain, what do we do first?" Britney asks Harold with some subtle disdain.

After thinking about it for a few seconds, Harold answers with a depressed expression, "I'm not sure Britney. I've never built a boat before. Making naval craft isn't one of my skills."

"Wow, great first job as team captain, nerd. Why don't you just stand aside and let me take over as today's team captain?" Duncan says; his contempt for Harold couldn't be missed.

"Yeah, right Duncan! Why in Eru Ilúvatar's name would I allow you to lead us? You'd probably just have us build a giant wedgie machine!" Harold says angrily at Duncan. **(3)**

"Whatever Doris. Did you forget that I built a boat with only two others' help in Sweden? I'm sure I can do even better with the help of ten." Duncan says, confident in his abilities.

Harold's eyes widened a bit behind his green glass-lenses as he saw Duncan's point.

"But wasn't that a medieval Viking boat? We need a modern motor boat." Harold says, the fiery anger from his voice was gone but not because he was any less bitter at Duncan.

"So then it's a good thing that in addition to boat building, I know about motors too, uh?" Duncan replied, smirking at the newly revealed information about his particular prowess.

There was silence for a few moments. Though many hated Duncan, he did have a point.

Harold, despite not looking pleased at Duncan's arrogant attitude, sighed in defeat as he says, "Fine Duncan. For the good of the team, you can lead us in today's challenge."

"Now that's what I like to hear! Step aside tweeb and let a real man take the reins today! Gather around boys and girls, let me show how to do this challenge right." Duncan says as the Polygons gather around him to hear his plan for how to build a good motorboat.

While Duncan's plan made a lot of sense, many of the Polygons still looked bitterly at him.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"After the disaster that was yesterday's challenge, this could be a very good turn of events. My girlfriend, who not only likes to make out with me but who could possibly sway a few friends of hers who hate me, is here and will be a rock of support. I still have at least one person aside from Pasty who I'm pretty sure I can depend on. And, most importantly, I have a chance to both build some credit and discredit Doris at the same time. I might even be able to convince the others to vote Harold off if we lose today." Duncan says with his face being the happiest it's been since this season started.

(Static)

"Letting Duncan lead us today felt like committing seppuku with a red-hot Kanata blade! GOSH!" Harold says in burning anger. But that anger becomes replaced with sadness.

"But as much as I hate to admit it, he was right. After losing yesterday, a win is vital. And, while it burns me to admit it, Duncan is the one most capable of giving us one."

(Static)

"Oh, it took all of my restraint to not play kick ball with that criminals' balls again!" Leshawna says, fuming at Duncan.

(Static)

"While I did not like the way he said it, what Duncan said still made perfect sense." Gwen says.

(Static)

"I don't like Duncan; he's a piece of cheating crap. But I hate Harold more! His nerdy habits offend me and, unlike Duncan, without a sword I don't see Harold being that useful. He might be the captain, but the Polygons might be better off without Harold." Britney says.

(Static)

"While I would have loved to have pointed out that I built a working boat in Sweden too, I knew that it wouldn't be wise. After all, while it floated fine, it was a giant Gwen head. Given what I hope to do later, it's for the best that I don't remind her of things like that." Cody says with sadness and grim understanding in his voice.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**(The Assaulting Avatars)**

"I suppose I should ask the logical question, who here has any experience with boat building aside from B?" Joseph asks the Avatars, to see mainly a sea of unsure faces.

"Boat building isn't exactly my forte but I might be able to help with the blueprints." Noah says.

"Excellent Noah! But I'd feel much more confident if we had another helping B build it. Is there anyone else here who would have any knowledge of how to build a boat to race? Giavanna, I heard that you have quite the intellect. Could you help build a racing boat?" Joseph asks.

"Not really. Sorry Joseph but I've never been in a mechanic's workshop or scientist's laboratory. I've always excelled at literature and history more so than woodshop or chemistry. I'm sure I can offer some muscle," Giavanna says flexing one of her arms with a smile and chuckle, "but I don't think I'll be able to offer much more than that."

The Tall Bombshell then looked at one person and suddenly formed an idea. "Joey, what about Nise? I'm sure that she would be more than capable of helping build the engine."

"That's a pretty good idea. How about it Nise, do you think you could help us out?" Joseph asks.

Nise started to tremble uncontrollably as every pair of eyes turned towards her and felt like massive search lights from a prison to her. "I-I do-don't know…wh-what if I fa-fail? Wha-what if the engine ex-expa-explodes while I-I'm building it? What if you…yo-you all vote me out if we lose the cha-challenge?"

Sighing with sympathy, Joseph got down on one knee to be more at Nise' eye level.

"I understand that you are afraid because of what Jo did to you yesterday, that it still has its claws in you. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel, I've been and I'm still there." Joseph says, his eyes becoming briefly sorrowful at remembering his behavior yesterday.

"But she's gone now, she can't hurt you anymore. No one wants to hurt you like that. I know it's not easy but you have to move beyond what has happened to you in the past. I've heard you talk to Dawn every now and then about your hobbies at home and you sound like the perfect person to help B and Noah make a high-caliber racing boat. With all of you super-geniuses working on it, there's no way it could explode in your faces. When you first came here, you said you wanted to be more like Cameron. Did he cower under Jo's bullying and his own shortcomings?" Joseph concludes, adding great warmth to his statement.

Nise was silent for a few seconds, considering what Joseph had just told her. "N-na-no…he didn't. He ke-kept trying no matter how sc-scary or hard things got." The frightened girl says, with her fright being joined an unexplained reddening of her cheeks.

"Exactly. And that's what you have to do now, Nise."

There's silence once again, no one else dared say anything whilst Joseph and Nise conversed.

"You really think I can do it?" Nise asks, her voice is calm but her eyes are looking downward and there's a slight frown on her face.

Joseph brought his hand under Nise's chin and raised her face slightly to look directly into his. Being as sincere as possible with bright eyes and a smile, Joseph says, "I do."

After taking his hand away, Nise's head fell back to looking at the ground. This time though, her faint blush grew and her previous slight frown was now transformed into a big smile.

"Uh, it's B, right? Could we start discussing what kind of boat we are going to build?" Nise asks, turning towards the Silent Genius who nods his head with a smile of his own.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I was scared of him before but I think Joseph's a good team captain." Nise says smiling.

(Static)

"I'm very proud of Joseph! His aura is full of agony but he still finds a way to help Nise. I felt troubled by what happened and this could be the start of the healing process." Dawn says with a sincere smile.

(Static)

"I'm still distrustful of Joseph but after his talk with Nise, I might be proven wrong." Noah says, expressing some doubt.

(Static)

"Nise has begun the long walk on the road to rising above her flaws and fears. Its road is menacing and full of obstacles but it's one that we all must travel on at some point. Letting her and B lead us today will hopefully be a good start. I'll try to help Nise however I can. After all, my feet are treading the same path as her feet are." Joseph says.

(Static)

"Uh? Nise was shaken up far worse than I would have guessed by Jo's actions yesterday. She'll be easy prey. But I'm going to ignore her for the time being. There's someone else on another team who is far more deserving of getting her pain-in-the-ass self out of here." Solita says.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**(The Crushing Cyborgs)**

"Okay, which one of you morons knows how to build an engine, or boat?" Melody asks condescendingly.

Jay pops up and says with a faint smile trying to contain the anger he feels while saying, "First of all, I'm not a moron. Neither is anyone else on this team. And second, I'm good with motor bike engines, so I could do it." Jay finishes with a proud grin.

"Uh, okay is there ANYONE ELSE here other than Jay capable of working with engines as well?" Melody asks, kinda taken aback by Jay's stand.

"Uh, don't know much about engines, but I'm great with electronics!" Greg exclaims.

"Like Jay, I've been around cars and bikes all my life, so yeah, I know how to maintain 'em." Rob says with a smile.

"Okay then, Rob and Jay get engine duties then." Melody says, somewhat reluctantly.

Jay and Rob fist-bump with smiles on their faces.

"Hmmm… Katie, DJ, Nanon and Erebus… I think I'll get you guys working on the boats' frame." Melody says.

"We can totally do that!" DJ replies grinning.

"Okay, I guess that just leaves me and Chris… I guess we'll help with the controls." Melody says.

Jay raises an eyebrow and says with a sly grin on his face, "Really? You want the lunatic helping with sophisticated electronics?"

Many could feel Chris frowning under his creepy Max Headroom mask. **(4)**

"Dude, SHUT UP!" Rob says, elbowing him hard.

"Ow…" Jay replies, while rubbing his arm.

Suddenly, a mischievous grin appears on Melody's face as she asks Chris, "Hey Chris, do you know anything about engines?"

"Of course I do! Although, I'm better at dismantling them then I am putting them together!" Chris exclaims with excitement.

Rob glares at Jay, who lowers his head in shame.

"Okay then, Chris, and oh right, Justin, you can help out Jay and Rob with our engine." Melody says grinning evilly in Jay's direction.

"Thanks a bunch pal." Rob says to Jay, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yeah, it's bad enough I'm on grease monkey duty, but now I have to put up with the masked maniac at the same time." Justin says in disgust.

"I'm sorry okay? I screwed up, but look on the bright side, this is Justin's chance to prove he's not completely useless, and Chris can prove he's not totally insane." Jay says nervously.

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence." Justin replies in a deadpan.

"I can still hear you, you know that right?" Chris asks.

"Uh yeah, but no one cares what you think." Jay says harshly.

Chris growls a little. "Fine, let's just get started on this engine okay?"

"My thoughts exactly." Jay says as he glares at Chris, while the Enigma just seemed perplexed, clueless as to why Jay dislikes him.

"But what kinda boat should we build?" DJ asks.

Greg smiles as he replies with, "Oh, I have an idea or two yo…"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"That should teach that redneck punk wannabe to keep his mouth shut from now on. HA!" Mel exclaims with an evil smile on her face.

(Static)

"STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!" Jay exclaims as he face-palms himself over and over till his forehead is red.

"There are times where I should keep my damn mouth shut, you know? But I couldn't help myself! Chris the Creep is disturbing to say the least, and I don't trust him one bit!" Jay says with an equal amounts of disgust and fear. "Did you know he SLEEPS with that mask on?! If that's not a sign of Bat-shit crazy, I have no Idea what is!"

The Puppetmaster then shudders at the thought of working with Chris.

(Static)

"I get the feeling that Jay has a strong distaste for me, and I don't know why…" Chris says, scratching his head. "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to turn on my charm. He'll warm up to me, they always do!" The Enigma then starts clapping happily.

(Static)

"I can already see teaching Jay restraint is going to be a problem." Rob says with a disappointed sigh. "But I won't give up, I never give in until the job's done."

(Static)

"I know I screwed up bad during the last challenge… losing to Noah, how humiliating." Justin grimaces, disgusted at himself.

"I guess I have no choice but to get my hands dirty to prove my worth since this team is at least eighty percent a sausage fest. And I'm gonna have to get into Melody's good books to charm her, knowing her family's track record. Goodbye hand model contract." Justin says sadly, almost crying.

(Static)

"Wow, it was sure nice of Melody to put me on the same assignment as DJ. I don't care all that much if it was for her own personal gain, it was still nice." Katie says smiling.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Okay guys, we have to go to commercial, but after the break…we get to boat racing on Total, Drama… What is Real!" Kevin says.

* * *

**(1) Rufus T. Serenity here with an acknowledgement: I'm sorry to say but I myself haven't actually seen all the eighteen **_**Star Wars**_** and **_**Star Trek**_** films. I have seen all the **_**Star Wars**_** ones but of **_**Star Trek**_** I've only seen the three listed and the two reboot films. However, I loved four of them and liked **_**Star Trek:**__**Into Darkness**_** fine enough. As for my knowledge of the other **_**Star Trek**_** films mentioned, to that I must thank the Internet reviewers (the Nostalgia Critic, Confused Matthew, RedLetterMedia, and SF Debris) whos reviews of the bad **_**Star Trek**_** movies were both really funny and masterful at explaining how even to a non-Trekkie like me why these films suck. **

**(2) The book B is seen reading on auras is a real book that can be found on Amazon, with brief descriptions of the colors near the bottom of the page. If interested, you are encouraged to scour the interwebs for more in-depth (not to mention FREE) breakdowns. - CRGGL**

**(3)** **Eru Ilúvatar's is the name of the highest one, the God, in the Lord of the Rings.**

**(4) Max Headroom was the world's first "Computer generated Artificial intelligence TV Host" as portrayed by Matt Frewer in a creepy prosthetic slicked-back, blonde-haired, crazy blue eyed mask, as CGI of that time couldn't create Max's image accurately. He hosted the "Max Headroom Show" in the U.K with a digitally distorted voice. Max Headroom is most well known in North America as one of the primary spokesman of "New Coke", a cameo on Sesame Street, and an infamous hijacking of two Chicago TV stations by an unknown Max Headroom-clad assailant on November 27****th****, 1987. If you would like to know exactly what this looks like, please look it up on either Google or Wikipedia. You're Welcome.**

**Side Note: Be ready for a HUGE reveal in part 2, I hope you like it!**

**Total Drama is property of Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV productions, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me. Giavanna, Erebus, Nanon, Mathieu, and Carlyle belong to Rufus T. Serenity. Melody, Rob, Francisco, Britney, Nise, Chris, Mary, Joseph, Ari, Solita, as well as the basic storyline and some later plot threads belong to CRGGL.**


	10. What is Real? Episode 4, Part 2

**Co-author's Notes: Hey, Rufus T. Serenity here! Just wanted say that this chapter doesn't have one big reveal…it has two! As to what they are, you'll have to read and guess. :) **

* * *

**Total Drama, What is Real? Episode 4: Roaring Raging Tides (Part 2)**

* * *

**(Total Drama What is Real HQ)**

"Okay Guys! Welcome back to the TD movie set in beautiful Calgary Alberta or at least on the outskirts anyways!" Kevin exclaims smiling. "I hate commercials… bloodsuckers…" He then mutters to himself, unaware that the camera caught him.

"Wow, HQ here is comfortable huh? Anyway, the three teams have since gathered up their parts and are now working on their boats within a large garage meant for them to work in privacy…from the other teams that is. Of course, they are all equipped with our cameras. But they aren't giving that any mind, as they are all now working diligently on their respective vehicles, whatever they may be. Let's take a look shall we?" Kevin says as he smiles gleefully and turns on one of at least a dozen screens he's in front of.

* * *

**(The Pummeling Polygons' Garage)**

"Hey Doris, wanna hand me the crescent wrench?" Duncan asks Harold as he's working on the engine.

"Hmmm… let me think…no! I'm not your lackey Duncan! Ask someone else. Besides, I'm working on the task YOU ASSIGNED ME, because I let you! Don't forget who's in charge!" Harold replies snidely as screws in a fiberglass panel onto the boat's unfinished frame.

"Here ya go Duncan." Anna Maria says as she hands Duncan the socket wrench as he, her, Gwen, Britney, and Francisco are working on the engine.

"Thanks." Duncan says.

Harold, Leshawna, Mathieu, and Ari are working on the frame while Staci and Cody are working on the controls.

"And don't call me Doris, Duncan." Harold says while drilling a hole into the frame.

Duncan only grins as he replies with, "Why not? I find it fitting."

At that, Harold throws down the drill and stomps over to Duncan with eyes behind green frames seeming like ember flames. "What the hell is you're problem with me?!" He screams in his face.

"Hmmm, let's see, you're a massively inconsiderate weakling, a nerd, a slob, a coward…" Duncan continues as he stands up and starts counting his fingers.

"How am I cowardly?!" Harold exclaims, really pissed now.

"Remember on Island, you stuffed the ballot to eliminate Courtney? Drove her insane? Those get your memory discs running?"

"Oh, so now I guess you're going to blame ME for you cheating on her now?!"

"Well, actually…"

And on and on they go for over 10 minutes. It went on for so long, in fact, that someone spoke up who seemed to be a very unlikely person to do so.

"Shouldn't somebody do somethin'?" Anna Maria asks Gwen, Britney, and Francisco.

"Nah, just let them argue it out, it's not like they're gonna do anything other than scream." Gwen replies.

**CRASH!**

A large wrench, thrown by Harold in a fit of rage, whizzed directly above Anna Maria's head.

"You were sayin'?" Anne replies growling.

"I've been wrong before…" Gwen says sighing in defeat.

"I'm puttin' a stop to their shenanigans right now!" Anna exclaims.

"You know what I THINK, Duncan? I think-" Harold tries to yell in Duncan's face before he's rudely interrupted by a hard open hand slap to the side of his face courtesy of Anne Maria. Duncan smiles down at the fallen Harold, and tries to say, "I knew you weren't so bad Jersey-", before he's unexpectedly decked with a hard uppercut that sends him to the ground and gasps reverberate throughout the Polygon ranks.

"What was that for?!" Duncan yells as he gets up.

"Yeah, that was totally harsh, gosh!" Harold says.

"I think it was totally called for, since a crescent wrench YOU threw nearly whacked me in the freakin' head!" Anna Maria says enraged, poking on Harold's chest.

"Gosh, I'm sorry Anna Maria… I was so mad at Duncan that I wasn't even paying attention." Harold says, looking downwards in shame.

"Exactly my point, uh… Harold, that's right!"

"Well, what was I hit for?" Duncan asks angrily.

"Because you provoked him ya moron! Now look yous two… you're 'sposed to be the leaders of this team, so LEAD, not act like little girls fightin' over a dolly!" Anne Maria yells, to the chuckles of many of the Polygons.

"But…" Duncan tries to say before Anna cuffs him hard upside the head.

"ENOUGH! You, will stop picking on Harold, Duncan and Harold, you WILL act like a captain, not a child, because if you don't…" Anne Maria cracks her knuckles and grins sadistically as she says with an eerie calm "let's just say I know how to discipline men who misbehave, is that clear?"

Both Harold and Duncan's eyes go wide as saucers…

"Uh, yeah." Duncan croaks out.

"Crystal." Harold says, white as a ghost.

"Good." Anna says as she turns around, and many of the Polygons are staring at her. "What ya'll lookin' at?! Let's get back to work!"

And with that, Anna walks back to the engine, Duncan practically tip-toeing ahead of her as everyone gets back to work.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Okay, I don't like the way Anna Maria handled the situation, but I gotta say, I'm very impressed with how she got Duncan to just back down like that without a single word of protest. Not even Courtney was able to do that, maybe I should ask for her advice…" Gwen says, smiling deviously while having a finger to her cheek in a thinking kind of pose.

(Static)

"Ha! Gotta love a sister like that, sent that punk scurrying back to his hole like the rat he is!" Leshawna exclaims with a big smile plastered on her face, but then her expression turns to one of anger as she wags her finger at the camera. "But if she handles my Sugar like that again…"

Leshawna continues as she slams one of her fists into her other palm. "It's Curtains!"

(Static)

"Wow, the way Anne Maria put Duncan in his place was awe-inspiring!" Cody says as he claps in adoration. But then his expression turns to one of anxiety as he says, "But I DO NOT want to get on her bad side… she makes Gwen, Courtney, and even Eva's wrath seem tame in comparison! Well, maybe not Eva's but still, that was very impressive."

(Static)

"That was truly impressive, but also terrifying, that's all I have left to say." Matt says, tugging at the side of his shirt in nervousness. "What she said and how she said it definitely rattled my cage…" Mathieu finishes with a shudder.

(Static)

Britney is non-chalantly combing through her blueberry color hair, and then she notices the camera.

"Oh you want me to say something about Jersey-Girl? I'm not impressed. I've done WAY worse to the paparazzi … still, she seems like a bully, and we have plenty of those on this team. Not that I'm intimidated by her." Britney deadpans.

(Static)

Francisco is wide-eyed in shock as he says in a stunned monotone, "Mierda…" **(1)**

(Static)

"OMG THAT WAS AMAZING!" Staci says so fast she has to gasp for breath. "I got chills as she said "I know how to deal with men who misbehave"… so awesome! I found a whole new level of respect for Anna Maria!" Staci says excitedly.

(Static)

Ari is holding up a sign with only one word in bold print… "LOL!"

(Static)

"Great, as if I didn't have enough crap on my plate…" Duncan scoffs. "She won't get the best of me again, I won't allow it."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**(Total Drama What is Real HQ)**

"Okay, I think we've seen enough of the Polygons…" Kevin says in a combination disgust and intrigue as we transition back to HQ.

"Let's see what the Avatars are up to, shall we?" He says as he flips a green switch, and the Avatars come up on-screen…

* * *

**(The Assaulting Avatars' Garage)**

… And there's nothing but black…

* * *

**(Total Drama What is Real HQ)**

"Uh, how come we're getting nothing on the Avatars' end?" Kevin says as he desperately flips more switches trying to bring the Avatars on-screen.

"Because we don't want you to, we disconnected all your cameras." A voice says from behind!

"GAAAAAHHHH! How did you get in here?!" Kevin exclaims as he falls out of his chair in surprise. Even more shocking is the identity of the person…Noah, with an uncharacteristic grin.

Said Bookworm pointed behind himself, his grin growing ever bigger. "B hacked the electric lock." Noah says as B stands behind him, also grinning, arms crossed like a boss.

"Of course he did." Kevin replies, shaking his head.

B then hands him a note with a mischievous smile painted on the Silent Genius' face.

"'You will only see what we want you to see'… THAT is creepy, but I have no objections." Kevin says nervously.

"Good choice." Giavanna whispers in his ear behind him as if she appeared out of nowhere.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Kevin screams as he jumps out of his skin in surprise again. Finally, Noah can't contain it anymore and burst into loud, obnoxious laughter, while both Giavanna and B have huge trollish grins on their faces.

Kevin gets up and yells with a face turned bright red from anger and embarrassment, "Get out of MY HQ! All of you… GET OUT!"

As the three teens left the control system, still laughing and praising each other, Kevin turned to the camera. "Sigh… sorry guys, but I have no control over THAT situation…"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Kevin shivers as he says, "Those three will haunt my dreams forever more. They are like some kind of trinity of brains and brawn. Seriously, if they go bad, everyone is TOTALLY fucked!"

Kevin's phone rings, "Huh, I'm getting a text from Noah… 'U mad bro?' OH COME ON!"

(Static)

B holds up a sign that says, "I'm totally awesome … and I know it."

He winks at the camera with a devious grin, then laughs, showing his voice for the first time.

(Static)

"I think… this is the start of a beautiful friendship. B may prove to be a great addition to our team." Noah says with a smirk closer to an actual smile on his face.

"Also, just so you people watching are not totally clueless, there's a reason why we did that. And no, it wasn't just to scare Kevin, even though that was more fun than I thought it would be."

(Static)

"That was so fun!" Giavanna exclaims, her head lowered and her face showing a beaming smile. "But I actually feel a wee bit guilty for doing that. If it were Chris, I'd have no problems about doing that. But Kevin's a good guy. If it weren't for our secret, I don't think I'd have approved of that. But we didn't want him to spoil the surprise. Plus, the reaction on his face was just…"

The Tall Bombshell then bursts into laughter, falling off of the Confessional's chair. However, thanks to her height, though her butt is on the floor her head was still very visible to the camera.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**(Total Drama What is Real HQ)**

"Okay, so it's a no-go apparently with the Avatars. Anyway, now we finally move onto the Cyborgs, let's see how they're getting along…" Kevin says as he switches on the monitor that shows the Cyborgs…

* * *

**(The Crushing Cyborgs' Garage)**

Everyone in the Cyborg ranks are working on their respective tasks like a well-oiled machine to the tune of Depeche Mode's "Angel". **(2)** Everyone that is except the most important (in her mind, anyway) member of the Cyborgs, Melody.

"Will you shut that crap off already?!" She screams, throwing down her screwdriver.

"Hey, you're the one who put me in charge of the construction, so I pick the tunage, savvy?" Jay says, not even looking at Melody, instead rolling his eyes, and continuing to work on the engine's transmission. "Besides, no one else seems to mind it."

"I gotta agree with Melody on this one… I hate that gospel-like, base-heavy stuff." Katie says.

Melody raises her right brow in surprise, and then smiles. "See? Someone agrees with me."

Jay sighs in exasperation before saying with a growing grin, "Okay, is there anyone else who hates my taste in music? No? Okay then. Sorry Mel and Katie, you just got down-voted."

The Puppetmaster then goes back to the engine and asks, "Hmm… where's my socket wrench?"

With his hand stretched out, Jay feels the socket wrench being placed in his hand.

"Thanks man-AUUUUUGGGHH!" Jay starts to say before screaming as he looks behind him to see that Chris was inches from his head when he handed him his wrench back. Chris' mask freaks him out so much that he slams his face into the engine block, smearing engine grease all over his face, and leaving a deep gash on his left brow. Rob and Greg rush to his aid.

"Are you okay yo?!" Greg exclaims in concern as he picks up his fallen friend.

"Yeah, other than the blood in my eye and flowing down my face… I'm just FREAKIN' PEACHY!" Jay exclaims with angry, sarcastic venom.

"I-I… I didn't mean to scare you like that. I'm so, so sorry!" Chris exclaims distressed.

"IT-… It's okay man, you didn't mean any harm, and I know that… Heh could someone get me to the medic please? I can't see all that well… ya know, with the blood in my eye." Jay says, nearly losing it but miraculously keeping himself from exploding and revealing his true nature.

"I'll do it, come on man". Rob says as he takes Jay's arm over his shoulder, and guides him out of the Cyborg garage.

"Pfff… idiot. Well at least I can change that god-awful music now." Melody says, pulling Jay's I-Phone out of the dock, and putting hers in, putting on One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful" in its place.** (3)** Melody smiles and starts shaking her hips to the beat, snapping her fingers while doing so.

"Ahh… much better, okay everyone, back to work, chop chop guys!" Melody says as she dances her way back to where she was working with Greg.

While Melody might have been happy with the change in music, many others were not.

"Ughhh… why?!" Chris exclaims.

"I know right? Seriously?!" DJ whispers to Chris.

"I don't think it's that bad…" Katie says.

DJ and Greg blink.

"Chicks…" Greg mutters.

"I'm feeling, and hearing the pain, brother." DJ replies.

Melody overhears this and can't help but smile again as she resumes working.

* * *

(Static)

"That MOTHERFUCKER! He scared me out of my pants, and got three, count em' THREE STICHES on my left brow!" Jay screams in rage, pointing at the now stitched-up gash that extends a quarter of the way up his forehead.

"Some way, somehow, I'm gonna make that piece of SHIT PAY!" Jay yells at the top of his lungs.

(Static)

"Okay, that could've gone better. Chris, I know you don't mean to hurt Jay but I feel like you are gonna give me so many headaches… I can just hear Jay's ranting already…" Rob says defeated.

(Static)

"Guess who's "down-voted" now, huh moron?" Melody asks with a satisfied smirk on her face, arms crossed while looking downward at the camera.

"And that wasn't the only good thing about that turn of events. It seems that me and Katie of all people have a few similarities. I sense an easy alliance for Moi." Melody says tapping her fingers together, devious smile painted on her face.

(Static)

"I honestly prefer Mel's tastes to Jay's…that guy makes me uncomfortable all over, and that's quite a feat considering we ended up with Chris." Katie states sardonically.

"Plus, I get the feeling he's using Sadie for his own ends… whatever those are. Maybe I'm just paranoid but that's happened before, a guy said he liked Sadie when he really just wanted to use her to ask me out instead. Sadie was devastated; I've never seen her so hurt. I won't allow anything like that to happen again! I have my eye on you Jay… so you'd best behave!"

(Static)

"Am I really THAT unsettling?" Chris asks himself, genuinely clueless.

(Static)

"One Direction's "music", if you can call it that, should be considered a crime against humanity!" Greg exclaims while his voice and level of rage only increase as he continues.

"I despise them so much… they make Beiber's tunes sound masculine in comparison! Every time I hear a One Direction song, I wanna take an ice pick to my eardrums so I don't have to hear that crap anymore! DAMN YOU X FACTOR!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

**(Outside of the Pummelling Polygon's trailers)**

Kevin is standing near the two Polygon trailers, smiling into the camera. Unnoticed by him, two figures are in the background that are too far away to make out exactly who they are. The first is sneaking about while the second appears to only now notice the other person before fleeing.

Kevin noticed neither person as he started speaking to the camera next to him.

"Okay guys… now before we go and check out the teams' new rides, I have to switch you over to the biggest necessary evil in TV… COMMERCIALS! But don't go away; in fact, as incentive, I'll reveal that when we come back everyone will be forced into his or her swimwear for the race! In addition to that we have more action, more laughs, and of course, more drama after the break on TOTAL, DRAMA, WHAT IS REAL?" Kevin exclaims.

* * *

"Hey, kiddies!" Chef's horrid acting voice is heard over a shot of Chris McLean standing on the Dock of Shame, which based on the state of things places this ad sometime before the events of even the first season, "Would you, like a shot, at the Total Drama grand prize? Well what, are you doing, sitting on your keester? Send your, audition tape, to-"

By this point, McLean's trademark grin is interrupted.

"Oh for Pete's sake, Chef, I'LL do it!" Focusing back on the camera, the original host continues, "If you've got convenient footage of yourself failing horribly, doing something exceptionally boss, or just being a royal douche, we wanna see 'em. And don't worry if you aren't picked, we dispose of all the reject tapes in a safe, and completely discreet way to a place no one will ever find them."

"Hey Boss," a young intern comes into view holding a large rope tied to something off-screen, "where do you want these?"

"Right here is perfect." Says Chris, taking great care to drag out the "er" sound. They both walk off screen the way the intern came, and a wooden crate larger than the camera's scope wheels by with McLean pushing it and smiling toward the camera once more. "We're always looking for new suckers-, I mean talent! So don't be shy and keep those auditions coming!" Chris stops mid-view, but not before giving the crate one last push off the side of the dock.

* * *

**(The Team Garages and Boat Docks)**

"Okay guys and we're back! The contestants are about to reveal their rides to us… let's start with the Polygons!" Kevin says, now at the film-set's docks with most of the teenagers present.

"Okay Kevin, prepare for your mind to be blown!" Duncan exclaims grinning, now only clad in his black board shorts, and pulls back the sheet on the Polygons' creation, an awesome high-powered speedboat!

"Nice! Who did the paint-job?" Kevin asks as he is enamoured with the beautiful matte black, with a large teal raven in flight on the hood, the Polygons' team symbol in crimson underneath, and electric-blue lightning bolts running down the sides.

"Oh, that was Pasty and the new guy… what's your name again?" Duncan asks.

"It's Francisco, Duncan… for the fifth time." Francisco says in a clearly annoyed tone.

"Oh sorry man, mind if I just call you Franco instead? It's shorter and easier to remember." Duncan asks with a slight smile on his face.

"Ehh… that's what everyone called me at school; I guess it can work here too." Francisco replies shrugging his shoulders. He is clad in grey trunks and many, many tattoos… including the entirety of Francisco Goya's "The Sleep of Reason that Produces Monsters" on his washboard abs. **(4)**

"Is… is that 'The Sleep of Reason' on your chest?" Gwen asks, fascinated.

"Actually, it's the "Sleep of Reason that Produces Monsters", but yes it is." Francisco says with a grin. "I had a feeling you would be the first to catch that, you are after all a very talented artist yourself, and you could call me an admirer of yours. I was cheering for you during Island, you know. Although, I must be honest, I originally wanted to have as a tattoo one of Goya's "The Disasters of War" plates." **(5)**

"Oh, that would be cool! Some of those plates are so full of emotion that you can actually feel it, even though they are hundreds of years old and represent moments so difficult to even grasp. Why didn't you get one of them as a tattoo?" Gwen asks, actually smiling at the new contestant.

"Well, as much as I love those images, they would likely give people the wrong idea about me. Something about seeing scenes of death on a person's body would say, 'Hey, do you want to die?' Plus, I have a couple of younger sisters and I don't want them seeing a tree with the mutilated pieces of dead men hanging from it every time we go to the beach."

"I guess I could see that." Gwen says with a smirk. "But maybe you could have gotten the one with the man being forced upside down as a sword is forced on his-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Francisco says as he out of instinct covers his crouch, giving a hint as to where Gwen was going with that, even as he smirks back at the art loving Goth. "I might love art which is dark and unsettling to many but there are limits to what I can embrace, you know."

"Oh, so the image of the pieces of some men is not as extreme as a man losing a piece of him?" Gwen asks in a playful tone.

"Exactly chica!"

The two laugh and continue to discuss topics that were unsettling in a contrastingly cheerful tone for about a minute before Duncan comes over and stands between the Tattoo Artist and his girlfriend in her black bikini.

"Hey Franco, find your own girl to hit on!" Duncan says with some irritation in his voice.

"Oh, I am sorry I intruded… I just can't help but think you are a lucky man to have such a beauty as your love." Francisco says putting his hand on Duncan shoulder, and giving a sincere smile.

Gwen blushes, not use to meeting guys who were nice, handsome, and knowledgeable about art. Duncan grins in pride while Cody, in his red trunks, can't help but gag a little.

"Just keep your hands to yourself Franco, and we'll get along just fine." Duncan replies.

"Oh Duncan, I am nothing if not a gentleman. I won't attempt anything close to what you did with Courtney." Francisco replies with a sly smile on his face.

Duncan frowns and growls a little as he says with a strained smile, "Let's get our finishing touches done on the engine… I want her performing at her best."

At this, many of the other Polygons can't help but either grin, chuckle, or in Cody, Harold, and Leshawna's case, laugh their hardest.

"Oh yeah, laugh it up guys, laugh it freaking up." Duncan says seething.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Jesus, you get out of one bad relationship, and you're branded for life!" Duncan says in disgust. "Sure I could've handled it better, but YOU try being straight up honest with Psycho Princess, and see how YOU fare! I can guarantee that you won't come out of that conversation completely intact, either physically or mentally."

(Static)

"I didn't think I'd like any of the new contestants but I'm very impressed with Francisco. In addition to his love of morbid art, he is himself not so morbid as to be a jerk or a creep. If nothing else, at least this season has given me somebody who I can talk with at length about art for once." Gwen says with an honest smile.

But then her expression becomes much harder to read and her voice suddenly gets much softer. "But really I wish he hadn't brought up Courtney…"

(Static)

"I can sort of understand Duncan's twisted logic behind not being honest with either Courtney OR Gwen, but that doesn't make it any less cowardly or shameful." Francisco states with his arms crossed and disdain in his voice.

"Honestly, that sucio putrefacto bastardo should be far below Gwen's standards, or anyone's for that matter, but I am not one to interfere with another's love life… my family taught me better than that. Gwen will just have to discover this depressing truth herself. And that's a shame; she's a great girl, even if she's made a few bad choices. The best that I can do is to be her friend and be there to help her when the realization comes crashing down. " Francisco states deadpan. **(6)**

(Static)

"FINALLY! Someone states what's been all our minds all this time!" Cody says with his arms crossed in disdain. "Look, I don't like to think ill of anyone or criticize other people's opinions but for the past year I've seen hundreds of "Gwuncan" fans trying to justify them together!"

Then Cody looks dead into the camera, his face is somewhere between focused and vulnerable.

"I realize most of you likely think you know why I'm so strongly against Gwen being with Duncan. But I'm hoping that by the end of today, I'll be able to prove those people wrong."

Cody then brings head downward in shame. "Anyways, someday soon Gwen is going to realize what a slimy rat Duncan really is… I just pray to god she doesn't have a Courtney-esque meltdown when she does…that is the last thing I want."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Okay, onwards to the Cyborgs' ride… what do you guys have for us?" Kevin asks them.

"Oh, I am so glad you asked Kevin…" Melody says, clad in a violet bikini that matches her sunglasses, with Rob, who is in camo trunks, and Katie, who is in a black and white striped bikini. She pulls back the tarp on the Cyborgs' creation, a massive, shining fan-boat!

Britney, who is in a red bikini, can't help but laugh as she says mockingly. "That… that's it? That's what you guys made? You are so gonna get creamed!"

"Hey! I- I mean, WE all worked hard on this thing… it may not look as good as yours, but it's still polished to a shine, and looks can be deceiving, you just watch!" Jay exclaims as he walks up, clad in a creamy white set of board shorts. But that's not what catches the attention of most. What did that was the realization that Jay, like Francisco and Britney (a starburst stretching up her back, and a butterfly on her shoulder blade) also had tattoos. His were a crucifix on his left shoulder, a ying-yang symbol on his right, and Arabic script running across the top of his back, stretching across his shoulder blades.

"Okay, moving on to the Avatars… uh, where are they?" Kevin asks, scratching his head.

All of a sudden, everyone starts to hear the roar of a massive engine…but there's no boat?

Then another sound starts to be heard from the nearby garage where the Avatars had worked. At first no one can make out what it is…and then Carlyle recognizes it has music from a movie…Back to the Future. As the trumpets of the score reach their climax…

CRASH!

A hovercraft bursts out of the Avatars' garage like the Kool-Aid Man through a brick wall!

As everyone stares out in amazement, the hovercraft is brought to the dock with the boats.

Damian jumps out doing a double front flip, clad in black swimming trunks, lands and screams, "OH YEAH!"

The other teams are absolutely stunned…

"Is that a-" Kevin tries to ask.

"Yep, it's a hovercraft!" Nise says as she climbs out in a grey swimsuit.

"AWESOME! Now I understand why you guys cut off the camera's feed!" Kevin exclaims.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Britney exclaimed. "Isn't using a hovercraft and messing with the cameras going against the rules?"

"Yes, they are, technically. But I'm going to give the Avatars a pass on both accounts. While not a boat, this hovercraft can serve the same function as a boat. And I'll forgive the camera thing, as long as B promises to never do it again. Can you agree to that B?" Kevin says.

B nods his head, missing Britney's harrumph.

Kevin then returns his attention to the hovercraft. "I must say, this is very impressive, Avatars!"

"Of course it is! What else would you expect from a team with Noah, B, and Nise on it?!" Chris exclaims, clad in sunshine yellow board-shorts…and his white Comedy theater mask.

"Aw shaddup." Jay says, his eyes are looking at the ground in shame.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Freakin' show-offs… stealing my thunder! Nothing new to be found there!" Jay exclaims with a huge amount of disappointment in his voice.

However then his face and voice become much more prideful. "But there could be a bright side to this… I've done a little reading into the matter and it turns out that a hovercraft's turn radius is usually atrocious. And let's just say I never do anything half-way, I made sure our baby can turn on a dime."

(Static)

"Hmmm… they build a hovercraft out of nothing but spare parts? I'm really starting to think the "B" in B's name doesn't stand for "Beverly", but "Boss", because he totally is one!" Chris says.

(Static)

"Oh we are so royally screwed! I can't believe I let them talk me into building a fucking fan boat!" Melody exclaims.

(Static)

"Damn right we built a hovercraft! We are the best team ever! GO AVATARS!" Damian exclaims with unbridled enthusiasm. "WHA-HOO!"

(Static)

"I'm not worried in the slightest about that hovercraft, no, it is the Polygons' boat that has me worried. That thing is jacked-up… we're really gonna have to put the pedal to the metal if we want to win. I hope Jay, Chris, and I did enough to make her fly?" Rob says slightly worried.

(Static)

"I'm not worried about victory, not in the slightest! Our boat is so fast, victory will be as easy as me pulling a bunny out of this here hat." Mathieu says in his navy blue trunks and bandages wrapped his forehead and left eye. With a grin, he does indeed pull a rabbit out the top hat he's holding.

The bunny though, is not happy. It growls at him, and the color in his face drains away as it lunges at his face! "AHHHHHHGGHHH! GET IT OFF, GET OFF, GET IT OFF!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL **

* * *

"Okay guys, time to get to work on the finishing tou-uh, Avatars, where is Giavanna?" Kevin asks.

The Avatars look around and suddenly realize that the Tall Bombshell wasn't among them.

"Oh, I think she's still in the dressing room. I don't think she wants to come out." Dawn says.

"Uh?" Kevin says in confusion before knocking on the dressing room door. "Giavanna, are you in there?"

"Yes." Her voice is heard saying from the other side of the door.

"Are you going to come out?" Kevin asks.

"No. I can't let the others see me like this!" Giavanna says on the other end with absolute panic.

"Come on, my dear. I'm sure you look fine. Besides, if you don't, you'll cost your team the challenge."

After a few seconds, the door opened and the Tall Bombshell stepped out for all to see. Every pair of eyes were instantly drawn to the newly revealed girl. The reason was because she was clad in a lime-green bikini…that seemed at least one size too small. The amount of skin exposed was what would be imagined from Lindsay, if not just a little bit more than that actually. Noah and Damian looked as if they were going to die at any moment but be perfectly okay with that fate. And it wasn't just them, just about every male crouch suddenly became tighter and every male mind raced with filthy thoughts about the tall supermodel level-hottie wearing the small green bikini.

Said supermodel level-hottie looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock and die. But then some shouting distracted her from those thoughts. Justin, appearing to get a cell-phone out of nowhere, started shouting into it about a "finder's fee" before being chased by an angry Chef.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I must seem like such a slut by wearing this! But I'm not, honestly. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find swimsuits made for a girl of my age, height, and, um, proportions? It's not easy. I just hope that the others somehow don't think any less of me now." Giavanna says defeated.

(Static)

"I have a very extensive vocabulary but even I am at a total loss to find a single word that encapsulates how amazing Giavanna looked in that bikini!" Noah exclaims in wonder.

(Static)

"So much chestical region…so much exposed skin…" Damian says happily stupefied before adding with an equally large amount of subtlety, "WANT WANT WANT!"

(Static)

Justin is seen, once again arguing with whoever was on the other end of his cell-phone

"Yes, I want 35 grand for getting her to sign a contract…how hot is she? She gave me a boner! It's been years since I've seen a girl hot enough to give me an honest-to-god boner! She-"

The Male Model would have continued but Chef opened the Confessional door and smashed his cell-phone!

(Static)

"Why do I suddenly feel the impulse turn into the wolf from the 1943 cartoon "Red Hot Riding Hood", meaning that I want to hit myself on the head with mallet and howl wildly?" Carlyle says with a smirk.

(Static)

Chris pulls a large wooden mallet out of his body-covering robes, which he suddenly has on.

"Ah, me mallet." The Enigma says calmly before suddenly hitting himself on the head!

(Static)

"Ahwoooooooooooooooooo!" Izzy howls like a wild wolf. "Now Izzy really needs to know if they are real or not!" Izzy grins manically as she yells "We also match!" she exclaims is she is indeed clad in a similar lime-green bikini.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Ok…having seen this glorious sight, I think we're ready to begin the-" Kevin starts to say before…

"Hey, where's Ari?" Harold asks, looking around and being unable to locate the Ninja.

"Right Here." A voice says, a voice that none of the people present had ever heard before.

It was FEMALE!

Following it, the other teenagers and Kevin soon found who they were looking for, Ari, now fully revealed. As the brief opening in her mask confirmed, she had black skin and electric blue eyes. But many other features previously unknown were revealed. She had black hair tied into a long ponytail, long enough in the front to cover one of her eyes. Her lips were full and her chest was pretty small. She had a Japanese character tattooed on the side of her neck. And, as were the rules of the challenge, she was wearing a swimsuit…that oddly enough was white instead of the black that many would have imagined it would be.

Many were shocked by this reveal, but one was more shocked any other.

"Ari… you're a girl?!" Duncan exclaims in shock.

Hearing this, the newly revealed female Ninja frowns. "What Duncan? You only thought men can fight the way I can?" Ari asks, hands on her hips.

"Uh- n-no, that's not what I meant! I've dated, and AM dating a girl who can personally kick my ass ten ways before I even hit the floor. It's just that I've seen NO ONE fight or move the way you do… not even Izzy or Courtney… and they are spectacular martial artists!" Duncan says.

"Courtney, really? Just because she regularly kicked your sorry ass does not mean she's anywhere near my league. Compared to me… her hybrid combination of Kick-Boxing, Muay Thai, and Tai-Kwon-Do is like something a child would use." Ari replies with contempt. She then starts to walk past her still-stunned teammates as she says with disdain, "Now if you're done clumsily tripping over yourself in an attempt to cover your butt, why don't you get to work on that engine? We have a race to win, after all!"

"Ha, I totally called it!" Jay says with smug satisfaction to his buddies DJ, Rob, and Damian. "Okay guys, I totally won the bet… pay up!"

Rob, DJ, and Damian grumble as they hand him ten bucks each.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Well, I guess there's no longer any point in this voice changer that I brought for this season." Ari says, using her natural voice as she displays the machine that allowed her to make her voice previously impossible to use to pinpoint her sex. "I wish it weren't so expensive and useless by the second challenge. I could have used that money on some kick-ass shuriken instead!"

(Static)

"That is the second time today that I've been whipped by a girl on the squad, and one of which I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WAS A CHICK UNTIL A COUPLE MINUTES AGO! Sigh… today's shaping up to be one crap day for me…" Duncan states with a face-palm.

(Static)

"Wow… Ari has one wicked tongue! And she used it to lash Duncan…I like that!" Greg says with a smile.

(Static)

"Way to go gal! Don't feel the need to be submissive and weak!" Nanon says in approval.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Alright, now that we finally got all of the shocking reveals out of the way maybe we can-" Kevin tries to say before…

"ALRIGHT! WHICH ONE OF YA MUTHAFUCKERS DID IT!?" A voice violently roars.

"Oh, course there had to be one more…goddamn running jokes!" Kevin mutters under his breath.

As the host does so, Anna Maria comes storming towards her team with eyes like burning suns!

"Whoa…what happened Anna Ma-" Gwen starts to say in confusion before…

"DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF THAT! I'LL BET IT WAS YOU WHO DID IT, ANYHOW!"

"Did what?" Britney asks.

"SOMEONE HERE TOOK ALL OF MY HAIR SPARY!" Anna Maria shouts before displaying a single can of the ozone destroying vapours. "THIS IS THE ONLY ONE I HAVE NOW! SO WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT! IF YOU ADMIT IT, I LIKELY WON'T KILL YA FOR IT!"

"Anna Maria, please clam down." Duncan says, stepping forward despite the wrathful glares. "How about after the race we look for it? And find out who ever did this and why?"

Once he was closer to Anna Maria, the Delinquent adds in a whisper, "And vote them off."

Still looking mighty pissed, the Jersey Shore Reject calms down enough to say, "Fine!" in a voice that was still loud but much lower than what she had been previously shouting in.

Several of the Polygons look at the scene in confusion…and one looks at it with more than that.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"Is it just me or was that way too easy, ya'll? Somethin' fishy goin' on with those two, I bet." Leshawna says, baffled by the display.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

"Anyway, teams! Time for your final checkups before the race and the weights are added! Go!" Kevin says in a very rushed manner.

* * *

After that trinity of shockers, the teams finally get to work on the final tune-ups before the race.

The guys on the Cyborg fan boat are having a very interesting conversation…

"So, Rob… what ya think of Ari being a girl huh?" Jay asks.

"Eh… I don't really think much of it." The Sharpshooter says with a shrug.

"Come on, you don't think she's hot?" Jay pries.

"Dude, honestly… you have ogled almost every single chick here, kinda shameful, as Mama would say." DJ comments.

"Give me a break! It's not like I see this many attractive women in one place, in bikinis and swimsuits no less! Ari's an 8, Melody's a 10…"

"Of course you think she's a 10…" DJ mumbles to himself.

"I heard that, so DJ, who would you rate as the most attractive around here?" Jay asks, putting his buddy on the spot.

"Katie…" DJ says with a grin and a little blushing.

"Anyone else you think is hot other than Katie?"

"Alright Jay, I'll play your game. Gia over there is definitely a 10, but she's outta my league, I think. Britney's a 9, but she's not much for personality. I'd give Mel an 8. Izzy is WAY too crazy for my liking. I think of Gwen and Leshawna more as sisters than someone I would actually go out with. Dawn… is intriguing, if just a little creepy, I'll give her a 7. Mary's taken. Solita… I'd give an 8.5. Anne Maria actually looks tons better without that stupid hair-thing of hers, an 8. Nanon I would rate at a 7.5 or an 8… and that's about it." DJ says with some finality.

"So, Jay, what about you? Other than Ari and Melody, who do you like think is hot here?" Rob asks with a grin.

"That is the 2 million dollar question isn't it? Okay, I'll indulge you guys, since you're my buds on this team. Dawn is very hot in my opinion, but her aura reading is off-putting, to say the least, and I don't think she'd go for a guy like me…a solid 8 for me. Britney is a snobby bitch, but body wise she's a 9. Gia is a 9.5. Anne is much more appealing without that damn poof of hers… an 8. Katie is a 9…-"

"Damn right she is." DJ comments without fully realizing it.

"Ahem, anyways… after that, the only one left that isn't taken that piques my interest is Sadie." Jay continues.

"Really? I thought you didn't like her." Rob comments with a sly smile.

"Yeah, well she does annoy me, body-wise she ain't bad." Jay says as he waves at her in her black swimsuit. "Even big girls need a little love now and then." He says with a grin.

* * *

CONFESSIONAL

(Static)

"I honestly don't mind big girls… as long as they don't get on my nerves… like Sadie does constantly." Jay says. "As soon as she is no longer useful, I'm done with her."

(Static)

"Wow, Jay must really think me stupid to think I'm gonna fall for that…" Rob says with a roll of his eyes. "I'll smarten him up, and he won't even know it."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

Meanwhile, Katie and Melody are having a similar conversation…

"Sooo… you interested in anyone Melody?" Katie asks.

"Not really, sure there's plenty of eye candy here. Francisco, Erebus, Justin, Rob… but none of them are even close to even being in my league. Well maybe Erebus does come close, I guess?" Melody states in reply with a very slight smirk.

"Hmmm… what about Jay? Honestly, with his shirt off I get what Sadie was saying yesterday, he is kinda cute." Katie comments.

"Then why don't you go out with him then?" Mel asks in reply, somewhat bitterly.

"Because I have my eye on someone else…"

"DJ?"

"That obvious huh?" Katie replies.

"Katie honey, the only way it could be more obvious is if you were wearing an "I heart DJ" tee." Melody replies with a grin, patting her shoulder.

"You didn't answer my question Melody… could you ever imagine yourself with Jay? He does kinda seem like your type." Katie says teasingly.

"Eww! NO! He's a moron and so far out of my league he's in another galaxy!" Melody exclaims in disgust. "Moreover, I don't need no man to win, I can do that all by myself thank you!"

"So… if he wasn't such an idiot… you would like him?" Katie asks with a devious smile.

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" Mel replies a little louder than she should have.

Katie only smiles in reply, "You didn't have to."

Melody ended up gritting her teeth, with her arms crossed and face pink with embarrassment and anger.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"Messing with Melody is fun!" Katie exclaims laughing. But then she becomes slightly more serious. "Even though she is an awful lot like Heather, I don't think she's as bad as she was."

(Static)

"I do not like that dirty, perverted, idiotic, redneck punk wannabe, AND I NEVER WILL!" Melody exclaims with anger. "And to those of you wondering, there is a deeper aim with Katie. Of the people on this team, she's the one who's the most likely to join me in alliance. Thankfully, she also seems to be among the more bearable too. I don't want a repeat of Lindsay and Beth." With the mention of those two, Melody gags.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL **

* * *

"Okay, just one last thing to announce before the race begins. As you already know, each boat, or hovercraft, as it turns out, has had weights added to them based on the order in which they were build and passed the floatation test. Oh, and a quick side note, Avatars, you can use that hovercraft so long as it remains at the same level as the boats. If you go higher, you will be disqualified, understood?" Kevin says.

After the Avatars nod their heads, Kevin continues.

"Very good! Anyway, onto the weights! Avatars, you finished first so you get a mere added fifty pounds. Cyborgs, you finished roughly an hour after them so you get one hundred pounds. Polygons, thanks to your many arguments at the beginning, you barely made it in time, but you still did so you get one hundred and fifty pounds.

"Okay guys, time's up! Time to race! Please pick a driver and get ready!" Kevin announces.

* * *

"Okay Doris, since I was in charge, I get to drive my baby." Duncan says with a smile.

"Sigh… fine Duncan…" Harold says before asking himself in little more than a whisper, "Why did I put him in charge again?"

* * *

"I think B should drive. All in favour?" Joseph asks.

Everyone raises their hands, except for Damian.

"It's decided then… B drives!" The Avatar's team captain exclaims.

B smiles while Damian groans in disappointment.

* * *

"I'm the Captain!" Melody yells.

"And I'm the one you put in charge of the project, so I know her best, so I should drive!" Jay says.

"I'm the one who put you in charge, and I have more experience than you driving boats!" Mel replies back passionately.

"Why don't we settle this like the mature people we are, with a coin toss. I call tails by the way." Jay says, pulling out a silver dollar out of his pocket.

Melody smiles "You're on, heads then".

Jay tosses the coin, and it lands on the deck tails first.

Jay smiles as he says, "Looks like I win babe, I drive."

"The only way I'll be your "babe" is in your dreams, idiot!" Melody exclaims poking at his chest.

He only grins as he picks up the dollar coin and says, "You're already in my dreams babe, oh and this is my lucky dollar, guess I should've told you that sooner huh?"

After saying that, the Puppetmaster flips it again, catches it, kisses it and takes his place in the fan boat's driver's seat.

Melody is too choked up to say anything more, so she just jumps in the boat with the rest of the team, and crosses her arms scowling.

* * *

**(Boat Race Starting Line)**

All of the drivers looked out at the watery racecourse before them. In some ways it resembled a wide river, flowing currents that didn't break the surface tension pushed gently along its length. There was easily enough space for all three vehicles to maneuver around each other if need be. It was full of many tiny turns with the exception of three sharp turns roughly the same distance apart that each had some straight water-filled track leading into them. The length of the third part of the raceway was littered with buoys that bobbed in nearly still current.

"All right, after what feels like forever…we finally come to the boat race! Ok…on your marks." Kevin starts to say. In the space between these and his next words, the three boats are revved up. "Get set…GO!"

All three vehicles rocket forward, gliding along the clear surface those moments ago was still!

The efforts of the three teams seem to have been fruitful…all three of them were doing well. Any distance gained on the others only lasted for a few seconds and was measured in mere inches.

The Polygons briefly feel the breeze created by the Cyborg's fan boat on their faces. The Cyborgs hear a faint humming coming from the Avatar's hovercraft they could not explain. The Avatars smell the thick smoke being forced out of the Polygon's speedboat's exhaust pipe.

At the controls of the hovercraft, B notices some resistance when they reach the first sharp turn. Then the Silent Genius realized why…the weight of their boat. While they had been given the lightest added weight, the Avatars had the overall heaviest team; B, Giavanna, and Owen all weighted over 200 pounds (with B and Owen each just barely being shy of 300 pounds). As a result, this weight was affecting the hovercraft's already questionable turn radius capabilities.

The Hovercraft for the first time since the race started was greatly surpassed by the others. B's face flashed overwhelming concern…for about two seconds. After that, B remembered that he and Nise had realized this and planned accordingly. With his confident expression returning, B presses a few buttons and quickly finds that he's once again neck and neck with the other teams.

Noticing this, Jay is horrified. 'Damn it! I thought it would take them much longer to get back here. They must have been smarter than I guessed…and I was aiming pretty high in that regard!'

This sense of horror only increased as the race continued along the second part of straight waterway as the boats were once again neck to neck…and then they weren't all neck to neck!

The Polygon's speedboat was starting to maintain a noticeable distance from the other teams. But that wasn't what filled Jay with growing fear.

Despite preforming admirably, the Cyborg's fan boat was starting to fall behind the others!

The many tiny turns were starting to have an effect on the overall speed of the fan boat. By the time they were approaching the straight stretch before the second sharp turn, they realized this.

Melody, starting to feel the fear of losing another challenge and being denied five hundred dollars, shouted, "Jay, ram the hovercraft!"

Shaken out of his own stupor by this, the Puppetmaster says, "Uh, Mel, I really don't think-"

"I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO THINK! I TOLD YOU TO RAM THAT HOVERCRAFT!"

With a roll of his eyes and not having a better idea, Jay says "Sorry Damian, but I have to win this time" and then strikes the Avatar's hovercraft!

Hitting them on an angle from behind, Jay caused the Avatars to enter a PIT-type maneuver as they started speeding out of control. B struggled to keep it on the same level as the boats. But with some help from Giavanna (who had been told the hovercraft's controls) he kept it level.

Within seconds of the collision, Jay noticed something; the struggle of the hovercraft was causing waves of decent size to be created and rolling away from the vehicle at great speed.

Using the water forced upward by the efforts of the hovercraft to recompose itself, the fan boat rocketed over the crest of the miniature waves and found itself speeding right past the Polygons!

That same speedboat found itself being affected by the same waves created by the hovercraft. But unlike the Cyborgs, the effect it was having on them was negative, causing them to struggle. By the time they had reclaimed control, they noticed that the Cyborgs and Avatars were ahead.

Still driving the speedboat, Duncan began to feel panic rush over him. If they lost, he was done! The others would vote him out for sure! There had to be a way to prevent that…

He found his answer when he saw Anna Maria, despite the speed at which they were moving, spray her hair with the can of hairspray from earlier. A light bulb flashed in Duncan's mind.

"Ari, take the wheel!" Duncan says as he lets go of the wheel, causing the boat to wobble until the Ninja was able to use her great speed to reach it and return stability to the speedboat.

"Hey, Jersey Shore! Give me that hair spray!" Duncan shouts as he approached Anna Maria.

"Oh no you ain't! This is ma last one! Like Hell you takin' it from me!" Anna Maria shouted.

As she struggled with Duncan for the can, he shouted, "We need it to give this boat a speed boost! If we don't use it, we'll lose another challenge!"

"I don't care about any stinkin' challenge or this crummy team!" Anna Maria roared in anger.

In the struggle between Duncan and Anna Maria, one of the Polygons was knocked overboard.

The identity of this Polygon was revealed when Cody shouted in horrified shock,** "GWEN!" **

Looking around quickly, the Tech Geek found some rope and tied one end around his waist. As he was mentally thanking himself for his rope tying classes, he gave the other end to Francisco. Without a moment's hesitation, Cody jumped off of the speeding speedboat and swam forward.

Still reeling in shock from what had happened, the Tattoo Artist found the rope being tugged on. Acting on instinct, he started to pull the robe in and soon found Leshawna helping him pull it.

With both of them pulling, Cody was soon back on the boat…with Gwen being held tightly.

Moments after Gwen was back on the boat and starting to buckle a seatbelt, Duncan had finally managed to wrestle the hairspray away from Anna Maria. Knowing he had only seconds to react before the Jersey Shore Reject charged at him, Duncan used all of the hairspray to charge the engine.

Within microseconds the speedboat took off with a speed far greater than the other two boats as it rocketed through the second sharp turn! The speedboat seemed mighty and invincible, until…

CRASH!

Sadly for them, in his hurried panic Duncan failed to realize that over-charging the engine then would send them flying directly into one of the buoys that littered the third part of the raceway!

The speedboat made direct contact with the buoy, completely crumping its front. The engine died. Gwen, Duncan, and Anna Maria had been sent by the force of the hit onto the metal buoy. All three were knocked out as their bodies were stuck to it. None of them escaped uninjured. Gwen developed a deep gash on her forehead. Duncan had a broken nose and cuts on his face. Anna Maria would later discover that she had a few broken ribs and a minor concussion.

Within seconds of this collision, Kevin's voice was heard, seeming to not notice this crash yet.

"And the Cyborgs win the challenge! With the Avatars coming in right behind them! Good job guys! Now let's have a look at the**-MOTHER OF GOD! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?" **

Realizing what he was referring to, the Avatar's brought their hovercraft to pick up the Polygons, from either the buoy or their speedboat which was now both dead and slowly starting to sink.

As the majority of the Avatars helped the Polygons, one of them looked over the edge into the water. The expression looking back at Nise was one of shame. Even after doing her best, the Avatars didn't win.

But the small Japanese girl didn't have long to think about this as suddenly someone grabbed her from behind and pulled her into a very tight hug. Despite Nise's struggling and fearful squeaks, the person hugging her failed to notice either as she happily says, "Don't worry, Izzy's got ya! Aw, don't be so glum! You did well, our little Sweet n' Sour Roll Girl!"

"Uh, Izzy. I'm sure you didn't mean it as such but that's kind of racist." Noah says to her.

"Oh silly Noah, everyone knows that it's not racist if it's true." Izzy counters before shocking Noah by licking Nise's face, to see if it was actually "sweet and sour".

By now Nise was in full-blown panic mode and whimpering pathetically as she tried to escape Izzy. However, her efforts appeared to be useless, as Izzy didn't tighten her grip any but still held Nise. Also in being repeated was Izzy being oblivious to the turmoil within the little brilliant girl.

"Yuck! She tastes like cats and skin cream! Sorry wittle wunderkind, Izzy didn't mean to be racist. Izzy loves all races...even races to the bathroom!" The Wild Redhead says just as happily.

"Anyway," Kevin says, trying to repress the look of horror at seeing what Izzy just did to Nise, "Polygons, you lost again! And you know what that means! In a few hours, its elimination time!"

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL **

(Static)

"Only Izzy could turn total racial acceptance into something terrifying." Noah says shocked. "And of course Izzy would know what cats and skin cream taste like…and some people don't believe that she dated Owen!"

(Static)

Nise is trembling and manically looking around, as if afraid that someone would surprise her.

"A-a-an-an-and I tha-thou-thought Izzy was sc-sca-ar-ary be-fore!"

(Static)

"It feels so good to be vindicated, wouldn't you agree?" Melody asks the camera. "Thanks to my brilliant leadership, my team won and I got five hundred dollars after only the second challenge."

(Static)

Gwen is seen with her head mostly healed but her holding an ice pack over her forehead.

"Duncan, I know you didn't mean to but you are going to suffer for this later!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

(Outside of Crushing Cyborgs trailers)

Having won their first challenge, the second challenge overall, the Cyborgs were celebrating. Only one Cyborg was not present and that was because he left mere moments ago unnoticed. Despite their opinions of certain teammates, they were all in good spirits near their trailers.

"Told ya we'd win." Jay says with a huge grin. "Now how about a victory hug, Melly?"

"In your dreams! We nearly LOST because you and your idiot entourage didn't make the engine powerful enough, and that was spur of the moment anyways!" Melody exclaims.

Jay half-smirks as he says, "Really, not even a 'Good job Jay'? You're sure disrespectful to your team. We could always gang up on you and boot you out you know..."

Mel's eyes go wide, realizing the truth in Jay's statement. Then she sighs and says, "Well I guess without your... expertise, we would've never had a chance so..." Melody kisses him on the cheek and adds, "Thank you"

The sudden shift lead many to question the sincerity of that gesture. But Jay didn't care.

"Your quite welcome, Milady." Jay says with a bow and a grin, to the eye rolls of the entire team. He then asks with a grin, "Now, is it REALLY that hard to be civilized with me?"

"You certainly don't make it easy on yourself." Mel replies arms crossed.

"But that's the beauty of it." Jay says.

"How so?"

"You're cute when you're angry." Jay says with a mischievous grin.

Heather's sister displays a thunderstruck face of absolute revulsion. But then Mel suddenly smiles nastily as she kicks him right in the balls! Jay crumples to the ground, groaning in pain.

Melody bends down, pulls off her shades, and says, "So how cute am I now, idiot?"

As the Mirror Image walks away, Rob and Carlyle help the Puppetmaster to his feet.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"It's official... I don't like that look." Jay says clutching his jewels. "It can only entail something bad." Jay manages a pained grin as he a says "But she did bend down far enough for me to get a good look at her cleavage… so I evens out for me".

(Static)

"Once again, his mouth gets in the way of Jay's better judgment. Does he seriously say everything that instantly pops into his head?" Rob asks himself before shrugging. "Probably".

(Static)

"Um, the lady I am so enraptured with is willing to exploit the feelings of another so shamelessly. It makes me ponder if I should pursue Melody, if only I had the gift of prophecy." Erebus says, looking conflicted.

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

At the same time as Jay was having the chances of their being a Jay Jr. lessened, another person on the other side of the film lot from another team was feeling a pain that was very different but possibly even stronger.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

Cody is seen, staring down at a black bra in his hands with eyes more vulnerable than they have ever been seen before. Then he looks into the camera and says, "You know, I used to worship this thing...but since World Tour ended, I've come to realize just how creepy and perverted I was being during Total Drama Island. No wonder girls don't like me…have never liked me…"

The shame within his normally cheerful voice is thick and he looks down at the Confessional floor. When his eyes are visible again, tears are starting to form and glisten around them.

"I'm no better than Sierra now... I know what I have to do, as much as I don't want to."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL **

* * *

(Medical Tent)

After sometime searching through the medical tent, Cody finally found Gwen…alone.

With some trepidation, the Tech Geek began to slowly walk towards the injured Goth. Hearing his footsteps; Gwen looked up and noticed him approaching. She developed a slight scowl.

'So, Cody, it begins now…the relentless advances and put-downs?' Gwen thinks to herself.

Thanks in part due to the pain still erupting from her forehead, even under an icepack, Gwen nearly hissed as Cody was almost to her. "Cody, I am so not in the mood to be hit on by you!"

Hearing that and seeing the wrathful gaze cast his way, Cody froze up, nearly forgetting why he was there to begin with. Nervous and caught off-guard by Gwen's bluntness, Cody spoke to her.

"No no no," Cody says waving his hands in protest as if that would actually do anything. "I'm not here to hit on you, I swear!"

Gwen simply stared at Cody, her teal eyes seeming like cold steel due to their intensity.

"Then why are you here?" The Goth says, her voice conveying powerful doubt about that.

"I just wanted to say three words to you…that's it. After that, I'll leave you alone, if you like."

Gwen didn't say anything for nearly thirty seconds; she merely stared at Cody as if studying him.

"Well…what do you have to say?"

Cody paused for a few seconds before sighing. Clearly Gwen wouldn't even take him returning it seriously. But maybe if he could just say the words he knew he needed to, later he could do so?

The Geek Tech gulped hard, he started to become sweaty and his hands started to faintly tremble. Here it was…Cody was about to say the hardest thing he ever had in his sixteen years of life.

"Gwen…I-I'm sorry."

Without even looking at Gwen's reaction, Cody began to leave the medical tent room at a brisk speed. And for this reason, the Tech Geek completely missed her unrivaled look of shock.

But then something stopped him dead in his tracks. What did this was Gwen saying bluntly, "Hold it."

Turning back around, Cody saw that now it was Gwen who was caught-off guard. She had an eyebrow raised in curiousness as she asks, "What exactly are you sorry for, Cody?"

Sighing, Cody began to speak as he slowly reached his original position very close to Gwen.

"I'm sorry for all of the creepy things that I did to you during Total Drama Island. Always following you around, endlessly hitting on you, sniffing your hair, and…and asking for your bra." Cody says, his voice growing more regretful with every offense listed off.

Gwen stared at Cody in even greater shock, not believing what she was hearing as he continued.

"Dealing with Sierra during World Tour forced me to realize how I must have seemed to you. And if you even felt a fraction of the discomfort and paranoia I did, I can't say how sorry I am. If I had realized at the time how much of a pest I was, I would have stopped after the very first day. I realize that I have no right to ask but can you forgive me for all of those actions? Could we become friends, real friends, Gwen?" Cody says with his voice the saddest Gwen had ever heard it, until that last sentence. Within those words alone, there was something resembling hope.

Those last words seemed to hover in the air as silence reigned there for a few minutes. Both Cody and Gwen seemed unable to know how to proceed. For Gwen, this was because she was trying to sort through her conflicted feelings about Cody, in particular after this turn of events.

When Gwen finally spoke the silence, her voice was initially slow, as if gathering the words the moment before they were said.

"One, even at your worst during Total Drama Island, you were never as bad as Sierra was to you. Two, you put your feelings for me aside when you realized I liked Trent and actually helped us get together. Three, hearing you just now shattered all of my preconceptions of you, Cody. You've matured quite a bit…I'm seriously impressed.

"So, yes, I forgive you and I actually do think we could become friends Cody."

At hearing that, Cody's face instantly radiated with the happiness normally found on it. For the first time ever, Gwen actually found its positive energy to be a little contagious as she flashed a brief smile as well. And this in turn made Cody smile more…she had a beautiful smile.

After roughly a minute of mostly silence, Gwen found a nagging thought entering her head. Seeing as how Cody was shocking her so much right now anyway, she decided to ask him.

"Cody…how do you feel about me being with Duncan?"

Cody sighed, his cheerfulness drained from his face the moment Gwen asked him that question. Part of him knew that this question, or one like it, was likely inevitable and had to be answered.

"To be perfectly honest, with you, as a friend…I hate the idea of you being with him more than anything. To me, Duncan is the worst example of a human being this show as ever coughed up, even worse than Alejandro, Heather, or Scott. He's not even close to worthy of someone as amazing as you. I'm afraid that eventually he'll do to you what he did to Courtney, that he'll eventually hurt you too. And I really hope me saying this shows how serious I am about being your friend, since I know damn well that me saying this here and now probably blows all chances of future consideration."

Gwen was once again stunned and before she could speak, Cody still had a final thing to say.

"But it's your decision who you go out with, Gwen. As long as you're happy, I'm happy." Cody says, displaying that gap-toothed smile of his. But what confused Gwen the most were Cody's eyes. Those teal orbs looked both so sincere and so sad at the same time.

Neither of them spoke for a few moments. No voice is heard until…

"What are you doing here, geek?" A new voice asks, irritated.

Turing towards the entranceway, Cody and Gwen see Duncan, with several stitches on his face and a bandage on his nose. The Delinquent walks up to the Tech Geek and the Goth.

Cody sighs again, deciding that he had to endure one last sacrifice, offer up one last comfort.

"To return something long overdue." Cody says as he reaches into one of his pockets.

Both Duncan and Gwen look with confusion as Cody reveals Gwen's black bra from TDI.

"Gwen, take this back. I should've never taken it in the first place, and I'm so, so sorry I did." Cody says as he drops it into her hands.

Turning to the Delinquent, Cody adds, "Good luck with her Duncan... cause I ain't worthy of her. You may be a cheat and total scum, but you at least aren't a perverted, stalkerish freak like me."

That floored both Duncan and Gwen. And it was Gwen who was the more affected of the two as she thought while staring at the bra that had just been returned, 'Even after all of those horrible things he said about Duncan, did he actually give him his blessing!?'

As Gwen's mind dwelled on this, Duncan recovers faster and says, "T-thanks I guess."

Having finally done what he came here to do, Cody turned around and started to walk out. He put his hands in his pockets and held down his head. Finally not presenting his face to anyone else, Cody allowed the tears from since he made this decision to start streaming down his face.

Finally snapped out of her trance, Gwen tries to call out to Cody but Duncan puts his hand on her shoulder. In a rare moment of compassion and understanding, the Delinquent says, "Whatever he's going through Pasty, you can't help him with. He has to sort out his problem himself."

Gwen looks back at Cody one more time, and then follows Duncan as they walk away.

Unknown to all of them, Greg had been outside of the medical tent and had heard everything. He had come to check on his sister. But without seeing her, he developed a pretty good idea of that.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I know what the Gee-Cody, is going through... I had to take a good, long look in the mirror after World Tour. I was a total coward for what I did to Courtney. You know, I use to think of trying to apologize to her but I know that it would be futile to try." Duncan says in shame.

The Boy with the Green Mohawk then punches the mirror behind the camera, shards flying all over the place, looks way from the camera, and walks off.

(Static)

"I-I really don't know what to say...but that's always been the case with Cody. From the very beginning, he was this terrible enigma and wrestling with that has torn me up inside ever since." Gwen says, her teal eyes look more conflicted than they ever have before this show's cameras.

"He never took the hint, even after I hooked up with Trent that I wasn't into him…but he still set me up with Trent anyway and ever since he's done everything he could for me even though I've never indicated that I had any interest in him. I know I should still be mad that he even took it in the first place... but after what he did for Duncan and me today, and that look on his face..." Gwen says, with a look of pure sadness and pity as she briefly looks down at the bra.

"You could almost hear his heart break... there's no way I can hold a grudge after that. Part of me still stubbornly fights the idea but I'd like to think that I could become actual friends with Cody. He's clearly matured a lot since Total Drama Island." Gwen says before smiling as she adds.

"This thing is actually cleaner than the day he took it... creepy yet endearing at the same time."

(Static)

"While being the object of affection for so many fan girls has caused Cody much hardship, its seeing things like that which remind me why that is so in the first place. I mean, COME ON!" Greg exclaims to the camera, as if being questioned for his views.

"He gives Gwen back her bra and apologies for his pervious behavior! I truly adore Cody but even I sometimes struggle with a few of his actions during TDI. But now, seeing that validated an opinion that I've had for a while and I've already said in this Confessional…Cody is unquestionably the right kind of guy for my great big sis! Despite whatever guilt Duncan might or might not feel over Courtney, do you see him doing any selfless actions to actually make up for it? I don't think so! I swear now, with this Confessional and all of those watching me as my witness, I'll do all I can to give Gwen the guy she deserves and will treat her right!"

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL**

* * *

For the second time in a row, the Pummelling Polygons found themselves sitting on the uncomfortable wooden bleachers of the film lot. For Gwen, this was both her first time and not…sitting here brought back bad memories of her break up with Trent during TDA. Trying to ignore those memories, the Goth brought her attention to Kevin who was walking to the podium.

"Well, well, well…what have we here? Polygons, two times in a row, seriously? I thought for sure that the addition of Gwen would have at least made you capable of getting second place. But then again, the reasons you are here have nothing to do with the newest member of your team.

"Harold, this challenge was your first test as team captain and you failed by handing the responsibility over to another. Duncan, you were the person who lead the Polygons into painful defeat, even though you were clearly very knowledgeable in the subject that was the challenge. Anna Maria, though you showed a moment or two of helpfulness, your selfishness was not only part of the reason why your team lost but it also needlessly endangered one of your teammates. And as for the rest of you, while you didn't do anything majorly wrong, pretty much none of you did anything majorly right either. Keep that mind…that no one is obviously safe, won't you?" Kevin says with a smirk, trying to make sure no one felt too safe despite knowing the results.

None of the Polygons said a word as the new host gestured to the tray of treats on the podium. Realizing this, Kevin continued his speech for his second Total Drama elimination with, "Despite your overall bad performance, all but one of you will receive a Gilded Marshmallow. As you can guess, the person who doesn't get a marshmallow will leave in the Lame-o-Sine."

The eyes of each teen stared at the ancient vehicle as it wheezed in waiting for its next victim.

"Let's begin. Gwen, Cody. Since you were the most endangered or the noblest, respectively, I think it's very fitting that you two be the first receive your Gilded Marshmallows!"

Both the Goth and Tech Geek caught their treats. The awkwardness of when they looked at each other was balanced out by the deliciousness of their reward.

"Since I know it couldn't have been easy for you to reveal yourself, Ari, here you go!" The female Ninja, now clad in Black Sailor Fuku **(7)** with a red skirt and white flats, while still having her Nijakas strapped to her back, easily caught her Gilded Marshmallow and finished it within seconds.

"Despite your speedboat crashing and sinking, the design of the paintjob was truly top notch. And for that, Francisco, I happily offer the next reward!"

The Tattoo Artist caught it, and after happily looking at Gwen and Cody, who both smiled, he ate his chocolate covered marshmallow.

"Having stretched this out for long enough before the final two, here you go Britney, Staci, Harold, Leshawna, and Mathieu!"

As the five teens enjoyed their treats, everyone realized something…only two people remained. However, who those two people were didn't shock any of them.

"Anna Maria, Duncan…for one of you, you will have only received one Gilded Marshmallow overall. And the person who will receive a second Gilded Marshmallow will be…"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." Gwen gave Duncan's hand a comforting squeeze.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." Anna Maria stares at the remaining Gilded Marshmallow.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Duncan!"

As the Criminal caught his Gilded Marshmallow, a thunderous scream filled the air!

Looking at the source of the scream, Anna Maria, they saw that her eyes were forming tears.

"You voted for me ova him!? You ain't no team! All ya's are is a bunch of quisling backstabbers just waitin' for a chance to tear inta each other! And ya prove it by savin' the worst one of ya! Duncan was in-a alliance with me and Jo since day one!" Anna Maria shouts in total fury.

At hearing this every pair of eyes within the Polygons turned towards Duncan, looking as if they wanted to kill him. Gwen lets go of his hand in horror and revulsion. And in all honestly, Duncan almost wished that he were dead at this moment.

"Oh he didn't mention that little detail, did he? Guess there's a squealing rat among the snakes. Good luck cleaning up the mess Duncan, you'll need it! No one stabs Anne Maria Sylvia Cantellano in the back and gets away with it...** NO ONE!**" The Jersey Shore Reject says with a malicious smile despite it coming out in an enraged sob. She rushes over to the Lame-o-Sine fast.

After seeing the display, several of the Polygons felt ashamed for the turn of events.

* * *

**CONFESSIONAL**

(Static)

"I should have known that Duncan would do something so heinous…GOSH! That's it! No matter what happens, no matter who messes up during the challenge, the next time the Polygons lose I'm going to personally make sure that Duncan is the one who goes!" Harold says enraged.

But the Nerd's face becomes one more so of confusion than anger.

"If it wasn't for Anna Maria losing her hairspray, I'm confident that Duncan would have been eliminated, or we wouldn't have come in last place again. I wonder what happened to it?"

(Static)

Sadie is looking at the camera. Her normally bubbly self is absent, replaced by a look of fear.

"Earlier I-I, I, like, saw-I saw Solita…taking Anna's hairspray! I'm, like, unsure what to do. I should tell someone on the team, but I don't really know anyone outside of Owen, and he's not good at keeping secrets. Maybe I, like, should keep this close to the vest, I think that's the saying, till I can figure who is and who isn't trustworthy, which hopefully won't take long?" Sadie says before adding a few seconds later, "I guess that's my plan then."

Then the fatter and whiter BFF opens the Confessional door and walks out. A few seconds later, another person jumps into the chair. The camera reveals that this person is a grinning Solita.

The Orphan without saying a word reveals a can of hairspray and starts throwing it up into the air while catching it with the same hand. Her eyes are not even looking at it for even a second.

Without saying a word, she confirmed that Sadie told the truth, that she sabotaged Anna Maria!

"So Sadie knows huh? This could get very dicey for me... I can't let her tell ANYONE! Far too much hangs in the balance…I will NOT be denied what is rightfully mine but now withheld!" Solita says before adding with finality, "Looks I found my next tally on the scoreboard."

(Static)

**END OF CONFESSIONAL **

* * *

Kevin is seen on the borders of the film lot with no one else around as he speaks to the camera.

"And so, another challenge brings another Pummelling Polygon into the dreaded Lame-o-Sine! And here I would have wagered them to be one of the better teams? Aw well, maybe all they need is the right change in pace. If they do, they'll be pleasantly surprised. You see the next challenge is quite the game-changer! What do I mean by this? You'll have to find out next time! And while you're at it, consider some other questions too. What will become of Duncan now that his alliance with Jo and Anna Maria was exposed? Will Ari's gender being revealed have any effect? Can Gwen and Cody honestly become friends? And will it be possible to get Giavanna into that amazing bikini again? Find out the answers to some of these questions next time on Total! Drama! What is Real!"

* * *

**ELIMINATION CONFESSIONALS**

(Static)

"I swallowed my pride because I thought you could bring us to victory, Duncan. I was wrong. Even when given a challenge that you should excel in, you leave nothing but pain in your wake. Hopefully the others will see reason and vote you off of this team as well." Harold says.

(Static)

"'Tween him disrespecting Harold, hurting my girl Gwen, and costin' us the challenge…I have no choice but to get Duncan's nasty white ass outta here!" Leshawna says fuming in anger.

(Static)

"While I'm mad at Duncan for what happened today, I acknowledge that it was that pompous, ozone destroying skank who actually knocked me off of the boat! So I vote for Anna Maria. Maybe getting rid of her might help the environment, even if only slightly?" Gwen says fuming.

(Static)

"I vote Anna Maria, she'll be no near as useful as Duncan in the long term." Ari says simply.

(Static)

"As much as I'd like to get rid of Duncan, I must vote for Anna Maria instead. It's because of her that Gwen was injured and might have drowned if I didn't think quickly and save her life!" Cody says, showing more anger than he likely has at any point in his entire life.

(Static)

"As if her personality wasn't grating enough, the Jersey Gal flat out said she didn't care about this team winning challenges. While money's not a concern, I hate losing. Best to vote her off." Britney says, not reacting with nearly the same passion as the others who had voted for her.

(Static)

"Ever since TDI ended, a certain light has been missing from Gwen. After hooking up with Duncan, I didn't see any glimpse of it until my little chat with her today. It's still in there and I feel like Duncan's presence is keeping it trapped. So for that and ramming our boat directly into a buoy, I vote for Duncan. Hopefully reason won't fall asleep this time before that monster." Francisco says, purposely bringing up the Goya piece that sparked his conversation with Gwen.

(Static)

"A magician doesn't like to repeat the same trick two shows in a row…unless it's the seemingly popular 'Make the Bitches Disappear' trick. As you might guess, I vote for Anna Maria." Mathieu says.

(Static)

"Anna Maria is, like, a jerk. But Duncan's an even bigger one! I vote for Duncan. He's like my-" Staci starts to say before the camera cuts her off before another long tirade about her family.

(Static)

"I have no delusions about this elimination ceremony. It will come down to either the Snooki-wannabe or me. So, naturally, I vote for her. I just hope no one finds out about our alliance." Duncan says.

(Static)

"Everyone already hates Duncan. There's no way he's gonna stay after today! I vote for him." Anna Maria says.

(Static)

**END OF ELIMINATION CONFESSIONALS**

* * *

**Total Votes:**

**Anne Maria: 6**

**Duncan: 5**

**Eliminated: Anna Maria (Final Bonus Cash Amount: $0)**

* * *

**Eliminated: Alejandro (For Now), Scott (For Now), Jo, Anna Maria**

* * *

**Current Team Members and Current Bonus Cash Amounts:**

**The Pummeling Polygons: Harold ($0), Duncan ($0), Cody ($0), Mathieu ($0), Britney ($0), Ari ($0), Leshawna ($0), Francisco ($0), Staci ($0), and Gwen ($0).**

**The Assaulting Avatars: Noah ($500), Giavanna ($500), Damian ($500), Solita ($500), Dawn ($500), Nise ($500), Mary ($500), Owen ($500), Joseph ($500), Izzy ($500), Sadie ($500), and B ($0)**

**The Crushing Cyborgs: Chris ($500), Katie ($500), DJ ($500), Melody ($500), Jay ($500), Greg ($500), Rob ($500), Justin ($500), Nanon ($500), Erebus ($500), and Carlyle ($500).**

* * *

**Co-author's Notes: Rufus T. Serenity here! So, thankfully this challenge was concluded much quicker than the first. But we hope you enjoyed it all the same. I have two announcements to make. One, just in case it's not clear, the two big reveals are Ari being a girl (good job NerdyBarista for guessing this since chapter 1) and Cody giving Gwen back her bra and trying to move on. I'm very curious to see what you guys thought of those two reveals. Two, the next challenge is indeed going to be a big game changer. I won't say what it is but I will say that parts of it have been written for months now and of all of the planned out challenges so far, it might be the one that I'm personally the most proud of. :) **

**(1) Mierda means "shit" in Spanish. But it can also be combined with other words and have the same spelling, so in this case it's "Holy Shit".**

**(2) I've gotten heavily into Depeche Mode's music lately, and "Angel" is among the best. They are a great band, the opposite of One Direction.**

**(3) I despise One Direction, including "What Makes You Beautiful", with a passion, their "music" makes Justin Bieber sound like Mozart, and yeah, Harry Styles and Zayn Malik, the "leads" of the group started out on the British X-Factor, so you have Simon Cowell to blame for their musical atrocities.**

**(4) Hello, Rufus here for this note and the next one. As was established in the second chapter, the most detailed tattoo on Francisco is a recreation of Francisco de Goya's "The Sleep of Reason the Produces Monsters". Please go to that chapter if you'd like a more detailed recap of what it looks like. And yes, Francisco is named after Francisco de Goya. **

**(5) The "The Disasters of War" is a series of 82 printed plates created by Francisco de Goya as a visual protest to several conflicts between his homeland Spain and Napoleon's France which occurred between 1810 and 1820. However they weren't released until 35 years after his death (1863) due to the political environment of Spain when they were made. Remember, the Spanish Inquisition was still in power, though it was greatly weakened. What these plates depict is both stark and realistic portrayals of scenes of slaughter and its aftermath or metaphorical representations of the corrupt regime after the wars were done. Anyway, the plates that Francisco and Gwen are specifically referencing are Plate 33 ("What More Can One Do?") and Plate 39 ("Great Deeds-against the dead!"). Feel free to look them up if you so wish but be warned that they can be very unsettling, as war itself is. **

**(6) Sucio putrefacto bastardo means "dirty rotten bastard" in Spanish.**

**(7) Sailor Fuku is the atypical school uniform for Japanese school girls, and a modified version is used right here in Private and many Catholic schools in North America, and is also seen throughout the anime medium. Basically, it's usually a White, Grey, Brown, or Navy blue t-shirt or light sweater combined with either a tie or bow-tie, and a skirt of almost any colour (custom requested by the student), or plaid style. The choice of shoes is optional.**

**Total Drama is property of Jennifer Pertsch, Tom McGillis, Fresh TV productions, Teletoon, and Cartoon Network. Kevin Rawlings, Jay, Damian, and Greg belong to me. Giavanna, Erebus, Nanon, Mathieu, and Carlyle belong to Rufus T. Serenity. Melody, Rob, Francisco, Britney, Nise, Chris, Mary, Joseph, Ari, Solita, as well as the basic storyline and some later plot threads belong to CRRGL.**


End file.
